Work Text:
“UNO is simple,” Lloyd says, placing the deck on the table. “You match the color or the number. No cheating. No custom rules.”
Kai cracks his knuckles. “I already have three.”
“You do not get custom rules,” Nya says.
Jay is aggressively shuffling. “Statistically, I’m going to win.”
Zane is reading the back of the box. “This game appears to be designed to damage interpersonal relationships.”
Cole is already eating chips. “Is there a food penalty?”
“No,” Lloyd says.
“There should be,” Cole says.
They deal.
Kai immediately slaps down a Draw Two.
“Yes,” he says. “Perfect.”
“It’s the first turn,” Lloyd says.
“And already the best one.”
Jay retaliates with a Reverse.
“HA,” Jay says. “Now it’s my turn again.”
“That’s not how Reverse works with this many players,” Nya says.
“Agree to disagree.”
Zane clears his throat. “Nya is correct.”
Jay slumps. “Wow. Betrayed by math.”
Cole forgets it’s his turn.
Twice.
“Cole,” Lloyd says gently, “you have to play a card.”
Cole looks down. “Oh. I thought we were just holding these.”
Kai stacks Draw Two cards.
Nya stares at him. “We’re not stacking.”
Kai stares back. “We are now.”
Jay gasps. “YES. CHAOS RULES.”
Lloyd grips the table. “There are no chaos rules.”
Zane flips the rulebook around. “Officially, stacking is not permitted.”
Kai points at Zane. “I reject that reality.”
Cole accidentally wins a round.
No one knows how.
He blinks at his empty hand. “Wait. I won?”
Everyone stares.
Kai squints. “No you didn’t.”
Cole looks around. “I think I did.”
Zane nods. “Cole has achieved victory.”
Cole cheers. “I AM THE UNO KING.”
They ignore him and keep playing.
Lloyd reaches UNO.
He takes a deep breath.
He raises one finger.
“UNO—”
Jay screams. “UNO!”
Kai yells, “TOO SLOW.”
Nya slams the deck. “DRAW TWO.”
Lloyd looks betrayed. “You all heard me inhale.”
“That hesitation cost you everything,” Kai says.
Lloyd draws two cards and contemplates the void.
The final round is brutal.
Cards fly.
Someone throws a Reverse like a weapon.
Kai is yelling.
Jay is narrating.
Nya is terrifyingly focused.
Zane is calm.
Cole is eating again.
Kai plays his last card.
“UNO.”
Nya immediately slaps a Wild on the table.
“That’s not how UNO works,” Lloyd says weakly.
“It is if I say it confidently,” Nya says.
They argue.
The argument lasts longer than the game.
Wu appears.
Again.
He surveys the scene: cards everywhere, Lloyd on the verge of tears, Kai holding a Draw Four like a trophy.
“Ah,” Wu says. “UNO.”
“Yes,” Lloyd says desperately. “Sensei. Please. Help.”
Wu smiles. “There are no winners in UNO.”
He leaves.
The deck bursts into flames.
No one admits who did it. (Probably Kai though)