Work Text:
The First Couple
The first couple meeting with Hank today for an MR meeting was Charles and Erik. Hank pinched the bridge of his nose, “Ororo, are you never going to approve my time off request?” Hank asked as politely as he could with Ororo grinning at him like the Cheshire cat, it made Hank want to roar in frustration at her. He knew she was finding it delectable in watching him suffer through it, it was unfortunately his own idea to start an HR department.
“Whatever do you mean, Hank? I have been busy trying to find a suitable replacement in general and someone qualified to take over while you are gone.” Ororo said with a sweet smile on her face, watching as Hank growled in a low volume as he angrily drank his coffee and got things collected for his meeting with Charles and Erik.
— —
Charles smiled mischievously over at Erik, “I have no idea what you are talking about my old friend,” he glanced back at Hank’s purpling face. Erik cleared his throat, “Wade had given me a sticker booklet after I had commented on his newest stickers.” Hank’s purple face got a deeper shade, “Said these ones were scratch and sniff and then well… You know,” Erik winks at Hank.
Hank sputtered, “That still doesn’t excuse you two from—”
“It fell Hank! Do you really think we’d be so crass as too…” Charles stopped and blushed, “As my dear partner is trying to say,” Erik picks up, “It fell and happened to land in Charles’ lap—” Erik looked like he wasn’t sure where he was going with it.
Hank raised an eyebrow angrily, “And so you… Thought it’d be a good idea to sniff the sticker while it was in Charles’ lap while in his office with the door unlocked?!” Hank could feel his blood pressure rising, “And you! Charles, you asked me to go into your office as you had something important to tell me.” Hank groans as he scrubbed at his face with one hand, wondering why he chose a Monday to do these meetings on.
The Second Couple
Hank sighed as he went and made himself another cup of coffee, needing the extra boost of caffeine in hopes of surviving the day. Hank regretted doing all five meetings in a day but Ororo had promised to approve his time off if he got this squared away. So Hank was trying to power through it by having Jean and Scott meet with him after Charles and Erik, hoping they’ll be a more rational couple.
— —
“I don’t know why we’re here, we weren’t taking part in this whole ‘sticker wars’ thing that’s going on with some of the other couples here.” Scott told Hank as he side eyed Jean, “Really, you should be talking to Wade Wilson and not us.”
Hank’s eyes narrowed, “It’s Wilson-Howlett, Mr. Summers or have you forgotten that they are married?” Jean scoffs and rolls her eyes, Hank turns his gaze onto her, “Do you have anything to add, Dr. Grey?”
Jean sighs, “Yeah, Dr. McCoy. Why are we always being pulled into these meetings?” She asked coldly, looking Hank in the eyes, she knows he’s long overdue for a vacation but she found this all to be ridiculous.
“Because Dr. Grey, you and Mr. Summers have been called into my office as you two were seen sticking similar stickers used by some of your coworkers. Leaving them stuck to people’s clothing or their personal belongings, so why is that?” Hank asks, looking between the two as he wanted to find out why these stickers were so important to everyone suddenly.
The Third Couple
“Rogue, I expected a lot better from you,” Hank told Rogue sadly as he looked at her from over his glasses, having the incident report in his hands. “Why have you joined in on this sticker nonsense?” Hank asks as he looks at Rogue, Gambit clears his throat, Hank sighs and rolls his eyes.
“I’m sure you had your part in this, Remy and since I didn’t have any hand in raising you, I have nothing to base this on, other than normal behavior?” Hank asked, looking Gambit over and knowing the man hated being called anything else. Rogue snorted next to Gambit as she tried to play it off, Hank held in his own laugh.
Hank honestly, just wanted this whole sticker nonsense to end as the younger students were now wondering why they weren’t allowed to have them at the mansion.
The Fourth Couple
Laura groans as she sits down in Hank’s office, holding onto her girlfriend Jubilee's hand as she looks around Hank’s MR office. The office is well decorated and smells like Hank spends a lot of his time inside of these walls, not that she hasn’t seen him a few times and usually with Jubilee. Jubilee’s friendship with Logan was almost as infamous as Wade’s and Erik’s, Logan tended to turn into a kid with Jubilee there. Between the two of them, they’ve caused their fair share of chaos and at the mansion, where Wade and Erik are living, that is saying something.
“Look, it isn’t my fault—” Laura starts wanting Hank to know, she really did try to resist joining in on the sticker game. Hank just stares at her unimpressed, Laura sighs and rummages through her pockets until she finds the little sticker books that Wade had given to her and Jubilee. Jubilee does the same thing, handing over her own matching set as well, smiling innocently.
Hank rolls his eyes, “Get to class, ladies,” he said in a dismissal tone. He had to keep eyes on those two, still so young and ready to help prank the world with Wade and Erik. Hank groaned again, rubbing his face as he considered just outright quitting his job.
The Fifth Couple
Hank sighs as he opens a new bottle of Charles’ costly liquor, not bothering to read the label as he pours himself a healthy full glass of it. Picking up the cup and throwing back the drink like it was nothing, not even choking as he swallowed it down. Hank pours himself another full glass and after he drinks it quickly, he finally notices Wade staring at him from his slightly opened office door. Groaning, Hank puts the liquor away, knowing they’d be able to smell it on his breath anyway.
“Was our meeting rescheduled?” Wade asked looking nervously, Hank shook his head and made a motion for Wade to come in, Logan trailing behind him. “No, fortunately, you are my last meeting for the day,” Hank says with relief, feeling like he spent all day in his office with Ororo’s taunting smile dropping him off his lunch.
Hank takes a deep breath in and releases it slowly as he watches Wade and Logan sit down in front of his desk. “Now, tell me about this whole sticker thing and why I keep finding you and everyone else putting them on each other and things.”
Wade looks sheepishly at Hank, “Do you really want to know?” Hank groans and shakes his head, “Can you please just stop it with the stickers?” Hank begs, hoping that one of them will take pity on his greying fur.
“Yeah, big blue, we can stop,” Wade says sincerely as he looks at Hank’s exhausted face. Wade figured he’d probably need to lay off the sticker usage as it was driving his third favorite X-Men into his own cups and he had already taken one animalistic mutant home. Wade wasn’t willing to risk trying to bring Hank home, just for Logan to not be interested in the sexy blue mutant.