Chapter Text
Felix first lays eyes on him in the summer.
Felix is back for a few days from his job in the city. His mother had insisted he visit for her birthday, stating that it was her only wish to see his face at least once that year. His sisters had ganged up on him and guilt-tripped him until he found himself booking train tickets back to the sleepy town.
He finishes doing the dishes for the night and leaves the house for a night stroll, promising to bring back some ice cream for his sisters so they'd give him a moment's peace. His mother had waved him off dismisively, immersed in her painting.
As he walked down the familiar streets, he took a deep breath, savoring that unique smell that seemed to permeate the air only there. He swings his hands, trying to inject some whimsy into the action, and humming along to the song playing in his earbuds. No one else is out, so he doesn't even feel self-conscious about his off-key singing and sloppy hoodie and shorts.
Rounding the corner to the playground, he comes across a shadowed figure on the swing. The mysterious figure has long, blonde hair and oversized, stylish clothes, a rarity in the town where Felix had grown up. The guy is drenched in sweat from the heat, and his plush lips are wrapped around a popsicle. Even his side profile is so handsome, Felix has a hard time ignoring him. His proud nose, sharp eyes, and pretty dimples that pop whenever he sucks on the popsicle are more than captivating.
Just as Felix is about to look away, the other's eyes lock into his, flashing with wild emotion. He gets up and stumbles over his own feet in his haste to reach Felix. The popsicle drops from his hand as his long legs eat up the ground between them.
But he comes to an abrupt stop in front of him, seemingly nervous. He fiddles with his hair, trying and failing to meet his eyes. Felix puzzles why this beautiful man is trying to talk to him, much less being nervous about it.
"Uh, hi... I haven't seen you around here... did you move recently?" Felix tries to put the guy at ease by making some small talk.
"Ah, no... I'm just visiting... my boyfriend actually..." he smiles shyly, looking at Felix through his long lashes.
Why is this pretty stranger flirting if he already has a boyfriend?
"Oh, that's nice... You dropped your popsicle, so did you want to follow me to the shop to get more?" Felix decides being friendly wouldn't hurt anyone, internally shrugging at the questionable morals of the other.
The guy's eyes open wide, mouth falling open in shock. Felix had not expected such a reaction to his simple invitation, suddenly feeling extremely self-conscious.
"Yes! I would love to get ice cream with you!" the other says, looking far too excited for a person who had carelessly dropped their popsicle. Felix relaxes at that, relieved that his words had not been misinterpreted.
"I'm Felix, by the way," he says, starting in the direction of the shop.
"Yeah..." the guy agrees, weirdly, before correcting himself with a vigorous shake of the head, "I mean, I'm Hyunjin! It's really nice to meet you!"
Felix shakes his head, somehow an endeared smile fighting its way out of him.
Hyunjin rambles the whole way to the store, sharing way too much about himself with a virtual stranger.
Within a span of ten minutes, Felix finds out that he's a model for Versace and travels a lot for his job; his dog is with his parents for this reason, and they are the best; his friends are all annoying, but he still loves them; he's happy to visit his boyfriend because it's a rare opportunity in his busy schedule.
It's the first of these pieces of information that sticks with Felix. He marvels how he can meet a real luxury brand model in the flesh and talk to him like they've known each other for years.
I guess not all models are stuck up...
By the time they step into the refreshing interior of the shop, Felix is comfortable enough to throw his head back to laugh at one of Hyunjin's anecdotes and even slap lightly at his broad shoulder.
The two of them descend like a rampage into the quiet shop, tripping over shelf edges and filling the air with the chaos of their giggles. Familiar with the layout of the store, Felix leads him to where the ice creams are stored in the back.
"You have to try this one, I've never seen them being sold anywhere else!" Felix waves the neon green and yellow wrapper of the ice cream in front of Hyunjin's small face.
"What is this?!" he exclaims with his eyes turned in half moons from the force of his giggles.
"Lemon and cucumber ice cream! It's the most refreshing combination for summer!" Felix tries his best to convince him. He imagines Hyunjin would give a really funny reaction when he tastes it, having discovered his penchant for dramatics.
"No~~ Felix, you can't be serious~"
"You have to try, it's a specialty of your boyfriend's hometown," Felix grabs a few more normally flavoured ice creams before leaving the cold storage to pay.
When they reach the counter, Felix pays and receives the bag of ice cream bars. Only when he turns to give Hyunjin his does he realise how subdued the other had become.
Hyunjin reaches out to grab it, fingers lingering on Felix's for longer than appropriate.
"Hey... can we just hang out for a while longer... just until I eat this ice cream?" Hyunjin asks, eyes huge and imploring.
"Yeah, of course... "
They settle on a park bench, the bag of cold treats between them.
Hyunjin eats his ice-cream bar almost morosely. He doesn't seem to notice the unusual flavour, licking away at it mechanically.
Felix doesn't have a clue what changed the vibe. He tries to scour his mind for something to keep the conversation going. As he looks at the beauty beside him, his eyes come to rest on the black and white rings on his elegant finger. They look unique, made from a material Felix has never seen before.
"Hey, I like your rings... where did you get them?" he asks, trying to distract the other from the sad thoughts that seem to plague him.
"Oh, these..." Hyunjin stares at the rings like they were precious. "They were cheap, just from some random stall at a market," he continues.
"They're really pretty..." Felix admires, leaning close to take a better look.
"Don't worry, you'll get them too," Hyunjin stretches out his large hand in front of Felix's face, effectively distracting him from the conversation.
Felix's phone vibrates with a text, disrupting the peaceful bubble they were in.
"Oh, my mom is wondering where I am..."
Felix looks up from his phone to see Hyunjin's eyebrows drawn together, lips pressing into a thin line. His eyes are shiny with tears, ready to spill at any second.
"Hey, hey... what's wrong?" Felix asks, alarmed.
"You have to leave now, don't you?" his voice trembles. He sounds sad and almost afraid.
Felix's heart hurts for him. Why is he so attached even though they just met?
"It's okay, we can meet again tomorrow if you want?" Felix tries to reassure, desperate not to let those tears fall.
Hyunjin takes a deep breath, clearly trying to gather himself. He swallows harshly and sniffles, looking so small and vulnerable.
After a minute, though, he seems resigned. His lips stretch into a tremulous smile.
"I have to leave tonight... but I really enjoyed being with you..." he says, sounding wistful.
"Oh, ok... have a safe trip! I'm sure we'll meet again..." Felix isn't sure where the confidence is coming from, but he cannot comprehend a reality where he never meets Hyunjin again.
"Yeah, we will. Here, read this later, okay?"
Hyunjin withdraws a pretty envelope from his hoodie pocket and hands it over carefully to him.
Before Felix can ask him any questions about it, he wraps him up in the warmest, tightest hug ever. The feeling of saying goodbye permeates it, even though they had both agreed they would meet again.
The desperation with which he clings to Felix's pullover springs tears in his eyes. He closes them and tries to savor the moment, though it lingers in the back of his mind that this is a person he's only met today.
After a few long moments, Hyunjin pulls away slowly. He looks deeply into Felix's eyes before his boba-like pupils dart all over Felix's face.
"Take care of yourself, Felix..." he says.
Before Felix can gather himself and finish replying with a "You too", he's already out of sight.
Felix doesn't see him again for a while.
Life moves on, but in the back of his mind, he keeps thinking about the sad face Hyunjin had before leaving. It haunts him that he couldn't figure out a way to keep in touch, inexplicably affected by the short interaction they had had.
Felix has other things going on in his life. The video game he's working on is in the character development phase, so he needs inspiration like water. He wants to do a good job, since he was one of the main people who pushed for a more cutesy, calm game this time around. He's toying with the idea of a white ferret as one of the characters, something unique yet cute.
He's lost in these thoughts as he climbs into the packed train compartment. It's not rush hour, but his workplace is in the heart of the city, so the trains to and fro are always full of people. He holds onto his backpack in front of him politely and tries his best to get comfortable for the journey.
It tracks that he doesn't notice the identity of the last-minute passenger who squished himself in. But when he looks up from adjusting his bag, he freezes in disbelief.
Because right in front of him, like a dream, there is Hyunjin.
He almost can't believe his eyes. After months, how is it possible to randomly meet him on the train he takes to work every day?
He looks different in the harsh subway light. His hair is short and dyed black, making him look much younger and cuter, like a schoolboy. He's wearing an oversized grey hoodie, sweater paws holding onto the strap of his designer crossbody bag. His eyes lock onto Felix, and he eats up the distance between them in two giant steps of his long legs.
"Felix! Thank god I didn't miss the train! I had to run here," Hyunjin says, heaving for breath between words.
His pretty hands, adorned with bracelets and rings, clutch onto the hand grips hanging from the top of the train. Felix's eyes linger on the flex of his forearms as he leans his head on them, muscles he didn't know existed showing beneath Hyunjin's thin skin.
Felix snaps his eyes away and forces himself to greet him coherently.
"Oh my god, Hyunjin! What a coincidence!" Felix can't stop his lips from stretching into a wide smile, only able to hope it doesn't look too enamoured.
"Yeah... How are you? How is work?" he asks, straightening up. His eyes seem to linger on Felix's lips as he leans down a little.
Felix is a little taken aback at the action, thinking back to Hyunjin's boyfriend back home. He furrows his brows in confusion, but the moment is lost as Hyunjin suddenly looks up into his eyes and tilts his head questioningly.
Put on the spot, Felix blurts out the first thing that comes to mind," Work's been tough, I've been trying to name a white ferret as part of the character design, but nothing that starts with 'F' fits..."
Felix inwardly marvels at the level of comfort Hyunjin induces within him, managing to draw out a complaint when most of his friends call him 'Sunshine' because of his positivity. Even his mom would be hard-pressed to mention a time he had been open about his struggles.
"Ohh right... Well, how about Jiniret?" Hyunjin suggests, eyes glinting.
"Actually, that's perfect! Ok, Jiniret it is. Anyway, enough about me. How are your parents and Kkami?" he asks, a surge of excitement rushing through his body at the simple act of talking to the other.
The conversation flows from there.
For every word Felix says, Hyunjin is always ready with a cute comment or a hearty laugh; his reactions never wane. He shares entertaining anecdotes about his friends and his Versace shoots, making the crowded train car feel as comfortable as a sit-down restaurant.
"Speaking of video games, did you finally rank up in LoL?" He asks with a sly smile. Felix's heart skips a beat looking at those plump lips stretched into an unfairly attractive expression.
How could he remember that even after so long?
"For your information, yes, I did... stayed up all night, but I'm Gold now," he brags, happy to share it with someone new.
"What? Oh... I thought you were Plat already, my mistake..." Hyunjin replies, a slight wrinkle between his handsome brows.
"Hey~~ Gold is still pretty good, but next time we meet I'll definitely be Plat, okay!" he protests.
"Next time we meet, huh?" Hyunjin says with an unreadable look on his face.
"I mean! I hope we can meet soon. Since you're back in the city now, I'm assuming? I really like hanging out with you..." Felix explains in a rush, feeling his ears start burning with embarrassment from the word vomit.
"Felix... The letter... Oh shit, this is my stop, I have to get off now," Hyunjin vanishes out the sliding doors as fast as he came.
As Felix walks home in the cool autumn evening, he contemplates what happened in the train earlier. He had somehow left another interaction with Hyunjin with no way to contact or meet him again. They had, yet again, talked about everything under the sun except that.
Letter...
Hyunjin had mentioned a letter in the last few moments before he left, which jogged his memory of a fancy envelope being handed over that first night they'd met. Felix had forgotten all about it when he had gotten back to the city the following morning. He didn't even remember if he had brought it back with him or left it in his childhood bedroom.
As soon as he keys in the code to his door, he lets it slam shut behind him and beelines to his bedroom. He rummages around his drawers and bedside table, trying desperately to find the mysterious letter.
Who even writes letters nowadays?
But for a chance to meet Hyunjin again, he could go through the slight hardship of searching through his shoebox apartment. He flips through his stray notebooks, opens old storage boxes he's sure he hasn't opened in years just to double-check. The long day and unreasonable urgency he feels even pushes him to call his mom to check his room at home.
Yet, the letter doesn't turn up anywhere.
Giving up with a deep sigh, Felix collapses onto his couch. He tries to calm himself, trying to reason that it isn't life or death if he doesn't find that letter.
Even though it feels like it is.
He stares at the ceiling in despair, the fleeting memories of meeting Hyunjin on the train flipping through his mind like a photobook. His small face full of expression, his sweet eyes, the warm way he teased him, and showed that he remembered him in the same breath. It was so precious that Felix's young heart couldn't accept that it was all over.
He glances around his darkened living room, as if a magical solution would jump out. As he despodently traces over the TV console and the armchair, the suitcase he had barely unpacked caught his eye.
He facepalms at his own stupidity and groans out loud.
Of course it's in there!
He jumps off the couch with renewed vigour, the last ray of hope filling his chest. He unclips it quickly, opening it reverently like a treasure chest. There, nestled within books and rolls of film, is the letter.
Felix carefully opens the flap and pulls out the single piece of expensive paper folded in the envelope.
Hi Yongbokkie,
Yes, I know that name. It's because I'm from your future. I know that's unbelievable but I also know you'll reason with yourself and realise it's the only explanation.
I live in an alternate timeline that runs opposite to yours and I can only visit with a path opens between them. But the path doesn't last long and doesn't let me bring any technology.
I always want to hang out with you. But we only meet three more times on XX-XX-20XX, XX-XX-20XX and finally on XX-XX-20XX. Come to the train station at 10am.
Yours always,
Hyunjinnie
Felix's mind races, unable to make sense of the words. Of course, he's heard of alternate timelines, but that was all fantasy and fiction. To think something like this could actually happen in real life is too much to accept. Even though Hyunjin did seem too good to be real.
As he slowly comes to terms with this new reality, his emotions are all over the place. At first, he's excited by the situation, thinking Something straight out of anime, and I get to live in it!
But the more he dwells on it and the night deepens, he is filled with a strange sense of grief. He had been daydreaming about Hyunjin all this time, a person who seemed to hold endless possibilities. He could imagine them meeting over and over, becoming close friends and maybe even something more.
The letter's contents had shattered all those hopes and dreams. Their future was supposedly set in stone, and there was nothing either of them could do to change it. It was literally fated that they would meet again, but that same fate limits them to a finite number of meetings.
As the first tendrils of dawn crawl through the curtains of the living room window, Felix concludes to savour this bittersweetness.
When it's all over, and all he has are memories, he doesn't want any more regrets. He had already wasted so much time by not reading the letter earlier (though even that was predestined). He needs to give his all to these next three meetings, spend as much time as possible showering Hyunjin with love.
Maybe in the next lifetime, they can spend it together. For now, this is all he can do.