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Michael knew that something was up as soon as Gregory started asking to go to some boy’s house more often than not. Gregory’s first semester of high school had just finished – something Michael was still trying to wrap his head around. Over the first few months, the boy started to mention a few names from time to time: Cassie, Ellis, and Tony. It was the last name that got brought up the most.
It was always, “Tony this” and “Tony that”. Though he’d never met the kid, Michael felt like he knew far more about Tony than he ever would have thought possible. Michael wasn’t sure if allowing Gregory to visit the other all the time, spending nights at Tony’s house, was the best idea, but Jeremy assured him that everything would be okay. Besides, Gregory still had his Fazwatch so if anything were to happen there would be an immediate alert.
Michael maneuvered around the kitchen one afternoon, sipping a cup of coffee that he couldn’t taste all that much. Screw the whole being half-dead thing. He couldn’t even enjoy life’s simple pleasures anymore. Gregory was once again out with his friends, though this time at least they were doing some sort of school project for their robotics class.
Michael told himself that it was fine, that his kid was growing and that was completely normal. After all, it was good that Gregory was getting out, making friends, instead of being tucked away at home all the time.
Still, he was nervous.
The front door opened. “I’m home!” Jeremy called out from the entranceway. There was a rumble as Mangle scattered across the floor – acting more like a dog than the amalgamation of parts that they were. Michael could never wrap his head around how Jeremy could be so friendly with the animatronic given the whole frontal lobe incident.
Jeremy pet Mangle’s head as he came into the kitchen. “Gre-Gregory already gone?” He pressed a kiss to Michael’s cheek in passing.
“He took the bus with Tony.” Michael couldn’t help but let annoyance lace his voice. Logically, he knew there was nothing wrong with Tony – as far as he was aware – Gregory was happy to be around the other, but Michael was scared. Absolutely terrified if he was being honest.
Jeremy paused from where he was about to grab a drink from the fridge. “S-something wrong with Tony?”
Michael took a breath. “Nothing’s wrong.”
Mangle continued to stumble around the kitchen, nudging their head against the man’s thigh. Michael rolled his eyes and ran his hand along the animatronics smooth plastic.
Jeremy came up behind him and wrapped his arms around Michael’s middle. “Sounds like som-someone’s being a bit o-overprotective.”
Michael could practically hear the smirk in the other’s voice. “I think I’ve more than earned the right to be overprotective as you said.”
Jeremy pressed a line of kisses along Michael’s neck. “Why don’t you a-ask Gregory to invite the bo-boy over, he could bring Cassie a-and Ellis too so it’s less awkward.”
Pausing for a moment, Michael thought it over. Inviting Tony over would help quite a bit, that way he would be able to get a better image of who the kid was – especially if Tony was going to be hanging around Gregory so much. He sighed. “Alright then, let’s see how this will go.”
***
Gregory shut the subject down whenever either Michael or Jeremy tried to bring it up. His cheeks would grow flush, he’d start to stutter, and he’d quickly leave the room – often saying he was off to do something for school.
Michael didn’t buy it. He laid in bed one night staring at the ceiling for hours. There was something going on with Gregory, more than just annoyance that his fathers were asking about his friends. Michael had gone through his own fair share of teenage angst, but this didn’t feel like that – at least not completely. Gregory had stopped talking about Tony as much. He still brought up Ellis and Cassie quite often, but he changed the subject when someone brought up Tony.
Had there been a falling out between them?
Jeremy shifted and let out a long breath. “Mikey go to bed.” He nuzzled his head deeper into Michael’s neck.
The man’s hair tickled his skin. “Trust me, love, I’m trying to.”
With a shift, Jeremy propped himself up on his arm. “You’re overthinking som-something.”
Michael smiled. Jeremy knew him better than anyone else in the world – that was the kind of relationship someone got when they spent decades with their partner. It was nice to not have to say anything at all, and Jeremy still knew what was going on inside his head. But right now, there was a mess in his head that nobody could piece through. “It’s about Gregory.”
Jeremy gave a soft smile. “Let me guess, you’re worried about his little crush?”
Michael’s brow furrowed. “Crush?”
“You didn’t realize? Are you serious?” Jeremy stifled a laugh and shook his head. “I made a joke about it to Gregory once, and his face went completely red, kid’s embarrassed as all hell.”
Pieces began to fit together in Michael’s head. All the times he’d seen Gregory seem more embarrassed than usual. The refusal to allow Tony over – and his immediate switch-up whenever the other boy was as little as mentioned. He couldn’t believe that he had missed it.
Jeremy gripped his shoulder. “Holy shit yo-you really didn’t realize.”
Now it was Michael’s turn to sit up. “I just thought he was being a bit awkward. Starting high school isn’t the easiest thing – new school, new people, new friends.”
“N-new crush too.”
Mike’s eyes fell closed as he bit his tongue. He couldn’t believe he missed such a massive thing. This was one of the few normal things that Michael had a bit of experience with – back in high school he had a terrible crush on one of his friends who was straight. So, obviously, that didn’t exactly work out. “My god.”
Jeremy’s expression softened as he recognized the genuine worry across the other’s face. “The kid’s grow-growing up, Mikey.” He wrapped his arms around Michael’s torso. “He’s not so little anymore.”
It was impossible to believe. Michael could remember the day they’d found Gregory in the Pizzaplex. Though it was only a few years ago, it felt like a lifetime. Gregory had been so small – and he still sort of was due to his time spent on the streets. That wasn’t exactly the best place to spend your developmental years. Michael could recall in perfect detail what it had been like to hold the kid close once he’d finally warmed up to living in the Fitzgerald household.
Soon enough Gregory would be going through the true teenage angst years. He wouldn’t want to spend as much time with his fathers. Michael’s heart jumped. He hoped that Gregory wouldn’t be the same kind of teenager that he had been. Anything but that.
“D-darling, you need to stop worrying before you ha-have a panic attack.” Jeremy rested his ear against Michael’s chest and traced the scars laced across his skin. “I know it’s sa-sad seeing him grow up.”
Michael swallowed. “I don’t want to mess this up.”
“You ha-haven’t so far.”
“That’s not true at all.” There were plenty of times over the years when he’d said or done something extremely stupid. Michael wasn’t going to lie about that. He was certainly ashamed of his actions. No matter what, he always wanted what was best for his son. Even if he wouldn’t admit it from the start, he knew he loved Gregory from the moment he laid his eyes on the boy. Michael wanted to protect him from all the terrible things in the world.
“Show-showing you’re open to Tony m-might help.” Jeremy teased, tapping his fingers across Michael’s shoulder.
“I could certainly try,” Michael said, huffing out a laugh. He couldn’t believe it, his little boy, all grown-up. He might have a boyfriend soon, maybe he already did, and he was too nervous to say it.
That caused a flash of guilt to rush through his body. No. Michael refused to create the sort of environment that made his son nervous to talk about his partners. He’d grown up in a time like that – the 80s weren’t exactly the most forgiving time to be a gay man in America – and he swore that he would never treat someone else like that.
After speaking with Jeremy, it was easier to shut his eyes and be lulled away in the world of sleep. Michael’s dreams were filled with possible situations on how his conversation with Gregory would go – ranging from fairly realistic to absolutely insane. His mind was preparing itself for what was to come, but even then, it wasn’t perfect. Michael couldn’t read the future, though he really wished that he could have.
It would have made things a lot easier.
***
Gregory shifted on the couch and dove impossible deeper into his book. “Yeah, sure, whatever. I’ll see when he’s free.”
Jeremy raised a brow as he looked over at Michael.
Yeah. That was a clear sign of a crush.
***
Michael didn’t know what it was about the situation that put him so on edge, but he began to think that he was more nervous for Tony to come over than Gregory was. That didn’t make any sense. Of course it didn’t. He was supposed to be the adult in this situation, have a clear head, be the looming figure over the two – not that he was actually planning on that or anything, but that was what society would have wanted of him.
But standing in the kitchen making dinner, he felt like he was about to be put on a stage and forced to perform in front of a live audience without any practice. This was a different kind of anxiety than stepping into Freddy's. At least there he knew what to expect, for the most part.
Speaking with his son’s possible boyfriend? Nobody prepared him for that. How does one even prepare themselves for that?
“I think that’s e-enough stove time fo-for you.” Jeremy guided Michael away from the stove and sat him down in one of the kitchen chairs. “I’ll finish up, o-okay?”
Michael took a breath. “Okay.” That was probably for the best. There was no use in screwing up dinner too. He stayed at the table until Jeremy was finished, listening to the man ramble on about anything his mind came to. At one point he gave up on rambling and started singing some 80s song that they both used to listen to on repeat. It brought a smile to his face.
Then the doorbell rang.
“I’ll get it!” Gregory came barreling down the stairs to answer the door.
“Showtime.” Jeremy set the still steaming bowl of pasta on the table.
God, Michael hated showtime. Still, he got to his feet so as to make a better impression on Tony.
Gregory came down the hall, head a little ducked, and looking awkward as ever. “This is Tony. Tony, my dads.”
“Thanks for inviting me over, Mr. and Mr. Fitzgerald.” At least the kid had manners, that was a good sign.
Jeremy waved his hand. “Jeremy and Michael i-is fine. Dinner’s ready if-if you boys are hun-hungry.”
In a blur that Michael couldn’t fully comprehend, dinner began. Jeremy, to his credit, did the best he could at keeping the conversation going. He asked about school, if Tony was in any clubs, what kind of things he and Gregory got up to. Michael tried to listen, he really did, but the entire time all he could do was worry if he was doing the right things. Clearly he already screwed up since Gregory didn’t feel comfortable talking about his crush. How great of a parent could he really be if his kid couldn’t even talk about stuff like that?
He made eye contact with Gregory for a split second, and the disappointment was hard to miss.
Michael was ruining everything. He thought he could be a good father, that he could make up for all the things he’d done in his past, but that wasn’t the case. Not at all. He was a bad person to his core, and this dinner was just proving that.
Michael clenched his jaw. He just had to make it through this dinner.
***
A few days passed. The house was tense. None of Gregory’s friends came over. It felt wrong, immensely so, for the house to be so devoid of the life it once had.
Michael was in the garage tinkering away. At least with the animatronics he knew he wouldn’t screw up. There was always some fine tuning that needed to be done, upkeep so that they all stayed in working order. It helped to soothe him.
The garage door creaked open and the sound of light footsteps echoed through the room. “Dad?”
Michael lifted his head and turned in his chair. “Gregory, um, do you need anything?” Damn, his little boy really did look all grown up.
Gregory shook his head but walked over to the large workshop table. He hopped up onto it and swung his legs back and forth as he sat. Michael had long learned that there was no use in telling him that the table wasn’t a chair.
A few minutes passed in complete, terrible awkward, silence.
“Do you hate Tony?” Gregory’s voice wobbled.
Michael dropped his things. “What? No, of course not. He seems like a nice kid.” Way nicer than Michael had been as a child.
Gregory pursed his lips. “I… It just seems like you don’t like him, that’s all.” He shook his head. “Dad, Tony, he’s… I mean-”
Michael turned his entire body to face Gregory. He put a hand on the boy’s knee. Both of them were shaking. “It’s alright, kid. I already know.” He smiled, a real smile this time.
Gregory looked up with hopeful eyes. “You do?”
Michael nodded. “I was the same way when I was your age. Especially when I thought about my father knowing.” Terrible words infiltrated his mind. “I’m sorry if I ever made you feel that way.”
“No, no,” Gregory frantically shook his head, “God, no. It’s just-ugh!” His head dropped into his hands. “It’s embarrassing, Dad.”
“That’s all?”
“I guess.” The boy shrugged. “I mean, I kinda assumed you’d be accepting and all. You’d be a massive hypocrite if you weren’t,” Gregory pointed out.
Michael thought about it for a moment. “Well, yes, I guess I would be.”
Both of them took a few breaths and a minute to compose themselves.
Gregory shifted. “So you definitely don’t hate Tony?”
Michael laughed. “Of course not.” His eyes narrowed. “Unless he’s done something that should make me hate him.”
“No, he hasn’t. Tony… Tony’s great.” Gregory’s cheeks grew flush again as he looked down at the garage floor. “You’re pretty great too, I guess.”
Michael could practically hear the eyeroll, but that didn’t make the impact any less heartwarming. He wrapped his son in a hug – the Gregory only tried to fight his way out of for a split second – and sighed. Maybe he wasn’t so much like his father after all.