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“I’m hosting a party later tonight. You guys should come.” Stacy smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes because they were ogling Dustin. It felt a little too heavy, given how they were both in public.
“Uh- yea- yeah! We’ll be there.” Dustin stuttered as he visibly shook with excitement, Will thought that if this interaction went on longer Dustin’s head would combust, explode within itself. Stacey smiled and walked away like a model on a runway; everyone stared except Will.
“Did that really just happen?” Will asked incredulously, a small giggle leaving his teeth showing a grin. He felt the same way as Dustin, he couldn’t help himself. This was a new era; fresh out of school; summer is back in town which means free time before he heads to NYU. Free time he’s been savoring since the beginning of senior year because the upside down took up most of his time in the past — the nightmares that terrorized him so much that some nights he didn’t sleep because he felt him everywhere. The slimy tentacles that weren’t there visibly but the lingering touch stuck to his skin like stains you couldn’t wash off.
The flashbacks still linger, it was something that was bound to stay. It made him who he was even if he never asked for it and begged for it to go away. But with time it became easier, staying filed away in the back of his head.
“Should we go?” Will asked “Uh.. duh!” Lucas replied sarcastically, he’s been spending his free time with Max. Rightfully so, Will couldn’t imagine losing the love of your life and then having to see her right in front of you without a way to speak to her, love her; like it was some cruel joke.
Will knew he was actively lying to himself, he could imagine it because he was right in front of him, staring at Will with such care and precision that it made a warm feeling twist, pull, and gnaw at his stomach.
No matter how hard he tried to build that wall up in his heart, Mike tore it down — swinging through like a bulldozer every single time. Mike was too… Mike; answering his walkie when Will still had panic attacks even if it was months after the fiasco. When it came to watching movies during the weekend, then ultimately sitting too close for comfort; their shoulders bumping against each other and the warmth of his hand lingering against his arm. Or his hand patting Will’s thigh when he noticed the tense posture Will wore before he could even notice it on himself.
The snowball turned into an avalanche..
Except it never did because it was just how Mike is.
Coincidentally enough, Mike spoke up, “What, no! I have a better idea.” He whined. “Hypothetically, what if I said I made a D&D campaign last night and I wanted to play it tonight?” Everyone stared, the silence gave the attitude of being unimpressed. It reminded Will of the time he kept begging to play D&D the summer before freshman year but everyone brushed him off. It was the same summer that he moved. He felt the same sinking pit at fourteen, he was sure Mike was currently feeling that same losing, being-left-behind emotion.
Max was the first to speak up. “Yeah no, Wheeler. We want to have fun; get drunk.” She scoffed and Mike groaned out a ‘Hey!’ like a petulant toddler who didn’t get his way.
“C’mon Will, you wanna play my campaign, right? Dustin?” He turned to Will and Dustin, desperation in his eyes. His frown becomes longer on his face — and god help Will find the strength not side with Mike.
“Yeah, no. I agree with Max — plus did you see the way Stacey looked at me? She was practically all over me with her eyes.” Dustin said with his own form of desperation, he needed this and Mike grimaced at him before turning his attention to Will, who currently felt like crawling in a ditch and dying. He was the last one with a say and he hated it.
“I- I don’t know, Mike.” He says anxiously, it was like walking on eggshells to avoid hurting Mike’s feelings or the rest of the party.
It didn’t help that everyone’s eyes were on him; especially Max’s playful glare because she knew.
—
Last summer—the last one before their senior year, Will got close to Max, bonding over useless things like comics and her introducing Will to Kate Bush (who is now one of Will’s favorite musicians behind The Clash and The Cure.) Sooner or later, things got deeper, and conversations during her physical therapy sessions got longer. They spoke about Henry, how it was being alone and trapped somewhere; in someone’s mind while your own feelings were brewing and tipping over the edge. How Vecna knew everything about them. They talked about the past, present, and what they would do once they left this town.
“I wanna go back to California. I miss the warm weather all year round, how walkable the cities were.” She mentioned “and I miss skateboarding..” she whispered under her breath. Much to her effort she sniffled quickly and wiped the tear. Max hated being seen as vulnerable, she could count on one hand the times she cried in front of the party and she refused to let this be another one. Much to her dismay, Will never saw her as that. He viewed her as strong, sometimes stronger than he ever imagined.
“Maybe I could come with you..” Will said softly, his voice shaking in multiple octaves. His hand intertwined with hers, showing that he understands. Showing that he’s there for her. “And while I’m there again I’ll be able to meet people.. people like me and maybe I’ll be able to move on from someone.” He said quietly; Max nodded with tears brimming.
“Who?” She questioned. Later she admitted she knew who Will was hinting at but Max was smart — if not wiser than Will the wise. She knew if he finally uttered the forsaken words, it would get easier than stuffing it down in places that could never see the light of day. Just like how it was for her, telling Lucas she loved him instead of pushing him away.
“Mike.”
—
Wills, face flushed like he was back in class and being forced to present in front of twenty kids.
“I think we should go to the party.” Mike rolled his eyes, the look of betrayal simmering under his sour expression. “It’s a new experience, Mike, everyone besides you wants to go.” Will said softly as everyone muttered a ‘yeah’ and ‘exactly’.
“You don’t have to go, Wheeler. I’m sure we’d have more fun without you anyway.” Max teased, only for Mike to mutter ‘shut up’ in response.
“Plus we have all summer to play D&D,” Will said like he was trying to negotiate a deal.
“Oh my god. Fine! We’ll go to the stupid party.” He says with distaste, as if the words themselves were bitter but everyone ignores it; cheering and jumping with joy.
—
Will decided to get ready at the Wheelers. Mike has an updated wardrobe that he could choose from because Mike couldn’t care less if Will stole his clothes — when they were younger it was more normal. A stolen sweater or zip-up, maybe even a t-shirt would get taken time from time. Except, maybe with age, it started being weird. Aberrant. It tightened at Will’s heart because Mike would pass it off as ‘you’re like a brother’ or ‘what’s mine is yours!’ When it clearly didn’t feel the same on Will’s end. It was like dragging your wound through dirt, the fabric that smelled like Mike was wrapped around the same body and heart that loved him is suffocating. Yet he never dared to say anything about it because if this is the closest way he can get to having Mike, then he would take it.
“I just don’t get why you agreed to the party. If you guys wanted to get drunk I could’ve stolen some of my dad’s beer and we could’ve drunk it by lovers lake or something.” Mike said through the shared bathroom that connected his and Nancy’s room. He mumbled through spit and foamy toothpaste as he brushed his teeth.
Will laughed knowing Mike would never steal from his dad. He knew Mike slightly hated his dad but was more or less scared of him even if Ted Wheeler wasn’t that much of a constant force in Mike’s life.
“Don’t act like you’re not afraid of your dad, Mike.” He grinned by himself because currently, Will is looking through Mike’s closet; searching for a casual enough shirt. One that felt like him but clearly wasn’t his. He settled on a white undershirt that would peek through an unbuttoned black and blue flannel, which looks like the one Mike wore in Lenora. “Plus the party is a chance to meet new people, y’know? Something we never really did in high school.” Will mentioned casually as he slipped on the flannel and moved to the full body mirror on Mike’s bedroom door
“Okay yeah, I’m scared of big, bad, Ted Wheeler.” He joked, Will heard him spit in the sink then the faucet ran. “But you don’t even like talking to people! Remember you could barely accept a dance with a girl at the snowball? I had to help you.” Will cringes at the memory only for it to sting when he brings up the fact that he had to help Will with a mere ‘sure’.
“C’mon mike, we were like thirteen. I’d never gotten attention like that — and well, you know..” I didn’t like her. The words died and clung to his throat like a sifter letting fine, easy words through instead of big, heavy words coming out.
“I get it, she wasn’t your type.” Mike teased. Will only laughed nervously and let out a silent ‘yeah..’
Will hears Mike stepping back into his room, the pads of his feet stepping over onto the carpet. He can see Mike in the background, standing. Staring as Will posed looking at himself, he felt off, this wasn’t him and it never will be — “Is this okay I- I cant tell..” He sighed with frustration.
He saw Mike still staring, like a figure of some big revelation. He looked like that moment of realization that you get when you understand the math problem the teacher worked out on the board.
But at the same time, it wasn’t because under his scattered freckles there was a rosy tint. It’s just the lighting, yeah. The lighting is fucking with Will’s brain right now.
Just as Will was about to speak up, Mike beat him to it. “Yeah, uh- no, yeah. I mean-” Mike sighs “You look good. My flannel suits you.”
“Are you sure? You don’t think I look idiotic?”
“No. Believe me, you look good.”
Will looks at Mike, up and down, then to his eyes – lips – no, back to his eyes. From what Will could read off of Mike, he’s genuine. Will decides to keep the outfit on.
He realizes he wouldn’t even have the time to get redressed because soon enough Mike’s mom, Mrs. Wheeler yells from the stairs that Lucas is here. “Ready?” Mike asks quietly in that one voice reserved for Will only. The blush still lingers on Mike’s face. He nods and Mike gives a gentle squeeze to his shoulder before brushing past and opening his bedroom door; Will is left standing in the room. Replaying that specific moment – there was tension, no doubt. Yet he couldn’t tell if it was mutual or not and it didn’t help that Mike’s touch left his skin buzzing. A different kind of buzzing he could never associate with the Upside Down because this left him warm and fuzzy. He follows Mike.
–
“Holy shit you guys took forever.” Lucas groans from the driver's seat. Max was in the passenger seat leaving Mike and Will in the back seat. As if it couldn’t get any more awkward after their little moment that Will was critically overthinking about. “Sorry– it was my fault.. I was changing.” Will apologizes awkwardly as his hands find the nape of his neck, a nervous tick he ended up forming from the years of goosebumps and flashbacks.
Mike notices and grabs Will’s hand with ease like it’s something he always does. He puts Will’s down, his fingers still hanging onto Will’s. It was disgustingly sweet and caring to the point it aggravated Will because he knows Mike doesn’t mean it like that even when he so desperately wants it to mean more. It made him panic, Will glances at Max who’s already trying to hide her devilish smirk. Besides her all-knowing shit-eating grin, Will notices her makeup. It’s shimmery, and holographic glitter that varies in sizes paint her cheekbones. “Nice makeup Max. It's cute.” He compliments, smiling. Lucas mutters ‘Don’t hit on my girlfriend!’ lightly before Max shuts him up. “Thank you for complimenting me unlike others,” She glared at Lucas but before he could deny her accusations she started talking again. “Anyway, I have some glitter on me. D’you want some?” If she never mentioned glitter, you’d think she was offering some kind of substance.
Mike raised his eyebrows, as did Will. He thought about it, would he get bullied for wearing glitter? Yeah, probably. This is Hawkins, Indiana, a population of twenty-one thousand and a quarter of it being teenagers where everyone knew everybody. But this is probably his only time to live life to the fullest until he's on his way to college. So fuck it, why not wear some? “Yeah, sure.”
As Lucas looks back to put the car in reverse Max leans over the console to Will, who was sitting in the middle of the backseat. They begin their journey to Dustin's house as Max’s fingers pat the glittery paste to Will’s cheekbones. Just like her. Embarrassingly enough, it warms Will’s heart because he gets to be himself without judgment. Something younger Will would’ve killed for. He glances across the car interior and notices how this is just considered the norm now. It doesn’t stop the tears of joy and content that were brewing and it doesn’t stop the barbed wire feeling clawing at his throat either.
Will is still glancing around before he feels fingertips on his wrist, naturally, they were Mike’s. Will looks at Mike, this time they didn’t talk with words but instead with their eyes.
You okay?
Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?
Just making sure.
“There we go.” Max smiles. She squeals a little giggle before taping her finger full of glitter on Will’s nose. “Awh, look at my creation, Michael. Isn’t he just handsome?” Both Mike's and Wil’s eyes widened at her words. Will felt like the creature and Max was Dr. Frankenstein. Gently, Max squished Will’s cheeks and steered his head to look over at Mike, his face was tinted over with the same pink undertone he wore back in his bedroom. It caught Will off guard.
What Will would give to know what he was thinking.
“Uhm–” he cleared his throat “Yeah, sure.” He was feigning indifference when his face clearly told the opposite – he looked.. uncomfortable. Mike could tell Will knew so he turned away from Will and Max. His entire body was facing the window.
Will snapped his head to look at Max, he wasn’t angry at her. He was just shocked at what played out. Max couldn’t help but grin at what she caused. She looked like she got what she wanted; she clearly did but at both Will and Mike’s expense.
Before the three of them knew it, they were outside of Dustin's very 70’s mod-architectural house. Lucas was between honking and knocking on Dustin’s door – which to Max's dirty way of playing wingman, she and Lucas went to knock… leaving Mike and Will alone.
“Max– She’s not wrong.” his voice cut through the silence that was nipping at Will’s neck.
“What?”
“The glitter. It accentuates your face.” Mike whispers. “It’s pretty..”
Will’s heart stutters and tries to stop it before he can and before he speaks, Dustin barges in through the back passenger door. “Hey! Holy shit, Will– you look fucking ethereal.”
“Oh, thank you Dustin, but it's nothing really..” Will grins, staying humble and not letting his compliment get to his head, not because he didn’t believe it. He’s never felt more like himself, but selfishly enough he wanted to hear it from Mike only.
“No seriously dude. I won’t be surprised if guys walk up to you at the party.”
Will’s ears perked up when he could hear Mike's little scoff. It was so soft and subtle, that the person next to him could only hear. Will was the only one beside him.
“Okay, well then. I stole some of my mom’s vodka." He blabbed and everyone turned to Dustin, eyebrows raising and mutters of ‘I didn’t even know your mom drinks’ and 'how?’ echoed through the car. “Don’t ask when and how. Just be grateful I managed to.” He rolls his eyes. He mentioned pregaming. Will knew of it, but he never exactly did it himself. He never had the occasion to try it out. Thankfully Max took the steering wheel of the ship and grabbed the plastic bottle from Dustin. She took a swig before groaning. “Jesus fucking Christ I forgot how strong this shit is.” She shuddered out.
Max hands it to Will while Lucas is begging them not to spill it on the seats. “My dad will kill me if he finds out we were drinking.” As Lucas grips the steering wheel in an effort to ignore his anxiety; Max urges Will on but it wasn’t exactly pressure either. “Dude if he doesn’t wanna drink it, then quit egging him on.” Mike grimaced at Max. They start bickering like siblings who can’t share a toy; completely missing the fact that Will took a gigantic gulp.. They only notice when he starts gagging at the burning in his throat. “Jesus, Dustin what the hell!” he coughs out while Max cheers him on and shakes his shoulder with triumph.
“Oh my god, I think my stomach lining is disintegrating as I speak.”
“Look at what you did Max! Now he's probably gonna projectile vomit all over this damn car!” Mike groans.
“No! Will I swear to god, if you puke in this car, you’re getting kicked out!” Lucas yells.
“Oh, calm down Michael. He’s a capable eighteen-year-old, he chose to, no one pressured him.” Max retorts.
Will decided to ignore them, unconsciously pleased that Mike cares enough to worry even if it wasn’t needed at the moment. Maybe the alcohol is taking effect. He hands the plastic bottle back to Dustin, grinning and pushing the bottle to his mouth. “C’mon, I know you wanna.” Will giggles at Dustin. “Okay! Okay!” He giggles out in return and takes a drink from the bottle. Dustin’s face contorted just like the two others before him.
The bottle ultimately ends up in Mike’s lap and it stares at him, tempting him which is weird. He never considered himself a big drinker. Mike’s plan was teetering from being an asshole the entire way to and at the party, yet the other part of him wants to let loose and hang out with his friends even if they brushed off his amazingly epic and not-so-lame campaign for this. His mind is pulling him out of the moment, he knows but he can’t stop himself from drowning in it. That is until Will nudges his shoulder and flicks his eyes from Mike’s face and the water bottle in his lap. Just a sip. Please? It’s Will’s eyes that are filled with pleas that get him.
A little sip won’t hurt.. He’s immediately proven wrong the second the clear liquid landed on his tongue. It tasted like that one time Lucas sprayed perfume in his eyes back when the Starcourt mall wasn’t completely burnt to a crisp. When things were just a tad bit easier and he was able to blame his feelings on growing up. “Eugh! What the fuck Dustin! You could've stolen something lighter than this.”
“I’m sorry that’s all she had!”
The rest of the car ride is loud, between the unnecessary arguments between Mike and Max; Lucas begging them to shut the hell up all while some new synth song is playing on the radio and the bottle is being passed around.
“All I'm saying is that my idea of a good night could be better than this shit show–” “okay we’re here, everybody get the hell out.” Lucas cuts Mike off before he has the chance to complain more than he already has. Mike never grew out of the whiny tween phase.
–
As Lucas parks on the front lawn of Stacey's gargantuan building, she calls home, a loud Madonna song plays through the brick walls. Will could feel the bass shaking the entire lot before he stepped inside. “Great, they’re playing shitting music.” Mike scoffs.
“Says the one who adored The Butthole Surfers junior year.” Max snidely mentions. “What the fuck? I’ll have you know people with good music taste know how amazing The Butthole Surfers are.” Will could barely hear their argument because he was mesmerized by the sheer size of the house. Not to mention how every step he took felt like stepping on clouds, okay, that one was partly because he’s tipsy.
As soon as the party enters the house, they disperse. Lucas and Max made their way to the kitchen for drinks; Dustin detached from Mike and Will the second Stacey saw him. They both shouted ‘good luck!’ to him but doubt he even heard them over the bass. Now it was down to Mike and Will, who stood out like a pair of sore thumbs because this was not their kind of environment. After people-watching for a good fifteen minutes Mike speaks. “Wanna get drinks? The longer I stand here, practically sober, the more I’m thinking about killing myself.” Will laughs and nods. Mike subconsciously grabs his hand to lead him through the sea of people. It’s stuffy and crowded; the smell of sweaty bodies and cheap alcohol fills the room. The scene and scent make Will queasy, immediately feeling sticky and dirty but he can pull through, Mike is by his side.
This was the case until they made it to the dining room. The giant elongated wooden table held multiple coolers with beers, soda, and other various drinks. Mike cracked open both of their cans for each other, jokingly ‘checking if they're poisoned’ only to greedily steal big gulps from each can. Will scoffed but let it slide. “Wow, just say you wanted to get drunk.”
“Um, no! Just had to make sure my cleric wasn’t being poisoned.” Keyword. My. It was too natural, personal, and too flirty at the same time and Will’s tipsy brain couldn’t handle deciphering it so he let it slip, but it never stopped his cheeks from warming up at his words.
“Yeah, whatever,” Will says before taking a sip from the cheap beer that probably had the same flavor as what he imagined watered-down gasoline tasted like. “Tell me what your campaign was about– the one you wanted to play instead of being here.” Will teased Mike.
“Thank god you asked – okay so it starts with the core four stuck in this one dimension called–”
“Hey, sorry for bothering.” Okay, so some random guy is here and decided to cut Mike off. “I just came by to say your friend's makeup is cute, but maybe that's just the canvas and not the paint.” Mike cringed and grimaced at the guy before snorting so loudly. It was only clear that Will wasn’t thinking the same way because he elbowed Mike’s ribcage. It stung more than it should have.
“Thank you, that's too kind of you,” Will responded and Mike rolled his eyes. This guy who’s shorter than Mike, has a greasy mop of curls on his head thinks he can barge his way into a conversation and flirt with Will? Never in his eighteen years of living is Mike gonna let that slide.
“I’m Carlton.. And you are?”
“Will. Will Byers.” He gave one of those sweet smiles that had been used for Mike and Mike only; and Mike felt something brewing dirty and disgusting in his gut. He had to flee the scene before his buzzed brain did something outrageous.
—
Mike was on the other side of the room. Sitting in some luxury chair that was scooted off to the deepest depths of the room and watched like a creep as he downed his second beer. Yeah, he knew it was pathetic, in fact his own brain was picturing him as if it were an out-of-body experience. He could see himself watching Will and seeing the way he laughed and blushed at Carlton’s whispers.
I could act like that too if you let me.
Will deserves it after everything he’s been through. He remembers the times he spent the night at Will’s and at night after a nightmare, he would cry, sobbing at the fact he couldn’t get rid of him, how he won’t find love because that monster ruined him in ways he could never speak into existence. It always ripped Mike to shreds when he spoke like that. Will was far from ruined and Mike wished he could show him that but he’s exactly the best with words, or gift giving, even drawing.
Mike should objectively be happy that his best friend was finally getting the recognition he chased and yearned for over the years. Mike just didn’t think he’d be taken away so soon and so suddenly. His second can ran empty. He wanted to grab another but he was scrawny and much to his unlucky gene pool, it made him a lightweight and he was already feeling way more buzzed than when he first arrived.
This was supposed to be fun but now he’s sulking over the fact that his friend is getting more play than him. He could say the same thing about Dustin but Will is different in ways he could never find the right words to explain.
“Looks like you could use this.” A voice said loudly over music that it made him jump; they held out a shot glass right into his peripheral vision. With his staggering eyes, they meet Max’s face and vibrant red hair. His eyebrows raised at her rough but sudden friendliness. “Oh, hey. Thanks.” Mike stretched out every syllable that he could sound out. Ironically enough he wasted no time downing the shot. It slid down his throat too easily, maybe an alarming sign that he overdid it with the two measly beers.
“Yeah, no more for you.” She laughed. Max could see his lingering mopeyness and her eyes flicker to his field of vision. Over heads of hair, she catches that one outdated bowl cut next to a head of brown curls. “Oh my god, you guys are hopeless.”
“Shut up Maxine.”
“You brought out my full legal name, shiver me timbers,” Max scoffed. “You know – have you ever considered, pondered even as to why you get so jealous when it comes to people giving attention to Will?”
“Because he’s literally my friend? Plus it’s so obvious that that guy isn’t into him.” Mike muttered bitterly. He’s barely scratching the surface. He was trying to make himself believe it was only that. He and Max both know that. “He deserves someone who would listen to him and somebody who likes the same nerdy things as him and would do anything for him because their biggest priority should be– just seeing him happy.” He blabbered before he could recognize what he was saying. “Like what I’m doing by being here in this fucking ugly house with just as ugly people here and just as disgusting, horrendous music.”
Max stared, feeling awfully pleased with his answer. She definitely needed him to get drunk more often just so he could admit hidden secrets he, himself, didn't even know about. Aside from her satisfaction, she groaned at Mike's sulking, he looked like Eeyore with the way he slouched against the chair.
She sighed like she wasn’t actively losing her patience with him. “Listen, Michael. I know he was your friend first— but he’s been my best friend for a while now,” Mike’s face twisted in disgust. As if anyone could replace his spot in Will’s life. “Fix your damn face and listen. I know things Will is afraid to say to you due to the fear of being alone.”
“Y’know, during his time in California, he would write letters?”
“What?”
“Yeah. He wrote letters explaining everything— why you guys were distancing, how he felt out of place, even though things were good. How he was willing to sideline his feelings for you.” She sighed. “Will loves you the more he lets on and it's idiotic that you decide to realize a little too late, Michael. Especially when you two have been a constant source of each other's lives.”
His eyes flicker up like a kicked puppy and make Max grimace at his look. She often wonders why people gravitate to the lanky ass boy in front of her, he's nothing special in her eyes.
“Are you sure? You’re— you’re not fucking with me, right?”
“Friends don’t lie.”
Maybe Mike is imagining this, his eyes are glossy from the drinks in his system, which doesn't help. He feels helpless because now he knows how much he meant to Will and his own best friend couldn’t tell him and it tears his heart into shreds. Will couldn’t see him as a safe place before because Mike was too wrapped in a relationship with the girl he loved — yes, Mike loved El, but not in the same kind of love that ached when they weren’t around him and he was just starting to recognize that. The aching Will left in his soul when he wasn’t around Mike.
Up until her death, things weren’t good. The lack of time to see another made them change, growing into people who weren’t the same as the kids who fell in love. His heart still flamed for Eleven, that would forever remain, but he’s sure everyone else had felt the same about Eleven.
Mike and Eleven broke up three days before her passing.
He never told her he loved her.
For a while he regretted it. Why couldn’t you say you loved her? Did you even love her? There's something royally messed up about you. You killed your own girlfriend and now you’re barely wallowing in pain. You’re a psychopath, how is anyone supposed to love you? He dumbed himself down to be unlovable because he ruined everything. If he had just been normal and El decided to stay then he’d be happy.
He wasn’t and Eleven made her choice.
Soon Mike learned how to live with it; Hopper called it survivor's guilt. He lent a shoulder to Mike when things were fresh. For the most part, it surprised Mike considering how much Hop used to hate him, but he understood what it was like to lose someone as magnetic as El. Hopper helped, yet he still didn’t understand that Mike and El were just friends because he couldn’t commit and his feelings never developed beyond friendship.
—
Mike was near blacked out much to his demise. Right now he refuses to let his unresolved love for his best friend drown him. Tonight was supposed to be fun; full of life as they celebrate a new chapter. “Let’s dance”
“What— no, Mike!” She yelped as Mike stumbled and grabbed her hand, finding Lucas amongst the crowd. Mike pulled him in.
He absolutely had no rhythm when it came to dancing by himself; Max laughed and Lucas tried teaching him some moves that made him look like a limp doll on the makeshift dance floor. Between his light-hearted remarks and Max’s jokes made at his expense, he felt — happy? Almost content if he was smart enough to identify it. It was something he could get used to.
Then the majority of the alcohol was talking, the liquid courage giving him a dopamine rush that he hadn’t felt for months, years maybe — or at all. That was until he found Will with Carlton; too close for Mike’s comfort. Carl— whatever his fucking name was, is behind Will, hands on his hips while Will sways to The Human League’s Don’t You Want Me; it was ironic, like god himself was playing an inside joke that Mike had no part of.
Is it weird to say he felt bile rising in his throat by just watching his best friend dance with someone that wasn’t him? He freezes and swallows spit, his mouth watering and the dread fills him like he was about to projectile on everything.
It was like the corny movies Nancy would watch — the silly romcoms where the girl falls first and the guy falls too late; watching from afar as the girl moves on.
He still stands and stares like a fucking loser and it feels like the walls are closing in on him, his heart on the brink of shattering. He had to get out of here before he broke down in front of his entire school peers. Mike pushes through Max and Lucas, pushing people with blurred faces who cursed at him.
He didn’t mean to but he tripped over his own foot and accidentally shoulder checked Will. Mike didn’t notice but Will did.
At first, Will's heart dropped to his stomach, he thought it was some yuppie who pushed him — maybe quietly telling him to watch himself; hinting to keep that weird shit out of here. Carlton yells ‘what the hell dude!’ As he almost put both of them in danger if the person who pushed him was prejudiced against Will. He froze before checking who it was and Will noticed the haircut cut. Mike held his hand to his mouth and walked with ferocity that worried him. He paid no mind to Carlton as he shouted at Will because his main concern was Mike, that's how it was and how it’ll be.
Will chased behind Mike who is shrinking his height like he’s trying to be hidden and sneaky.
The bathroom door slammed shut as Mike went in. Will banged on the door. “Mike! Is everything okay? You look sick.” He shouted through the door.
Mike unlocked the door and yanked Will by his hand — Will couldn’t understand the sudden change in mood. He knew Mike wasn’t having fun at first but he noticed him on the dance floor because every time Will stepped into a new room he scanned. It didn't help that his eyes always managed to find Mike, and he looked relaxed.
He looked pale and greenish as he paced anxiously. Will frowned at the sight. Mike looked like he was holding the weight of the world on his shoulders.
“You can’t just do that, Will.”
“Do.. what?” Will’s brows furrowed.
“Dance with random guys! You of all people should know how unsafe that is.”
Will scoffed, rolling his eyes. He knew it could be perceived as unsafe, dangerous to be this open in public, but he was finally growing, filling out in his own ways and he didn’t need Mike watching his back constantly. “You're too drunk to make sense, Mike.”
Mike’s eyes snap to Will’s face, and they scan across. The way his eyebrows were tragically pointed together; lips tightened when he was losing his patience. “No, I’m not.” Mike denies and it's clear he is because he can't even stand still with the way he’s losing his balance — so he leans against the sink counter, staring at the sink bowl. “I just— I care for you and I want to look out for you. I know what it's like to be.. different.”
“Different?” Will scoffs. “You mean gay? Something you can’t even say?” He laughs and it’s cynical, mocking in Mike’s ears. “Don’t say you know what it’s like when the most you’ve been called is frog face.”
“You know that's not fair, Will!” Mike said. “That week when you— you went missing, it was me who got the remarks you didn’t get. I heard from everyone; my dad, Troy. ‘That’s what happens’ and I refused to believe them.” His voice shakes, reminding Will of the time he was possessed and Mike had to talk to him. “At the time it pissed me off because how dare they insult you when they didn't even try to get to know you like I did.. and—“ his breath shuddered. “Maybe it pissed me off too because maybe they knew something about me that I hadn’t realized yet.”
Will sighed, crossing his arms in a way to shield himself from Mike because Will knows how easy it is for Mike to tear through the walls he builds in every interaction. “You’re just saying this because you’re drunk as shit. This isn’t some big revelation you’re painting it out to be because if it was; you would’ve tried to figure it out sooner.” Will cringed at his own stupidity. He was downplaying Mike's own way of discovery because of the past.
It’s not my fault you don’t like girls. He hears it clearly in Mike’s voice. Maybe that moment that was forever engraved into Will’s mind was just an episode of self-projection? He knew what it was like to be pushed and shoved into the box of conformity that society had provided since the beginning of time.
“This is me trying, Will,” Mike's voice wavers and Will can already feel the walls crumbling. “I just— I don’t know how to articulate my thoughts. They just keep racing and racing. And it’s like I can’t keep up.”
“I just- I don’t know,” Mike whispers before turning around to look at Will who's next to the door, watching and waiting for Mike to say something. He looked angry and if people were here with them, they’d assume that — but Mike knows Will, he knows his expressions, and that one was made up of anger, disappointment, and just concern.
And it makes Mike angry with himself because he's wasting Will’s time by just fumbling his words. He could be partying, dancing, finding love but he’s here waiting for Mike like he always did. How is he supposed to say ‘I think I love you and I only found out when you danced with that fucker’ and ‘I want to kiss you but I know it’s not fair.’ Mike knows it's objectively that easy to say but it’s not when Will was the one he was saying it to. Will was sensitive and was bullied for it — which if you told Mike, was Will’s superpower. He was just that kind of person you can tell everything, even if it hurts him like now.
Mike knew he’d understand but it was still so hard.
“Goddamn it! I don't know how to say it.”
“Then don’t tell me with words.”
If Mike had to choose between fight or flight, he’d choose the secret third option and freeze. Will was teetering on a thin white line and he didn’t even know because it was all in Mike’s head and Mike wasn’t even sure how to say it or even spell it out with actions.
“I don’t want to ruin our friendship..” he whispered.
“If my coming out didn’t ruin our friendship then I doubt nothing else will.”
Mike just stares. His eyes glancing between Will’s hazel eyes — those round doe eyes he first noticed in kindergarten; just so kind and held childlike innocence. It often made Mike think of Bambi when he saw Will. Then his eyes went down a path of Will’s barely visible freckles; they only came out during the hot, glaring sun that sat above Hawkins during the sticky summer evenings; Then to his mole above his lip. It started showing during that awkward puberty phase when boys start filling out in their bodies, building more muscle they didn't even know they had or their jaw sharpening. He never noticed it with himself or boys in his grade at the time, but he always noticed it in Will. It would distract him to no end.
He bit down on his lips, Mike’s brain enduring a silent war whether or not he should just go for it — take back what hasn’t been his for months, years, or let alone at all. It was like the angel and devil were telling him to do it but the morality, the fear of what others think is holding him back; but why should he care? It's dumb. Mike knows that. The fear of knowing what others might think was never an insecurity of his when he was younger but when you grow, everything plays a part in your future and you have to make sure you do the right things that don’t diminish your future.
But he’s drunk, and his future seems so far away from this moment. The world is spinning around him; he can’t stop it. The muffled music is still finding a way to shake the walls. Will is staring. He looks so beautiful — and the glitter is shining under the warm lights to a point where Mike looks at it, it's blurring his eyesight. Mike thinks he might explode so he just— fuck it.
Mike walked over to Will, his hands taking a mind of their own and raising to touch Will’s soft cheeks, he could feel the stubble against his skin from where he shaved the night before. It’s played out in slow motion, Mike feels. His eyes are closed and he only knows he did it when he feels the softness of Will's lips on his. The pressure of the kiss is too gentle, soft. Experimenting.
Will pushes him off and Mike stumbles back. His eyes are wide, Will looks at Mike with disbelief and it scares Mike.
You ruined it. He's gonna leave and never speak to you again.
It’s too quiet between them. Mike looks down at his hands, the glitter scattered all over his shaking fingertips. He knows this is real because there’s evidence in his hands like he was caught red-handed at the crime scene.
Then Will’s warm hands are on Mike’s chin, pulling him into another kiss so quick Mike can barely register it. This time there's more pressure, and perseverance like Will was taking what’s his. Mike hums with surprise before trying to catch up with his best friend. Mike's hands flicker up to Will’s neck, mapping out the nape of his neck that was usually covered in hair or goosebumps, but this time neither are there and it’s Mike’s lanky fingers that are present this time. It’s awkward and messy, their noses bump into each other as they get into the groove but even that can’t cringe Mike out because he’s never felt like this before — the rush, the adrenaline of someone knocking, barging in; the feeling of finally getting what you want.
Mike's other lingering hand moves to his cheek like it was anchoring him to the real world. The kiss deepens as they both close their eyes, between minor huffs of breath and the messiness of dribbling spit from each of them — it feels right to Mike. Like a puzzle piece that he didn’t even know was missing and in the end, getting put into place.
Will gasps as he feels the tip of Mike's tongue asking for entry. It's all new to him, the most he’s gotten was a peck on the lips last summer from a guy when he went down into the city. It's all new territory and yet Will lets him in. Mike senses the innocence and newness in Will and it makes him chuckle against him, Will feels it reverberate through him.
“Shut up.” Will whispers against Mike’s wet lips before reconnecting. Mike pushes him against the door, he’s not sure how much longer he can keep up until he wants to do more.
“Hurry up! People are waiting to take a piss asshole!” A voice shouts before banging on the door with such intensity that it causes both of them to jump and pull away and they stare at each other. Smile cracking beneath their scared faces, and laughing soon after.
The two moved to the mirror with quietness, like kids who were sneaking around in the kitchen while the rest of the house was asleep. Both tried to fix themselves before doing the walk of shame as they left the bathroom.
He grabs Will’s hand like a silent promise to do this together. He unlocks the door and steps through. Will follows behind with a bitten back smile. Mike squeezes Will’s hand as they walk through the crowd of people.
I love you.
Will squeezes in return. I love you too.
The two find Dustin, Max, and Lucas on the dance floor still, limbs loose as they dance to the synth-pop song playing in the background. It’s bittersweet Will thinks. This will be one of the last times they’re all together before they go their separate ways to college.
“Well, what do we have here?” Max says as her fingers brush against Mike’s cheek. Seems like he forgot to wipe pieces of glitter from his face.
“Shut up, Max.”