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Lance isn’t quite sure when it began happening. It has become somewhat of a habit of his now. Nearly every night - if not all - He leaves his room, shrouded in the darkness of the vast stretch of endless space; During what has been presumed to be day time, The lights of the ship are on and providing energy. But at night, they are not, and blackness cloaks all.
All Lance had to do was find a way to light his path. He found a device from the ship, likely from the control or maintenance room. Lance snuck there weeks ago. from then on, he used it to lurk from his room to other parts of the ship.
Lance sighs and glances out every glass window on his way, a wistful smile on his lips as he gazes at the millions - infinite, perhaps - stars. He was always fascinated by them back on earth, seeing them as magnificent gems littering the darkness beyond human reach.
Now, however, they are much different to him. They no longer hold mysteries. They hold nightmares - they remind Lance of his longing for the planet in which he lived for such long time - where he grew.
Shaking his head, Lance rid himself from the pain. He glances up and sees his destination before him - Keith’s door.
He debates with himself for a moment with this is truly the best option, and shrugs as he sees nothing wrong. Sure, it is far beyond the ordinary, but not wrong. It is alright to want what Lance yearns.
Swallowing and suppressing the flutter of nervousness in his stomach - a feeling he experiences, although weaker with each passing day, every time he pays one of his late night visits - Lance raises his knuckles to the metal door and knocks.
A few moments of silence greet him coldly, but Lance is not put off. Keith can easily be taking his time. Or perhaps he’s fallen asleep. The latter thought has Lance signing in rejection. He knows how Keith is normally distant from others. And he’s known since this began that it would come to an end.
A moment before he fully turns, ready to return to his room and mourn his home planet in loneliness, however, A sound catches his attention. Lance stops at once. He blinks as he turns back towards the door.
“...Keith?” He asks tentatively, and when no answer comes he assumes it was his imagination.
Once again, the sound reaches his ears. This time, Lance stops. He tilts his head to the side, now aware he hasn’t imagined it. Slowly, he attempts to talk to his friend again.
“Keith?” He asks, voice stronger than last time.
He receives no answer again. Lance groans.
“Seriously, Keith," Lance says to the door, knowing his voice is easily reaching his friend. “What’s up with you? I guessed you wouldn’t want to do this anymore at some point, but I didn't know this is how you’d go about it. Geez.”
Then a reply comes, and Lance is frozen in place.
“...Leave me alone, Lance.”
He sounds broken. That’s the first thing that dawns on Lance.
Keith’s voice sounds broken - Shattered. Only from it, Lance deduces he’s been crying. He must admit he’s surprised. aIt can’t be, but there is no way to deny the facts; Keith has evidently been crying. He sounds heartbroken, judging from the waver of his words at the end.
Lance can tell Keith wants him away but does not budge. Something is happening with Keith, and Lance can be damned if he did not find out.
“Keith,” Lance is determined. “Open the door.”
When no answer comes, he rasps against it.
“Keith, what’s going on?” He asks, a tad desperate now. “Answer me, damn it!”
“Go away!”
If anything, Keith sounds betrayed, voice hoarse and strong, yet trembling and fatigued. Something is definitely not right.
Lance notices another difference in Keith’s voice too - it’s a tad more animalistic, in a way. He can’t explain it, not even to himself, but it is Keith's yet not Keith's.
“Keith, I will knock this door down if you don't open!” Lance threatens, and adds, “I have my bayard with me; If I want, I can shoot this down.”
As though to prove his point, Lance unlatches the weapon from his waist, banging it against the door.
“No!” Keith roars from the other side. Lance steps back, startled.
It doesn’t take long for Lance to recover. “What the fuck is wrong?!”
“Nothi--” The moment Keith’s voice breaks and halts, Lance knows he must intervene immediately. He huffs a gush of air and materializes his weapon, aim locked onto the door. He hesitates for a moment, thinking of the consequences. but soon he banishes them; something is wrong with Keith and Lance must know why to help.
“I’m coming in!” He announces bravely, finger pulling the trigger. The energy blast emerges from the weapon in an instant. It soars before slamming against the door. The whole hallway shakes under impact, but the door does not crumble. Instead, it is cracked, various threads of broken metal stretching and intertwining.
Smoke emits from it, twirling in the air as an agitated snake. Lance curses under his breath, praying Allura or Coran haven’t heard it.
“Lance!” He hears Keith cry from the other side. “Stop! There’s nothing wrong! Just… go away…”
The thought does cross Lance’s mind this time. Perhaps he could leave Keith with his space; he didn’t want the red paladin to be invaded, nor did he wish to pry.
“..Please.”
Keith’s plead is what banishes the option from Lance’s plans. This all felt wrong; Keith shouldn’t beg, sound broken, or refuse to see him. none of this is correct, and Lance will make sure to fix it.
Sighing, Lance aims once more and shoots. The jerk to the structure of the hall occurs again, but Lance ignores it along with Keith’s protests. He shoots again, and again, and again.
Finally, after what seems like a century later, Keith’s door finally shatters. Lance does not hesitate in stepping inside, his bayard vanishing into its original form as he returns it to its place on his leg - It has become somewhat a habit to carry them around even in situations such as this; Galras can land an attack anytime, and one can never be too prepared.
“Keith?” Lance asks once the dust clears and he can see the room. Calling it a mess would be an understatement; the place looks like a war zone! Littering the ground are various items, from pens and paper to knives and swords. The mattress of his empty bed is scattered across the other side of the room somehow, and tables and decorations are mostly broken or fallen.
Then, at the very corner of the room, shoulders trembling, whimpers escaping him, is Keith. He is curled up in a ball at the corner, jacket pulled up to hide the back of his head. From Lance’s point of view, all to be seen is a large, leather, red and white attire. But Lance needn’t see Keith’s feature to know - It is clear from his position, the stiffness of his body and the mere fact that hasn’t snapped at Lance for destroying the door that Keith is not alright.
“Hey, Keith?”
Lance approaches the red paladin, step after step. His stride ends when he is only a few feets away - one more step and an extended hand would brush against Keith.
“...stop.” Keith pleads, Lance biting his lip at the clear pain. “Just please… leave.”
Lance can’t do that. He wants Keith to be comfortable and to share his secrets with Lance at his own timing, but this does not exactly fit anything Lance could have been prepared for. Keith is concealing something important and it is clearly better if he has a friend by his side.
Keith is stubborn and hard headed; He won’t allow anyone to bear his burdens. However, Lance does not desist. He will help Keith; Keith needs him, even if the red paladin can’t accept this himself.
“I want to help you, Keith,” Lance tells him. “But I can’t help you unless you let me. These last days, y’know, I guess things were...Different.”
Lance sighs and glances aside, not quite avoiding eye contact; he is fully aware Keith won’t look up anytime soon.
“'Course,” He snorted. “You’re still a stupid loner. And you have a mullet, which should settle my case as to why you’re lame, but the information doesn’t ever seem to sink in for you. Anyways, back to the topic,” Lance’s voice softens a bit. “All of these nights I’ve been coming here, We, uh, bonded.”
It feels a tad foreign to voice the thoughts that plagued his mind for various sleepless hours in bed after he has returned to his room from Keith’s.
He isn’t sure why he comes to Keith’ room, he simply remembers one day stumbling upon it and finding the lights on, noticing the luminosity spilling from under the sliding door.
He was alone that night, only having the longing to keep him a dreaded company. Keith was rather understanding that day, and allowed him to stay in the red paladin's room. It was good for Lance.
Then, after that night, Lance came back nearly every single night. There is no point in these late night meetings, really; all they do is chat, far too exhausted to fight, leading them to bond, instead.
They even opened up their problems to one another.
Despite all the bonding, though, Lance always feels as though Keith will tire of it, and thus end these moments, leaving Lance to himself.
However, apparently, that is not the case - not yet, at least. But something worse is going on, and Lance wants to be there for Keith.
With a deep breath, Lance speaks the words he has wished to, conveying as much of his heart as he can.
“Keith, no matter what it is, tell me. I’ll understand, and I’ll do everything I can to help you, alright?”
“You can’t understand,” Keith says, eventually, and Lance frowns. Has he not expressed what he wished?
“Yes, Keith,” Lance argues. “ I will.”
“You can’t.” Keith laughs humourlessly, the sound dry and hollow. Lance can practically feel his own throat aching from the scraping that must be occurring in Keith’s.
“Yes, I can!” Lance is frustrated by now. “I’m trying to help you, you know? You could at least show some appreciation.”
“Shut up!” Keith’s whole frame shudders under his own booming voice, yet Lance remains steadfast.
“No, I won’t!” Lance glares, his feet moving even closer. “There’s something you’re hiding, Keith - and it’s hurting you! Let me help you, for fucks sake!”
"Don't touch me!” Keith cries suddenly, somehow curling into an even smaller ball at the wall. “..Don't touch me.”
Lance’s finger - extended towards Keith’s back in an unconscious attempt to touch him - recoil instantly. Despite the sting at his chest caused by Keith’s words, lance did not back down.
“Why don't you let me help you?” Lance asks, voice cold, but calmer. “I’m trying to help you, asshole. But all you’re doing is pushing me away. Heck, you aren’t even looking at me! Look at me. Keith!”
It takes a while, yes, but Keith does snap. Lance insisted relentlessly, and Keith can't bear it. He nearly roars as he whirls around, standing from his crouched position.
“Fine! Look at me, Lance!” He barks. “Are you happy now?!”
Lance is frozen in his spot, eyes wide and frantic.
“...Keith?”
“Yes, Lance,” Keith expression falter from rage to sorrow. “It is me.”
“Keith, you’re a…” Lance can’t finish his sentence, but Keith can, anger seeping in his words.
“Galra.” He seethes. “I know.”
“But…” Lance still can’t believe what he sees.
“But?”
“How?” Lance asks, and he swallows the bile in his throat and readjusts his position. “How are you a galra?”
“I don't know,” Keith admits, savoring the few moments he has before the inevitable judgment from his friend. “I can’t say there was nothing wrong with me, because I could tell there was. I just… never spoke of it.”
Lance’s features are unreadable. “Explain.”
Keith can’t find the will to refuse.
“It first started as purple markings on my skin, which I only noticed on my wrist after a few days. I wondered what they could be, but didn’t pay it much mind; we’re in space, traveling from planet to planet - there are all sorts of shit we could contract out here. So, after it didn’t go away, instead grew, I started worrying. I searched a bit but found nothing like it. Again, I ignored it, hoping - praying - it would go away.”
“It didn’t.” Lance finishes dawning realization, and Keith nods.
“Yeah. and then, before I know it,” Keith lifts his hand to his face, inspecting them with bitterness. “I’m a galra. I fucking galra. The very thing we’re fighting against.”
Silence follows, and Keith destroys it immediately.
“Speechless, huh?” Keith taunts with a grim, pained laugh. “I imagined. What do you wanna do with me now? Throw me in space? Hand me over to Zarkon? Or just deposit me on another planet?”
"Keith,” Lance begins, taking a step towards Keith, who can’t bring himself to stay in place, and moves back.
“Don't,” Keith says, and Lance stops.
Keith can’t understand what Lance is planning until he feels something ram into his face, and he falls back onto the ground, landing on his back against the wall. He lips are bruised now, and he brings a clawed hand to it, inspecting the blood.
“I see,” Keith snorts in misery. “So you’ll finish me off--”
“How dare you," Lance clenches his fists in anger, teeth gritting and jaws locking. “How dare you say something horrible like that?!”
“What...?”
“How can you say I - we - will hand you off to Zarkon, or just leave you behind?! Keith, you are an insensitive, stupid, lame asshole, but you’re also our teammate - our friend. We don't leave our friends behind! Galra or not, you’re still Keith. You’re still the stupid mullet jerk I've been bonding with all this time.”
“Lance, I’m a galra!” Keith but growls. “What else would you do?!”
"Nothing, Keith!” Lance throws his arms up. “It’s not that complicated, is it? I won’t do anything because nothing changed. You’re still the same, I’m still the same, and I’m still gonna be coming here every fucking night. The only difference now is that damn door that’s in ruins.”
Keith didn’t ever expect Lance to be the one saying this, but he can’t deny the warmth bubbling in him now. He clutches at his chest with his hands, feeling his new skin. His heart is thundering in his ribcage, a million feelings sending it into an overdrive.
“I…” Keith tries, but nothing comes out. “I…”
And then he does it - Keith cries.
He breaks down in tears before lance, hands coming to his face. A feeling erupts from his throat and he lets out a sob, the sound filling the atmosphere. He is briefly thankful that the other’s managed to remain asleep during his and Lance’s fight. It was a miracle they haven’t heard it, really.
“I’m sorry,” Keith says, hiccuping. “I..”
“Shut up,” Lance hushes him in his own way, throwing his arms around Keith.
Keith sobs into Lance’s chest, apologizing over and over. He expects the action to unnerve Lance, but all the blue paladin does is smile it off and say it’s okay.
But Keith knows it’s not okay; there is too much ahead of them now, and dealing with it all will be beyond exhausting. But Keith isn’t preoccupied. He expects to be but isn’t.
"It's alright," Lance soothes in his ear with a murmur.
"It's not..." Keith says pathetically. "How are gonna form Voltron now? How are Allura and Coran going to react? and... and how will Shiro take this?"
"Keith," Lance lifts Keith's chin with his finger, their eyes locking. This moment is far too delicate to be ruined with snarky remarks, and that's likely what keeps Lance from teasing Keith.
"Listen, it will all be alright, okay? Allura and Coran know you - They'll be fine. same with forming Voltron - what could go wrong? just because you're not human doesn't mean you can't pilot your lion. And Shiro - Shiro will understand completely." Lance smiles at Keith, surprising the other boy with a soft, tender kiss on his forehead. "We'll all understand."
Keith doesn't answer, but nods against Lance's chest.
He knows not if it might just be the soothing caress of lance’s fingers through his hair, or Lance's arms pressing them close, or the appeasing rhythm of Lance’s heartbeat against his ear. Or maybe, it’s just Lance. Not his body or warmth, but his presence.
It takes them only a few more minutes for a serene atmosphere to settle, and even less for them to doze off, snuggled against each other. All too soon, all worries slip Keith’s mind, and he thinks it’s alright. For Lance is there.
Lance will help him.
Keith guesses he can call this a bonding moment.
And Lance better the hell not forget.