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The light rays hit Matteo's face, causing a vibrant warm range of hues over the lovers face. His lover next to him, sleeping quietly. Damien Lark, the prince. Laid down next to Matteo, looking handsome and soft. Looking young, looking sweet like something, Matteo Gian could eat forever. He sighed, knowing Damien and him were risky but Damien was his love. He stood by that as he stared at Damien.
Matteo let out a soft sigh, his breath hitting the shorter man's face. Damien twitched a bit, stirring. As Matteo leaned in more, sensing his love awaking. He smiled, a happy one for now. He leaned in close and pressed a warm kiss to Damien's forehead. It was like a warm breeze, a gentle awakening and Damien's eyes flickered open slowly.. His face conjuring a sleepy grin.
"Hello sleepy head." Matteo whispered against Damien's forehead, pulling the shorter man onto his lap. And nudging him a bit, his eyes watching Damien's reaction carefully. Damien blinked slowly, before his hands moved up and rubbed his eyes a bit roughly to make them focus. His gaze focused in on the taller man.
"Hi.." Damien murmured, his head falling against Matteo's neck, nuzzling into the crook of the brunette's neck. Matteo let out a quiet, content hum. This was the life, this was Matteo's life. This was the life he wanted so desperately. He had his world in his hands, ready to face anyone and everything. Matteo felt like he was floating, there was no down from here. It was all up, and happy. Matteo was happy for once in his life. He wanted this, he needed this.
"Good mornin'.. How are ya?" Matteo whispered back, nudging Damien a bit to stir him. Damien let out a groan, shifting into a more comfortable. "God...You woke me up!" Damien whisper-yelled.. while Matteo let out a chuckle. "Well I was a bit bored, you know!" Matteo whispered in the same tone, while Damien lifted his head a bit, side eyeing him.
"Bullshit." Damien cut off Matteo, who raised an eyebrow at his tone. "How do you know that?" Matteo said back, a hint of challenge in his tone.
"I'm the prince, i'll- learn?.." Damien whispered back, his brows furrowing a bit at the question. Not used to being teased or challenged such, but willing to try to play along. Though his attempt was a lot more stiff then Matteo's who ended up letting out a bit of a louder laugh. "That sounds so stupid."
"Like hell it is.." Damien grumbled, starting to glare at him more. While Matteo snickered, "Alrigh' then." Damien rolled his eyes, a hint of exasperation but also affection swirling in him as he buried his face back into his lover's neck. Matteo laid back down on the bed more.
"I see we are going back to sleep?" Matteo waited patiently for Damien's response who responded crankly. "Oh, be quiet."
"I'll have the staff make you food?" Matteo offered, trying to drag Damien out of bed. "Gimme a kiss first." Damien whispered a hint of mischief and teasing in his voice. Matteo's eyes narrowed a bit, but he complied. His hand found Damien's chin. He tilted his jaw upwards as well as pulling him into a soft kiss when he did so. Their lips met gently, not intense but more welcoming. Actions said more then words could in this instant. After a few brushes of their lips and soft-hearted kisses, Matteo pulled away.
"Bloody weirdo." Matteo whispered. "You got morning breath." Damien grumbled, though he seemed a content to have been kissed either way.
"You got it worse then me, Your majesty." Matteo grumbled, a bit annoyed. "Nonsense. I do not." Matteo's eyebrow shot up almost instantly, a teasing expression on his face. As Damien continued. After a moment of silence, Damien spoke again.
"I- think.." He stammered out quietly, his gaze a bit questioning. Matteo flicked his forehead, "Mmm.. Okay then. Morning breath." Matteo sneered back, with a quiet snicker. The prince just glared at the knight. Cursing himself out for letting such a fool inside his bedroom or even into his life. The dismissive shoulder Matteo used to give was now gone- Long.. Gone. Infact, another thing was that wether either of them wanted to admit this they were way too attached to eachother. One longing for a interesting life and one wanting just a free life.
It was both beneficial and a bit ill. Damien when he first met Matteo Gian was only 16, the two of them were both 16 infact. Matteo had surpassed the test exams for military school well and was selected to help and join a high ranking society of nobles and the body of the knights serving the royals officially. They had never met until a few years had passed by of course. But even if it did take a while, they did get to this stage.
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The two were close, maybe a bit too codependant on the other, to give them what they want. For Damien he wanted a life outside of the high ranking society, he wanted freedom. He wanted to be cherished, to escape bounds of society. To not be tied down to a singular person or feel what its like to run into the grasslands, free. That was probably Damien's ultimate dream. He had always been sheltered, forced alone. Always bound by society, his sister Malein had escaped all bounds of noble society. Running away, his older sister gone but with Malein gone left Damien alone for a while. Isolated, only surrounded by nobility and a sister who would still hate him no matter what. Their relationship was always cracked into pieces, it was always cracking never quite finishing their ending but never leaving the two in peace with their relationship as siblings. They always had a vendetta against the other, freedom over chains, eldest over youngest, the one who was supposed to rule verses the younger prince.
It wasn't even Damien's fault for most of this, it was just normal for all of those born as a woman or appear as one. To be approached as a worthless thing, it was normalized. Much to everyone's horror, all the men brushed it off without another glance. Proving how dark this was for Malein, despite being the eldest child but her only downfall? Being born as a woman. That was the only thing that stopped her from sitting atop the throne with the title of the king. Malein told Damien everything, exposing him to all the dark secrets children, woman and so many faced. It was horrifying, it terrified Damien to his very core.
He was never meant to rule, he was always sure of it. Malein was always the one who was supposed to rule, the only reason as stated was her gender. Damien was left alone with responsibilities, left alone to be isolated and forced wether he wanted to or not by any means to be the next ruler. Malein and Damien always knew their positions should be swapped but instead a large gap of envy for the others role. Damien wanting to be left alone and free while Malein craved control and being a ruler. The two siblings developing in such a different way, if only the circumstances had been any different Malein would've be the one. Should've been the one. But, now in present time Damien was the one only months away dodging resposisiblity like a plague.
To be quite honest he wished he had gotten the plague, he could've gone up to heaven or an eternal rest that would've freed him or let him escape this hellhole of a role. He cursed Malein for being able to escape, through an arranged marriage and being able to leave the man - as well as going to go escape and roam freely. Where she was now was long gone, she might never return for all he knew. While he was stuck in a hellhole, meant to be something he feared. The one controlling, he hated being in control.
Because if he was in control it meant he had to be in charge of everyone, it meant he would never be free and he would be the one controlling others and bounding him into roles they never wanted. Being an enforcer of rules, playing a fake smile. Dealing a set of cards, as the dealer. The dealer never got his own deal of cards, as after becoming king you would marry a bride, have a child very quickly. Gain an heir, and live out sitting high and mighty on a throne bound by chains and gained through blood plus ashes. Damien would never and could never want this..
But.. Matteo gave him freedom. Matteo was the one in control, Matteo was a knight sure, and everything was risky. But Malein did always tell him everything came with a price, if being caught was his price. He'd take the guilt, blame as well as the execution. Protect Matteo, and be the one to go to sleep first. Matteo was the light in a dark room, and he could never leave. Even if he despised Damien he was bound to his role just as much as Damien was bound to his as a royal heir. Matteo was bound to serve Damien as knight for aslong as Damien pleased.
While turning to Matteo's side, he needed someone to want him so desperately. He had been failed so many times he couldn't even count the times on his two hands. His hands were scarred, tainted with blood. He was damned to hell, he just knew it. God would never love him, and he was no one's son anymore. he was just Damien's, he needed to be damien's it was such a raw desire to be loved and wanted. Damien gave Matteo everything, the love he wanted. Because Matteo gave him the freedom, because Matteo was an act of rebellion. Even if they tore eachother- to pieces, Damien would just be rejecting the role even further. He would be separating himself as a homosexual, but also a fallen prince with a hefty price.
Maybe Matteo saw this and chose to ignore this, maybe he didn't or mayhaps he just wanted for it to all be to fake. Damien may have given him love, and Matteo gave Damien the protection. So as long as Matteo stayed alive to protect Damien, the longer he could be cherished. As long as they both stayed alive, as long as Matteo stayed with Damien. As long as Damien never got hurt, as long as Matteo was the one taking the sword, bullet, arrow, knife, dagger, spear, scythe, grenade into his chest. Matteo would get what he wanted from Damien. And damien- well.. he - could find someone else.
They needed eachother so badly, the one wanting to be cherished and the one cherishing the other as an act of love but also rebellion. Their relationship may have been confined to Matteo's quarters or Damiens large chambers but either way loving Matteo was a sin in Damien's eyes. It would always be a sin, he'd be damned to hell if he ever said 'I love you' so he bit back his words, gritted his teeth- acted like a man. Smiled cheekily and kissed Matteo back. Matteo ignored this, the need to be loved so heavy - the wanting to not be alone. The desperation in his words whenever he'd beg Damien to stay longer.
Humans were never raised to be born alone, even if you deny it. We all crave connection because we are all humans.
(The two, sat in silence. laying quietly, as they both fell back into the fading novelty of the tight embrace.)
Fate had other plans, fate always had plans you could never decide who fate chose. What winding path fate could chose for someone, something, animal, human, demi- anything. Fate always chose the direction of life. You could only steer your life into the direction fate had chosen. Maybe deep down Damien thought if he clutched his cross tighter while his he was called into his fathers chambers. Having been discovered, maybe he thought if you started touching the rosary beads. Fidgeting them long enough while clutching them tightly. You could be excused and not be injured but that was selfish of him.
All he heard from his father was pure screaming, his words slurred into slurs themselves. The old king kept screaming -- 'Faggot.' Over- and over again, calling him a boy kisser, a fag, all of these things. Repeatedly, he thought he'd be able to escape it all. Oh, Damien.. No.
Matteo was nowhere to be seen, maybe locked away- being starved. Maybe screaming for help out loud, showing his fear and emotions loudly. Damien had always envied Matteo for that, he always wanted to be able to express his emotions freely and not grin widely- and play a sly smile that no one saw through. Or dared too, because who would? If it fit, it could stay. It it fit, it could stay.
Damien was fucked. He could not survive this time, nothing could prepare him for the heavy disapproving tone. The disdainful look from his own father, he knew his father had always found him weaker then the Malein. But.. this was.. Something. Nothing could have prepared him for the long walk back into his chambers to think so deeply. To question his existence and what would happen.
The flames burned him worse then any words.