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Sae prefers to think his feelings regarding wintertime lean more toward indifference. He doesn't particularly mind the cold even when it's biting and cuts right to the bone. Snow is also lovely in its own way despite him not being fond of it. But it's a welcome disruption in the dreariness of the season.
His favorite time of year is the end of summer where the days gradually become shorter while the weather encourages light layers of clothing. Sae finds comfort in the loneliness of fall and winter, he tells himself time and again. But, if he's honest, winter reminds him a little too much of the night his brother became disillusioned with him.
Large, fluffy snowflakes fall outside the window Sae looks out of from his place on the loveseat. He's rented a cottage with Ryusei for a long weekend, which sounded pleasant at the time, but hadn't thought of the sheer amount of snow he'd have to look at. He senses his boyfriend's longing stare and pout from across the room without even having to glance from the corner of his eye.
"What is it, demon?" Sae asks listlessly, feeling an immediate pang of guilt. But he isn't in the best of moods and doesn't want to also manage Ryusei's as well.
Ryusei perks up from where he's awkwardly leaning against the doorframe of the den and bounds up to him like some overeager puppy. Sae snorts when his boyfriend pauses at the edge of the loveseat, looking down at Sae questionably. Ryusei's asking for permission like a good boy, therefore he can be granted a reward.
"Sit," Sae commands, and Ryusei plops down next to him, planting a big kiss on his cheek.
"Well? What's got you pouting?"
"You're ignoring me."
"You actually expect us to be glued to each other for this entire weekend?"
"Well, that's kind of the point, babe."
"Stop calling me that."
"I knew you were in a mood. What's the matter?"
"It's snowing," Sae says bluntly, as if that's supposed to explain everything. He still struggles opening up to Ryusei, still doesn't know how to show vulnerability with someone who's able to love him so unconditionally.
"Yeah, wanna build a snow fort?" Ryusei asks with a laugh, all traces of his pout completely vanished from his expression.
"I'll pass, but you go for it."
"Aww, but it's no fun without ya. Hmm…want to snuggle up underneath the covers instead?"
Sae fights the urge to say no. He doesn't know why his instincts want him to continue being difficult and closed off. Especially when all Ryusei is trying to do is cheer him up. Even if he thinks he really would prefer some space to himself at the moment.
"Come on," he relents, stroking Ryusei's hand.
Visibly brightening, Ryusei pulls Sae up from the loveseat, practically dragging him toward the bedroom. He lifts up the covers and crashes onto the bed, patting his chest as an invitation for Sae to join him.
Sae restrains a smile, though he's unsure why. He doesn't need to act so nonchalant anymore. Ryusei is his boyfriend now, has proven his willingness to crash down the walls Sae puts up as a front. He should try to reciprocate more affection, starting tomorrow. Right now, Ryusei will have to settle for Sae's body heat underneath these covers.
Crawling into bed with his boyfriend, Sae settles onto his chest while Ryusei pulls the covers over them, cradling Sae's face close.
"Your heart's beating fast," Sae states, doing his best to maintain casualness in his tone, as though he's simply making an observation.
"It's all your fault, Sae-chan. I love you."
Sae swallows thickly. It isn't like it's the first time he's heard those words and he isn't so cold as to have never said them back in the months they've been together, but such tenderness now when he's feeling shitty and cold and vulnerable makes him more emotional than he likes.
"It's okay if you don't feel like saying it back today. I know you've got other things on your mind, but you don't have to talk about them. Just lay here with me till you forget about whatever's going through your head or you can't stand me anymore. Whichever comes first. Though I won't let you go without a fight," Ryusei says with a wink.
Sae allows a smile, knowing Ryusei can feel the curve of his lips against his skin. But he no longer cares. Wants him to know, actually. Turning his face toward the window, he watches the snow come down heavier.
He'll tell Ryusei he loves him later. But right now, he thinks he'll sleep for a bit, savoring the warmth of being tucked snugly in Ryusei's arms.