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There’s no light coming in through the window when I wake up, telling me one thing; it is still very late at night.
Subconsciously I reach out to pull Katniss closer to me, hoping her warm embrace will help lull me back to sleep, but when my hand finds nothing but discarded sheets it’s made clear why I woke up in the first place.
I don’t know what it is but whenever Katniss isn’t close to me in sleep my body somehow knows, waking me up soon after she has left the bed for whatever reason she has, or in the event we’re away from each other entirely I struggle to fall asleep altogether.
Finding empty sheets in place of where I last saw Katniss Is something that always brings me some stress, even when I know most likely where she’ll be; right now however it’s barely past midnight and I find no sign of her, heightening my fear to the point I can feel myself slipping into parts of myself I hate going to.
“Katniss” I test softly, first looking towards the bathroom where I think I’m most likely to find her; nothing.
Quickly sitting up I reattach my leg that sits right next to our bed, more than second nature at this point, and stand up.
I first go to properly check the bathroom connected to our bedroom, but when I find no sign of her I quickly move onto the other bedrooms of our house.
Knowing Katniss she could really be anywhere for many reasons, knowing this I make sure to check all of the small hiding places she’s accumulated over the years, and any other places I think she could squeeze herself into along the way, but I find nothing.
This leads me to believe she’s downstairs. She could have left for the woods but I doubt it at this time of day, unless something insanely bad has happened, which does cause my heart rate to speed up at the thought, but I have to remind myself to stay calm.
There isn’t as many places she could be down here, other than the usual shared living spaces, but anything could be possible.
With that I begin looking first in the living room, but again I find no sign of her.
I’m about to move on to one of the adjacent rooms when a sound from the kitchen peaks my attention, for a moment I just stand there silently, listening to try and make out what it is I heard but no more sounds come.
Without much thought I begin to make my way towards the kitchen, and what I find in it is something that is quick to bring a smile to my face.
I only have a few moments to admire how beautiful she is in the minimal lighting before she turns to look at me, a sheepish smile coming to her face as she spots me.
“Sorry” she’s quick to apologise, for what I’m not sure but from the few things I can pick up about the scene I doubt it’s something she has to apologise for.
I smile because of this, “it’s okay, what are you up to?”
Again she shares with me a look of sheepishness, one that tells me she feels bad about what she’s done. “I really wanted some cake” she tells me quietly as if hesitant to admit her answer.
I watch as she waves her dirty fork around in her hand, gesturing to the full half eaten cake in front of her as she talks, her other hand subconsciously coming to rub her rapidly growing bump, something i’m not even sure she realises she’s begun doing lately.
Slowly I make my way over to the seat next to hers, softly placing a hand on her shoulder as I say “it’s alright I understand, what baby wants baby gets”
Katniss laughs at my comment, a sound so joyous and special you don’t get to hear it too often.
“Baby is being greedy” she replies with a sarcastic smile, stabbing her fork back into the cake and bringing it back up to her mouth, she lets out a small sound of delight, one that I couldn’t be mad at even if I wanted to, which I don’t.
I chuckle back, watching her for a moment more as she repeats the process of dipping her fork back into the delicious desert in front of her.
“It’s just so good! I can’t stop” she whines in frustration, tears surprisingly coming to her eyes, though I guess I shouldn’t be surprised anymore, we’ve been through similar scenarios many times already during this pregnancy.
“I should have just cut myself a piece but I couldn’t wait that long” she explains quickly while continuing to shovel bite size pieces of cake into her mouth.
I smile nodding along encouragingly, hoping that the simple gesture calms her mood slightly, “you have nothing to be sorry for” I murmur comfortingly to her.
But after a few more moments I decide on something, Katniss isn’t going to believe me no matter what I say, so what better way to show support than to join her.
Quickly I reach around the counter to pull out my own fork, confusing Katniss briefly as I do this.
“What are you doing?” She asks quietly, stopping her eating as she watches me.
I shrug, “you’ve made me hungry” I admit quietly “don’t worry I won’t take all of it I just want to try some” I reassure, dipping my fork into the cake like she had just been doing.
Bringing the fork back to my mouth is more pleasant than I expect, causing me to sigh in delight much like Katniss had just been doing.
“I don’t know what it is but it tastes so much better like this”
With her mouth full again Katniss smiles over at me, sharing with me a look that says ‘I know right’.
After that we both silently continue to shovel bits of cake into our mouths, until finally Katniss speaks up.
“You don’t have to do this you know” she mumbles quietly, continuing to scoop the cake into her mouth though I think she is still struggling against her morals.
“Do what?” I question back softly.
Katniss looks up to meet my eyes scowling slightly, “stay up with me, pretend like what I’ve done isn’t wrong, like you don’t care I’ve destroyed your cake, I don’t know”
“You can yell at me you know, just because I’m pregnant doesn’t make me exempt” she tells me simply, placing her fork down to the bench in a way that tells me she’s full, or at least done with the cake.
I look down at the item sitting next to my own discarded utensil I dropped some time before her, then I look back up at her, once again admiring the beauty of her in this moment.
“Oh Katniss” I sigh, “what makes you think I’d yell at you for this”
“I don’t know” Katniss avoids my eyes as she speaks to me.
“You have nothing to be sorry for remember” I repeat my statement from earlier, “what baby wants baby gets”
Katniss chuckles briefly, looking over at me again to inspect my gaze. She seems satisfied with her answer, her hand coming back down to rub her bump again subconsciously.
“Have you had enough to eat?” I ask softly when it appears she’s not going to say anything more.
She nods mumbling out a response of “yeah”
I smile, nodding back as I begin to stand up, “you wanna go back to sleep then?”
She nods again, this time not saying anything as she follows my lead and stands up.
Before we leave I put the cake back away in the fridge, wrapping my arm comfortingly around her waist as we make our way back upstairs.
***
When I wake up again it’s only a few hours later, but this time it’s more my usual waking time, the sun just beginning to rise and leak in through our windows.
I’m quick to look over at Katniss’ side of the bed like I usually would each morning, and smile at the sight I find; Katniss curled up contently with her hands resting on her rounded abdomen, fast asleep.
I can’t help myself but lean over and kiss her forehead, my smile brightening as Katniss lets out an involuntary hum.
It thankfully appears I haven’t woken her, so with the lightest tread I can muster after reattaching my leg I move to the window, pulling the curtain further shut so she can hopefully get all the sleep that she needs.
After that I continue to tread quietly out of our room, walking down the stairs slowly towards the kitchen.
Once i’m there I begin to pull out ingredients, my mind shutting off briefly as I do what comes more than natural to me at this point.
I first begin with making some bread, both a loaf and some fresh cheese buns which I know Katniss has really been enjoying recently. While I do I prepare myself a small breakfast with the remainder of the old loaf of bread sitting on our bench, biting away at my slice of toast in between baking when I can.
Then once my bread dough has been set aside to rise and a tray of cheese buns have been put in the oven I begin on a new project, once again beginning by mixing together ingredients in a bowl.
It’s all kind of an experiment at this point, I’ve of course made many full cakes in my life and more recently with the bakery mini cupcakes, but neither of these are good options for what I’m making the cake for. One is too big and the other too small.
So instead I’ve decided to try my usual muffin tin, bigger than a cupcake which I’m sure Katniss could easily eat a dozen of and still feel hungry currently, but smaller than a full on cake which will make her feel bad for eating the whole thing. And yes I can picture her eating a few of these cakes in one sitting, but in this sense they’re not much different to her cheese buns.
I’ve just finished placing the tray in the oven when I look up and spot Katniss watching me. For how long I don’t know, she’s always had a much lighter tread than me, even right now with her extra pregnancy weight.
“Hi” I smile over at her, which she is quick to repeat back.
“Are you hungry? There’s some cheese buns in the oven that are almost done or I can make you something else if you’d like” I ask her gently.
Katniss clearly thinks on this for a moment before finally she asks sheepishly “Is it bad that I kinda want cake for breakfast?”
I shake my head, smiling back at her, “no of course not, if that’s what sounds good then I see no problem”
Katniss smiles appreciatively.
“Do you want me to cut you a slice this time or would you like me to bring you the whole thing?” I ask her, only semi joking with her.
She chuckles, clearly getting my teasing when she shoots me a playful glare. “A slice will be fine, if you can get it quickly”
I smile nodding quickly as I salute playfully, “yes ma’am”
Turning to pull the cake out of the fridge again I’m quick to cut off a decent sized slice and serve it on a plate for Katniss, handing it over to her quickly after I’ve done so.
She smiles appreciatively over at me when I do, quickly digging in with a content hum.
I smile to myself as she does, moving back onto my baking as she eats, now preparing the icing for the mini cakes I’m making her.
Not a doubt in my mind about what I’m making or why I’m making them.
What baby wants baby gets, and baby wants cake.
And lucky for baby, it’s father is a baker.