Chapter Text
term 1
It’s understandable why they have to be split up. Understandable, but not reasonable.
They sit around the table, each holding their slips of paper. On the top of each one, there’s a little monochrome logo printed, the name of the high school in all capital letters underneath. Choromatsu scans over his time table and the uniform requirements, but what he’s really focused on is his home room – 1C.
“…Maybe they made a mistake?” Todomatsu suggests, eyes glued to his own paper. “They must have known we were brothers – it’s kind of obvious from the name.”
It’s not a mistake, Choromatsu knows. They always do stuff like this, it’s on purpose. Todomatsu is in 1E. None of them are in the same home room. Some of them aren’t even in the same side of the school.
“Man, this is stupid,” Osomatsu says, slumping back with his paper crushed up in his palm. “Choromatsu, you should file a complaint or something.”
“Why me?” he asks, shooting his brother a dirty look, before looking down at the paper again. “Still, you know why they’ve done this, don’t you? They always try to split up people who know each other before starting. Like friends from middle school, and siblings.”
“I’ve heard about that!” Todomatsu says with a sudden spark of recognition in his eyes. “It’s so you can meet new people, isn’t it?”
“Ugh,” Ichimatsu groans. “Who would want to do that?”
“I wanna make new friends!” Jyushimatsu cheers, grinning brightly, as always. Choromatsu has no idea how he manages to keep so upbeat at everything life throws at him. “Lots of new people! Then we’ll finally have enough people for a proper baseball team!”
“Hmm, it might actually be a fun experience,” Karamatsu says, hand under his chin. “Meeting new people! A chance to-“
“It doesn’t sound fun,” Ichimatsu cuts in, scowling. “I hate having to deal with strangers.”
“C’mon, it can’t be that bad,” Osomatsu says, and it seems everyone else takes his word as final. He’s like their leader, in a sense. A sometimes very terrible, very corrupt leader, but still. It’ll be weird not having him with them every day at school. It’ll be weird not having any of them around him for the day. Osomatsu is friendly though, and laid back. Choromatsu doubts he’ll have any difficulties making new friends. Himself, on the other hand…
“So we’re not going to be in any of the same lessons?” Todomatsu tries, pushing his timetable to the centre of the table. “Karamatsu-niisan, Ichimatsu-niisan, you’re in the same side as me…huh…”
“Wait, wait wait wait,” Osomatsu says suddenly, eyes wide in horror. “How am I supposed to copy Choromatsu’s homework if we’re not even in the same lesson?!”
“I wouldn’t have let you copy me anyway!” Choromatsu snaps, frowning. “This is high school now, you know. We have to try hard to get good final grades so we can get good jobs.”
“Gross,” Ichimatsu says.
“I don’t wanna try hard, I just wanna chill,” Osomatsu whines, tilting his head back to look at the ceiling. “Wouldn’t that be easiest? Just letting mom look after us for our entire life without actually working? It would, wouldn’t it?”
“Such honest words, Niisan.” Todomatsu smiles with his hand clutched by heart. Choromatsu’s eye twitches.
“You’re terrible,” he says with a sigh. Then he’s looking at the paper all over again. 1C. Why did it have to be that? Why not 1F with Karamatsu, or 1B with Osomatsu? It doesn’t seem fair. It really doesn’t seem right. But…there’s really nothing they can do about it. School starts next week. They can’t really make such drastic changes as changing five pupils’ positions in such a short space of time. And maybe it’s for the best anyway.
“I hope we meet some cute girls!” Osomatsu bursts out suddenly, sitting back upright with newfound passion in his eyes. “High school girls are really mature, aren’t they? I bet they know all kinds of stuff!”
There’s a collective ‘oooh’ from the other brothers around the table, and Choromatsu finds the conversation takes a shift from ‘being split up’ into ‘what kinds of things a high school girl knows’, and then an argument breaks out when the difference between real life and porn videos is disputed. So really nothing has changed, they’re still all together really, doing the same things, acting the same way. And they’ll see each other after school anyway, so it’s not bad. Nothing can break up the bond between sextuplets that easily.
-
This school is…a lot bigger than what they’re used to. It’s almost scary how vast it is, with multiple buildings and corridors already packed full of people despite the bell not having rung yet. Todomatsu fights the urge to cling to the arm of a brother, because this is high school now and he needs to act cool to become popular, to get people to like him.
“This place is crazy big…” Osomatsu mutters, back pressed up against the wall, trying not to get knocked over the by older kids. “Hey, you guys all know what room you’re going to?”
“Nope!” Jyushimatsu says with far too much enthusiasm, whilst Ichimatsu just shakes his head beside him. All the others look equally unsure. Todomatsu knows what room it is, but doesn’t know how to get there exactly, and it’d be much better if they were all going to the same room…
They all jump a little at the same time as the bell cuts through the air, loud and piercing. Their middle school didn’t have a bell, so it’s a little jarring. Todomatsu hopes he gets used to it quickly. That, and everything else here too. It’s hard to imagine he’ll ever feel at place here, but then again, it’s only the first day. Everything will settle eventually.
“We need to get to homeroom,” Choromatsu says, frowning at some map he’s managed to bring with him. “Jyushimatsu, I think you need to go left at the end of this corridor…it should be one of those rooms…and Ichimatsu, you need to take the stairs over there and go straight down…”
The crowds around them start to disperse, and the understanding that they need to get going settles on all of them. Todomatsu looks around at his brothers unsurely, before taking a step back.
“…I guess we’ll see each other at break,” he says, and they nod in response, flashing earnest grins and trembling thumbs up. There’s a small moment of uncertain silence where they all just look at one another, before they turn and part, going in different directions.
It’s all just a part of growing up and gaining independence, Todomatsu knows, but it’s still scary.
-
Osomatsu manages to get lost so much that’s he’s over ten minutes late for homeroom. Registration is almost over by the time he bursts into the room, and sees only strangers looking back at him. In a moment of panicked instinct, he turns to look at his brothers. It’s a dulled surprised feeling when there’s nobody there. Right, obviously. They’re not with him anymore. Duh.
The teacher lets him off since it’s the first day and he’s new, and he gets placed at the end of a row with a bunch of other strangers. He would preferred the window seat, the one for main characters, but whatever. This’ll do.
Someone talks to him a little, but for whatever reason, he finds it hard to talk about himself to somebody who knows nothing about him. So he mentions his brothers, and the class is amazed to find out he’s a sextuplet. Lots of people want to talk to him about it, they ask him endless questions even after homeroom ends. Osomatsu smiles a little. There really isn’t that much difficult about making friends in a new school, he decides.
-
Ichimatsu doesn’t know what he’s supposed to be doing, sat around watching all the other kids talking. There’s no opportunity for him to enter the conversation, and even if there was, it’s not like he’d have anything worth saying. He’s already been asked his name by some people, but after that, they just get bored and leave. Not that he blames them. It’s not like he’s the most interesting person in the world.
He sits there helplessly for the rest of homeroom, feeling unable to mix. It’s a dull feeling, kind of sad, and he just stares at his timetable like there’s something on there he doesn’t know already.
This is the room he’s going to be in for the next three years, the people he has to be with all that time…and they’re probably all going to end up hating him.
Ichimatsu pulls his sleeves a little, then sits forward in his desk and tries not to get noticed. Some of the others shoot him a glance every now and again, but that’s it.
This isn’t good. He doesn’t really like it, being all alone.
-
Karamatsu is pretty sure he’s just made the best first impression ever on all of his classmates. He did a fluid introduction of both himself and his role as the second brother of the Matsuno household, fully confident, voice bold, perfect posture. They all smiled back him when he smiled at them, and they keep asking him questions about things that don’t really matter, and they’re all amused by any answer he gives.
So he’s making friends! It’s all okay, they like him. That’s what he was expecting anyway, he knew they’d have to like him.
Even when their lesson begins, there are still a few girls giggling in his direction, and Karamatsu feels even more confident. High school is full of great people! He loves them all, and hopes they’ll all get to be best friends.
-
It’s clear to see that if Todomatsu wants to fit in here, he has to change how he acts. These people in his homeroom, they’re normal and grounded, which is what he needs to become. He talks to them in a controlled tone, smiling sweetly, making sure they think he’s normal too.
It’s weirdly soon that the topic of sextuplets comes up, because obviously some people have already managed to hear about it, and are wondering curiously who these six people are. Todomatsu only thinks about it for a few seconds, before adding to the conversation.
“I bet they’re kinda weird, huh? It’d be strange to have so many brothers! I’m an only child, so I wouldn’t know about that stuff.”
And nobody looks twice at him - they don’t suspect a thing. His brothers are all in other homerooms anyway, so it’s not like he’ll see them anyway. At break he can just hang around with his homeroom friends, rather than his brothers.
It’s a little cold, sure, but this is how it has to be. They have to grow up at some point, don’t they? After a few weeks, it’ll be the same way for all of them. Maybe it’s not so bad, being apart from them all. Todomatsu thinks it’s something like that anyway. Finally he can be independent. This is the chance to break free from being part of a set.
Or, something like that.
-
Not much has really happened so far. It’s not like it was going to - these things happen every year, a bunch of new pupils starting and settling down, so Choromatsu doesn’t know what he was expecting. Most people keep to themselves, so he figures he should do the same. Others already have friends from the middle schools, ones who managed somehow not to get split up, so he doesn’t feel he should interrupt them anyway. He’s kind of boring anyway.
Mostly Choromatsu just focuses on his work. Nobody bothers him really, other than asking for the occasional answer to a question, and that’s okay. It’s not really like school is for making friends anyway, it’s just another stepping stone in life to get to the next place. Just three years, that’s it.
His homeroom is far away from the others’, and he’s not sure he trusts himself to get there without getting lost. And he definitely doesn’t want to be late for lesson, so he opts for spending break in his homeroom, flicking through news about cute idols and new anime releases. He keeps his phone close to his face the entire time, just so nobody else can see it.
He doesn’t want people to think he’s a freak, after all.
-
Jyushimatsu feels elated. There are completely one hundred percent enough people in here to form a proper baseball team. In fact, there’s probably enough to form two, if he includes his brothers as well.
He’s not too sure about talking to them though. It’s hard to know what exactly he should say when he’s never met these people before. With his brothers, it’d be easy…he can act like normal around them if he wants, they don’t mind.
But! This is a chance to make friends, like his brothers will be doing too. And then these people can be their friends too, and they’ll all get along so much better, and it’ll turn out amazing! And baseball, he can’t forget about that. Maybe he can join a baseball club, since they have a ton of after school activities at high school, he’s heard about them. Maybe his brothers can join too! That’d be great, super great, game winning homerun level of greatness!
Some other kids approach him and introduce themselves, and Jyushimatsu introduces himself with a grin (maybe a little too loudly, based on what Choromatsu sometimes says, but surely not too bad). They smile back at him, so he can’t have been too weird to them. So that’s okay! If he just stays like this and tries to have some fun here, it should be okay. And it’ll be okay for everyone else too! Which is even more okay!
But really, he can’t wait for his first sports lesson.
-
For some reason, they don’t see each other for the rest of the day. Osomatsu goes home as normal, managing to meet up with Choromatsu, but the rest never show. Which is weird, really weird, but mostly it just makes him mad. They were supposed to meet up at break and lunch too, and that never happened either.
“You think they’ve managed to get girlfriends already?” he asks Choromatsu, led on his back with his tie shoved in his front pocket, blazer discarded. “Man, I’m gonna beat them all up if that’s true.”
“There’s no way it’s something like that,” Choromatsu says, resting his head on his hand. “Uh, sorry I didn’t come and find you guys at lunch, I ate in my homeroom instead.”
“Don’t worry about it,” he says with the wave of his hand, before giving his brother a sharp kick with his left leg. “It’s not a big deal.”
“Why are you saying that whilst kicking me?!” Choromatsu yells, drawing back so Osomatsu can’t reach him anymore without moving. “But seriously, where are those guys…”
They sit in silence for a few moments more, before the door opens and at least another of them trails in.
“Ichimatsu!” Osomatsu says, sitting up. “Why are you so late back? I thought we were gonna walk back together!”
“I saw a cat,” his brother says with a light shrug, before sitting down in his usual spot in the corner.
“What about the others?” Choromatsu tries, but just gets another shrug in response. There’s no point trying to get anything else out of him, since Ichimatsu has never really been a huge talker. Choromatsu seems to get this, and just sighs and goes back to whatever he was doing.
Again, they wait in silence until they hear the door open again. Nobody has to try and figure out who it is though, since immediately a loud voice calls out ‘I’M HOMMEE’ and Jyushimatsu bounds into the room, Karamatsu behind him.
“Where were you two?” Choromatsu asks, watching as Jyushimatsu tosses his bag across the room carelessly.
“We went to the club inductions!” Karamatsu says, sitting down next to Osomatsu.
“Clubs?” he says with a raised eyebrow. “Why are you joining clubs already? It’s the first day!”
“Baseball!” Jyushimatsu cheers.
“Hm! I’m thinking of joining the drama club! The sooner the better, since they have annual plays at the end of the year.”
“Drama club? That’s terrible.” Osomatsu shakes his head in dismay. “Do what you want though. It’d suit you, I guess.”
“So long as people don’t know we’re related,” Ichimatsu says lowly, not looking up.
“Well, I-“
Karamatsu is cut off as the door opens once last time, and Todomatsu walks in, looking strangely happy with himself.
“Were you doing club stuff too?” Osomatsu asks, shooting the youngest brother a disbelieving look. There’s no way he would do something like that.
“No way,” Todomatsu says, sitting down with them. He fiddles with his phone for a few moments before looking up at them. “I made some friends, so I hung out with them for a bit.”
“You made friends?!”
It’s a collective cry from the rest of them, and Osomatsu realises then that it wasn’t just him who seems to have had trouble making a solid friend. He thought it was the first day, these things take time, but then what the hell Todomatsu’s already managed to get to the point of spending time with them after school.
“So what?” he says, blinking at them. “…Didn’t you guys?”
“Well, not on that level,” Osomatsu says with a shrug. It’s kind of true, anyway. He got a lot of people talking to him but he can’t even remember most of their names. They were mostly just asking questions about his brothers, not him. It wouldn’t have been like that if they were all together. He’d answer questions about himself, and his brothers would answer questions about themselves too. “But anyway, I bet high school’s gonna be reaaally boring, huh? It’s all serious and stuff now.”
“Well, obviously, what were you expecting,” Choromatsu mutters.
“It wasn’t that bad,” Karamatsu says, looking thoughtful. “But you didn’t show up at lunch?”
“Oh, yeah, sorry,” Todomatsu says with an unapologetic smile. “I ate with people from my homeroom.”
“Y-yeah, I ate in my homeroom too,” Choromatsu says, not looking up.
“Mmm,” Ichimatsu agrees.
“It’s not like we have to eat together anyway, right?” Todomatsu says. “I mean, we’re old enough now to do our own things at school. We’ve been split up after all.”
Everyone else makes a vague sound of agreement, but Osomatsu just frowns. That’s not how it is normally. They spend their lunchtimes together, they always have done. It’s not that he minds, because he doesn’t, his brothers are total pains pretty much all the time, but…even still. It’s weird. It’s all changing now.
But whatever. They can still spend time together at home. It’s not like things can change that quickly anyway. It’s been a day. This stuff won’t last.
“Oi, Choromatsu, help me with my English homework,” Osomatsu says, gesturing to his bag.
“You got homework already?” he says with a raised eyebrow. “That’s unlucky.”
“I have to do an introduction paper about myself,” he explains. “So you’d be perfect for it.”
“Uh, that totally sounds like something only you can do,” Choromatsu says with a deadpan face.
“Do you need help with it?” Karamatsu offers, face hopeful. “I reckon my English is pretty good, so I can-“
“I’ll take a look at it, but I’m not doing it for you,” Choromatsu says with a sigh. Osomatsu does a cheer, and grins to himself. Yeah, he’s got nothing to worry about. Things aren’t changing, not really.
-
Todomatsu doesn’t really understand what his brothers are doing wrong.
It’s been a while since they started now, but none of them really seemed to have settled. He’s a little creeped out, a little confused, but mostly concerned. In some ways, it’s almost like they’re unable to function without being in their usual group. But it shouldn’t be like that. They all want to be seen as individuals, right? So why are they acting like this? They’ve finally been given this chance they’ve pined for their entire life, but they’re not doing anything with it. It’s ridiculous. Todomatsu is glad at least he managed to break away.
“Hey, you guys wanna go to karaoke tonight?” one of his classmates asks, and Todomatsu glances up from his phone, taking a break from refreshing the page to see if his selfie gets more likes. “It was kind of a tradition for me and my middle school friends to go every Friday, so I thought, why not, y’know?”
“Oooh, I love karaoke!” one of the girls chimes in, sat on the desk and kicking her legs happily. She’s supposed to be on cleaning duty, Todomatsu knows, but she’s managed to rope one of the boys to do it for her, one nobody really knows. “But…there’s a student council meeting on tonight, so I really should go…”
“Oh, you’re in the student council?” Todomatsu asks. “That’s so cool! They only let really the smart and charismatic people join though, so I don’t know why I didn’t guess sooner.”
“Oh my gosh, Totty, stop,” the girl giggles, covering her mouth with her hand. “I dunno, I might quit. It’s becoming kind of a drag. Should I skip the meeting tonight? I bet it’ll be really boring and stuff.”
“Clubs are supposed to be pretty good for your job applications though…” another boy says, frowning in thought. “I was actually kinda thinking about joining one. Dunno what though.”
Todomatsu goes to mention the fact that two of his brothers have joined a club, before realising that isn’t who he is here. And he doesn’t know much else about clubs, so opts to just stay quiet for this part of the conversation.
The others talk about all the different clubs in the school for a while, and Todomatsu carries on with refreshing the page until he hears a part of the conversation he might actually be interested in.
“-but I heard the drama club is only for total weirdos,” the girl laughs, shrugging like she doesn’t really know. “They’re all acting kids, aren’t they?”
“You’re a total drama queen, you’d fit right in,” the boy shoots back jokingly.
“Oh, shut up,” she says, rolling her eyes. “No, but, I saw them all once outside the auditorium and- oh my gosh, that reminds me! Totty, I saw a guy that looks just like you there! It was so weird!”
“Eh? Someone as cute as me?” He blinks, and closes his phone, trying to ignore his hammering heart.
“Yeah, one of those sextuplet kids? Oh my god, it was so embarrassing, he was practising some lines into a mirror but even the other kids were looking at him weird. Cringe!”
Karamatsu. Idiot. “So long as nobody mistook him for me.”
“I almost did, seriously, it was crazy! Are you sure you’re not one of them? They’re meant to be identical, I think. I haven’t seen all of them, I don’t think…it’s hard to tell, since they’re all totally similar.”
“You really think I’m like of those losers?” Todomatsu says, clutching his phone tighter to hide his trembling hands. “No way!”
“Yeah, I was just kidding,” she says lightly, sliding off the table. “Okay, I’ll skip the meeting tonight! I’ll text someone saying I’m sick. So let’s go karaoke! Nobody tell, okay?”
“I’ll try not to,” Todomatsu says with a wink, collecting his school bag. The others probably won’t mind. They’re likely just at home, being boring, doing nothing, complaining about how hard it is to make friends, even though it’s really not.
They’ll be fine in the end though, won’t they? They don’t have the best social skills, but then again, most people don’t, so it shouldn’t be much longer before they start living the same life as himself. And even if they don’t, well, Todomatsu supposes he’ll have to get successful and then come back for them. They’ll just have to be patient and understanding for now so he can-
“Totty, are you coming?” a voice calls to him, and he snaps out of his thoughts, slotting his phone into his blazer pocket and hurrying along after them, smiling apologetically. No time to think about these types of things. Not now.
-
It takes a while for it to become noticeable, but Ichimatsu eventually realises things aren’t really okay anymore.
It’s been over a month since they started high school, but things have just been getting worse. He doesn’t know if it’s the same for the others – he doubts it – but for him, it’s starting to get terrible. School has never been something he’s looked forwards to, but now he completely dreads it, the feeling persisting as they walk to school, when they’re going to sleep, when the weekends end.
It started subtly, really slowly. At first people left him alone, which was fine, but then people seemed to get disturbed by his silent existence, and started making fun. Asking him why he doesn’t speak, calling him weird, talking about him in places they know he can hear. Stuff about the others too sometimes, just vaguely, like ‘isn’t he the one with all the brothers? Are they like that too, or is he just the family freak?’.
He doesn’t care. Not really. It’s not like stuff he doesn’t already know. Of course he’s a freak, he figured that out a long time ago. The others kept finding more to do in life and developing ways of spending their time, but he was left behind or something. His enthusiasm towards life has been fading, and now it’s almost completely gone.
He doesn’t care, no way, but, it still kind of hurts a bit when they say things like that. There’s a voice that helps him hate himself when he feels down, but now they’re all doing it for him, he doesn’t have any way to fight it off. So he just lets them say it and accepts it. Whatever. They can all just go die.
“Don’t you have homework to do?” Choromatsu asks with a confused look. “I haven’t seen you do any in ages.”
Ichimatsu says nothing, head resting on his knees, staring at the floor. The reason for that is because he’s stopped doing it. He doesn’t care anymore. He just wants high school to be over and done with so he can…so he can…
“If you need any help with it, just ask,” Choromatsu says after a pause, sitting down to flip through some stupid idol magazine. “I do all mine at lunch, since I have nothing better to do, so…”
Obviously. He doesn’t have friends either, it’s obvious. None of them do. Isn’t it impossible? But obviously not, Todomatsu did it, lots of other people did it, all the normal kids did it. So why can’t he? No, he doesn’t need to. There’s no point in it, it’s not like they’d stay in touch with him anyway. It’s better like this. Definitely.
“…I’m gonna watch some TV,” Choromatsu tries again, lingering with obvious uncertainty. “Do you want to join?”
“…Sure,” Ichimatsu says then, and stands up tiredly. At least he can still spend time with his brothers. There’s always that. There’s always them. Or, he hopes so.
-
This lesson is boring. Class is boring. High school is boring. This isn’t at all what Osomatsu was expecting after they finished middle school. Sure, they were all starting to become different people, slightly unique from one another, but going this far is just stupid. They were supposed to go around together and get into fights and pick up hot high school girls and Osomatsu could copy Choromatsu’s homework and whatever. And none of that is happening now. And it’s boring.
It was okay at first because the people in his class were amazed by the fact he was a sextuplet, but then it all started to die down after the first few weeks. People don’t care anymore for whatever reason. Idiots. They should be interested in him! What about him isn’t interesting? The best he gets is the occasional laugh at a dirty joke. But all his best ones they just look at him like he’s a freak or something. That’s their problem, he guesses.
This seat’s annoying too, because he can’t look out of the window so there’s nothing to look at. He can’t even sit with his head on the desk and try to sleep either, the teacher won’t let him, so there really is nothing to do at all. There’s stuff on the blackboard he’s supposed to copy down or something, but considering how bored he already is, that doesn’t sound like a good idea. He might die, even.
“For your next task, I’m going to ask that you work in groups,” the teacher says suddenly, and Osomatsu looks up slightly. Group work is great because he doesn’t have to do anything, and he gets to work with his-
Or…not. It’s going to be different now. Well, duh, he knew that.
The teacher appoints everyone into groups of four, and Osomatsu finds himself with three people he’s never really spoken to, people he doesn’t really know anything about. They start talking to one another uncertainly about the work, but it quickly changes topic. He could join in, he reckons. Probably. It wouldn’t be difficult.
“I remember my dad saying something about that – apparently they’re really dangerous.”
“You think so? They don’t look that bad…”
“A friend of mine used to do work in that area, but she quit because of all the incidents.”
“Eh, really? How did she get a job like that?”
“I guess I just know a lot of people like that…”
Osomatsu opens his mouth to interject with a fact about himself, just himself, but it’s actually hard to think of. Talking about jobs or friends or anything seems to link to his brothers some way. Is that normal? It has to be, he guesses. But even though he’s always thought of himself as selfish and egocentric, it’s suddenly very difficult to talk about himself as an individual unit.
…That’s probably the fault of his brothers, isn’t it? They took away his identity, or, something like that.
The group keeps talking amongst themselves, but Osomatsu finds himself even more bored now. He looks around the room for a while, before sighing to himself and putting his head on his hands. Well, whatever. The two girls in this group aren’t even that cute. It doesn’t matter if they like him or not. He wasn’t going to do work anyway.
-
Something has to be done. It’s time for drastic measures. Choromatsu tries desperately to think of a solution, before turning to his brothers for help.
“Burn it,” Ichimatsu says without looking up.
“Mm. Burn it.” Todomatsu nods, tapping his screen absentmindedly.
It’s only the three of them in the room right now, with the others hopefully off doing their homework (he can dream). He knew the advice wouldn’t be exactly what he’d want to hear, but it’s exactly what he expected for sure.
“I…I can’t just burn it all,” Choromatsu tries to reason with them, frowning at the thought of setting all the boxes alight. “It’s probably worth a lot…I could sell it, at least?”
“Niisan, nobody is going to want your old used anime merchandise,” Todomatsu says with a sigh. “If you really don’t want it anymore, and you’re going to completely change as a person, you have to burn it. To ashes.”
The way he says that is very concerning to Choromatsu, especially when spoken with such an innocent gaze. He makes a mental note to ask Osomatsu if their youngest brother has ever shown signs of being a pyromaniac.
“Use some firecrackers to really make it good.”
…And their fourth brother, too.
“I don’t…think I should,” he says eventually, slumping his shoulders. “Maybe I’ll just put in the attic.”
“But then it’s still there!” Todomatsu argues. “You haven’t really done anything at all, you just hid it all.”
“Yeah, but…” He wants to change the topic before his brothers get too into convincing him to burn half his possessions, which they seem far too eager to do now. “Uh, anyway. Are you guys going to see Jyushimatsu’s baseball game next month? He really wants us to go.”
“I feel like I haven’t seen Jyushimatsu-niisan in forever,” Todomatsu says with a thoughtful face, lowering his phone a little from his face. “Same with Karamatsu-niisan, though that isn’t exactly a bad thing.”
“It’s been the same for you too, you know,” Choromatsu mutters, not looking his brother in the eyes. It’s true though. Todomatsu isn’t home most of the time now, always out with his friends. “The other two are just at their clubs a lot. I still see them.”
“Where are they now though?” Todomatsu asks. It’s weird because Choromatsu almost feels as if the question has an accusatory tone, even though it probably doesn’t. Even still, it makes him feel a little guilty giving his answer.
“I don’t know,” he admits. “Maybe Osomatsu-niisan’s upstairs? And the other two are…on the roof?”
“Mm, okay,” Todomatsu says, going back to his texting or whatever it is he’s doing.
“So…are you going?” he tries again.
“Eh? Going to what?”
“Jyushimatsu’s game! Seriously, were you not listening at all just then?”
“I’ll think about it, I guess,” the youngest says, with a shrug. “I might be busy.”
“What the hell,” Ichimatsu says, shooting Todomatsu a dirty look. “We’re all going. Of course we are.”
“Yeah, that’s what I was hoping for,” Choromatsu says with a sigh. The room falls into silence again after that, and it suddenly feels awkward since he was the last to speak. Or, maybe it feels awkward, he’s not sure. It might just be him, but how does he know? No, but, normally he’d know, because he knows his brothers well enough to, but…it’s a little shaky now. There’s a lot Choromatsu isn’t really sure about anymore, about them and himself.
He doesn’t know what to do. Maybe read one of his magazines, but then he’s trying to stop himself liking things like that. And half his brothers don’t seem to be in a talkative mood, whereas the other half he doesn’t even know where they are. So…he’s not sure. It’s kind of annoying, not really knowing what you want to do but having nothing else to do.
-
Jyushimatsu is excited!! Very very excited! He invited all his brothers to come see his first actual ever baseball match, which he’s been training super hard for ever since he joined the club. They don’t normally let first years in serious matches, but apparently his enthusiasm made him too hard to refuse. So there’s that! Jyushimatsu grins happily as he sits on the bench, waiting for his turn to bat. Mostly because once he gets out there on the pitch properly, he’ll be able to see his brothers, cheering him on.
The excitement and anticipation builds up so much, he’s sure he’ll be able to hit at least a thousand homeruns before the first half of the match ends. That’s possible, isn’t it? Probably.
The line in front of him gets shorter and shorter, until suddenly he’s being called out to bat. And he grins widely as he steps out into the pitch, in the hot summer heat and bright sky. He looks across the pitch and to where the crowd are sitting, scanning to look for five familiar faces. Then he notices Karamatsu, Choromatsu, and Ichimatsu. And…that’s it.
He looks around quickly, almost frantically to see if they’re anywhere else, but he doesn’t have much time to look, and he’s sure he definitely can’t see them. The three brothers who are there cheer him on loudly after he hits it, but honestly, it feels like his swing is just a little slower, a little weaker, after noticing not all of them are there.
But…there has to be a good reason! So he doesn’t let it get him down too much. Jyushimatsu smiles wide as he runs, trying to let their encouragement spur him on, but there aren’t as many voices as there should be. He tries to push himself harder so that’ll he win, and they’ll cheer up, even though sliding onto each base stings his cut knees, and drags all the air out of his lungs.
In the end, it turns out not to be quite good enough. It’s close, but, they still manage to lose the match.
-
It’s this dull feeling of disgust that follows him, though Karamatsu manages to hide it well. He doesn’t think this is about him, not really, so he’s better off trying not to get too involved. But then again, it’s his brothers, and he should at least have some involvement in the matter.
The sky is beginning to darken, the sun dipping down behind the houses in the distance. The four of them walk together in silence, though he can’t exactly place why. Maybe they’re angry, or confused, or upset, or all three. Never before has Karamatsu had to deal with such a range of complex emotions all at once. There’s no correct stance to take here, is there? Isn’t it going to go wrong, either way?
At least Jyushimatsu doesn’t look upset, but then that might be more concerning than anything else. He probably should be, but he’s just smiling like everything’s okay, like he won, like they were all there for him, like there are no problems in the world. But Karamatsu can’t judge the honesty behind the smile. He thought he’d be able to now, after everything, but it’s just too hard with Jyushimatsu. He could be thinking anything.
They stop outside the house. Nobody moves, staring straight ahead. A cool breeze rolls past, cutting through the mild air.
“…Are we going in?” Choromatsu says, and Ichimatsu makes a small ‘tch’ing sound.
“Oldest first,” he says, before pushing Karamatsu forwards. It hurts just a little, but he doesn’t mind. Not really.
“Of course, my dear brother,” he says with a bow of his head, before sliding open the door and stepping inside.
Obviously, everything is the same as it was. Nothing in the house has changed, the phone is where it always was, their shoes, the table. It’s quiet. Karamatsu wonders if the other two are even home.
“We’re ba-“
“WE’RE HOME!” Jyushimatsu calls out, seemingly unperturbed by the awkward atmosphere clinging to the air. Before any of them can stop him, he throws the door open and bounds into the front room. Karamatsu follows, and sees their remaining brothers sat on opposite sides of the room. Only Todomatsu looks up.
“How was it?”
“Don’t act like you care,” Ichimatsu spits, narrowing his eyes at the youngest brother.
There’s a brief pause where the two just stare at each other, and the awkwardness triples by the thousands. Karamatsu wonders if he should do something momentarily, but isn’t sure what.
“It was fun!” Jyushimatsu says, grinning at the two of them. That smile has to be forced now, doesn’t it? It’s still too hard to tell. “We didn’t win, but we almost did, so next time we definitely will!”
“Oh, okay.” Todomatsu looks back at his phone. “That’s good then, Niisan! I knew you’d do well-“
“Shut up,” Ichimatsu says, fists clenched. “Stop acting like you haven’t done anything wrong.”
“Ichimatsu-“ Choromatsu tries, but is quickly cut off.
“I haven’t done anything wrong!” Todomatsu counters, scowling at them. “Why are you all ganging up on me, huh? I wasn’t the only one that didn’t go anyway, but none of are you giving Osomatsu shit for it!”
“He only didn’t go because you didn’t!” Ichimatsu exclaims. It’s true. Osomatsu had said there was no point in him going if they weren’t all going, for whatever reason. He sounded so angry when he said it, but…Karamatsu wasn’t expecting him actually not to turn up. For himself, he could understand, but not for Jyushimatsu.
“But everyone can come to my next game-“ Jyushimatsu tries again, but it’s completely ignored. Karamatsu can emphasise.
“You’re all being so unfair, you know? So what, I didn’t do anything wrong, I was just out with my friends! You’d be out with them too if you actually had any!”
“Don’t you even care about Jyushimatsu?! Why didn’t you tell them you were busy? Was it so hard to say you were going to see a brother’s game?”
“I-I-…“ Todomatsu slams his phone down. “You guys are just seriously pathetic! Why are you acting like it’s so terrible that we’re not together all the time anyway? We’re not kids anymore, we don’t have to hang out with only each other! Isn’t this the kind of thing you wanted, huh? We can be individuals now! Why are you acting so heartbroken about it?”
“I’ll kill you!” Ichimatsu grits his teeth and goes to move forwards, before Jyushimatsu jumps in front of him.
“Ichimatsu-niisan, don’t, it’s okay-“
“We should probably just try and calm down-“ Karamatsu tries to say, but it’s blocked out by the yelling. It’s like everyone’s fighting now. It’s not like they’ve never fought before, but now it’s just really miserable to witness. It’s not like before.
“Ichimatsu, you’re overreacting-“
“He doesn’t even care!”
“I bet you don’t either! You’re just all depressed because everyone hates you so you can only hang out with your stupid brothers! Don’t be jealous because I’m better than you!”
“I’ll seriously kill you!!”
“Shut up!!”
Everyone stops for a moment, glancing over at Osomatsu, who’s still facing away from them. Karamatsu feels a sudden spark of hope. He’s the oldest, maybe not the wisest but he knows how to keep the calm a lot of the time. If they’ve argued before he normally sorts it out, even if he was involved, he just laughs it off and they’re all okay again. This time won’t be any different, he’s going to stop them-
“I’m so fed up with all of you guys, y’know?” he says, before turning around with a furious face. “The hell are you even fighting about? Can’t you just hate each other and do it silently? At least shut the hell up so I can try to pretend none of you were actually born!”
“…Eh? Osomatsu-“
“God, you’re so annoying, just shut up already!!” Osomatsu stands up without looking at them, storming across the room. Before he slams the door shut there’s a murmur of the words ‘only child’.
Everyone stares at the door for a few seconds in complete silence, as the words of the eldest sink in amongst them. Karamatsu turns to look at the other five, and the damage is suddenly clear. They’re not six pieces of the same part anymore, they’re individual and separated, far apart and distant.
“…Whatever. I’m going to sleep.” Ichimatsu leaves the room, shoulders slumped. Todomatsu glares at him on the way, before sitting back down and going back to texting whoever he was texting.
“Is this really alright…?” Choromatsu says, glancing around the room unsurely. Karamatsu doesn’t say anything, nor does anyone else. He feels like this might be his fault. He should have seen this coming, he should have stopped it. Next time, next time if anything like this happens, he knows he’ll have to step in before they break apart again. He has to. He’s the second eldest.
“Karamatsu-niisan, Choromatsu-niisan, can you help me with my English homework?” Jyushimatsu looks to them, smile still persistently drawn on his face. “It was actually due in last week, but I forgot all about it ‘cause of the game! Can you help?”
“You shouldn’t leave your homework so late, Jyushimatsu,” Choromatsu says with a sigh.
“Haha, yup!”
“Of course we’ll help! I’ll have you know I’m an English master.” Karamatsu flicks his fringe to emphasise his point, but lowers his hands once he sees how much they’re shaking. He doesn’t think the others noticed.
“You do know your pronunciation is actually awful,” Choromatsu says, and Jyushimatsu laughs. So at least there’s that. There’s something really respectable to Karamatsu about how his younger brother always stops a situation from getting too tense, always managing to keep a smile. He wishes they could have all been like that. He wishes he was like that, not a liar. But then again, they’re all a little dishonest. Even Jyushimatsu.
Karamatsu knows the parts have split; he just hopes they aren’t too broken to put back together again.