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I Heard it Through the Grapevine
It was an understated fact that quiet people tend to be the most devious — especially people like Peter Parker, who was quiet partly out of low self-esteem, but mostly because of his deep-rooted fear that people would recognize him as Spiderman if he allowed himself to unleash his full personality. But behind the self-effacement was a mind of such cunning genius, Tony Stark and Ned Leeds were the only two people who could consistently stay ahead of him. Add the deviousness to that and . . . well . . . interesting things tended to happen.
Because behind the self-effacing mask of ‘bumbling nerd who nerded harder than any nerd before him’, Peter Parker was a sarcastic, imaginative, vengeful little shit.
In this particular instance, the interesting thing was the field trip for Midtown’s yearly GPA winners. Shocking exactly no one in Peter’s inner circle, said trip was to Stark Industries.
He was actually looking forward to it, something that would have surprised his classmates, because while he knew the Tower itself fairly well (thanks to after-hours tours with Tony, Happy, and Pepper), he hadn’t met anyone outside of HR, because he worked strictly with Tony. That would change over the next two weeks, he knew; there was no way Pepper or Tony would allow him to take a school tour with so little protection.
But he wasn’t surprised when Warren and Harrington cornered him after the last bell, the day permission slips were due, to inform him — gravely, regretfully, sorrowfully, and so condescendingly that his teeth ached — that everyone knew he was lying about his internship with SI and if he breathed so much as a syllable about it while at the Tower, he would be expelled, blacklisted, defamed, forced to sit at the front of the bus, and possibly tarred and feathered.
Still, despite his anger at seeing just how little the school staff really thought of him, he held his tongue and his temper against the overwhelming desire to verbally shred both of his sanctimonious, self-righteous, jealous teachers . . . because he’d remembered something James Rhodes had told him not two weeks earlier.
“When you are put in a position where justified revenge is needed, look for the most public and humiliating way possible. The unfortunate truth is that dealing with them privately will accomplish nothing. Even assuming they understand how and why they hurt you — which is a huge assumption — nothing will actually change. Their behavior won’t improve, and neither will their attitude, because they didn’t lose anything. Embarrass the hell out of them in public with facts that cannot be denied, and things will change, if only because too many people know the truth and won’t let them forget it or bury it or pretend it never happened.”
Then Rhodes had paused and given Peter a dark, wicked grin that sent chills down the young man’s back.
“And frankly, watching the comeuppance of someone who has gone out of their way to hurt you is way too satisfying to deny yourself, especially in the name of ‘being the bigger person’, because all that accomplishes is making sure everyone knows you’re a doormat. Is it worth ruining someone’s life over a one-off practice test? Hell, no. But when it’s not a one-time thing and escalates, or even just keeps happening, or people hold on to information you should rightfully have until they can use it to their advantage — that is when you take off the kid gloves. You take your time and do it right, but you make damn sure that the entire world knows what they did, how they wronged you, and how much they had your punishment coming. Rub their faces in their own actions until they can’t breathe and then walk away. As Tony rightly says, go big or go home, and when it’s your life, if you aren’t willing to go big, then you don’t deserve to have whatever’s being disputed. If you earned it, then it’s yours and nobody gets to say otherwise or take it away out of jealousy or envy or just plain old resentment. It will let EVERYONE know that you can and will defend yourself and you will show no mercy when they finally push you too far.”
Most people would have been shocked out of a decade of life to know that Peter understood and agreed with this cold, almost mercenary, perspective, but those people didn’t know that Jessica Jones had kidnapped him and dumped him in the dregs of Hell’s Kitchen for a week in order to beat the ‘selfish, self-centered arrogance’ out of him, arrogance that made him out to be the martyr in every single thing, taking blame and responsibility for stuff that couldn’t possibly have a thing to do with him while simultaneously subscribing negative emotions or simply believing that everyone on the planet felt obligated when it pertained to him.
She’d forced him to observe situations up close and personal to make him understand the difference between ‘choice’ and ‘obligation’, and she’d been ruthless in drilling down his reasoning and making him explain in words of one syllable about why he was the only person on earth who actually made his own decisions of his own free will, while everyone else was forced to take care of him and his colossally-burdensome self. There was no way anyone actually wanted to help him or take care of him, you see, it was nothing but obligation and guilt and Peter wasn’t worth that, so he heroically took on the task of Atlas and held the entire world up on his own shoulders and refused to ask for or accept help, because he was such a burden and nobody could possibly think that he wasn’t.
Her disgusted contempt on hearing Peter’s justifications for his refusal to accept help had actually shamed him into silence for four hours. The look on her face when she forced him to admit that he refused to ask for help since he knew that everyone thought the same thing he did — if he asked, it was because he was weak and incompetent and nobody would ever take him seriously, because they never needed help or rescue from anything, ever — would haunt him for months. She hadn’t said a word after that confession; she’d just pivoted on her heel and stormed off, leaving him huddling in her office, drowning in more shame, for another hour before she returned. Luke Cage and Daredevil were with her.
The next two days were never spoken of again.
By the time Peter returned to Tony’s loving, slightly-concerned arms, he was almost unrecognizable, but in a good way. He’d immediately apologized to Tony for all the times he’d refused to ask for help or back down from a situation because he had decided that he knew better than anyone what they were thinking and feeling, and that was the same dangerous, destructive attitude that had ruined Steve Rogers. Those changes had held firm, because Peter had come to understand several ugly, uncomfortable truths about himself on a soul-deep level and had worked hard to not only make some badly-needed changes, but also to remember why they were necessary, lest he fall back into those old habits.
(he didn’t hear directly from May for a month, because Jessica had used those two Unmentionable Days to lay some uncomfortable home truths on May Parker. Among other things, she made sure the woman understood that she (and her late husband) had done an excellent job of teaching Peter to respect people, but had gone much too far and ‘respect’ had become ‘be a doormat because the entire world was more important than he was’. And the lecture on pride was one for the record books.
Jessica had bluntly, tactlessly, and ruthlessly informed May that teaching Peter to live on and respect a budget and the reality of no spare money was one thing, but teaching him to be ashamed of wanting ‘nice’ instead of ‘good enough’ was not okay, and neither was refusing help or gifts just because they were ‘nicer’ than May felt was acceptable. She had made Peter ashamed of wanting more and better for himself, not to mention turning his people-pleasing tendency into a full-blown lack of self-esteem and the genuine belief that he didn’t deserve anything special or extra. The kid had actually rejected a scholarship because someone else at Midtown had applied for it and since their grades were a lot lower, clearly they needed it more than Peter, and it wasn’t like he needed to go to MIT, the local community college was just fine for him.
And May hadn’t objected, because she didn’t have the money for a nice college, never mind one as high-end as MIT, and she had adamantly refused to let Tony pay for it because she and Peter were NOT a charity case and there was nothing wrong with community college, it wasn’t like Peter needed a top-tier education in order to have an okay future.
Jessica had not been impressed.
It had taken those two days for May to understand some of the damage she (and Ben) had done, and it taken four weeks for her to deal with the actual reality of how much harm they’d caused in the name of ‘raising a son Mary and Richard would be proud of’ and teaching the boy to be humble and respectful of everyone, regardless of how badly they treated him. Peter had come to understand the same things from his own perspective and, while they still had a good relationship, he was always closer to Tony after those revelations and accompanying changes)
So when he was faced with the truth of Midtown, instead of cowering in shame at expecting people to believe such an unbelievable story, because of course he was unworthy of Tony Stark’s regard, Peter breathed through the fury that flooded him but held his temper at both the ambush and the accusations and went to see Pepper Potts when he arrived at the Tower that day. It took very little time for him to explain the situation, though there was a short detour while they smothered a small fire that destroyed her office sofa, the only outward evidence of her anger. Then she summoned her favorite HR guru, his favorite Legal gnome, and their collective favorite PR rep.
Then Happy Hogan was brought in, escorting one Christine Everhart.
When they were done, Machiavelli sat up in his grave, gave their plan a narrow-eyed, thorough look, then nodded with deep satisfaction and went back to death, secure that his legacy was in good hands.
Four days later, armed with three different recording devices, two of which were connected to FRIDAY, the bus arrived at the Tower and thirteen ridiculously-excited people spilled out of it. Ned and MJ watched with approval tinged with the barest hint of concern when Peter visibly held back a smirk at Warren’s snotty, “Remember, Parker, you keep your mouth shut. This is Stark Industries, not a daycare. They’ll laugh you out of the building if you spout off about working here and I refuse to give up my chance to see the best STEM company in the world because you aren’t getting enough attention.”
Ned bristled instinctively, but a subtle shake of Peter’s head made him subside, while MJ seethed in quiet solidarity next to him.
Then they got through the door and Harrington took his turn.
“Don’t even think about talking, Peter, I mean it,” he told the young man, face drawn tight with worry and disapproval. “Don’t even ask any questions; you just keep your head down and your mouth shut today. There is no possible way you intern here and you aren’t going to jeopardize our school’s standing and future visits.”
This time, Peter didn’t bother hiding his expression and Harrington was visibly thrown by the cold satisfaction curling his student’s lips. Like the coward he was, though, he ignored it since Peter didn’t say anything and pushed his way to the front of the group so he and Warren could confer with Security and the tour guide and get all the badges handed out.
Only Ned heard Peter’s quiet murmur of, “Showtime,” but the vindictive enjoyment filling every letter was chilling, though he didn’t blame his best friend in the slightest. Peter had put up with this crap for way too long and though Ned didn’t know the specifics, he was intimately familiar with the other boy’s vindictive streak, something he kept under lock and key because it was way too easy for him to shift from ‘poking fun’ to ‘mean’, and Peter refused to become Flash Thompson.
It took a lot to push him to that breaking point.
Midtown had done it, with Harrington and Warren leading the charge.
And Ned had a brand-new, giant bag of sour gummy worms and a can of Red Bull in his backpack, because he fully intended to enjoy every second of the show.
Peter timed it perfectly. After everyone had gotten a badge but him, Ned, and both teachers, he waited until the tour guide was offering a badge to Warren, took two steps forward, and pitched his voice to carry across the lobby without actually raising it.
“You can’t wear a visitor’s badge,” he told his teachers, his words ringing with authority. “You work in the hiring department, so by SI’s rules, you have to wear your employee badge.”
The entire lobby went so silent, so quickly, the sound of the elevator ding made several people jump in surprise. Peter didn’t blink.
“Well?” he demanded after a minute of being gawked at by Warren and Harrington. “You declared two different times since we got off the bus that you work here, so you have to wear your employee badge. Get ‘em out.”
His face flushed with rage and embarrassment, Harrington hissed like a teakettle. “What are you talking about, Parker? We don’t work here any more than you do and you know it!”
“You just can’t help yourself, can you?” Warren sneered, face twisted with contempt. “Trying to hide the fact that you don’t intern here by lying about us this time.”
Then she made the mistake of trying to grab Peter’s arm and things went a smidge off the rail.
As though it had been scripted (which everything but this had been, though only Peter and Happy knew it), the Security guard stepped forward, face like stone, and pointedly put himself between the Heir to Stark Industries and the moron stupid enough to put her hands on him, pushed her back two steps using nothing but body language, and demanded, “Is there a problem, Mr. Parker?”
Again, silence fell. Harrington and Warren, her hand falling slowly to her side, both looked like constipated goldfish, mouths opening and closing uselessly, faces alternating between fire-engine red, vomit emoji green, and white as a sheet.
Peter was coldly, impassively authoritative.
“Yes, Craig,” he said icily, looking at Happy’s second in command. “These two people have both stated, since getting off the bus out front, that they know for a fact that I don’t work here. Since the only possible way for them to have access to that information is by working in the hiring department, they are violating company policy by trying to enter the building with a visitor’s badge instead of their employee badge. They’re also breaking their employment contract and NDAs by engaging in a second job as educators for Midtown School of Science and Technology, which presents a clear and immutable conflict of interest. And all of that is on top of the fact that they have not only openly and repeatedly lied about my employment status, they have also slandered me. I gave them a chance to correct their poor behavior and rules violations on their own, but they both refused.”
“Really?” Happy Hogan intoned, his voice as smooth, flat, and heavy as concrete. He was crossing the floor with Lisa Harwood at his side. She was the head of the hiring department and she looked about as impressed as a parent whose kid had just peed on a display of Cheerios in the middle of Costco while singing the background vocals of Tub-thumping at the top of his voice.
“That’s very interesting,” she said, giving each teacher a disdainful look that made them stiffen instinctively, even as they quailed with fear at both her words and her facial expression. “Especially since I can state for a fact that neither of these . . . individuals . . . has any relation to my department in particular or Stark Industries as an entity. Unlike Mr. Parker, who has been a valued intern for more than a year — a fact that I also know Midtown is aware of, since I personally handled his paperwork.”
Flash wheezed, staggered, tripped over MJ’s mysteriously outstretched foot, and landed on his ass with a jarring thud.
Not a single person gave him a second look, which bruised his pride so badly, he couldn’t actually talk for more than an hour.
Warren and Harrington turned purple, then green, with eerie synchronicity.
Then a new voice rang across the lobby and Peter (and Ned, MJ, and most of the field trip attendees) took a hot, vicious joy in watching two of his worst tormentors collapse with sheer horror. Harrington managed to land against a wall, but Warren crushed a fake plant and gave the entire lobby a show they didn’t need as she flailed in an unsuccessful attempt to maintain her balance and sit upright.
Pepper Potts ignored both of them with the disdainful contempt of someone who has squished more important cockroaches with her house shoes.
“Why is there a phalanx of young adults creating a bottleneck in my lobby, Mr. Parker?” she asked — not meanly, but firmly. The effect was designed to show who, exactly, was in charge, but it was also intended to prove Peter’s legitimacy in front of God and everyone.
As with most things Pepper did, it worked beautifully.
Peter’s voice and posture instantly filled with respect and he recited the sequence of events in a steady voice.
“These two individuals both declared twice after exiting the bus upon arrival that I do not intern here at SI. Such information is only available in the hiring department, which means they must work here in order to have access, so I ordered them to use their employee badges instead of violating company policy by wearing a visitor’s badge. They each informed me, for the second time per person, that I do not intern here and I know full well they don’t work here. Then she tried to grab me, Craig intervened beautifully, and Happy and Ms. Harwood arrived shortly before you did.”
Summation provided, Peter fell silent and the room held its collective breath as Pepper gave both teachers a long, cold, calculating look. Harrington obviously wet himself and Warren looked one deep breath away from projectile vomiting, but nobody dared break the deathly quiet.
After several minutes of increasingly awkward staring, Pepper scoffed, turned to Happy and Lisa, and announced, “Well, they’ve been caught on audio and video recordings, which makes things easy. Go ahead and call Legal, ask them to file formal charges of fraud, slander, libel, and harassment, and ensure these . . . people . . . are permanently blacklisted from SI, any and all companies under our umbrella, and all our affiliates.”
Warren finally lost the battle and threw up in the plant stand next to her, shaking like a leaf and releasing a piteous moan that might have invoked sympathy — or at least pity — at any other time. Harrington fared no better; he lost complete control over his bladder . . . and he was wearing tan suit trousers.
Once again, everyone from SI ignored them both, and Pepper went to Peter, laying a protective hand on his shoulders before giving his tour group a narrow-eyed look, this one considerably more calculating.
Then she addressed Craig without turning her head, and ordered, “Send Jerome from Legal to Conference Room 16D, and have him bring a stack of the chain reaction NDAs.”
“Yes, Ms. Potts,” Craig replied, pulling out his company phone to make the call without moving from his place between Peter and his would-be assailant.
This was a fact that Monica Warren did not miss and it simultaneously enraged and terrified her. But she couldn’t say a word and knew it; this was too real and as dumb as she could be, she wasn’t stupid enough to protest that she hadn’t intended to hurt Parker, she was just going to shake some sense and respect into that smartass mouth.
Watching their students be led away by the CEO of Stark Industries was an unnerving, frightening sight, but at least the public humiliation was over.
“This is Christine Everhart from WHiH, reporting live from Stark Industries, where I have just had the truly fortuitous coincidence of witnessing two teachers from Midtown School of Science and Technology attempting to commit fraud by falsely claiming to be employed with the tech giant. Fortunately, SI’s always-impressive security was on top of things and stopped this travesty before it could truly begin. Still, that begs the question: what kind of school board and administrative staff are running such a prestigious school that they would hire not one, but two people of such dubious character? My colleague is attempting to speak with Midtown’s principal, one Walter Morita, for answers, but is being stonewalled, so he is reaching out to the school board to see if they’ll be more forthcoming.”
It took a minute for that to sink in, but when Harrington passed out in front of the elevator, it was clear he understood. Warren just puked into the plant stand again, crying silent tears of humiliation and fear. Any hope they’d had of handling this quietly and in-house with Midtown had just gone up in spectacular flames and there was a very good chance the entire school was about to explode with it, especially since it would quickly come out that the majority of the staff had refused to believe that Peter interned for SI, while also being stupid and arrogant enough to keep the paperwork proving their malfeasance on hand to be used against the boy when or if it was necessary.
Warren and Harrington’s public disgrace, humiliation, and comeuppance would last for hours, with a new indignity presenting itself what seemed like every 45 minutes, including the arrival of a furious, terrified Morita somewhere around Hour Two — which was caught on live camera — while Peter remained unseen and anonymous, because Christine Everhart loved her job, had great respect for Pepper Potts, and deeply valued Tony Stark’s vindictive protectiveness.
Somewhere toward the end of the ordeal, teachers and principal were given the same NDA their students had signed, and then promptly treated like they were badly-educated third graders when Happy Hogan sat down with them individually and went over Every. Single. Line. Using words with no more than two syllables. They were made to understand that if anyone from the field trip broke their NDA, then SI would exercise all their resources to determine the source of said violation — and if that person or persons could not be identified after reasonable, documented attempts, then every single person in the group could and would be sued for the violation.
And SI would win, because the NDA said that was exactly what would happen in language so plain and easy to understand, most lawyers struggled to explain it because there was no legalese or jargon. There was zero ambiguity to exploit.
(for the record, it would take Flash Thompson five hours to break it and the entire school, whether they’d been on the field trip or not, threw him under the bus so quickly, even Tony and Pepper almost felt sorry for the kid. Ned and MJ quickly disabused them of that notion)
But the absolute worst part of the entire miserable experience?
It was seeing Peter Parker standing in front of the Executive Company Elevator, flanked by Pepper Potts, Happy Hogan, Lisa Harwood, three lawyers, Ned Leeds, and Tony Stark, who had finally been informed of the situation once everything was done and dusted. All of them wore matching expressions of such smug satisfaction, it made the former teachers’ teeth ache and their skin crawl from frustration and thwarted rage at being outsmarted and outmaneuvered by a penniless, orphaned teenager, who should have been firmly under their thumbs and instead wielded power they couldn’t even begin to imagine.
As they were frogmarched out of the building, with Everhart narrating in the foreground, Peter gave them the brightest, sunniest smile any of them had ever seen, and waved.
Monica Warren lost complete control of her emotions and tried to lunge for little bastard, her hands grasping uselessly for his shoulders, while Harrington just cringed in response to the entire day and silently, docilely, stumbled to the waiting police car.
And as Warren was wrestled to the ground and handcuffed by the waiting officers, her ears were assailed by the final humiliation, because FRIDAY wanted to enact some justice of her own for Peter.
“I heard it through the grapevine!”
~~~
fin