Archive of Our Own

It was nearly eleven o’clock at night when Song Lan got the call. His husband, Xiao Xingchen, was already asleep in their shared bed, looking closer to a sleeping angel than a human man. Song Lan was just starting to doze off when he stirred awake from the sudden ringing of his phone and his heart stopped when he read the caller ID, face growing pale. A trembling hand swiped to accept the call as the other frantically roused his partner awake.

“We have two children over in Yi City Memorial Hospital that we need an emergency placement for,” the foster agent said. “You two are the only ones close enough to come pick them up tonight. I don’t have many details right now, but if you can take them, I’ll call as soon as I get to the hospital. I know it’s late and unexpected, but—”

“What is it?” Xiao Xingchen asked, voice thick and groggy with sleep. He rolled up onto his elbow and rubbed his eyes.

“Two kids,” Song Lan breathed, moving the phone away from his mouth. “They need a home.”

Xiao Xingchen perked up instantly, the drowsiness suddenly vanishing from his mind. He nodded fervently. 

“Yes. Absolutely, yes.”

“But, Xingchen… Two…?”

“We can do this together,” Xiao Xingchen promised the trembling form of his husband, holding his hand firmly. “I wouldn’t want it any other way. We’re ready. We can do this.”

Song Lan looked at the hopeful determination in his partner’s beautiful clear and sparklingly bright eyes, darker than the night sky, and he instantly felt at ease.

He was right of course. Their house was all ready, just as it had been for the past two years while they waited for a call like tonight. Song Lan’s office was ready to be converted into a nursery at the drop of a hat. The still-boxed up crib stored in the closet was waiting to be built. Their guest bedroom had a bunk bed in it. Neatly crisped and folded linens under matching patchwork quilts, each layer more unused than the next, both ready and waiting to be filled with little feets. A pirate-themed treasure toy chest sat collecting dust, empty and waiting to be filled with loot and booty. 

They’d done everything together, attended every class and meeting, went through all the inspections. All that was left was a kid. Or two kids, from the sound of it. 

It was time. It was finally time!

“We can take them,” Song Lan answered back after a deep breath. “We’re on the way.”

They tossed on clothes and hurried in the car. Song Lan didn’t let go of Xiao Xingchen’s hand as he drove. They kept looking back at each other in regular intervals, both in utter disbelief that it was really happening.

Song Lan knew no one could ever really be 100% prepared to be a parent, but if anyone on earth was close, it was probably his husband, Xiao Xingchen. It was like he was born for it. Song Lan, however, was sweating as anxiety thoroughly wrecked his stomach. He was nowhere close to being ready, but he knew that somehow they’d be able to pull it off together. Everything felt easier with Xiao Xingchen at his side. Together, they could do anything. Even surprise parenthood.

It was about an hour drive to Yi City Memorial Hospital, and with each passing moment, the anticipation and the excitement and the anxiety grew tenfold. They could barely stand up straight after pulling into the parking lot. But Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan embraced each other firmly. 

“Together?” Xiao Xingchen asked.

“Together,” replied Song Lan.

Fingers intertwined together and they marched in, side by side.

The automatic doors of the hospital greeted them with a blinding white and sterile smelling environment despite the incredibly late hour. And waiting over at the receptionist was their agent who waved them down.

Like two lost puppies fumbling over to his side, they greeted the agent. They still had absolutely no information about the children they were picking up.

“Thank you so much for coming on such short notice, especially so late,” the agent greeted. “Sorry I didn’t call. There was a bit of an incident.”

Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan locked eyes, worry only growing tenfold.

“So here’s the situation: A little boy, came in holding a baby, saying he needed help. He wouldn’t tell the hospital their names or where they came from or really anything at all. The baby is currently being treated for pneumonia and the boy is refusing to leave her side. Her breathing and blood-oxygen levels were nearing critical, but they’ve managed to stabilize her for now. We’re guessing they’re siblings. We weren’t able to find any relatives to contact yet. But it looks like they’ve been on their own for at least a couple of weeks, according to what the boy has said.”

Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen digested all of this and nodded.

A baby… Song Lan breathed in. A baby and a little boy. A protective older brother!

In his mind he was already putting together the crib from the instruction booklet he had practically memorized just by gazing longingly at it while he sat at his office desk.

“Can… Can we meet them?” Xiao Xingchen asked breathlessly.

“Yes, of course,” the agent said. “The baby, she’s pretty sick. The state will cover any medical bills of course. But, I must warn you. The boy… he seems a bit… troubled.”

Xiao Xingchen squeezed Song Lan’s hand and replied, “It’s not going to be an issue.”

The agent made a strange, pained expression, and said, “Alright, please follow me.”

They were prepared for this. Whenever you signed up to be a foster parent, it was one of the first things they tried to prepare you for: How to Deal with Troubled Kids 101. And even though the classes weren’t graded, in Song Lan’s opinion, his husband would probably get a perfect score for his empathy and conflict resolution abilities. Song Lan, however, not so much… But he tried his best. Again, parenting was a team effort. It wasn’t up to each of them alone. They had each other to lean on. Surely, it would be okay… right?

Song Lan was already panicking internally, but tried not to let it show on his stoic face. He wiped a bead of sweat dripping down his forehead surreptitiously. 

The three of them walked along the hospital corridors until they came to a room at the very end of the hall, away from others.

“Again, I just need to warn you…” the agent said, stopping outside the door. “The boy… He’s intense. And a little violent. Be careful. And if it’s not the right fit, we can talk about finding another placement for him that’s better suited to his needs.”

Song Lan furrowed his brows, wondering what on earth could the kid have done to spook a grown man so badly. Separating siblings didn’t sound great. It would have to be an absolute last resort.

Of course, they definitely signed up for this, but did they really know what they were getting themselves into? Probably not.

“Ready?”

“As we’ll ever be,” Song Lan said, knees still practically knocking together from how just unready he felt at this very moment.

The agent opened up the door and said softly, “Hello, again. I’ve brought some nice gentlemen that are very eager to meet you. Can you say hi?”

Xiao Xingchen walked in first and Song Lan was trailing right behind him, still holding hands tighter than ever before.

Upon first glance, it was a wretched, heart-breaking little scene.

The little boy was wearing a thin, red and black baseball t-shirt and his pants were frayed and ripped at the bottom. His little blue and black light-up sneakers had a hole at the toe and they looked like they didn’t fit him anymore. His hair a wild, wind-swept mop pulled into a messy ponytail at the back of his head. He was standing dutifully beside the little glass oxygen chamber with one hand on the glass watching intently as the swaddled baby inside rested. The baby’s pastel green blanket had little bunny rabbits hopping over it.

They melted instantly. 

This is real. It’s happening. We’re doing this. It’s finally happening! they both thought separately.

“Hi there,” Xiao Xingchen cooed, getting lower to the ground. He had the warmest smile Song Lan had ever seen him make. God, he was so in love with this man. “My name is Xiao Xingchen.” He looked up to Song Lan with that brilliant moonbeam gaze, and nodded, urging him to introduce himself, too.

“I’m Song Lan,” he said, following his husband and kneeling one knee to the ground to appear more approachable.

“What’s your name?” Xiao Xingchen asked, extending a gesturing hand for the little boy to speak.

“I’ll bite your fingers off if you get any closer, you fuggin’ bastard!” the boy snapped, his little high-pitched voice absolutely not matching the crazy threat that came out of his mouth. He tried covering up the glass box with his body and one arm, shielding the baby from view. “You’re not gonna take it away from me. It’s mine! I’ll kill you if you take it away! I’ll do it!”

Song Lan choked on his own saliva, sputtering and coughing, trying to learn how to breathe again.

Xiao Xingchen’s smile faltered for a moment, stunned into brief silence by the little boy’s words. But he regained it in an instant and tried again.

“You were really brave for bringing your little sister here,” he said. “She’s gonna be alright. We’re both gonna take really good care of you from now on.”

Song Lan, face incredibly red from coughing so much, tried to nod earnestly behind his angelic husband in between desperate gasps for air.

The boy narrowed his distrusting eyes at them and hissed, “It’s not my sister. I found it. It’s my baby. You can’t take it away from me. It’s mine! I found it!”

“We’re not going to take her away from you, we promise,” Song Lan chimed in once he finally regained the ability to breathe and swallow normally.

“I’m gonna make it grow up big and strong, so strong it’ll be able to kill anything because I said so! So… So it’s gotta hurry up and get better!”

Song Lan was suddenly understanding why the agent had tried to warn them about the boy. He certainly was… a little… What was even the right word to describe him? Song Lan didn’t think “troubled” really covered it… 

Xiao Xingchen was not deterred in the slightest.

“Well, that’s very ambitious for someone so young,” he said, laughing lightly. “Raising a baby by yourself? That must be pretty hard work.”

“Yeah, it was really hard,” the boy admitted, gaze shifting to the tiled floor. “It doesn’t even like candy. I thought everyone liked candy.”

“You said you found her? Where did you find her?” Xiao Xingchen asked, trying to subtly pry for more information.

“Stop calling it a her. It’s not a girl. It’s a baby and I made it my pet. It’s an it ‘cuz I said so. And it’s gonna be a monster one day,” he snapped. “I found it in a bamboo box by a dumpster a couple days ago. It was all wrapped up in a blanket just screaming. I thought about hitting it to make it stop but then I thought maybe I could make it kill stuff. So I’ve been working on training it, but it’s not so good at sitting yet. Keeps falling over. And then it got really sick, coughing all the time. I didn’t know what to do.”

Song Lan’s mouth fell open at the little boy's words. The Social Services agent was practically growing mushrooms in the corner of the hospital room as he took notes based off of what the boy was divulging.

“Well, you did the right thing coming here,” Xiao Xingchen praised. “Did you give the baby a name? If it’s yours, surely you must’ve given it a great name.”

“Yeah. I call it Lil Bamboo cuz I found it in the bamboo box.”

“And what about your name?”

“The unstoppable Xue Yang is gonna be the evilest pastry-arch of all demons!” he boasted loudly. 

Pastry-arch????? San Lang wondered, brain buffering as he tried to decipher what the heck that could mean. Does he mean patriarch?

“And Lil Bamboo is gonna be my monster and we’re gonna take over the world together and kill anything we want to!”

He made a big motion with both his hands, but immediately he winced in pain and clutched his left hand tightly to his chest. Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan both spotted blood flowing down the next demonic “pastry-arch’s” hand.

“What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Xiao Xingchen asked.

“Xue Yang, the pastry-arch of all demons, doesn’t feel pain,” he whimpered, holding back tears, clearly in lots of pain. “I’m investible.”

“Invincible?” the agent corrected in the corner.

“That’s what I said!” the boy snapped.

Song Lan reached out first. He couldn’t help it, really. His heart burned for this kid and wanted to help. 

However, this was his near-fatal error. 

Like an injured, feral animal, Xue Yang’s first instinct was to bite. And his tiny little mouth latched surprisingly hard onto Song Lan’s hand, puncturing through thick skin with exceptionally sharp canines. 

“MOTHERF—” Song Lan yelped out before stopping himself. He tried again. “SON OF A BI—SCUIT EATER!”

Song Lan vaguely remembered the boy had threatened to bite their fingers off, so it was his fault, really, for not believing he’d follow through.

Xiao Xingchen watched with wide eyes as his husband and the little boy both recoiled in pain. It all happened so fast, he didn’t even have a chance to jump in between them. 

The foster agent was running out of the hospital room asking for a nurse or anyone that could help.

“Song Lan, are you alright?” Xiao Xingchen asked, grasping his shoulder. “Let me see it?”

Song Lan, trying to eat his bottom lip, reluctantly held out his quivering bitten hand and Xiao Xingchen sighed. The little boy had barely drawn blood. Song Lan was a big strong man, he’d live. Xiao Xingchen then turned his attention over to Xue Yang who was cowering in between the wall and the glass incubator, clutching his hand while tears streamed out of his wild, stormy eyes.

“Hey, it’s alright,” he cooed over to Xue Yang, crawling a little closer. “It’ll be alright. Song Lan didn’t mean to yell. Are you okay? Is your hand hurt? Can I see it?”

Xue Yang shook his head and blinked out some more tears.

“It’s alright if it hurts. We just wanna help make it better,” Xiao Xingchen coaxed further. “I won’t touch it or anything. I just want to look, I promise.”

He watched the little boy process his words, really considering it. He glared suspiciously at Xiao Xingchen, who put his arms behind his back in response, an earnest smile flashing across his face. 

Song Lan, who was suddenly very sympathetic to any patient zero in a zombie apocalypse movie, watched on in awe as Xue Yang hesitantly held out his injured hand for Xiao Xingchen. How was his perfect husband so good at this already? And how was Song Lan so incredibly bad at it?! It wasn’t fair! He just wanted to help…

The room went dead silent and dropped about ten degrees as they got a better look. Xue Yang’s tiny little left hand was an absolute mangled nightmare. A hurricane of questions swirled around in their minds. Xiao Xingchen’s eyes had gone even wider than the moon and Song Lan had to look away or his dinner was going to make a surprise reappearance. 

“That looks like it hurts,” Xiao Xingchen swallowed down a crop of bile that bubbled at the back of his throat.

Xue Yang shook his head, blinking out a couple more tears through thick, wet lashes. “It doesn’t hurt,” he squeaked out. “I’m invisible.” The most pathetic little voice they’d ever heard.

The case worker finally came back in with a nurse. Song Lan tried to refuse treatment, but the nurse insisted on at least cleaning the bite with some disinfectant. 

It took nearly fifteen minutes of Song Lan, Xiao Xingchen, and the nurse coaxing Xue Yang out of the corner of the room so that they could examine his mangled hand. There was no doubt that something was broken, but they needed to take him to the X-Ray machine to figure out the extent of the damage. 

Xue Yang thrashed wildly, punching, kicking, and trying to bite, all while screaming out the most obscene and creative expletives the adults had ever heard at the prospect of being separated from his little monster. Song Lan was a little wary of trying to get close to the boy, but kept assuring him that they just wanted to help. Xiao Xingchen was undeterred and crept closer while softly and calmly explaining to him that the doctors and nurses just wanted to help fix his hand and that he would come back to Lil Bamboo after.

Song Lan and the agent just stared as the little boy began to calm down at Xiao Xingchen’s words.

“How does he do that?” Song Lan wondered aloud. He essentially just repeated the same thing Song Lan had, so why did it sound so much better coming out of Xiao Xingchen’s mouth?! Unfair!

Xue Yang eventually agreed to go with the nurse, but only if Xiao Xingchen could go with him. And of course that was fine, preferred even! The little boy held onto Xiao Xingchen’s hand so tightly, his grip was shaking from effort. He kept the injured left hand cradled carefully into his chest. 

Xiao Xingchen thought his heart was going to swell and burst from how touched he felt that the boy wanted him to accompany him to the X-Ray. He tried to hold back tears and followed after the nurse with the little boy tottering along beside him.

Song Lan, still in the hospital room with the baby, tipped his head over to get a better look at the little girl in the oxygen chamber. She was the smallest, cutest, most precious thing he’d ever seen in his life. Her tiny little eye lashes, perfect button nose, wispy tufts of mousy brown hair, itty bitty freckles dotting her round and pink face. He was instantly smitten and reached out a hand to touch the glass as if to caress her face.

“So, based on the information he just gave, we’ll have to inquire about the baby’s family,” the agent explained. “If he found her, she may have a family that wants to take her back.”

Song Lan’s heart sank, but he’d sort of been expecting this. Fostering was not always a permanent solution. The best case scenario would lead to adoption, but so many other factors were at play, especially with these two that the state practically knew nothing about.

“And now we know the boy’s name, we’ll try to track down his family, too,” the agent added.

“You’re trying to tell me not to get attached,” Song Lan surmised. “I get it.”

“Yeah,” the agent relented. “But if what the boy said was true, the state may end up charging the families with neglect or endangerment. So it could go either way. For right now, all you can do is give them a safe place to stay until we figure out more information.”

The little girl in the incubator opened up her eyes and made eye contact with him through the glass. Song Lan was surprised she hadn’t woken up earlier from the ruckus the boy had made. Her gigantic, doe-like eyes sparkled just like his husband’s did. Her eyes were the color of the moon, silvery-grey, and filled with starlight. And she smiled up at him, squirming fruitlessly in her bunny blanket, trying to break free.

Song Lan felt a tear drip down his cheek and he knew that he was so fucked. They both were. He started to prepare his heart for the utter devastation of potentially having to give up these two, but hoped desperately it wouldn’t have to come to that.

Xiao Xingchen stood next to Xue Yang as the technician prepped the X-Ray machine. Xue Yang was looking all around with wide eyes, gawking at the fancy technology and big machines he’d never seen before. He still clutched desperately onto Xiao Xingchen’s hand while sitting in the rolling stool. 

The technician placed a large foam cube on the bed and a flat board on top.  “Can you put your hand on here for me?” he asked, trying to demonstrate the position with his own hand.

Xue Yang locked wary eyes with Xiao Xingchen who nodded earnestly back. Hesitantly, he placed his hand on the board, wincing a bit.

“I’m gonna need you to try and place it flat on the board, fingers spread. Can you do that for me?”

Xue Yang shook his head. The X-Ray tech tried to reach out for his hand, but Xue Yang pulled it away, muttering something vaguely ominous.

The X-Ray tech was not deterred. This was not the first time he’d have a scared little kid in the chair, and it wasn’t going to be the last. 

“This machine here is like a really big camera. It can see under your skin into your bones. We need to take a picture of your hand to help fix it. Just a quick picture and then we’ll fix it right up,” the tech promised.

Xue Yang once again looked up to Xiao Xingchen for support. 

“It’ll be over before you can say the ‘patriarch of all demons’,” Xiao Xingchen tried to assure the little boy.

The technician made a strange face at Xiao Xingchen, but relented when Xue Yang held out his hand on the board again. The X-Ray tech reached out to adjust the little boy’s hand, and he didn’t pull away this time.

But all hell broke loose when the technician tried to flatten Xue Yang’s curled fingers on the board for the X-Ray. He screamed so loud, Xiao Xingchen was surprised the glass in the room didn’t shatter. The entire hospital could probably hear that awful sound. Maybe even down the street. 

Xue Yang ended up trying to attack the poor technician with his teeth, his good fist, and his legs. He was like a tiny tornado, a flail of limbs and teeth, the way he fought so desperately. The X-Ray tech was able to get away before Xue Yang could do any real damage. He had to call in two more nurses to help hold the boy down. Xiao Xingchen watched helplessly and tried to calm the boy down by whispering assurances into his ear, but the boy was just screaming and thrashing wildly, trying to escape.

Not wanting to waste a moment, the technician carefully trapped Xue Yang’s hand on the board and flattened his hand once the other nurses had gotten him still enough. Xiao Xingchen was sobbing at this point from the terrible screams Xue Yang wailed out. It wasn’t angry curses like earlier, this was just agonizing pain.

But as the technician promised, it was over in seconds. The machine buzzed and shut off after taking the X-Ray. The nurses released Xue Yang and the boy ripped out of their arms and flung himself into the corner of the room, threatening everyone while clutching weakly at his hand.

If looks could kill, Xue Yang would have actually murdered the entire hospital several times over by now. Xiao Xingchen so desperately wanted to reach out and comfort the poor boy, pull him into the biggest hug and apologize.

“I’m sorry, Xue Yang,” he cried, wiping away the wetness on his cheeks. “The doctors needed the X-Ray so they can help make it feel better. But I’m really sorry that hurt so much. It’ll be better soon, I promise.”

“I’m adding you all to my list! I’m gonna come back and get my monster and it’s gonna kill all of you,” Xue Yang promised, blinking fresh tears out of his wild and dangerous glare. 

Xiao Xingchen didn’t even want to ask what that list was for, but he could make a pretty educated guess.

“Let’s go back to your monster, okay?” Xiao Xingchen offered, trying to change the subject. “Don’t you wanna go back and see Lil Bamboo?”

Xue Yang glared daggers into Xiao Xingchen, bristled a little, and then softened his fiery gaze. The nurses and the technician breathed a sigh of relief. The X-Ray tech said he’d talk with the doctor about the results and then the doctor would talk to them in the hospital room. Xiao Xingchen thanked them and apologized for the trouble. It took another couple of minutes before he coaxed Xue Yang out of the corner and walked him back to see Song Lan, Lil Bamboo, and the foster agent.

Song Lan looked terribly worried as he watched both of them walk in. He heard those agonizing screams from down the hall.

However, Xiao Xingchen stopped in the doorway, breathless. Xue Yang also stopped and looked up to find Xiao Xingchen silently weeping at the scene before him. 

Song Lan was rocking the little baby girl cradled in his chest with a pediatric nurse watching them with a careful eye. It was the most precious thing Xiao Xingchen had ever seen in his life. Coupled with the heartbreak from watching Xue Yang in pain earlier, it was too much for him.

“Xingchen?” Song Lan asked, stomach dropping in dread. “What’s wrong?”

Xiao Xingchen was too overwhelmed with emotions to form coherent words and he just crumbled into the chair closest to the door and wept into his hands. Song Lan didn’t know what to do and locked eyes with the nurse who held out her hands to take the baby from him. 

Xue Yang attached himself to the nurse’s leg, trying to get a better look at Lil Bamboo. He was thoroughly uninterested in whatever was happening over in the chair, his eyes were only on the baby.

“Xingchen, talk to me,” Song Lan said, rushing to his side. He knelt down in front of his husband and placed a comforting hand on his thigh.

“I’m okay,” he assured him. “It’s just… a lot all at once. In a good way!”

And they looked into each other’s eyes, Xiao Xingchen smiling through happy tears, and Song Lan nearly broke down with him.

“Yeah. It’s a lot to take in,” Song Lan agreed, voice wavering and threatening to break.

“And I saw you with—” he choked out. “It just felt really real. Seeing you hold her.”

“The nurse was teaching me how to administer an infant inhaler,” Song Lan said. “She can come home with us tomorrow night.”

Xiao Xingchen sobbed even harder into Song Lan’s shirt collar, absolutely over the moon with joy.

“How’s his hand?” Song Lan asked. “I heard the screaming. Didn’t sound good.”

“The doctor’s coming back to go over the X-Ray,” he explained, peeling his wet face off Song Lan’s chest. “We’ll know more then. But it wasn’t pleasant.”

Song Lan could only imagine.

The agent had to step out into the hallway to make a couple phone calls. Xue Yang eventually gave up trying to convince (threaten) the nurse to let him hold Lil Bamboo.

The doctor came in not long after and pulled up the picture of the X-Ray on a computer. Xue Yang’s left pinky and ring finger were all kinds of broken, as well as both the knuckle bones. Everything needed to be set in place with a cast to heal, but thankfully, he wouldn’t need any surgery to correct the breaks.

Xue Yang was not eager to give his hand out to more doctors after what happened in the X-Ray room, but this one promised he could pick out whatever color he wanted for his cast.

“Red!” Xue Yang immediately insisted. “I want a red one!”

“Is that your favorite color?” the doctor asked with a smile on his face, having won the boy over. He dug out the colored plaster strips from a little cart the nurse had wheeled in. “I like red, too.”

“Yes! It’s like the blood of my anemones!”

The doctor visibly jolted upon hearing that and looked over at Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen who were hovering behind him. They both shrugged hopelessly, thoroughly at a loss for words. The doctor stopped trying to make small talk with the little boy after that.

Where had he heard all of these crazy things?!

The nurse had long since put the baby girl back into the incubator and began helping assist the doctor with the cast for Xue Yang. She held up his hand as gently as possible and kept his arm still. Xiao Xingchen comforted the boy with a hand on his shoulder and tried to assure him it wouldn’t take very long. Luckily, he didn’t kick up much of a fuss other than some softer whimpers of pain, but nothing like the wild display from the X-Ray.

Once the cast was hardened, encasing his hand and wrapping around his wrist to keep them stable in stiff red plaster, Xue Yang gawked at the cast and swung it around wildly.

“Whoa there, bud,” Song Lan cautioned. “Hold your horses.”

Xiao Xingchen raised a curious eyebrow at him, and it took a moment before Song Lan understood. He’d only been a foster dad for about an hour at this point, and he was already saying shit like this. 

Yeah, he was absolutely doomed. Diagnosed with D.A.D. at the hospital. There was no cure.

Song Lan slapped a hand over his forehead and lamented, ‘Hold your horses’? Since when do I say that?!

Although Xue Yang’s hand was deemed fit to go, the baby girl still needed to be hospitalized for the time being. They had put her on a course of intravenous antibiotics for the infection and she would have to stay, like Song Lan said before, until tomorrow night. After that, they’d need to manually administer a tiny inhaler in case she was still having a little trouble breathing. But until then, she’d stay in the little glass box where the doctors could care for her.

Xue Yang was given some pain medicine to help with his broken hand, which he still insisted didn’t hurt at all. “I’m inviable.” He did make a huge fuss about having to leave Lil Bamboo. He kicked and screamed and tried to bite Song Lan again when they told him they had to go and come back in the morning to see her. He held onto the door frame with his uninjured hand when they tried to drag him out while shouting incredibly specific and detailed death threats at Song Lan. But truth be told, his little body was exhausted. He didn’t have much fight left in him.

Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan pried his little hand off the threshold and when he refused to move even a bit, Xiao Xingchen just scooped the boy up onto his hip. Xue Yang fought and squirmed for a bit before eventually resting his head onto Xiao Xingchen’s incredibly comfortable chest. He fell asleep by the time they’d gotten to the car.

It was nearing three in the morning by the time they got home. Xiao Xingchen carried Xue Yang into the guest room and tucked him under the patchwork quilt, smoothing over the blankets and placing a tiny kiss on his forehead. 

Song Lan got his turn next, looking at the little boy’s sleeping face with glassy eyes. He looked so calm and tranquil when he was asleep. He both wanted to know every single detail of Xue Yang’s life before coming into that hospital and really didn’t want to know. Perhaps one day, they’d get more answers, but for now, all they could do was provide him with a safe and loving home. If it was in the cards for him to stay, then they would love him more than anything so all that pain he kept tucked away inside could be let go and make room for kindness.

Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan collapsed into their bed, barely even having enough energy to change into sleep clothes.

Song Lan woke up to his work alarm set for six that he forgot to turn off. It was actually a good thing, because he needed to call work and take some emergency family leave to deal with their new fostering situation. He shot up out of bed and turned it off in an instant, glancing over at Xiao Xingchen, who didn’t even stir, just kept sleeping away. He sighed in relief. 

He finished his long loving gaze at his beautiful husband’s peaceful sleeping face and when he looked up, Song Lan’s face went pale. The door to their bedroom was wide open and a shadowy silhouette stood in the doorway. Song Lan dropped his phone, blood turning to ice, as he locked eyes with a menacing little beast, draped in shadows and lit up from behind in the morning light of the hallway. 

Xue Yang was awake.

“H-hi,” Song Lan said, nearly shitting himself. “Sorry, did my alarm wake you up?”

“No. I was watching for a while.”

Song Lan blinked uncomfortably at him and asked, “Oh. Are you alright? Do you need something?”

Xue Yang didn’t move a muscle, just continued standing ominously in the doorway.

“Are you okay?” he asked again, shifting a bit from the horribly uneasy atmosphere.

“Not you.” His voice sounded disgusted. Like this conversation was beneath him.

“What?”

“The other one.”

“I… What?”

“I want water.”

Song Lan moved to get up from under the covers, but Xue Yang shook his head.

“No, not you,” he said again. “I want the other one to get me water.”

“But Xingchen is sleeping—”

Xue Yang open his mouth and proceeded to start screaming bloody murder, at the very top of his lungs into the quiet morning air.

Song Lan was thoroughly unprepared for this new development and froze like a deer.

Xiao Xingchen, who moments before was sleeping like a baby, threw himself out of bed and into a martial arts pose, yelping out a confused noise.

Xue Yang stopped screaming.

Xiao Xingchen’s wild and bloodshot eyes raced around the room, trying to determine the threat. 

“What is happening?” he asked, increasingly confused.

“I want water,” Xue Yang said innocently.

Song Lan held his hands up in defense and said, “I offered to get him some and he started screaming, I’m sorry. You can go back to bed.”

“No, no,” Xiao Xingchen said, visibly relaxing his shoulders. He sighed in relief, thankful nothing actually terrible happened. “It’s fine. I’ll help him get some water.” He put on some slippers and walked over to the door. “Here, let me show you where we keep the cups and how to use the refrigerator.”

Xue Yang pranced happily after Xiao Xingchen only after giving an evil look back at Song Lan. It made Song Lan shiver.

He hates me! Song Lan lamented, feeling his eyes begin to prickle with tears. What did I even do?!

Shaking the thoughts out of his head, he reached down to pick up his phone and call work like he had originally planned.

In the kitchen, after giving him the brief layout of where everything was, Xiao Xingchen showed off how to work the water and ice dispenser on the front of the fridge. Xue Yang nodded attentively and snatched the plastic cup out of his hand so that he could try it out.

He ended up almost overflowing the cup with ice and then misjudged where the water would come out so a lot of it ended up on the floor, but Xiao Xingchen praised him for a good try and went to grab some paper towels while he tried again.

“So how did you sleep?” Xiao Xingchen asked, sitting down at the breakfast table across from Xue Yang with their matching cups of water.

Xue Yang shook his head and said, “It’s too bright in the morning. I want a layer.”

“A layer?” Xiao Xingchen repeated. “Like more layers? Are you cold? I can get you another blanket—”

“No, like an evil layer,” he said, taking a big sip of water. “I want an evil layer.”

Xiao Xingchen didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry.

“An evil lair?” he repeated. “Well, I’m not sure any of the houses in this neighborhood have one of those.”

Xue Yang scowled upon hearing that and took another big sip of water.

“Well, if it’s too bright, I’m sure we could add a curtain to the window for you,” Xiao Xingchen counter offered.

“Until you can get a house with a real layer… I guess that’s fine…” he mumbled, staring down begrudgingly into his empty cup.

“Great!” he said, smiling brightly. “It’s still pretty early, and we were all up late, so I think I’m going to go back to bed, how about you?”

Xue Yang nodded and pushed away his glass. 

“Will you help me put this in the sink?” Xiao Xingchen asked, seeing him about to walk away. “Let’s clean up after ourselves.”

He looked a little confused, but nodded hesitantly.

“Anytime we eat or drink anything, we put it in the sink after we’re finished,” he explained. “If there’s any food still on it, you can scrape it off into the trash. For drinks, if there’s anything left, just make sure to dump it out in the sink and then place the cup in. Alright?”

He demonstrated tossing the ice out of his cup into the sink and placed the cup in after. Xue Yang followed after him.

“Perfect job,” Xiao Xingchen praised, ruffling Xue Yang’s hair a bit. 

The little boy stiffened under his touch and dodged out of the way. Xiao Xingchen made a note to not try that again.

“Do you want me to put something over the window if it’s too bright?” he redirected.

Xue Yang nodded again and took off down the hall at light speed. Xiao Xingchen smiled as he chased after him. He ended up hanging a blanket over the window to help block out the light for him to sleep. Xue Yang crawled into the bed and instantly wrapped himself up like a burrito, rolling around on the bed and giggling.

“Okay, get some more sleep, alright?” Xiao Xingchen called. “Feel free to wake me or Song Lan up if you need anything. But maybe a little quieter next time…”

Xue Yang was already fake snoring by the end of the sentence, pretending he didn’t hear anything. An amused huff left Xiao Xingchen’s mouth. He closed the door and went back into the primary bedroom.

“Everything okay?” Song Lan asked. Xiao Xingchen nodded, covering his mouth as a big yawn overtook him momentarily. “Yeah, me too. I call out of work for the week for both of us. Do you think we’ll need more time than that?”

“Not sure,” he said. “We can talk about it after some more sleep. Thanks, by the way.”

“No problem,” Song Lan said, leaning over to give his husband a peck on the cheek. “And sorry about the screaming waking you up… I didn’t know—”

“No, it’s fine, Zichen,” he promised, yawning again.

They settled back into bed, with Xiao Xingchen cuddling up into Song Lan’s arms and using his ample bosom instead of a pillow.

Song Lan woke up to the sound of tiny little footsteps skittering up and down the hall. He kept his eyes closed and tried to go back to sleep. Then, a prolonged rustling and metallic clinking of utensils in the kitchen and more running down the hallway. The door squeaked closed. There was a pause. The door squeaked open. More running. More utensil noises.

Oh god, what is that kid getting into…? Song Lan thought. 

He looked over at his phone for the time. It was around noon. He looked over at his beautiful husband, and realized that he was going to have to unlatch and dislodge himself from their favorite cuddling position. It broke his heart.

Song Lan, trying to move as slowly and delicately as possible, broke free. Thankfully, his husband slept like a rock or he would’ve felt bad for waking him up a second time in one day.

He opened up the door of their bedroom and immediately locked eyes with Xue Yang darting down the hallway carrying a large kitchen knife in his hand. Xue Yang smirked maliciously and then shut the door to the guest bedroom, not even stopping for a moment.

Song Lan stood in the threshold, blinking at the opposite wall of the hallway for a split second before he decided to turn back around and wake up his husband for the second time in one day.

“Hey, um,” Song Lan started, lightly shaking his husband on the arm. “Xingchen?”

“Hmm?” Xiao Xingchen asked, still groggy with sleep. “Yeah, what’s up, love?”

“Yeah, so, I just saw Xue Yang running down the hall with a knife,” he said, trying not to freak out.

Xiao Xingchen sat up with wide eyes and said, “What?”

“Yeah. Just. Running with a kitchen knife. Like a big one.”

“A big one?”

Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan stared at each other for a long moment. 

“Well… I guess… We should probably take it away,” Xiao Xingchen started. “Right?”

Song Lan nodded, but inside he was panicking. What if he tries to stab us? What if he hurts himself? How could we have already screwed up so bad not even twenty four hours into foster parenting?!

Xiao Xingchen rose from the bed calmly and put his slippers on. Song Lan followed after him into the hallway, almost hiding behind him. Xiao Xingchen lightly knocked on the door.

“Xue Yang?” he called. “Can I come in for a moment?”

Xue Yang threw open the door with a big, toothy smile on his face.

A complex array of variously sized kitchen knives from the knife block in the kitchen were laid out on the quilt of the bottom bunk bed. All of the dinner knives from the utensil drawer were out on the bed, too. 

Xiao Xingchen tried to keep a calm persona and stepped inside with Song Lan. Xue Yang glared dangerously at Song Lan, but quickly glanced back at Xiao Xingchen with that same big smile.

Xiao Xingchen didn’t really know how to broach the topic, so he just looked down at Xue Yang and asked, “Where did you get all these knives?” Like he didn’t know the answer.

“The kitchen!” the little boy beamed.

Xiao Xingchen probably should’ve expected that. “Oh, I see. Well, perhaps my question is: why did you take all of the knives from the kitchen?”

“To protect us, of course,” he said, like it was the most obvious answer. “When the zombies start coming for everyone, we’ll need knives. And guns. But I couldn’t find any of those in the kitchen. The people will know it was me that sent the zombies and they’ll come after us. We have to be ready. Especially since my monster is sick right now.”

Oh, how this little boy continued to break their fragile hearts! 

“How will the people know it was you who sent the zombies?” Song Lan found himself asking.

“Because I can control the zombies, duh. I’ll make them go after the people on my list first. If the zombies are eating everyone except us, they’ll figure it out,” he explained dismissively. His eyes lit up, getting a brilliant idea. “Oh, oh! Or maybe I can have the zombies eat you so they don’t find out!” Xue Yang nodded to himself, happy with this new plan.

A shiver ran down Song Lan’s spine. Xiao Xingchen was biting his lip, trying to decipher if Xue Yang thought this was serious or if it was some sort of game he was playing. Either way, they needed to look into some sort of child therapist or a psychiatrist because even if these were just wild and imaginative play scenarios, they couldn’t stem from anything healthy in his past.

“Xue Yang, are you hungry? Do you want anything for lunch?” Xiao Xingchen asked, changing the subject. His voice warbled a bit.

“Oh yeah, yeah!” Xue Yang called happily. “Do you have any candy?”

“Let’s go see what we have that you might like,” he said.

“Race you into the kitchen! One-two-three GO!” Xue Yang yelled, dashing head first past them.

A ghost of a laugh escaped Xiao Xingchen’s mouth. He looked woefully back at Song Lan, hopelessly at a loss for what to do.

“Well, let’s start by hiding all of them out of reach. At least he didn’t hurt himself,” Song Lan started, guessing what his husband was thinking. “We’ll figure it out. Don’t worry. He doesn’t have any toys right now. It was probably just a game. We can go shopping after lunch. It’ll be okay. We’ll figure it out.”

Xiao Xingchen nodded, still feeling a little dazed, and headed into the kitchen to start some lunch.

“You’re really bad at races,” Xue Yang sneered, seeing him enter the kitchen.

Xiao Xingchen just smiled brightly and started asking Xue Yang about what he liked to eat. They finally settled on something that everyone would like, lotus root and pork rib soup. Song Lan had made a batch yesterday and it wouldn’t take long to heat up.

Meanwhile, Song Lan had gathered up all the knives and stuck them up high in the closet in their bedroom for the time being. Forget baby-proofing the house, they needed to have a chance to Xue Yang-proof the house! Anything remotely weapon shaped needed to be confiscated and moved to a safe and secure location.

Xue Yang asked for seconds and thirds of the soup, but other than that, nothing else of note happened during lunch.

They took him shopping, to a big department store, and helped him pick out some different clothes, as well as picking up an array of baby clothes for Lil Bamboo. They also stocked up on diapers, formula, and anything and everything remotely targeted for babies. (They went a little crazy.) Xue Yang also helped them pick out some toys for the baby, and even got to pick out anything he wanted for himself.

He wasn’t very interested in “normal” toys for a boy of his age like stuffed animals or building blocks or trains and cars. Instead, he beelined straight towards a giant bucket of little plastic army soldiers. Song Lan could imagine it now, these things would end up everywhere around the house in a matter of days. Tiny plastic needles to step on in the middle of the night…

But, it was what Xue Yang wanted, so they put it into their cart.

He was also very interested in coloring and art, asking them for markers and crayons and paper.

Xiao Xingchen also picked up a couple of story books and writing booklets to sort of gauge where Xue Yang was at with his reading and writing. Though, even from asking the little boy about school, he never gave them a clear answer, so they doubted he’d ever even attended school before.

While Song Lan pushed the carts up to the register, Xue Yang started running over towards the door, pulling Xiao Xingchen along with him.

“Where are you going?” Xiao Xingchen asked.

Xue Yang scoffed at him, like he was stupid. “We gotta run before they sound the alarms, duh.”

“What alarms?”

“When you walk out of the store, they sound the alarms. You have to start running before. So they don’t catch you.”

Xiao Xingchen smiled at him and stopped. “They’re not going to sound any alarms if we pay for everything.”

Xue Yang’s face scrunched up with confusion. “But I don’t have any money to pay for everything.”

“You don’t have to pay for anything,” Xiao Xingchen assured him. “Song Lan and I have jobs to pay for anything you need.”

Xue Yang’s eyes got huge for a second, his mouth falling open. “What?! You have money?!”

Song Lan would like to think that he was not stupid. But by golly, were these instructions unclear. He had argued in front of judges and juries. He had dismantled opposing counsel with nothing but footnotes and precedent. He had cross-examined hostile witnesses for hours without losing his cool.

And he was losing a fight with a crib.

The office-turned-nursery was covered in cardboard, plastic bags of screws, and a confusing number of wooden pieces that all looked nearly identical. The instruction booklet lay open.

Step 5: Secure Panel B to Panel D using Screw 7.

“Why are there eight different kinds of screws for one crib?!” he cried out, exasperated. “And where the hell did I put Panel B?!”

He thought this would be easier in his head.

Song Lan sat on the floor, rustling through all the different packages, brow furrowed like he was reviewing evidence.

“This is not Screw 7,” he said flatly. He picked up another. “This could be Screw 7, but there’s no way to verify that…”

It looked… close to the picture in the book? But the size looked wrong.

Behind him, Xiao Xingchen leaned against the doorframe, mug in hand, having wisely chosen to observe rather than intervene. He watched Song Lan reread the same page of instructions for the fourth time.

“You know,” Xiao Xingchen said, “we could go back to the store and buy a fully-assembled one.”

Song Lan shot him a look. “I can figure this out.”

Xiao Xingchen hummed. “I know you can.”

He tightened what he believed to be Screw 7 into Panel D. Or was it supposed to be B? The wood groaned.

Song Lan closed his eyes, breathed in, out. 

“What if I assemble it incorrectly,” he said carefully, not daring to look Xiao Xingchen in the eyes. “What if something happens?”

Xiao Xingchen set the mug down on the desk shoved into the corner and kneeled down next to him. “Then we fix it,” he chimed.

Song Lan shook his head, “I don’t… I’m not good at this. I can’t subpoena a crib. Or a child. I can’t reason my way out of—”

Xiao Xingchen snorted. He took his husband’s hands in his, and said, “I’m nervous, too. I’m nervous about doing everything wrong.”

Song Lan almost didn’t believe it. “But you’re such a natural parent. I’m… I’m not.” he lowered his voice, so the child coloring pictures in the other room wouldn’t hear. “He already hates me. Do you see the way he looks at me? What if I—”

Xiao Xingchen paused for a long moment. It did not go unnoticed that Xue Yang did treat them very differently. It seemed like he had latched onto Xiao Xingchen as a trusted adult and felt possessive over him.

“Zichen, there’s going to be an adjustment period. We’ll figure it out,” he said. “There’s no such thing as a hopeless case, yeah?” 

He nodded small, almost imperceptible, still looking at the manual.

“Goddammit. I’ve been holding this panel upside down."

Xiao Xingchen laughed so hard, he nearly spit out his tea.

The sound of little feets running through the hallway, and sure enough, Xue Yang appeared in the doorway holding a piece of paper in his hand.

“What are you doing?” he asked the two adults.

“I’m attempting to build a crib…” Song Lan lamented.

“Is that for my monster?” 

Xiao Xingchen nodded, “Yes, we’re going to pick her up tonight.”

Xue Yang’s toothy smile went wider than a rainbow. He started vibrating in the doorway, the sound of the paper flapping in the wind.

Xiao Xingchen hoisted himself up and retrieved his mug of tea. “What’s that? Did you finish your drawing?”

He nodded enthusiastically, and handed the paper to Xiao Xingchen with the cutest, most hopeful smile.

Song Lan watched many different micro-expressions flash across his husband’s beautiful brow. 

This outta be good… Song Lan thought vaguely. He pulled himself up and walked over to stand next to Xiao Xingchen, craning his neck to see the drawing.

Oh.

Oh no.

The drawing was… vibrant. Crayon-red splattered generously across the page. Stick figures that were clearly labeled stood amidst what appeared to be zombies, severed limbs and brains spilling out. In the corner, a red sun smiling down at the atrocities below.

“Mn,” Xiao Xingchen said carefully, trying not to say anything that he’d regret.

Song Lan’s brain immediately went into courtroom mode.

Exhibit A: Excessive gore.

Exhibit B: Drawing-Xue Yang in flowing black and red robes pointing at a huge green monster labeled crudely ‘Lil Bamboo,’ who was holding a smiling person labeled something incomprehensible up in the air.

Exhibit C: one of the zombies was labeled “the other one.” 

“Wow…! So… colorful!” Song Lan winced.

Xue Yang beamed up at them. “It’s us! That’s you, and this one’s me, of course, and there’s the monster,” he smiled up at Xiao Xingchen, pointing to the page. He made a side glance towards Song Lang before adding, “Oh. That one’s you. The zombies got you before we could save you.”

Xiao Xingchen nodded slowly, like it was perfectly reasonable information. “I see that.”

“But we still won,” Xue Yang added helpfully. “This pastry-arch is in-principle, duh.”

Song Lan exhaled through his nose. “That’s great. Winning is good. Even if some of us became collateral damage.”

An elbow was shoved into his ribs.

Xiao Xingchen cleared his throat, eyes never leaving the paper. “Can you tell us,” he asked gently, “what you like most about your drawing? It’s very detailed.”

Xue Yang didn’t hesitate. “The blood.”

Song Lan felt something in his eye twitch involuntarily. 

Xiao Xingchen chose his next words with surgical precision, “I like how you made everyone stand so close together.”

Xue Yang nodded, “So the zombies couldn’t get us after they got him.”

“Well, that’s good thinking,” Xiao Xinghen encouraged. “We should hang it on the fridge.”

Xue Yang’s eyes lit up. “Really?!”

Song Lan stared at the massacre on the page and nodded. “Of course. We have to celebrate a hard-fought battle such as this.”

After placing a cloud magnet over top the drawing, it hung proudly on the fridge. In the place of honor.

Xue Yang just stared at it for the longest time before going back to drawing again.

The drive was long back to the hospital, but Xue Yang made for interesting entertainment in the car.

“So when do I meet the trees?” 

“What?” Song Lan asked.

“The trees. In the forest,” Xue Yang explained, like it was obvious. “My new parents.”

“Your new parents?” Song Lan asked. “Do you mean us?”

“No, not you,” Xue Yang huffed, crossing his arms.

Xiao Xingchen looked over expectantly and asked, “What do you mean, new parents?”

“The man from the hospital said that I’d be getting forest parents,” he said. “I thought it was gonna be a tree-mom and a tree-dad. He lied to me. You guys are just regular people.”

Xiao Xingchen held back a laugh and said, “Oh, I understand. Song Lan and I, we are going to be your foster parents,” Xiao Xingchen assured him. “But we do have some trees in the backyard, if you’d prefer.”

Xue Yang nodded, trying to wrap his head around this new realization.

“Wait, how come I get two dads? Or is one of you gonna be the mom?”

“Two dads,” confirmed Song Lan. 

“Why do you live together? And sleep in the same bed? Isn’t that really weird? Are you best friends? ‘Cuz I heard that sometimes best friends can do that. Sleepovers.”

“We have sleepovers every night. We’re married,” Song Lan explained, glancing back fondly in the rearview mirror at his husband, who offered to sit next to Xue Yang in the back. “But yes, we’re best friends, too.”

“Married?” Xue Yang echoed, recoiling in disgust. “You guys love each other? Like love-love?”

“Yes, we do,” Song Lan said dreamily. He really fucking loved his husband.

Untraceable rage flared in Xue Yang’s eyes as he stared at Song Lan. “Gross.” 

“You know how a man and a woman can fall in love and get married? Two men can do the same,” Xiao Xingchen explained. “And two women,” he added after a moment.

The spell of rage broke whenever Xiao Xingchen looked at him. Xue Yang smiled up at him and said, “Oh, I get it! So you’re a faggot?”

Song Lan nearly spit up blood upon hearing the slur come out of this little boy’s mouth. He corrected the unintentional swerve he made and continued driving normally.

“Where did you hear that word?” Xiao Xingchen asked calmly, looking intently at the little boy.

“From Su She. He sorta watched me sometimes, but I didn’t like him very much. He said I shouldn’t listen to anything a faggot says.”

“Hmm… I see,” Xiao Xingchen said, clearing his throat awkwardly. “Well, what do you think that word means?”

“Su She said any man who kisses other guys is a faggot and a pussy and that I shouldn’t listen to them.”

Song Lan interjected this time, “Words like that aren’t very nice words to call someone.”

“I know! Su She only said them to people he didn’t like. He also called people bastard, retard, asshole, cunt—”

“We shouldn’t call anyone those words,” Song Lan tried to cut him off. “Especially if we don’t know what they mean.”

“So you’re not a faggot?” Xue Yang asked, genuinely curious. “Did Su She lie to me again?”

“That’s not— It’s just— You can’t—”

Xiao Xingchen looked up in the rearview mirror and watched Song Lan’s face turning a rainbow of different colors. Red because he wanted to yell but was holding himself back, blue because he was holding himself back from yelling and unintentionally forgot how to breathe, and green because he felt like throwing up. 

“It’s a very mean word to call someone,” Xiao Xingchen supplied, trying to save a floundering Song Lan. “So no. We are not. Let’s not use words like that from now on, alright?”

“Why not?” Xue Yang asked innocently.

“Well, because it’s good to be nice to people around you.”

Xue Yang made a scrunched up face, and boldly replied, “Why should the pastry-arch of all demons, Xue Yang, be nice if I’m going to kill everyone with my monster and then make them into my army of zombie slaves? I want people to be scared of me. I don’t have to be nice to anyone. Especially if they’re mean to me. Su She always said if someone spits on you, you should kill their whole family. Even the dog.”

Song Lan made eye contact with Xiao Xingchen in the mirror.

Xiao Xingchen spoke up first.

“Xue Yang,” he explained calmly, “we shouldn’t kill anyone. Or their families. Or their dog.”

That was a sentence he never thought he’d have to say to anyone, but here we are.

The boy frowned. “Then how am I supposed to make my zombie army?” 

Xiao Xingchen considered this, “Well, you can practice with your toy soldiers for now, but let’s leave the real army for when you’re older.”

Xue Yang considered this for a moment. “Then how will people be scared of me if I don’t have a zombie army?”

“You can be scary in other ways,” Song Lan encouraged. 

“Like what?”

“Like… by being good at math,” Xiao Xingchen supplied. 

Song Lan nodded, “That is pretty scary.”

A beat passed.

“So…” he said, circling back to their previous conversation, “if you’re not a faggot, what are you?”

Song Lan visible clenched his entire body hearing that slur again.

Xiao Xinchen inhaled slowly. “We’re married. We love each other. And sometimes people use mean words when they don’t understand something or want to hurt other people’s feelings.”

“Oh, so Su She was just being mean to you?”

“Yes,” he said firmly. “Very mean. And very wrong.”

Xue Yang kicked out his foot into the back of the seat, frowning. “He lies a lot… I hate liars. Su She is going on my list now.”

Song Lan swallowed, looking back at Xiao Xingchen again in the mirror.

Therapy… his look said.

So much therapy… Xiao Xingchen silently agreed.

The pediatric ward of the hospital smelled like antiseptic and something faintly sweet, like a candle burning in the nurses station. 

Xue Yang spied the baby first, running down the hall to the correct room number.

His entire body vibrated with excitement, eyes wide, pupils blown. “My monster, my monster!” he cried, rushing into the room.

Lil Bamboo was so impossibly small, Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan almost couldn’t believe humans started out this small. She made a tiny, distressed noise, like she was offended by being woken up from her dreams.

Song Lan felt his chest cave in. Yeah, he was doomed for sure.

Xiao Xingchen’s hand found his automatically. He didn’t say anything but his eyes were already glassy, mouth pulled tight like he was holding back tears.

“Let me hold her!” Xue Yang demanded.

The surprised nurse smiled, laughing nervously. “Maybe when you’re a little bigger.”

Xue Yang scowled before kicking her in the shin. “I am big.”

Xiao Xingchen stepped in immediately, apologizing to the nurse who was scooping up the baby out of the oxygen chamber.

The nurse, seeing Xiao Xingchen was politely restraining the excitable Xue Yang, instead gave the baby to Song Lan. He accepted her with eyes wide and trembling hands. The moment she was settled against his chest in her green bunny blanket, the infant stilled, sighing softly, like she was home.

Xiao Xingchen actually had to look away or he’d burst into tears again.

“She’s… she’s so warm,” Song Lan managed, swallowing a lump of emotions. 

The nurse smiled at them and told them to wait just a moment for the case worker to come back in with some forms for Social Services.

After a moment of silence, Song Lan offered the baby out to his husband.

“Do, do you want…?”

Xiao Xingchen nodded, and took her into his arms like she was made of glass.

That lasted all of about three seconds.

Lil Bamboo’s face screwed up, and she let out a piercing wail that echoed down the hall.

Xiao Xingchen froze. “I-I’m holding her the exact same—”

Song Lan reached out instinctively. The second the baby was back in his arms, the crying cut off like someone had flipped a switch.

There was a long silence. 

Xiao Xingchen stared.

Xue Yang stared.

The baby snoozed away, drooling slightly on Song Lan’s shoulder, perfectly content.

Xiao Xingchen visibly deflated. “She has chosen.”

Xue Yang promptly latched onto Xiao Xingchen’s leg, jealousy burning in his eyes.

Xiao Xingchen laughed helplessly, one arm placed hesitantly around Xue Yang while Song Lan stood there, holding the baby like he’d been personally selected by her.

“I am the baby whisperer,” he said, cracking into a rare smile.

The case worker gently cleared his throat and pushed up his glasses, standing in the doorway.

Xue Yang hid behind Xiao Xingchen, hissing softly.

“Alright,” he said. “We just needed to put a name down for her records. It doesn’t have to be permanent or anything, just something for now.”

“Her name is Lil Bamboo,” Xue Yang sneered from behind Xiao Xingchen’s legs.

The case worker visibly flinched and started to explain something, but Xiao Xingchen held up his hand.

“Lil Bamboo,” Xiao Xingchen said, musing on the name. “A-Yang, how would you feel about giving your monster the name Qing? We could call her A-Qing. It means bamboo.”

Xue Yang’s smile grew wide and toothier than a shark’s. He nodded his head fervently, instantly accepting the fitting name.

Jumping up and down, he demanded “How do I write it? Show me, show me!” 

Xiao Xingchen smiled back, and said, “I’ll show you when we get back home, alright?”

The case worker nodded, smiling at the domestic scene before him, and wrote down the name.

Xiao Xingchen looked at Song Lan and A-Qing, then down at Xue Yang. And he just knew, deep in his chest. That they would be okay. Xue Yang would turn out just fine. A-Qing, too. Song Lan and him would make sure of it, together.