Chapter Text
“John, it was all a trick, a magic trick. This phone call, it’s my note. That is what people do, isn't it? Leave notes? Goodbye John.” gasping for air, John’s eyes flung open. The mid day alarm went off on the small clock on his dusty side table. Ignoring it, he covered his eyes with his hands and let out a soft cry. He should have gotten over this already…. It had been 6 months after all….Thoughts went hazy as the room became quiet again. Wide awake, he just stared at the narrow beam of sunlight on the floor that came through the closed curtains. If atleast, he had still been living in his old flat, Mrs. Hudson would have shaken some sense into him but there he was, lying in bed all day long as if his world had been declared dead. He drifted off to a slumber as time went by.
“John, this is exactly what it looks like, I don’t really have much of a choice so if there’s anything you’d like me to know, I’m listening and there’s something I need to tell you too… You are..” The buzzing of the doorbell grew louder. Opening his eyes hesitantly, he sat up and staggered his way to the door avoiding the numerous takeout boxes and piles of clothes.Through the peephole he saw Lestrade standing outside with a small box. The door opened to reveal John with a twisted, forced smile. “John, I, uh, there’s a little something I wanted to see you about I hope It’s okay-” John nodded as they both made their way through the dimly lit hallway to the living room. “Well, I gotta say good to see you after so long John” John nodded and hmmed. “Er, that box…. It’s from my office, it’s some of his things actually, I should have thrown it but I…. I just thought you” “No it’s fine” he croaked in a hoarse voice. Greg took out a CD from the box “This is the uncut version of the video he made for your birthday. I just thought you might want this” he said, handing it to John. “No, It’s okay. I’ll probably not even watch it.” he said putting it away on a shelf near the TV. They talked for a while before Lestrade left. John stared at the CD, mumbling something before pouring himself a drink and playing it.
His lips turned into the same sad, forced smile seeing the detective being awkwardly nervous. Sherlock showing emotion was not something you’d see everyday, but it somehow felt like this nervous side was genuinely him. It was something you’d expect him to be like. “What do I need to do again?” “Stop being dead, that's what you do”. “Okay” John’s eyes shot up at the screen “Okay I’m ready now” John watched with great concentration as Sherlock sat on the couch and talked about his reason for not being at the party but It was all mumbled to John. His eyes were searching for something. Something, he thought only the genius detective could do, the only thing he desperately hoped for. A few minutes of unshifted attention got John what he wanted. “Oh you bastard” he muttered under his breath making his way to the door and out. The sun. It had been a long time since he had felt the warmth of it on his skin but that would go unnoticed for now. A few minutes later, a taxi arrived at the St. Bart’s Cemetery and out came the army doctor. It was very sunny, quite rare, even for a summer’s day. The wind was basically non existent with a faint smell of paint in the air. John stood in front of the shiny black slab of Marble with the gold letterings.
“You” he said in a firm voice pointing towards him. He looked up at the sky, as if it was an attempt to push his tears back into his eyes. “ You didn’t have to make it that obvious, you know, with the rhythmic tapping and all that. I want you to know that I’m waiting for you and you better make it worth it …… and just so you know, Thank you for just….. Everything. You saved me, again and again, and you keep doing it even after you are dead.” He touched the tip of the grave a bit and started going his way back to the road before turning back to the grave. “I am going to, uh, sit here a while longer if that’s okay.” He crouched down and sat leaning his head against the headstone and let out a deep, audible sigh. He just sat there, feeling the sun, putting him to sleep a while longer .
“You know what mate? I think I’ll have a good night’s sleep today”.