Work Text:
Wednesday June 7, 1989
Mike didn't look up when he heard the knock at his bedroom door.
"It's open," he called out.
He heard Nancy huff as she opened his bedroom door and strode into the room. Mike still didn't look up from his typewriter until Nancy cleared his throat expectantly.
"Yes?" he asked in a rather obnoxious tone as he slowly looked up at his sister.
"You sure Will is gonna be able to pull you away from the typewriter in order to go on your movie date?" Nancy asked with a smirk.
"It's not a movie date, Nancy, geez. We're just best friends hanging out at the movies."
"Yeah, by yourselves."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Nancy shook her head. Really, Mike could be so oblivious sometimes. She decided not to press the subject.
"What are you and Jonathan doing when he drops Will off?"
"No idea," Nancy replied, shrugging. "I just know we're picking up Steve and Robin and going somewhere to hang out for a few hours. It'll be nice seeing everyone again."
"The Fearsome Foursome together again," Mike smiled. "You guys are really too cool for school. Would be nice if I ever got an invitation to join you guys."
"You'd have to be less nerd to join us, Mike," Nancy teased, smiling.
Instead of replying, Mike turned back to his typewriter and flipped her off.
"Asshole!"
"Hey, you started it!"
Nancy sighed. "I suppose you got me there."
"What are Mom and Holly doing?"
"They just left to go to their book club meeting at the library. They'll be there for hours. Mom and Holly really got into the book they were reading and I know they have lots to talk about with their group."
"And you call me a nerd."
"You're still a nerd, just a different variety."
Mike chuckled.
"Do you know what movie you guys are seeing?" Nancy asked.
"No idea." Mike shook his head. "It's Will's turn to pick the movie. I'm sure it'll be something good. He always has really good taste in movies."
The Wheeler siblings jumped slightly when they heard the doorbell ringing. That meant Will was being dropped off and Jonathan would be waiting in the car for Nancy to join him. Mike stood up from his typewriter and followed Nancy out of his room and down the stairs. Nancy opened the door to a beaming Will.
"Hey Nancy! Jonathan is just waiting in the car for you!"
"Such a gentleman," Nancy quipped, rolling her eyes slightly. "I should make him wait, shouldn't I?"
"Oh definitely!" Will replied, grinning. "But knowing Jonathan, he'll just start honking the horn until either you get in the car or someone calls the cops on us."
"Eh, Hopper is chief again; I can get away with it."
As if on cue, Jonathan started honking the horn. Nancy smirked, rolling her eyes slightly.
"All right, I'll go with him before that damn horn gives me a headache. I'll see you guys later, yeah? Have fun!"
With that, Nancy turned and walked to the car, flipping off Jonathan as she did. She got into the car and waved at Mike and Will as Jonathan pulled the car out of the driveway.
Meanwhile, Will turned back to Mike, smiling at him.
"You've been writing." It wasn't a question.
"How'd you know?"
Instead of replying verbally, Will just smiled and reached his hand out and tapped Mike's glasses.
"Oh, right," Mike said rather sheepishly as he took his glasses off.
"You should wear those more often. You look really good in them."
Mike blushed.
"I only need them for seeing things up close. And really only just text. Like, I can see you just fine. I just can't read text when it's too close. Anyway, you wanna come in for a bit? Have you decided on a movie?"
"Yeah, we've got some time. I could use a snack."
Mike gestured for Will to follow him into the house. He led Will into the kitchen and without Will needing to ask, he grabbed two apples from the bowl on the counter and handed one to Will. They sat down at the dining table together and both took a bite of apple.
"So, what movie have you picked for us?"
"Dead Poets Society," Will replied promptly. "It's the one with Robin Williams in it as a teacher."
"Robin Williams as a teacher? Hmm. That sounds interesting."
"I saw a preview for it on TV last night. It looks really good! It looks like he's a teacher at some really strict school."
"And of course he's one of your favorite actors," Mike pointed out.
"True, but he also looks like a really good teacher, based on the preview. He kinda reminded me of Mr. Clarke. There aren't many movies about really good teachers, teachers who actually care and make a difference."
"I just hope it's not too boring. Otherwise I might fall asleep."
"And wake up from me punching you in the arm."
Mike laughed.
Mike and Will found their seats rather quickly. To their surprise and relief, the theatre was mostly empty, even though it was early summer and everyone was out of school. They were able to get the best seats in the room: the center seats in the back row of the theatre, giving them the best view of the entire screen. Mike excused himself to use the bathroom and hurried off just as the previews were starting to play.
Will sat by himself, not really paying attention to the previews. He and Mike tended to be judgmental of the previews together as a way of picking out which movies they'd be likely to see in the future. It just wasn't the same without his and Mike's banter during the previews.
When Mike returned, Will was surprised when Mike silently handed him a pack of Reeses Pieces. He smiled at Mike and thanked him, immediately opening the box and pouring some of the orange and brown candy into his hand. He held out some pieces of candy for Mike, who took them with a smile and popped them into his mouth.
A few minutes later, the movie theatre dimmed the lights completely, signaling the beginning of the movie. The movie was silent to start, showing several of the students getting ready for some sort of ceremony. When bagpipes started playing loudly, Mike groaned loudly. Will turned to Mike, who turned his head away from the theatre and held up his hand in a "no" gesture. Will snorted at Mike's reaction and gestured for Mike to return his focus to the movie.
The movie's introduction continued, and they saw Robin Williams for the first time. Will clapped at seeing his favorite actor on screen. He blushed when he turned and saw that Mike was smiling at him with a fond expression on his face.
When Neil's father entered Neil’s room and told Neil that he should drop the annual as an extracurricular, Mike actually called out, "Fucking asshole." Will laughed and turned to look at Mike, who was holding up a middle finger while Neil's father was berating him for Neil contradicting him.
Then the movie shifted to the first day of classes. All of the classroom scenes shown were typical lessons, not unlike the many Mike and Will had experienced at Hawkins High. Will groaned when he felt Mike turn to look at him. Indeed, Mike was grimacing at him, mouthing, "Really? I thought this was supposed to be different!"
Luckily for Will, the first lesson with Mr. Keating was shown a few moments later. Mike sat up slightly when he saw Robin Williams walk out of the classroom and call for the students to follow him.
After the lesson on carpe diem, Mike turned to Will, who had a smug look on his face.
"Shut up!"
"What?" Will whispered, doing his best not to start laughing. "I didn't say anything!"
"You're being smug."
"I didn't say anything!" Will repeated.
"You're thinking it! I can hear your thoughts! Think quieter!"
Will smiled at Mike and shushed him before he returned his attention to the movie.
The two boys were silent for the next majority of the movie. They found themselves moved by Keating's teaching methods. Will almost had to excuse himself for the scene where they boys tore out the introduction to their poetry books. When Neil was reading the introduction as Mr. Keating drew the graph on the chalkboard, Neil was wearing his glasses and he looked quite a bit like Mike wearing his glasses. Will had found himself blushing profusely at that comparison, grateful that it was pitch black in the theatre and that Mike was focused on the movie during that scene.
Will found himself relating to Todd in several ways. When Todd expressed discomfort at the idea of reading poetry out loud during Dead Poets meetings, Will knew exactly where he was coming from. Will had never been a fan of speaking publicly, which is why he hated speech class. And when Mr. Keating mentioned to Todd that he knew reading his poem out loud to the class terrified Todd, Will was reminded of every time he was forced to read out loud in English class. He was just glad that he was always reading something that someone else wrote; he shuddered to think about reading out loud something that he had written.
Similarly, Will saw similarities between Neil and Mike. Like Neil, Mike had had an overbearing father until Ted's encounter with the demogorgon. And like Neil, Mike was more outgoing, and Will could imagine in an alternate timeline that Mike would try acting just like Neil. Perhaps if Mike wasn’t so laser focused on his writing, maybe he would be an actor in a play. Will thought that Mike would be great as an actor. It would let Mike express himself in ways that his writing could not.
Will did not have a strong reaction to the movie until the scene where Todd spontaneously came up with a poem in front of the class with prompting from Mr. Keating. After the class applauded Todd and Mr. Keating told him, "Don't you forget this," Will was briefly transported back to a time during his junior year with his art teacher, Mrs. Foster.
"Will, do you mind sticking around for a moment?"
"Sure," Will replied, not sure why Mrs. Foster was asking him to stay after class. Usually he only stayed because he was working on one of his class projects. But as today was the end of one of their units, it was a day for the students to show off their art work to the class, if they so chose. Will was never one for showing his work to his fellow students. It was always optional for him to do so, but Will had never shown off his work, not really caring what his classmates thought.
Mrs. Foster finished putting away the students' art work that had been handed in that day and she approached Will, who was still sitting at his desk.
"Can I ask you something, Will?" she asked. Will nodded. "May I ask why you don't ever show off your work to the rest of the class?"
Will was taken aback. That was certainly a question he never thought would come up.
"Er..."
"You're not in trouble," Mrs. Foster reassured him. "It's just, I've never had a student who didn't show off at least one piece of their art work completed in class. It's always been optional, but students have always seemed to enjoy showing off at least every once in a while."
Will sighed as he thought about it for a moment. He knew why he didn't like to show off his class artwork; he just didn't know how to articulate it.
Finally, he spoke up.
"I just feel like my school artwork isn't good enough to be shown off. It's different from my personal work that I do at home. I don't really allow myself to be as passionate and vulnerable with my school art as I do with my art at home. So I guess I kinda, I don't know, hold back if that makes sense?"
Mrs. Foster didn't say anything for a moment. She simply stared at Will with a small frown on her face.
"I have trouble believing that, Will," she replied. "You are, without a doubt, one of the best art students I've ever had the pleasure of teaching. I see your passion come through in your art work, and it's clear to me that you have a natural gift for it."
"Thank you, ma'am," Will said, not quite sure how to feel.
"If you feel like your school art isn't passionate enough, maybe you should pour some more passion into it. And let yourself be vulnerable."
Will nodded, feeling thoughtful.
"You know, I used to be a lot like you in that regard," Mrs. Foster explained. "When I was your age, I didn't really throw myself into my school art like I did my art at home. Part of that was because I preferred doing my art at home in private. And I think that came for fear of me being judged by others for my art. But then one day, I just decided I didn't want to be afraid anymore of what others thought about my art. I wanted to go for it and throw all of my passion into my work. And suddenly my art at school became just as special to me as my art at home. I fell even more deeply in love with art than I already was.
"I know it may not be that easy for you, Will, because not everyone is the same. But I believe in you, Will. I believe you have it in you to put all of your passion into your school art just like you do with your art at home. And I think you can create something truly beautiful. Maybe even many beautiful pieces of art."
Will was nearly crying at this. Hearing that somebody, particularly his art teacher, saw in him his talents with art, meant the world to him. Mike, of course, and Dustin, Lucas, Max and El had always complimented his art work and always appreciated when he drew for them. But hearing that someone who truly understood art recognized his gift, that meant everything to Will.
"Thank you, Mrs. Foster. I'll try. I'm gonna try and put more passion into my school work."
Mrs. Foster smiled. "That's all I ask: that you give it a try. I think…no. I know you have it in you, Will. I can't wait to see what you create."
Will smiled at that memory, hoping that Todd felt the same as he did when Mrs. Foster encouraged him.
Several minutes later, Will had another flashback because of the movie. Neil had found Todd sitting alone next to a desk set.
"Today's my birthday."
"Is today your birthday? Happy birthday."
"Thanks."
"What'd you get?"
"My parents got me this," Todd answered, gesturing to the desk set.
"Isn't this the same desk set?"
"Yeah. The same thing as last year."
There was a beat where Neil just stared at Todd before saying, "Oh." Todd replied with "Oh."
"Maybe they thought you needed another one," Neil said, trying to lighten the mood.
Todd chuckled.
"Maybe they weren't thinking about anything at all."
Will's heart sank slightly at that as another memory started to form in his mind. He ignored it for now, wanting to focus on Neil's reaction. He smiled as Neil helped Todd throw the desk set over the ledge and finished the scene by joking that Todd would get another desk set on his next birthday. Will laughed, although the memory he was thinking about came to the forefront of his mind.
Will sat patiently on his bed, waiting for news of Lonnie's arrival. It was his birthday, and he had gotten everything he had wanted, for the most part. Joyce and Jonathan had gone out of their way to make this birthday extra special. Jonathan had woken him up with breakfast in bed of pancakes, eggs and sausage, Will's favorite. Joyce had gotten him the new bike he had been eyeballing for several weeks at Melvald's. It must have cost her a small fortune. Mike was coming over later to eat cake with Will and his family, watch a movie and spend the night.
While all of that was great, Will was hopeful that his last birthday gift, getting to at least see his father even though Lonnie and Joyce had split up, was still on the cards. It was getting late in the day, and Lonnie had told Joyce that he would stop by after work to give Will a birthday card and to eat some cake. Will had been surprised that he hadn't heard his mom fighting with Lonnie to convince him to come. Joyce had surprised him with the news a few days ago that Lonnie was planning to come spend time with him for his birthday.
There was a knock at his door.
"Come in!" Will said happily, wondering if Lonnie had finally shown up even though he hadn't heard the front door open.
"Hey, buddy," Joyce greeted him as she entered the room and sat down on his bed. She had an unreadable expression on her face. "How are you doing?"
"I'm okay," Will replied, smiling. "Is he here yet? Is he still coming?"
Will watched as his mother's face fell slightly. He knew what she was going to say before she said it, but it still came as a blow.
"I'm sorry, baby, he's not coming. He just called and something came up at work. He really wanted to come, but he couldn't get out of it."
Will sighed, not wanting tears to fall down his face in front of his mom.
"It's okay, I understand."
"No, Will, you don't have to say that."
"Really, Mom, it's okay," Will said, trying his best to sound cheerful even though tears were about to start falling down his face.
Joyce smiled at Will, leaned down and gave him a kiss on the forehead.
"Do you want to come watch TV until Mike gets here?" she asked.
"I think I'll stay in here for a little bit if that's okay."
"Of course it's okay. It's your birthday after all, Will. I'll see you in a little bit okay?"
Will nodded as Joyce stood up from his bed and walked back to the door. She didn't close it all the way when she departed for the living room. Will laid down on his bed and finally let the tears fall. He hoped that his mother and Jonathan wouldn't hear him crying. He knew there was no shame in it, not now that Lonnie was gone. But he still preferred not to cry in front of other people. Sometimes it just felt weird to cry with other people around, even though he knew it was perfectly okay.
When he finished crying, Will sat up and grabbed a tissue. He blew his nose just as a soft knock came at the door. He cleared his throat and tossed the tissue.
"Come in."
Jonathan pushed the door open and walked into the room. He looked a little upset and right away Will could tell that Jonathan knew he had been crying. Jonathan sat down on the bed and scooted close to Will.
"You okay, bud?"
"I don't know. Not really."
"It's okay to be upset and disappointed, you know."
Will nodded. "Yeah, I guess so."
"But, are you surprised he didn't come?"
Will sighed before he shook his head.
"I guess not."
"But still, you're allowed to be disappointed that he didn't come. But you don't have to let it get you down, Will. Did you even want to see him today?"
"I mean, it would have been nice to see him for a little bit. Even if it was just to have cake."
"Do you think he would have given you anything for your birthday?" Jonathan challenged.
"Well..."
"No, he wouldn't have," Jonathan answered for him. "And even if he had gotten you something, it would've been something that he liked, not something that you liked. And that's so messed up. Your birthday is about you, not about him. You can be disappointed that he's not coming, but maybe it's for the best, Will. Because now you don't have to worry about him not getting you something you wanted and having to pretend to like it. And you don't have to worry about Mike coming over and seeing him be mean."
Will smiled. It was true that he had worried about Mike being around Lonnie and seeing Lonnie behave like his usual delightful self. He was relieved that he no longer had to worry about that.
"Thanks, Jonathan," he said. "Thanks, big brother."
"No problem, bud," Jonathan replied, ruffling Will's hair. "How about we go out to the living room? I think Mike should be here any minute."
Will smiled again and leapt up from his bed, following Jonathan out of his room. To his surprise, Mike was already waiting for him in the living room when they entered it.
"Hi Will! Happy Birthday!"
Mike practically tackled Will with a hug. Will giggled as he nearly lost his balance from Mike's hug. Everything was going to be okay.
For Mike's part, he didn't find himself relating much to the movie outside of Neil's interactions with his father. That was, until late in the film.
The first major scene where Mike found himself relating heavily to Neil was the scene where Neil spoke to Keating about his father making him quit the play. Neil insisted that acting was everything to him, and how his father had never asked Neil what he wanted. Keating then asked Neil if he had ever told his father how he felt.
"You're playing the part of the dutiful son. I know this sounds impossible, but you have to talk to him. You have to show him who you are, what your heart is."
"I know what he'll say. He'll tell me that actin's a whim and I should forget it. That they're counting on me. He'll just tell me to put it out of my mind for my own good."
"You're not an indentured servant. If it's not a whim for you, you prove it to him by your conviction and your passion. You show him that and if he still doesn't believe you, well by then you'll be out of school and you can do anything you want."
Mike felt himself stiffen in his seat during this scene. It reminded him of how, when he was younger before entering school, Ted kept warning him about having "odd interests" under the guise of not being able to make a friend.
Before this day, Mike had thought he would never make a friend. His father had warned him about having "odd interests" and not "normal hobbies" whatever those were. His father insisted that boys liked sports. And if they did like comic books and super heroes, they kept that to themselves.
But that was before he met Will. Will, who had immediately said yes to being his friend when they were swinging on the playground. Will had listened with a huge smile on his face as Mike talked about all of his interests, and occasionally chimed in that he liked some of the same things as Mike.
When Mike got home from school that day, he was so happy to prove his father wrong. That he didn't have to like sports or other "normal" things in order to have friends. He may have just met Will earlier that day, but Will was already his most favorite person in the world, and it was because Will accepted Mike as he was.
"Hello Michael, how was school today?" Ted asked, not looking up from the newspaper he was reading.
"It was really good. I made a new friend!"
"Did you?" Ted sounded bored.
"Yeah, his name is Will! And guess what, Dad?"
"What's that?"
"He doesn't like sports! Or any other 'normal' things. He's like me and he likes comics and super heroes! And he told me about this game called dungeons and dragons that he really wants to try out with me some time. I already talked to Mom and she said we could get it as long as I promise to play with it as often as possible!"
Mike felt super proud of himself. He had a new friend, a new friend that was similar to him in many ways. He was hoping that Ted would be happy that he had found a friend that shared his interests. Unfortunately, Ted did not seem to be as enthusiastic about Mike's new friend.
"Well, I'm glad you have a new friend, Michael, but I think you got lucky. It's not very common for boys to not like sports. I hope you have a good time with your new friend, though."
Mike's heart sank. His dad wasn't even looking at him, instead just focusing on reading the stupid newspaper. And he didn't even ask about his new friend. He sounded completely uninterested in anything he had to say. Mike huffed and scurried out of the living room. He hurried up the stairs and into his bedroom, shutting the door and sitting down on his bed. He didn't want to cry, but he could feel tears threatening to fall down his cheeks.
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From then on, Mike never really confided in Ted again. He rarely spoke about his interests to Ted, not wanting to see the nonchalance his father had displayed on the day he met Will. In addition, Mike rarely took his father's unsolicited advice about life after that. Ted's advice always circled back to telling Mike that he should like "normal" activities, and that Mike would need to learn how to eventually grow out of his nerd phase. It was a point of pride for Mike that he never truly grew out of it. Even during that summer where he did his best to shy away from his nerdy interests, they never truly left him.
Late in the movie, after the play where Neil's father took him back to his home, Mike found himself heavily relating to Neil. He could feel Neil's sadness and frustration with his father as his father declared he was pulling him out of Welton and sending him to military school, despite it being against what Neil wanted.
"I've got to tell you what I feel!"
"What? Tell me what you feel! What is it?"
Silence.
"Is it more of this...this acting business? Because you can forget that. What?"
More silence. Neil stared at his father with tears in his eyes.
"Nothing."
Neil sat down on the chair, looking lost.
"Nothing. Well, then, let's go to bed."
Neil's mother bent down behind him. Neil kept his back to her.
"I was good. I was really good."
"Go on, get some sleep."
The mother couldn't even comfort Neil when it was so obvious that he needed it. Maybe if she had, Neil wouldn't have suffered his tragic fate.
Mike had his eyes glued to the screen during this exchange. If he had looked away, he might have seen Will glance over at him, noticing how stiff Mike was sitting in his seat. Will was looking at Mike with a frown, and was wondering if his best friend was okay.
Minutes later, the unthinkable happened on the screen. Mike seemed to know what had happened when they cut to Neil's father waking up suddenly and wondering what he had just heard.
When Neil's father found his body and cried out in slow motion, Mike let out a strange noise. Will turned to him again and saw that Mike was trembling and tears were falling down his face. But, his eyes remained stuck on the screen, never tearing away from it.
Moments later, Charlie told Todd what had happened to Neil. He and the other boys went outside in the snow, with Todd musing how beautiful the scenery was. Then, he lost control, throwing up and collapsing to the ground, trying to deny what he had been told.
"He...he wouldn't have done it."
"You can't explain it, Todd."
"It was his father!"
"No!"
"He wouldn't have left us. He...he wouldn't have. His dad was...his father did it."
"Todd."
"His father killed him."
"You can't explain it, Todd."
Todd broke free from the rest of the dead poets. He tripped in the snow as he ran, crying out Neil's name.
Will felt his heart breaking during this scene. He could only imagine how Todd was feeling in this scene, realizing that his best friend was gone. He also knew that Mike was probably not taking it well. He turned and looked at Mike. Mike's shoulders were shaking and tears were falling down his face. But Mike's gaze remained on the screen, as if ashamed to look at Will and show that he was crying.
Hesitantly, Will reached across to put a comforting hand on Mike's hand. To his surprise, Mike seemed to still slightly as he realized Will was comforting him. Will was shocked when he felt Mike squeeze back, a silent acknowledgement.
Will kept his hand in Mike's for the rest of the film. He tried his best to focus on the rest of the movie, desperate to learn what would happen to the rest of the characters. He found himself smiling when Todd was the first to stand on his desk in the closing scene, declaring, "O Captain, my Captain" in Mr. Keating's honor. It showed how much Todd had grown since the beginning of the movie and was no longer afraid. It made Will feel brave, too.
The credits rolled. They were only about three minutes long. Mike and Will sat through the credits, still holding hands. When the credits finished, the lights came back on. Will chanced a glance at Mike and saw that Mike was no longer crying, although his eyes were red and puffy. Mike was also sniffling every few seconds, but still he remained silent.
They left the theatre still holding hands. They only stopped holding hands when they had to separate to get into the car so Mike could drive them to the cabin. It was a silent car ride. Will felt like he could not interrupt whatever was going through Mike's mind, though it was clear that Mike was upset by what he had seen. Will was worried he had made a mistake in picking Dead Poets Society as their movie to see. It seemed that Mike had related to it way more than he had ever related to a movie.
Will wasn't sure what to do or say, and kept quiet while Mike remained silent too. Luckily, the cabin wasn't too far from the theatre and they got to it within ten minutes. They got out of the car, still silent. Will walked as close as he could to Mike, not sure what was going on with Mike and wondering when Mike was going to speak to him again.
They reached the front door when Mike paused in his footsteps. He was staring at his feet, and it seemed like he was ready to say something. Will was just about to ask Mike if he was all right when Mike turned to him and spoke rather bluntly.
"I'm in love with you."
Will's heart skipped several beats. He wouldn't be surprised if he was suddenly experiencing cardiac arrest. Of all the things for Mike to say, he said that? Where did that come from? What did it mean?
Will hoped that the thousands of thoughts currently running through his mind did not display on his face. He tried to keep himself calm as he searched for the right thing to say in response to Mike.
"Let's go inside and we can talk," he said rather lamely.
To his relief, Mike just nodded and opened the front door of the cabin. Luckily, everyone else was still out and about, so they had time to themselves. Will followed Mike into the living room, his mind still racing as he thought about what Mike had said. They sat down on the sofa, and Will waited.
Finally, Mike turned and looked at him again. His face was unreadable. He sighed before he started speaking.
"I meant it, you know. I'm in love with you."
Will gulped, but didn't say anything. Instead, he just nodded, silently inviting Mike to continue.
"I think I realized it a long time ago. They scared the hell out of me back. It's why I've been so weird for the past few years.
"I realized it when you went missing. I was going crazy, worrying about you and wondering if you were okay. And it felt like everyone else was just treating everything as business as usual. You were missing, for God's sake! I'm just glad Dustin and Lucas got it, and they agreed to sneak out and go looking for you with me.
"And then, they found your body, or what they said was your body. I lost it that night. I went home alone, crying my eyes out. I thought for sure you were gone. I thought I was never going to see you again, never get to hug you again. Never tell you just how much I love you and can't stand to not be around you.
"But then El showed me you were still alive. And I had hope again. I had hope."
Mike cleared his throat as new tears were falling down his face. He wiped them away impatiently and continued on.
"Then there was that fight between me and Lucas and El threw him with her powers. We were all split up after that. And I thought I had lost my one chance of trying to find you. And that's when it happened."
"What happened?" Will asked, speaking for the first time since they entered the cabin.
"We were cornered by Troy and James. Me and Dustin were out searching for El and they cornered us. We tried to run and get away. But they managed to catch up. Troy had a knife on Dustin and was threatening to cut out his teeth. He told me the only way for Dustin to avoid it was for me to jump into the quarry. We were hundreds of feet up from it, so it would've been dangerous. Very dangerous."
Mike paused here and Will gulped again. He had a feeling he knew where this was going, and it terrified him to hear the rest of the tale.
"I jumped," Mike said. "But instantly I regretted it. Because I still had that little bit of hope that you were still out there, waiting to be found. And what if you were still out there and I was gone? How could I have made that a possibility for you?"
Mike paused again to wipe some tears. Will was fighting back tears as well and he felt a lump in his throat. The idea that Mike, his Mike, would have jumped down in the quarry at such a risk to his life scared Will. It was made even worse by the fact that Mike would have just been twelve years old at the time. Will was about to open his mouth to scold Mike when Mike spoke up again.
"I know, I know it was a very stupid thing to do," he declared. "And like I said, I regretted it instantly. But luck was on my side, and El must've been close by because the next thing I know, I'm being lifted into the air, and she appears, knocking James down and breaking Troy's arm with her powers.
"I haven't really thought about that in a long time. That was the same night that your Mom and Hopper found you in the Upside Down again. And when El, you know, disappeared while killing the demogorgon. Too much shit happened right after that that I didn't have time to really think about it and think about why I jumped.
"Until today, seeing that movie, I hadn't thought about that moment in years."
"Mike, I..." Will started to apologize, but Mike cut him off.
"No, Will, it's not your fault. I actually really liked the movie. I mean it, I loved it; it was such a great movie. I just wasn't expecting it to bring up some memories that I thought were dead and buried."
Will gave Mike a small smile as tears fell down his face. To his relief, Mike smiled back, though it looked difficult. Mike sighed again before he continued.
"That feeling of hopelessness that Neil was feeling when his father pulled him from the play and told him he was going to medical school, I know it all too well. It's the same way I felt when I jumped at the quarry. When Neil killed himself, I know exactly how he was feeling, because it was the same way I felt at the quarry. I can't explain how I know it, but that absence of feeling, and feeling like I would be better off if I was gone, I know it too well.
Mike hesitated here. But Will wasn't about to stop Mike from letting out all of his thoughts, so he nodded encouragingly at Mike.
"A small part of me still feels that way sometimes. Because of how I've treated you over the years, Will. I haven't always been a good friend to you. Especially that one summer when I, you know, threw it in your face that you didn't like girls. I hated myself for saying it, and I still hate myself now for it. Sometimes, I feel like you and everyone else would be better off if I went away. Maybe not permanently like Neil, but just separate from the rest of you guys.
"But I stay. Because I'm selfish. Because I just want to be around you when I know that you would be better off without me…"
Will didn't let Mike finish that thought. Instead, he cut Mike off by throwing himself onto Mike and pulling him in for a hug and holding Mike tightly against him. Mike seemed taken aback by Will's sudden movement, but quickly melted into Will's embrace. Will held onto Mike for several moments, not wanting to let go. He was almost afraid to let go of Mike. When he finally broke the hug, he leaned back a little, but he was still inches away from Mike. He reached over and put one of his hands on Mike's and started stroking the top of Mike's hand with his thumb.
"You should never think like that, Mike," Will implored. "You are too important to me for me to ever walk away from you. And you aren't selfish for wanting me around, because if you're selfish, Mike, then I'm selfish too.
"Why are you selfish?" Mike sounded so shocked.
Will smiled. "Because I always want to be around you, too, Mike. I never want to leave your side. You are the most important person and friend in my life. And I wouldn't trade that for the world. Dustin, Lucas, Max and El, they're great and I'm happy to have them in my life. But they're not you, Mike. You've been there for me for so long, Mike. I literally couldn't imagine my life without you in it."
Mike's eyes lit up. It was clear that Will's words were having a positive effect on him.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, of course, Mike. And in case it isn't clear by all of that, I love you too, Mike. God I love you. I love you so much. Sometimes it hurts me, how much I love you. I know sometimes you've hurt me, but I know you don't mean to."
"I'm sorry, Will. I'm so sorry..."
Will cut him off.
"Please let me finish." Mike nodded. "I know you don't mean to hurt me, Mike. And I know you would never intentionally hurt me. And that's part of why I love you so much. Because you're so good to me, Mike. You've always been there for me whenever I needed you most. I can never repay that."
Mike smiled again and Will returned the smile before he turned serious again.
"But, I want you to know something and I really need you to hear me, okay?"
Mike nodded, frowning slightly.
"Please learn to forgive yourself. You've made mistakes, Mike. We've all made mistakes. I've made mistakes. But being friends with you? I've never regretted that. I will never regret that.
"And I want you to know that I will always be there for you, Mike, just like you've always been there for me. But please, if you ever feel like you felt at the quarry, please tell me. I don't know what I can do, but I promise I'll do whatever I can to help, okay?"
"Okay," Mike replied, nodding. "I promise."
"Good. Cause you're way too important to me, and I can't lose you either, Mike. I need you, Mike. I will always need you. And I will always be there for you, just like you've always been there for me."
"Thanks, Will. I'll try to remember to keep that in mind. I'm so lucky to have you. And I'm really glad we saw that movie, I promise. It was really good. And I'd like to see it again, now that I know what to expect from it."
Will smiled again. "And Mike?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
Mike smirked.
"I know."
Will snorted. "Okay, Han Solo wannabe. Now kiss me!"
Mike didn't need to be told twice.