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“What use is a god who couldn't even protect the one thing that gave him purpose?”
That was the question Illumina had asked himself for decades - ever since he had failed to protect his worshippers.
The deity of light had a relatively large following, with those who believed coming to him for guidance, to pray, and for messages to pass on. They thought he would protect them; he did too.
But one day, a group of rebels enforced a massacre on his believers for a reason he still doesn't know. He tried to shield them, but even gods can be outnumbered. Thousands died, and the few who survived lost all faith.
His entire following gone in a day, just like that.
Illumina wasn't injured in the slaughter, but the emotional wounds still stung as if it had happened just yesterday.
“I'm sorry.”
Even now, he had yet to find another purpose. He took it for granted when he had it, but now?
He wanted it more than anything. He's nothing without it, like a quill without ink.
All of his siblings had theirs.
Firebrand ruled over the Crossroads and his family.
Windforce had her son, who she hoped would become a great warrior one day.
Icedagger had his snow, ice and winter festivals.
Venomshank had Sword; he didn't mind what his son grew up to be, he would always love him.
Darkheart loved to induce mischief and chaos. Illumina didn't see the point or amusement that came with such knavery. He never had.
And Ghostwalker reaped souls, passing them on to the other side. He always seemed to carry them with such care. Illumina hoped that he would handle his with the same care.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Illumina sat at his wooden desk, fountain pen shaking in his hand as he stared at the paper in front of him. Thoughts raced through his skull - how could he say goodbye? He didn't think he should go without explaining why he did. But the words wouldn't come out.
Setting the pen down, he took a deep breath, tears beginning to sting in his eyes. Just thinking about his departure made him emotional. That doesn't matter, though. He doesn't have time to second-guess himself.
If he could say one final thing to his siblings, what would he say? Slowly, he picked the pen up again and began writing.
~~~~~
Meanwhile, Firebrand was downstairs in the kitchen of the SFOTH's shared mansion. He had noticed how isolated Illumina had been recently, and he wanted to cheer him up. This wasn't an easy task, Illumina wasn't very in touch with emotions, but he aimed to make him crack even the tiniest smile.
The soft clink of metal against metal rang through the air as he whisked the batter. Ingredients were spread out on the table, flour dusting a few of the bags and containers. He knew his stoic brother had a sweet tooth - no matter how much he denied it - so he was making cupcakes.
“I… think that's mixed enough,” he muttered to himself as he held the whisk up and watched the mixture plop back into the bowl. After placing the bowl down on the countertop, Firebrand turned around and opened the cupboard above the coffee tin.
“Where did I put them..?” Too focused on finding the paper cupcake cases, he didn't notice the figure looming behind the doorframe.
They chuckled lowly, grin stretching across their face. Hovering above the air, they began to stealthily creep towards the towering deity, their footsteps silent. No matter how many times they did this, it always caught him by surprise.
Firebrand moved a few bottles of flavouring aside, finally spotting the box of cases. “Ah! There they are,” he said, reaching out for them. He carefully pulled them out, being careful not to knock anything over.
“Hello,” a voice called out in a playful, almost teasing tone. The poor deity nearly jumped out of his skin, instinctively pulling into himself slightly, a startled yelp escaping him. Darkheart immediately burst into cackles, clutching the rim of his hat. After realising he had been jumpscared by him again, Firebrand let out a faint huff of laughter. “Very funny, Darkheart.”
The aforementioned took a few moments to catch his breath, the crackling making his stomach hurt slightly. “We get you every time! You never see it coming!” he exclaimed, shoulders still shaking slightly. The king rolled his eyes affectionately.
Darkheart sat down near the edge of the counter, crossing one of his legs over the other. "Whatcha doing?” he asked, voice carrying the same playful tone from earlier.
“Illumina seems to be feeling down as of lately,” he began to explain, laying out the paper cases in the pan. “So, to try and cheer him up, I've decided to bake cupcakes.”
“Aww, how sweet!” Darkheart put two hands over his heart, tilting his head slightly. It was hard to tell if he was being genuine or just joking around. “Save some for us, okay?” he said, hopping down from his seat and walking out of the kitchen.
~~~~~
Illumina put his fountain pen back in its lilac, ceramic holder.
There. The note's finished.
Staring at it, his eyes skimmed over the words. Yes. This was… enough. Enough to let them know why he wanted to leave.
The faint yet shrill screech of his chair echoed quietly in the room as he stood up. He sat down on the ivory-white floor and folded his hands in his lap. Closing his eyes, he began to reflect on the brightest moments - to bring him some final slivers of happiness.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young inphernal walking up to his shrine, offering a serving of a local dish his grandfather had made. The fact someone had thought to offer him a homemade dish made him smile.
Icedagger giving him a small figure of a swan that he had carved out of ice. It was both intriguing and amusing how it had yet to melt.
The fireworks and sparklers last New Year's Day. He didn't quite know why, but the light of the colourful explosions in the sky and the crackling of the sparkler made him feel somewhat… peaceful.
Sitting in silence under that one birch tree, feeling the wind on his face and hearing the faint rustle of the leaves above his head.
Hm. Funny how those memories are redundant now, isn't it?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He opened his eyes, gaze drifting towards the sharpening block placed on top of the chest of drawers near the window. Standing up, he summoned his gear. The lavender sword materialised in his hand almost instantly, light swirling into the shape of the familiar weapon.
He walked over to the drawers, then picked up the battered and scratched block. Placing the blade on top of the gritty surface, his grip tightened on the handle. The grating sound of metal again rock made him wince ever so slightly, but he kept going. It had to be as sharp as possible.
After he was satisfied, he put the stone back where it had been, examining his sword. After grabbing his goodbye note, he placed it down on the chair. With a solemn sigh, he raised his gear high, tilting it so that the tip poked his ribcage. He muttered his last words.
“Farewell… I'm sorry.”
Illumina plunged the sword into his heart, then ripped the blade from his chest. Blood spilled out like a burst dam, staining his usually pristine tunic a sickly shade of crimson. He collapsed onto the mattress, vision quickly fading to black.
~~~~~
DING!
After slipping on a pair of oven mitts, Firebrand opened the oven door. The sweet scent of vanilla drifted through the air as he carefully took the cupcakes out of the oven. He set them down on the counter in front of him. “Hopefully these will cheer him up.” he murmured, taking the mitts off and putting them on the counter.
Slowly, he began taking the cakes out of the tray and placing them on the cooling rack, being careful not to accidentally smush any.
As he waited for them to cool, he started making the buttercream icing. He chopped up the butter into small pieces, then beat it together until it was soft. Pouring it in slowly so he wouldn't add too much, he added half of the icing sugar and beat the mixture again until it was smooth.
Holding the orange firmly in his hand, he rubbed it against a grater until he was pleased with the amount of zest he had. In a swift, clean motion, he then sliced the orange in half. He squeezed the juice out of both pieces before putting in the zest and stirred the icing until it looked smooth and creamy.
After the cupcakes had cooled, he smeared the orange-flavoured icing onto them with a rubber spatula. Then, he put the batter-covered equipment in the sink to wash later.
Firebrand picked up a cupcake and took a small bite. They didn't taste that bad at all. That's good. He finished the cupcake then picked up another one and began heading to Illumina's room.
~~~~~
Firebrand reached his brother's door and knocked.
No answer.
He knocked again.
Nothing.
“Illumina…?” he called out, voice carrying slight worry. It was at that moment which he caught the faintest whiff of an unmistakable metallic scent…
…Blood. And a lot of it.
“Illumina?!”
His hand wrapped around the doorknob, turning it hastily. It rattled uselessly. The door was locked.
“Illumina, please open the door.”
Still nothing.
What could he do? Along with Illumina, he was one of the only ones in the house. His siblings were all out. Hell, Darkheart had only left ten minutes ago.
He put the cupcake down on a windowsill nearby, desperately trying to think of how to get in.
Firebrand threw off one of his gloves and pressed his hand against the door - he'd have to try and unlock it from the inside. The wood sizzled until his hand poked in from the other side. He felt around, trying to find the lock, twisting it open when he did.
CLICK!
After quickly putting his gloves back on, he swung the door open.
…Oh.
Oh.
OH.
“ILLUMINA!!” he screamed, rushing towards the limp body on the mattress. An arm dangled stiffly off the side, holding his signature lavender sword. Blood dripped from the tip of the blade. A gaping hole was present on his chest.
Firebrand fumbled to find any signs of life; a weak pulse, laboured breathing, twitching, anything. But he found nothing. “No… no…” His voice wobbled, tears already blurring his vision. It can't be, surely…
Can it?
“Illumina… please…” he begged to the corpse. “This isn't funny…” He grabbed his brother by the shoulders, shaking him. Nothing. Firebrand stepped back as the realization hit him.
…Illumina had taken his own life.
Slowly but surely, tears began to pour down the king's face, dripping onto his burgundy suit as his breath quickened. Why? Why did he do it? Why didn't he ask for help?
Firebrand couldn't help but blame himself. He was supposed to be there for his family. He was supposed to help them. Maybe Illumina had tried to show that he was struggling, and he was just too ignorant to notice.
He felt like he had failed. One of his siblings had come to make one of the worst decisions possible.
He stared at the body lying like a ragdoll on the bed, feeling as if he was frozen in place. All kinds of thoughts raced in his skull, not one of them positive. But one of them was louder than the rest.
“I'm sorry.”
Firebrand slowly wrapped his arms around his dead sibling, burying his face in his shoulder. Maybe if he gaslit himself enough, he could feel Illumina weakly return the embrace.
But of course, that wouldn't happen.
Quiet sobs soon began to make his towering frame tremble, his wings curling around himself. He muttered apologies despite knowing they wouldn't be heard.
“I'm sorry, Illumina…”
“I'm so, so sorry…”
~~~~~~~~~~<[END]>~~~~~~~~~~