Work Text:
Logan feels hurt. Ignored. Discarded.
He knows the others mean nothing of it, but it’s not always intention that matters. He knows this better than anyone. However, what he doesn’t know is how to fix this problem.
“After you've decompressed and gained better control of your emotions, you might set aside time to talk with the person who hurt you.”
That’s what betterhelp.com says. That’s what every mental health website he’s checked say.
It makes sense.
It’s logical.
But sometimes, in situations like these, Logan doesn’t want to be logical.
No matter where he searches for answers, it always leads to confrontation. And he can’t do that. On paper it seems simple, fix the miscommunication, no one gets hurt and everyone feels better. Confessing you're in love happens to be as hard in practice as confessing you're hurt. People always talk about how they’re treated differently after they confront the problem but no one talks about how they’re treated differently.
He doesn’t know what would feel worse, the others ignoring his complaints or if they actually tried putting effort into making things up.
He doesn’t want to be treated differently.
He doesn’t want Patton to fuss over and infantilize him. To have him feel guilty like he owes him something.
He doesn’t want Roman to pity him, to walk around eggshells whenever he’s talking. To have to hold back teasing remarks and nicknames because he doesn’t know what’ll set him off.
He doesn’t want Virgil to look at him like he tends to do when he’s concerned. Like he's just searching for any hint of weakness. Like a vulture.
For once, Logan just wishes. He looks upon the stars and begs. He yearns. He yearns for a universe where the sides and Thomas pay attention to him as easily as they discarded him in this one. For a universe where they don't need to be reminded that he exists, has things to say, and despite all the times he denies it, has feelings.
He wants to be seen.
Seen effortlessly.
But logically, that’ll never work. If he wants change to happen he needs to start it.
Also logically, the possible cons weigh out the one possible pro. And that’s one reason enough to not try.