Work Text:
On very rare occasions, Eva can be brave enough to lose control…in the good way. Sure her mom appeared as part of their agreement that they must have at least one holiday together if Eva wants to live the lavish and pampered life of a nepo baby. Tonight, on her first birthday at her new house, joined by old friends and new, she gets to have fun no matter who complains about it.
December 1st had long since ended and while a couple of neighbors had come to complain the night was perfect. There was just something missing.
And that something had just knocked on the door.
“You got me a stripper!” Eva is so excited about it she hugs her mother, the woman who procured said entertainment having her daughter’s exact taste.
“Only the best one for my baby, go on, I even paid him a little extra to come in a police car.” Isabel giggles and pushes her to open the door and receive her gift.
Brown eyes stare at blue ones, Eva’s lack of inhibitions stopping her from seeing what truly was before her leading her to believe this was Sheriff Sexxxy, whom her mom thought she had hired. It was an easy equation with two answers; too bad she chose the wrong answer.
“Hi, I’m Officer O’Neil and I’m here about a noise complaint.” The cop is perfectly serious, very cute and bundled up in his winter jacket and brandishing his very real looking badge.
The witch is too excited about having this very hot, tall gringo cop that she beats him to his line as she pulls him into the house awaiting all the drunk party people who wanted to see the sexiest stripper the town could offer, “And get the party started!”
“There’s been a mistake, Miss. I’m---” the cop begins to retreat and respectfully keep away from the drunk horny birthday girl.
“You’re wearing too much clothes, Sheriff Sexy!” no one will remember who said it only that they descended on him like piranhas and the birthday girl, in a moment of complete idiocy, took the gun from his holster.
“Don’t touch that, it’s a ---” despite his larger size and training, Officer O’Neil is too late to stop Eva Riley from firing said gun.
“You’re a real cop.” The witch immediately sobers at the realization and the reminder that she’s here on a visa, and at least one person here did not have legal papers yet, as she handed him back his gun.
“Yeah.” He pursed his lips and nodded as he re-buckled his belt and zipped his jacket back up.
“I am so sorry, uh, my mom said she hired a stripper in a cop costume and we thought you were---“ she is so mortified by the ordeal she cannot finish speaking and stands like a deer in the headlights staring at his very blue eyes.
“It’s fine. Thanks for the compliment, though. So, I’ll let you off with a verbal warning since it’s the first complaint and if you keep it down for the rest of the night it won’t go beyond that.” he speaks politely and she nods distracted by how normal he seems and good looking and usually cops are not as understanding as him --- and if they are its because they are pigs wanting a bribe.
He seems like a good cop? As rare as they are these days.
“I will, the party was ending already.” It wasn’t but she’d rather not risk it and she is pretty sure firing a cop’s gun is crime. Eva has a great night and it has to end early because of laws.
“What about the gun thing?” Chrissy asks and the birthday girl shoves her away hoping he didn’t catch that. Besides if anyone’s making a move on the cute cop, it’s going to be Eva.
“Consider my silence a birthday gift of sorts.” Officer Dreamboat chuckles at her antics and leans in to whisper while she tries not to giggle like a teenager, “Besides, my shift is almost over, and I’d rather not deal with the paperwork.”
“Since the party’s over and you are really doing me a favor, would you like a slice of cake…as thanks?” God, she feels giddy, nauseous and giddy like a teenager asking out the star of the futbol team. Not that Eva ever had that problem, she had confidence up to her elbows…except when things don’t go according to plan, or she miscalculates, but other than that, nothing can bring her down.
She wants to see him again. As out of character it would be for her to get with a cop, Eva wants to see him again. He better say yes before the alcohol makes her vomit on his very clean uniform.
“Maybe later, I’d rather not share the cake with anyone else at the station.” He smiles and gestures to the radio she hadn’t even heard with how distracted she is by Officer J. O’Neil, his subtle flirting and she feels like swooning at the sight of dimples with how gone she is at the moment. She’s never been like this, not since she was fifteen and falling for the hottest girl at her school.
Her tall, white as snow yanqui had said yes and she’s not even sure what he said next as he left and the witch stood there struck dumb in her doorway. The police car is barely out of view when the birthday girl proceeds to end the party and kicks everyone out of her house so she could be alone with Officer Dreamboat when he comes back in like half an hour.
She saves a large slice of cake while trying to keep herself sober enough to take a chance with her hot cop. The night had been great, but nothing would make it better than hooking up with the man who was literally sent giftwrapped at her door. The witch does her best to be rid of everyone, lying and saying they’d be arrested if they didn’t leave and even locking the door behind thinking they’d all had left.
Twenty-six minutes later and Officer Dreamboat appears in a modest hoodie over a red shirt and jeans. He had changed out of his uniform and come all the way here for cake.
“I didn’t want to make your neighbors think you got into trouble tonight.” He says and Eva realizes she was still too drunk to think of anything sexy to say in order to invite him in.
“Well, don’t be a stranger, Officer Dreamboat, sorry, Officer O’Neil, come in. I forgot your cake in the kitchen.” The witch is still drunk enough that she ends up calling him by the nickname she christened him with in the minutes he gave her the warning earlier.
“Good, ‘cause I really wanted to do this.” the tall man effortlessly takes her face into his hands and kisses her stupid. Stupider than she already is.
The first thing she does when they break apart is ask him what the J in his name tag stood for.
“Jack, but I think I prefer Officer Dreamboat.” Jack O’Neil, her dear Officer Dreamboat, takes it in stride and kissed her again as they forgot about the cake and crashed onto her couch instead. “Now, how drunk are you, birthday girl?”
Other men likely wouldn’t have asked if she was sober enough to consent, some of her exes never did, but wherever this man came from, they seemed to specialize in the lost art of gentlemen.
“Sober enough to remember you tomorrow.” Eva answered and proved her words by tearing off his clothes layer by unnecessary layer.
They have cake and coffee for breakfast, Jack fakes a car emergency to stay longer and against her will, adds himself as Officer Dreamboat on her contact list.
Sheriff Sexxxy never came having gotten the address wrong, but the stripper proved to be unneeded when a real cop went above and beyond to make this the best fucking birthday Eva has ever had.
