Chapter Text
It had been four years since the Rumbling ended. Four years since Lily had lost everything…and four years since she had last seen him. Jean Kirstein. The two were never close. In fact, they never had a proper conversation together. Yet, she admired him deeply. But Lily knew that she never stood a chance. He was always preoccupied with something else…whether it was with the girl of his dreams or the death of his comrades.
Lily had always thought Jean remarkable. It showed in the way he fought—reckless at times but never careless—and in the way he stood by his comrades. Lily was excellent too. She was a curious girl, someone who loved to explore. She often relished in nature and back when the titans roamed, she would have a few study sessions with Hange.
Eight Years Ago
“You know I’ve always wondered…what if…the titans aren’t what we think they are?” Lily pondered as Hange looked at her with raised eyebrows, her spectacles just about to slide down her nose bridge only for her to put it back into place.
“Hmm…what makes you say that?” Hange asks.
“Well…I mean…with the way they look…what if they…were once human?”
“That’s an interesting theory you have…well, we don’t know that for sure—not with the current information we have. There’s still much to study about them. The way they think, the way react…” Hange counts with her fingers the endless possible researches they both could pull off. Hange turns to Lily,
“You know…it’s kind of a bummer you decided to join the MP. With your knowledge and research abilities, who knows what more information we could get from the titans!” Lily blushes at her comment.
“Hange-san, you flatter me too much…as much as I do love learning…I’m not a fighter. I think I’d drag everyone down if I joined the Scout Regiment.” Lily sighs before continuing, “besides…I’m not really interested in the natural sciences. I’m more of a social sciences kind of person.”
Hange hums in agreement, “yeah…I do see that within you. Still, I think your presence would’ve been nice.” Lily smiles. If she joined, oh how wonderful the friendships she could’ve formed. She could’ve gotten to know…Eren, the first Titan shifter known to man. Mikasa…the fighting machine. Jean…where could Lily even begin with him.
Four years ago
“Dead? What do you mean Commander Hange is dead?” Lily couldn’t even begin to fathom the words that came out of Hitch’s mouth.
“That’s what it says in Annie’s letter…” Hitch said grimly, avoiding the gaze of Lily.
“No…no…that can’t be—she wouldn’t.” Lily slides her hand through her hair in disbelief. Lily covered her mouth as her vision blurred. Hange was the one person who believed in her. That she could do great things even when Lily saw herself to be weak.
She lost everyone. Her parents…her home and now…her mentor.
“How much more will we lose, Hitch? How many more…?” Lily’s voice shook as she spoke. Hitch was never one to comfort people. So when her words failed to leave her mouth, she could only approach Lily and comfort her with a warm embrace.
Present
The war is over. Paradis had been rebuilt.
“Truly, Lily…I can’t thank you enough. Thanks to you, Paradis has been doing an awful lot better than before. Especially with the justice system we had here…I’m so grateful to have someone like you amongst my council.”
“It’s an honor for me, your majesty, to be able to serve you.” Historia smiles as she watches her daughter, Ymir run across the open field of her countryside residence.
“It’s such a shame we never met during my time with the scouts. You were MP, right?”
“Yes, your majesty.”
“With your personality, I think you would’ve gotten along with the rest of them.” Then, her eyes brighten up. “That reminds me,” she continues “they’re returning to Paradis tomorrow. I’ve yet to introduce them to you. Armin has been dying to meet you since he read your book on Political Reformation.”
Lily blushes at Historia’s comment as she scratches her nape. “Oh…it’s…just an issue I wanted to address…I never thought my words would be given notice in the first place, considering…everything.”
“But what you wrote is exactly what the world needs to hear. Funny isn’t it? Paradis turned out to be a lot smaller than we once believed?”
Lily nodded in agreement. Lily was never particularly good at conversing with others but she had been slowly trying to change her habits considering she had been invited to teach several lectures across Paradis over the past four years.
Lily’s way back to her house was a familiar routine that she never failed to follow. After the Rumbling, she sought to find peace in her own ways. She would pass by the small cafe nearby and have a cup of warm honey coffee accompanied by a blueberry danish before heading on over to the train station.
“The usual? Honey coffee and blueberry danish?” The lady at the counter asked.
“Actually…I’m a bit hungry. Is your French omelette back on sale, Mrs.Kirstein?” She instantly lights up at Lily’s request.
“Why yes! Would you like to pair it with peach tea? It’s a nice combination.”
“I’d love that!” As Lily handed over her payment, she heads over to her usual one chair spot right next to the window. There, she is able to have a good view of the streets. Lily had discovered Mrs.Kirstein’s little cafe as she was looking to try new restaurants.
Lily had grown fond of stopping by Mrs.Kirstein’s café after work. The routine comforted her. It was something that took her mind away from the stress that came with her job as advisor to the Queen. Lily often brought a book with her to read but this time, she brought her sketchbook. She was the only customer by this hour, so Lily enjoyed the quiet and took her time outlining the view of the streets from her window in sketchbook.
“Lily…may I disturb you for a moment?”
“Oh you’re not disturbing me at all! What is it, Mrs.Kirstein?” Lily closes her sketchbook.
“Have you happened to hear word of when Jean will return? It’s just that…it’s been a few months since his last letter and I’m just a bit worried.”
“Oh…I believe her majesty hasn’t informed you yet but they are returning tomorrow.“ Lily could see her face instantly brighten up with excitement and relief.
“That’s wonderful! Oh I can’t wait to have jeanbo—“ she pauses. “I mean…I can’t wait for Jean to come home.” You smile at her words.
“I’m sure he’s just as excited to come home to Paradis and you, Mrs.Kirstein.”
Lily takes a bite of her omelette.
“Did you know him, by any chance?” She asks. Lily shakes her head, “not personally…I heard of him mostly during my cadet days and he and I graduated from different districts. He ended up joining the scouts and I ended up joining the MP. So we never really crossed paths.” Lily picks up her glass to take a sip.
“I see…what a shame. You and Jean would’ve definitely gotten along.” Lily smiles thinly.
“Well…I will be meeting him along with the others tomorrow on behalf of the Queen. I hear Commander Armin wishes to discuss a few matters regarding my works.”
““I’ve heard quite a bit about your writings. I’ve always wanted to read them, though I must admit…some of it goes right over my head.” She chuckled.
“It wasn’t easy to understand for me either but I guess that’s the essence of learning along the way.”
“My…what a wise one you are. I would adore having a daughter in law like you.”
Lily chokes on her drink making Mrs.Kirstein burst into laughter. “I’m just kidding, dear! But I do think you are ahead of our times—especially for us women.” She smiles grimly making Lily tilt her head down in response.
Lily knew all too well what Mrs.Kirstein meant. After getting to know a bit more about Mrs.Kirschtein, Lily discovered that she too, had dreams that were never pursued after she had Jean. She never blamed it on him, of course. Still, had she never gotten married and instead, stayed to pursue her dreams, would things have been better for her.
“Do you regret the life you have right now, Mrs.Kirstein?” Lily asks. Mrs.Kirstein smiles before looking out the window as she speaks, “I’ve always wanted to travel the word—to explore new things much like you. But as you know, Jean’s grandparents were on the more—traditional side. They believed a woman’s place is right next to her husband. So, out of obligation—fear, perhaps…I followed what they expected of me.” Lily listened intently to every word she spoke. “My life,” Mrs. Kirstein continued, “is far from the one I once imagined. If I could go back…I probably would’ve rebelled and left on my own.” she chuckles at the thought “but I also don’t regret the life I have right now. This cruel world, in the midst of something so chaotic, gave me one thing so special to me.”
“And what is that?” Lily asked,
“My son.”