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All Yuji had wanted to do was cuddle up with his boyfriend and watch The Lego Batman Movie. The movie was a classic piece of cinema that he was eager to show Megumi, yet everything seemed to go wrong the minute Yuji pulled the disk out from his dusty movie pile.
First of all, Megumi didn’t seem as excited to watch the movie as Yuji was. The teen didn’t understand how anyone could show hesitance to watch the movie. It was an easy five out of five stars!
Seeing Yuji pout, Megumi went on to explain that his father, Satoru Gojo, could recite every line from the movie by heart and would use it to annoy Megumi and his sisters. Yuji was still confused as to why that would be annoying (Yuji found it rather impressive, actually), but he begrudgingly put down the disk and opted to compromise by watching The Dark Knight instead (the lesser Batman movie).
The two made popcorn before embracing one another on Yuji’s shitty old basement couch and hitting play. They were approximately forty-five minutes into the movie when Megumi’s phone rang. Yuji paused the movie with a groan as the other teen flipped his phone over to see the caller ID. Upon reading Dad, also known as Satoru Gojo, Megumi immediately hung up.
Twenty seconds later, Megumi received another call. This time, it was from Papa, also known as Megumi’s other dad, Suguru Gojo. This time, Megumi answered.
“Megumi! How dare you hang up on your dear old dad like that!” Satoru spoke on the other end of the call, having used his husband’s phone.
“What do you want?”
“Does a straw have one hole or two?”
Megumi hung up again.
Once again, Yuji wrapped his arm around Megumi, pulling him in close as they continued the movie. Thirty minutes later, just as Yuji thought they were free from interruptions, Yuji’s brother obnoxiously announced that he was home from work.
Sukuna’s post-high school years had gone pretty much as expected. Instead of attending university, he enrolled in culinary school to become a chef and was now an apprentice. Yuji still remembered the first time Sukuna became infatuated with cooking. They were both in elementary school, waiting for their dad to cook breakfast. Bored out of their minds, Sukuna had turned on the TV, and Hell’s Kitchen happened to be playing. Ever since then, Sukuna had idolized Gordon Ramsay and aspired to become just like him.
He had even started calling Yuji an idiot sandwich whenever he tried to help out in the kitchen.
Yuji had to remind himself sometimes that Sukuna was his older brother and only teased him out of love—because just as he was getting cosy with Megumi, Sukuna stomped downstairs and decided to sit his fat ass right between the couple. Forced into an uncomfortable position, Yuji had no choice but to part from Megumi.
“You couldn’t have sat literally anywhere else?” Yuji asked, annoyed by his older brother’s antics.
“Why would I sit on the floor?”
“Bro, there’s literally a sofa chair like two feet away from us—”
“So?”
Yuji felt like ripping his hair out, mentally revoking Sukua of his big brother card. Worst of all, Megumi seemed to be enjoying their little bickering session as if it were more entertaining than The Dark Knight. Yuji digressed; the only movie more entertaining than The Dark Knight was The Lego Batman Movie.
“You couldn’t have put on the Lego Batman Movie instead?” Sukuna commented.
Yuji promptly reinstated Sukuna’s big brother card.
They continued watching the movie in silence for a while. Sukuna obnoxiously manspreading between the couple while stealing popcorn straight from Yuji’s bowl.
Fed up, Yuji turned the bowl away from him. “Why do you only steal from my bowl? Megumi has barely even touched his popcorn.”
Sukuna huffed. “Megs doesn’t even put butter on his popcorn. You think I’m gonna eat that nasty shit?”
Before Yuji could comment on the quality of Megumi’s popcorn (he agreed with Sukuna, but he couldn’t just say that), he heard the front door open upstairs. Megumi seemed to hear it too.
“Is that Kento?”
“Well, unless we’re being fucking invaded—”
“Sukuna—”
Suddenly, a deep voice that was decidedly not Kento Nanami’s sounded from upstairs. “Sorry to intrude.”
“What the fuck,” Yuji whispered.
“I fucking told you,” Sukuna whispered back.
“No fucking way you actually predicted that—”
“There’s an intruder upstairs and all you two can do is argue? Are you serious?” Megumi scolded the brothers.
Yuji hung his head in shame. Guilt aside, there was a far more pressing issue than arguing with Sukuna—one that was now walking down the Nanamis’ creaky basement stairs.
Just as Yuji finally had the senseto call the police, a different, more familiar voice rang out.
“Sukuna, Yuji, are you two down here?”
Yuji got off the couch and looked toward the staircase. Two men were walking down: one was his father, and the other was a complete stranger. The stranger was tall—roughly Kento’s height—but much paler, with messy brown hair tied into two space pigtails atop his head. Yuji was no stranger to tattoos (Sukuna had about a hundred), but this guy had a thick black bar inked across his nose, which was… certainly a choice.
“Ah, there you are.” Nanami commented upon seeing him. “You look confused.”
Yuji blinked. Once. Twice. Three times, just to be dramatic.
“Of course he’s fucking confused,” Sukuna said as he joined his brother, Megumi close behind. “Who the fuck is that?”
Kento mirrored Yuji’s blinking, though with far less mastery. “Did you not read my text?”
Yuji had silenced his phone for the movie, but he noticed Sukuna had been scrolling through his own occasionally. Yuji wondered how he’d missed the text.
As if reading his mind, Sukuna answered, “I muted the family group chat. Yuji sends too many selfies.”
Yuji was very proud of his selfies, thank you very much.
“Anyway,” Kento interrupted before they could start arguing, “I sent a message explaining that I would be home late because I had to pick up our guest.”
“Hello,” the guest offered helpfully.
Kento gestured to him. “This is Choso. Yuji, he’s your brother.”
Pause.
Brother?
He already had one of those—Sukuna—and Yuji was pretty damn sure he’d been the last baby his mom had managed to pump out before dying tragically alongside their dad. Unless Choso was his secret twin… though based on looks alone, Choso was definitely older than Yuji.
Maybe they were twins, and being separated from Yuji had been slowly draining Choso’s life force—explaining why he looked so much older!
Kento frowned, reading his thoughts like Sukuna had earlier. “Half-brother, to be more accurate.”
“My mother was Kaori Kamo—er, Itadori,” Choso explained. She had me a few years before marrying Jin Itadori, but I was never raised by her. Hell, I didn’t even know who my birth mother was until a few weeks ago.”
Yuji noticed Sukuna’s brow furrow. Much like Choso, Sukuna didn’t know who his birth mother was either. Sukuna and Yuji did not share the same mom. Jin had been in a previous relationship before Kaori, resulting in Sukuna. However, Sukuna had been raised by Kaori from ages one to four and still remembered her fondly.
Yuji, on the other hand, had no memories of his parents. He’d only been a few months old when they died.
Sometimes, Sukuna or Kento—who had been close friends with his parents before their passing—would speak of Kaori and Jin affectionately, and Yuji would feel jealous. Rationally, he knew he had no right to be; he’d never even met them. Still, the feeling lingered.
Sukuna would tell stories of Jin hauling him around the living room while Kaori chased them, pretending to be the “tickle monster.” Other times, Nanami would talk about Jin’s love of films or Kaori’s unbeatable karaoke voice.
Yuji couldn’t help but wonder what his parents would have been like with him.
Megumi, bless his heart, noticed Yuji’s distant expression and gently rubbed his shoulder. Yuji grabbed his hand, holding it tightly.
“I—we had a few brothers as well, but they passed away not too long ago,” Choso continued. “When I found out Kaori was also dead, I assumedI had no living family left. That was until I ventured onto this magical website.”
“Magical website?” Yuji asked.
“The BookFace.”
“BookFace?”
“I think he means Facebook,” Megumi supplied helpfully.
“No, that does not make sense,” Choso argued. “Books can have faces, but faces cannot have books.”
“He means FaceBook,” Nanami clarified. “He found Kaori’s old Facebook page, saw that I was tagged in one of her posts, and messaged me asking if I knew anything about her.”
Yuji could only imagine. Choso didn’t seem like the social media type—and was clearly socially awkward as hell—so it was a miracle he’d managed to send a DM at all. Kento, meanwhile, was notoriously sceptical. Yuji struggled to picture how Choso had convinced him he wasn’t a world-class stalker.
In Yuji’s head, the conversation would have gone something like this:
Choso: Hello, Nanami Kento of BookFace. Tell me what you know of Kaori Itadori.
Kento Nanami: Who the fuck are you?
Choso: Choso.
Kento Nanami: If you want to prank someone, do it elsewhere. Goodbye.
Choso: Wait! She is my mother.
Kento Nanami: Kaori Itadori is your mother? Kaori Itadori is dead.
Choso: I know. R.I.P.
Kento Nanami: Goodbye.
Choso: No. You cannot go. You have not told me about Kaori Itadori yet. She is my mother.
Kento Nanami: Look, I understand pranks can be funny but dragging a dead woman into the punchline is disrespectful. I hope you learn maturity in the future, and will respectively leave me alone.
Choso: No. I need to know about my mother. I have no family. Please help.
Kento Nanami: Unless you can prove you are the son of Kaori, I have nothing to tell you. Once again, I will reiterate that your prank is going too far.
Choso: [Image Attached]
Choso: I tracked down my orphanage records. It says the person who relinquished my brothers and I was named Kaori Kamo, who later changed her last name to Itadori.
Kento Nanami: That is a photo of a McDonalds receipt.
Choso: Oh. Sorry.
Choso: [Imaged Attached]
Nanami Kento: Oh.
“Then I learned of you, brother,” Choso said, snapping Yuji out of his imagination. “I asked to meet you, and here we are.”
“Hold on,” Sukuna intervened, his tone unfamiliar (annoyance? scepticism?). “How do we know you didn’t forge those orphanage documents?”
“I called the facility to verify them,” Kento said calmly. “Their records matched.”
Sukuna’s eyes narrowed. “Okay, maybe they’re real. But why now? How do we know he’s not here to steal Yuji’s inheritance? Or drag him into some drug ring?”
“I conducted a full background check,” Kento replied. “No criminal history. I met with him privately and questioned his intentions. Honestly, I think he just wanted to meet his only remaining family.”
“Was he hooked up to a lie detector during this interrogation?”
“Sukuna—”
“You never know!”
Yuiji was confused, to say the least. He did not understand Sukuna’s hostility. Sukuna knew better than anyone that Kento was over protective—he wouldn’t have brought Choso to their house if he’d suspected anything.
Yet as days passed and Yuji reluctantly got to know Choso, Sukuna only grew worse.
Sometimes Yuji would come home from school to find Choso sitting on the front steps. More than once, he realized Sukuna had arrived home first, seen him there, and never—not once—invited him inside.
Yuji would eventually bring Choso in himself, feeling guilty, and suggest they play video games together. You know. Bonding.
Unfortunately, Choso sucked ass at video games.
Like, total ass.
“Choso, you need an iron pickaxe to farm diamonds. Iron. Not wood.”
Or—
“No, Choso, you’re not supposed to shoot that guy, he’s in our squad. We're trying to get a Victory Royale here!”
Sukuna, of course, found all of Choso’s failures hilarious. Sukuna didn’t even like Fortnite. Not until Yuji started playing it with Choso, anyway. Now, he frequently played the game with or without Yuji. He was pretty good at it, too.
One time, Choso, Sukuna, Megumi, and Yuji had been playing Super Smash Brothers together. Yuji had destroyed Megumi in a few rounds, only to later be destroyed by Sukuna himself, leaving—somehow—Choso and Sukuna to duke it out. To Choso’s credit, he was evading Sukuna’s attacks like a pro; he just couldn’t land any attacks himself, leaving them stuck in a long, annoying standoff.
Yuji had gotten hella bored watching Choso unintentionally ragebait Sukuna and instead opted to take Megumi upstairs to his bedroom and, well… play a game of smash in there too (wink wink).
Almost an hour later, as Yuji walked and Megumi limped back downstairs, they had entered the living room just in time to see Isabelle (Choso) absolutely knock the shit out of Bowser (Sukuna). Yuji felt like a proud teacher watching Choso’s first ever video game victory—especially since it was against Sukuna.
He then had to talk Sukuna out of smashing his controller over Choso’s head.
Yuji had also gotten Choso interested in his trashy movies (he didn’t consider them trashy, but everyone else did for some reason. What was their beef with Human Earthworm??). So far, they’d watched White Chicks, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and the entire Shrek series.
Yuji had been trying to introduce Choso to The Lego Batman movie (again, the best piece of cinema in existence), but every time they were about to start, Sukuna somehow got in the way. He suddenly needed the TV to study culinary videos. He needed to reroute the Wifi box. He needed Yuji’s help getting groceries. The list went on.
Yuji swore he heard Kento bring up Sukuna’s weird anti–Choso & Yuji Lego Batman agenda one day, to which Sukuna responded, “Because it’s our thing, not theirs.”
Whatever that meant.
Yuji even invited Choso to go to the gym with him after the man failed to open a pickle jar—one Yuji was pretty sure he’d once seen Megumi’s frail sister, Tsumiki, open with ease.
“It’s okay to start small,” Yuji told him in the gym’s changing room, his back turned. “We all need to start somewhere—”
Yuji cut himself off when he turned around.
See, Choso was particularly fond of baggy clothing that hid his figure. But there he was, shirtless, sporting the most rock-hard six-pack Yuji had ever seen.
What the fuck??
“You— The pickle jar?”
“Hm?”
“You’re fucking ripped, man! You couldn’t open a pickle jar, I thought—”
Choso’s expression darkened. “Pickle jars are evil, Yuji. Their only purpose is to humiliate all who dare attempt to open them.”
“I’m pretty sure their only purpose is to feed you pickles.”
“No.”
“Okay…”
Sometimes Yuji knew it wasn’t worth arguing with Choso. Despite being awkward, Choso could also be stubborn as hell. Yuji witnessed that stubbornness firsthand once they left the changeroom.
As if summoned by some demonic ritual, Sukuna was running on one of the gym’s treadmills. Normally, Sukuna being at the gym wouldn’t have been weird—he was a large, muscular guy, after all. Except Yuji knew which gym he and Sukuna usually went to, and it definitely wasn’t this one.
Choso either didn’t notice Sukuna—or noticed him immediately—because he hopped onto the treadmill beside him and set his speed exactly 0.1 higher. Not long after, Sukuna noticed and raised his speed by 0.1. Then Choso raised his again. Then Sukuna did too.
Point taken.
Soon, both were running far too fast for far too long, neither willing to back down. Yuji begged them to stop, to take a break, to drink water—anything—but they ignored him entirely. Which was how both Sukuna and Choso ended up on the floor at the same time once the speed caught up to them.
Yuji sighed, stepped over the two idiots, and went to lift some weights.
They followed him.
Choso picked up a 20-pound weight. Sukuna grabbed a 30-pound one. Choso switched to 40. Sukuna—
Yuji was done. He refused to be terrorized any longer in ways he couldn’t even begin to explain.
As he entered the changeroom, Sukuna and Choso followed.
Yuji sighed. “How did you get so buff anyway, Choso?”
“My girlfriend,” Choso replied. “She challenged me to lift more than her. I failed, so I vowed to get stronger. I still failed.”
“You have a girlfriend?”
Thus, Yuji met Yuki Tsukomo.
At first, he couldn’t wrap his head around how she and Choso were a couple. She was taller than Choso, with long blonde hair and a strong figure that made Yuji certain she could open any pickle jar in her way. Personality wise, she was loud; he was quiet. She was shameless; he was awkward. She was flirty; he couldn’t flirt to save his life.
Then, Yuji thought about how different he and Megumi were and supposed that Choso’s relationship really wasn’t that weird afterall.
They were currently having dinner together at some fancy restaurant—a double date between Megumi and Yuji, and Yuki and Choso.
Plus Sukuna. For some reason.
“Why are you here again?” Yuji asked his brother, head craning toward him.
“Why not?”
“Because no one invited you?”
“Aw, it’s fine, he was probably just lonely and wanted to join,” Yuki laughed. Despite having just met Sukuna, she had no shits to give when it came to poking fun at him.
“I am not lonely.”
“Then, why are you the only single one here?” Choso asked, tilting his head in confusion.
Yuji figured that Choso’s question was genuine. Lots of single people were lonely. He had been a lonely single person once. Sukuna, however, had a different interpretation.
“The fuck did you just say?”
“That you’re the only single one here?”
They got kicked out of the restaurant.
Which was fine, in retrospect, since Megumi was the only one who could afford the bill and Yuji would have felt bad making him pay for (Sukuna) everyone. Megumi had insisted anyway. He had even chosen the location. Something about wanting to spend Satoru’s money.
They ended up at McDonalds. Megumi still paid for everyone.
“Jeez, you’re lucky to be dating such a rich guy, Yuji,” Yuki said, wiping her mouth of any ketchup she had gathered from her McDouble. “Infinite McDonald’s hack.”
Sukuna, as a responsible chef, frowned. “You are not going to force Megumi to buy you McDonald’s infinitely."
“Why not? This shit’s bussin,” Yuji said between McNuggets.
“Right,” Sukuna replied, eating a plain chicken McWrap (boring). “Ask me that again when you’re fat and bald.”
“Why would eating McDonald’s make him bald?” Choso asked, one brow raised.
“It happened to my bro Jogo once.”
Yuji blinked. “That’s how Jogo ended up bald?!”
“I would never let you get bald, Yuji,” Choso said, a serious expression adorned his face.
“Thanks?”
“You’d never let Yuji get bald? I’ve been preventing his baldness for seventeen years,” Sukuna challenged.
“And I will be preventing his baldness for the next seventeen years.”
“Not if I do it first!”
They were kicked out of McDonald’s too. At least Yuji still had his hair.
The next time Yuji saw Yuki Tsukumo was when she invited him to Choso’s surprise twenty-third birthday party. He’d been specifically asked to bring Megumi and Kento.
So Yuji wanted to know why the hell Sukuna was there.
Safe to say, Yuji was even more surprised than Choso was.
Thankfully, Sukuna behaved for most of the party. He even brought homemade snacks and swore on their father that he hadn’t poisoned them—which sounded exactly like something someone who had poisoned the food would say.
The food wasn’t poisoned. Yuji’s patience, however, was wearing thin about an hour into the celebration.
Yuji had Megumi on the dance floor, hand in hand. Choso and Yuki were dancing nearby. Even Kento had been dragged onto the floor by a small group of Yuki’s friends who had insisted he have some fun. Only Sukuna remained off to the side, looking grumpy as hell.
Yuji ignored him.
“Want to dance with Choso and Yuki?” Megumi asked him once the sappy romance song playing had finished and a pop-dance one followed.
With no reason not to, Yuji pulled Megumi across the floor until they were face to face with the couple of the hour.
“May I have this dance?” Megumi asked Yuki, feigning the voice of a respected gentleman and holding his hand out to her.
Yuji suspected he had ulterior motives of letting Yuji spend some time alone with the birthday boy, furthering the bonding thing they had going on.
“Oh, how I have dreamed for this moment!” Yuki dramatically sighed, matching his act. “Of course, my prince.”
As they left, Yuji turned to Choso, who unexpectedly had his hand held out for Yuji much like Megumi had. “May I have this dance?”
“Fuck off,” Yuji laughed, taking it anyway.
Needless to say, by this point Yuji felt quite close to Choso. Sure, Choso had entered his life under quite bizarre circumstances, but he was… nice. Fun. Awkward in a way Yuji liked. They shared similar interests, and Choso knew how to respect his boundaries.
Then someone grabbed Yuji’s shoulder.
“Choso Kamo, I dare you to a dance battle!” Sukuna yelled, gaining the attention of the entire crowd. “Loser never speaks to Yuji again!”
What?
“Hold on, that’s not necessary—” Yuji tried to cut in. His efforts were to no avail.
“Deal,” Choso answered, dead serious.
Thus, five minutes later the dance floor was cleared of everyone but Choso and Sukuna. Yuki stood off to the side as the designated announcer, and Yuji was forcibly sat on a front row chair as the designated judge.
“To our right, Choso Kamo—fast, precise, and determined! To our left, Sukuna Nanami—strong, ruthless, and five seconds away from murdering me!” Yuki announced with confidence and a slight tinge of fear.
Yuji grimaced as K-Pop blared out of the speakers, prompting Sukuna and Choso to start their battle. They moved to the beat of the music, attempting to pull off flashy poses to impress their judge.
Yuji had no idea who was the better dancer, and not because they were both super good, but because they were both super bad.
Yuji grimaced as Choso and Sukuna aggressively tried to out worm one another on the dirty floor. Yuji was fairly certain he’d seen someone spill beer on it just a second ago—
“Can I ban them both from speaking to me?” Yuji muttered to himself.
“No,” Megumi giggled, “But I think you should put an end to this before it gets out of hand.”
Yuji agreed, rushing onto the dance floor and situating himself between the two angry men. “Okay, that’s enough!”
“You’ve already decided a winner?” Choso asked.
“Duh, obviously it’s me.” Sukuna commented, puffing out his chest with a smirk on his face.
“I highly doubt that.”
“No, you both suck! Can you two stop being, I don’t know, so weird? It’s like you two cannot be in the same room without constantly challenging one another! Seriously, why are you guys like this?”
“What do you mean?” Sukuna asked. “I think we’re very civil, actually. It’s not my fault Choso is simply the naturally inferior human being.”
“I also think we are very friendly to one another,” Choso added. “It’s not my fault Sukuna has a rather terrible inferiority complex that he takes out on me.”
Yuji groaned so loudly that Sukuna didn’t even have time to rebuttal. “Stop! Okay, you two think you’re so nice to each other, yeah? Well, I’m going to put that to the test in the most stressful environment you can even think of.”
The most stressful environment he could think of was the Gojo household.
Megumi, Tsumuki, Nanako, Mimiko, and Suguru were all lovely, non-stressful people. The “most-stressful” aspect of the Gojo household came singlehandedly from the namesake himself: Satoru Gojo.
Yuji knocked on the front door of their abysmally large mansion, with Kento, Yuki, Choso, and Sukuna behind him. He’d hoped Megumi’s beautiful face would be the one to open the door, but instead, he was jumpscared by Satoru’s terribly bright blue eyes.
“Why hello there! I see we have two new faces, hm?” Satoru stared the newcomers down. Yuji half-expected two blue-hued laser beams to shoot straight out of his eyeballs.
“Name’s Yuki Tsukomo, this is Yuji’s brother Choso,” Yuki stepped forward, holding out her hand. “I’m guessing you’re Satoru Gojo? I know I’ve definitely heard of you before.”
Satoru shook her hand. “Yuki Tsukomo? Are you the girl who outed my husband on a Reddit thread ten years ago?”
“You bagged Geto Suguru?”
“Bitch, we were already married with four kids!”
“All I did was ask him what his type in girls was and his gay ass couldn’t answer. Reddit’s anonymous anyway—why do you care, and how do you even know my name—”
Yuji couldn’t help but remember the story Megumi had once told him about the time Todo Aoi—Yuji’s best bro—had asked Megumi what his type was and had conveniently added that it was totally fine if he was into men, too. Megumi had never felt so exposed in his life.
Contrarily, when Todo had asked Yuji the same question, he excluded men from the discussion. Yuji was bisexual, so he had answered that his type was anyone with a big ass.
He loved Megumi’s ass.
Speaking of Megumi, his adorable face soon appeared behind Satoru at the door. More accurately, it appeared after Megumi smacked Satoru in the back of the head and invited the Nanami–Kamo–Tsukomo household inside, which Satoru had forgotten to do.
Yuji caught Megumi by the arm and pulled him into a soft kiss. He heard Sukuna gag behind him and didn’t care. Megumi leaned into him, returning the kiss. This time, Yuji also heard Satoru gag.
They were both literal children.
After they broke apart, everyone moved further into the house. Yuji noticed Choso gawking at the house’s interior decor. During Yuji’s first visit to the Gojo house, back when he and Megumi were kids, he remembered having the same baffled feeling. Then, he’d proceeded to spill milk on Satoru’s fifty-thousand-dollar leather couch and crying. Great times.
Suguru was in the kitchen with his three daughters acting as kitchen helpers. Whatever they were making smelled divine. Suguru also looked divine. Yuji was undoubtedly in love with Megumi, and Suguru was over twenty years his senior, but the man unquestionably looked good in Versace.
Suguru noticed the group. “Hello. Please, take a seat. Dinner shouldn’t be long now.”
Satoru sat at one end of the table, and Kento sat at the very opposite end. Yuji followed Kento’s lead and sat as far away from Satoru as possible, taking the seat to Kento’s left while Megumi sat beside Yuji. Yuki, bold as ever, chose the seat to Satoru’s right.
Before the remaining two could sit, Suguru and the girls entered the dining room with the food and took their seats—Suguru to Satoru’s left, the twins squished between Suguru and Megumi, and Tsumiki to Kento’s right. Choso naturally sat next to his girlfriend, leaving the only remaining spot for Sukuna between Tsumiki and Choso.
Yuji internally prayed for Tsumiki’s health and wellbeing.
Satoru took the first bite of food and moaned obnoxiously. Yuji knew the food would be good, but did he really have to moan like that? Following Satoru’s lead, everyone else began eating, plates steadily being cleared.
Soft chatter filled the table. On one end, Yuki, Suguru, and Satoru were deep in discussion about the Reddit incident. On the other, Kento and Tsumiki exchanged opinions on a few books they’d both read. Yuji and Megumi talked with the twins, who were pestering them nonstop about their relationship.
This, of course, left Choso and Sukuna with no one to talk to except each other.
Of course, Choso and Sukuna were both meatheads and refused to do that, instead silently picking at their plates.
Yuji rolled his eyes. They weren’t outright fighting, clearly trying to prove some sort of point, but they also weren’t resolving anything.
Yuji was just about to answer one of Mimiko’s sappy romantic questions when Satoru suddenly spoke loud enough for the entire table to fall silent.
“Say, Choso and Sukuna, why do you two look like you’d rather be dead than sitting next to one another?”
Read the room!
“No reason,” Sukuna gritted through his teeth.
“No, seriously, you two are ruining my mood. Talk, or something. Stop being emo.”
Says the man who married an emo and raised an emo son!
“Uh, yes,” Choso cleared his throat. “We will talk, Satoru. Thank you for the suggestion.”
“Phew, looks like I saved the day again!”
As everyone returned to their conversations, Yuji focused on the two elephants in the room. The elephants were—surprisingly—actually talking.
“The weather is nice today, no?” Choso said stiffly.
“Too sunny,” Sukuna replied, half-grunting.
“Hm.”
“I like the snow.”
“I like the rain.”
Yuji felt a flicker of hope that this wouldn’t end in disaster.
“Why do you like the rain?” Sukuna asked, staring Choso dead in the eyes.
“Because I like the sound of it.”
“Our parents died in the rain.”
“Okay—”
“Yuji wouldn’t like that you like the rain.”
“I suppose I’ll have to apologize to him, then.”
Sukuna slammed his fist on the table. “There you go, again, acting like you’re so much better than I am to him! Apologizing to him because you like the rain? How fucking stupid.”
All hope drained out of Yuji’s body. Worse still, Satoru—the little shit-stirrer—was smirking. Had this been intentional?
“Sukuna, this is the dinner table,” Kento intervened. “Please calm down.”
“Yes, sir,” Choso responded before Sukuna could.
“Are you taking my dad now, too?” Sukuna snapped at Choso. “I can answer my dad’s commentary myself, thanks.”
“Taking your dad, too?” Choso echoed, emphasis firmly on the too.
“Don’t act like you don’t know what you’re fucking doing,” Sukuna raised his voice further. By now, no one else was speaking. “You play all the same video games with Yuji as I do, you watch all the same movies, you go to the gym with him—you steal all his time! You’re a fucking cockroach who won’t die!”
“Sukuna!” Kento scolded. “That’s too far.”
“You’re mad at me for wanting to spend time with my brother?” Choso shot back, voice heated in a way Yuji had never heard. “My entire family died, you asshole. He’s all I have left. The only reason you ever did those things with him was because he forced you to. At least I actually enjoy Yuji’s interests! Do you even know what his favourite TV show is?”
“Squid Games?”
“It’s Naruto!”
Yuji didn’t know what to think.
All of this—the rivalry, the tension, the competition—was because of him?
He took a deep breath. “Can the three of us go somewhere else for a second? I want to talk to you both in private.”
When he said private, he made sure to stare directly at Satoru.
Choso and Sukuna eyed each other before standing and following Yuji out of the kitchen. Yuji led them to Megumi’s room—the only room in the house he knew well. The dark wallpaper and shelves filled with shitty crafts Yuji had made brought him some much needed comfort and familiarity.
“First things first,” Yuji said, forcing them to sit on Megumi’s bed while he stood in front of them. “Sukuna, you’re a total fucking dick. I’m allowed to spend time with Choso whenever I want. He’s my fr—my brother, and there’s nothing you can do about it. And seriously, you thought Squid Games was my favourite TV show?”
Choso shot Sukuna a small but smug smirk.
“And you,” Yuji turned to Choso, “don’t think I haven’t noticed you trying to one-up Sukuna at everything we do together. I’ve known Sukuna since the day I was born. I’m sorry to say, but there’s always going to be some level of understanding between us that you’ll never have.”
Now it was Sukuna’s turn to smirk.
“That being said,” Yuji addressed them both, “you need to stop being assholes to each other. I love you both, okay? No stupid dance competition is going to make me get rid of either of you. Whether you like it or not, you’re both my brothers, and you need to learn how to respect each other.”
They both frowned, silent, clearly thinking.
“So when we go back down there, you’re going to behave like adults. Seriously, you’re almost as bad as Satoru.”
Both men visibly tensed.
Choso had only just met Satoru, but he already had an understanding that being equated to the maturity of Satoru Gojo was a deeply insulting comment. Yuji, hadn’t even meant for the comment to slip, but clearly it had been effective.
“Understood!” they replied simultaneously.
Back at the dinner table, they each took their respective seats and finished their meals peacefully. Sukuna and Choso even spoke—though Tsumiki did most of the heavy lifting as conversation mediator. She had them discussing the social and economic state of the world. Heavy stuff.
Once dinner ended, Yuji and Megumi volunteered to clear the table while everyone else moved to the living room. This gave the two some well deserved alone time.
“Did everything go alright up there?” Megumi asked him once everyone had cleared the room.
Yuji sighed. “I think so? Honestly, I think comparing them to your dad scared them shitless.”
“You compared them to Satoru?” Megumi asked, a grin smirk on his face.
“I told them they were behaving like children—so, exactly like Satoru.”
“Well,” Megumi smiled, “isn’t that the scariest comparison of all?”
“Yeah,” Yuji laughed. “And yet he somehow raised the best son in the entire universe. How did that happen?”
Megumi snorted. “Best son in the entire universe?”
“Who else is better? I can’t think of anyone. Care to help?” Yuji asked.
“Hm. There is a very special son of Kento Nanami that I’m quite fond of,” Megumi pondered, fingers holding his chin up.
“Go on.”
“He’s very tall and very handsome,” Megumi walked closer to Yuji, rubbing a hand up and down his bicep. “He is quite built, but the thing you notice about him the most is his bright pink hair.”
“And what is this son’s name?”
“Sukuna.”
“You brat!” Yuji threw away the wash cloth he had been using to lunge at Megumi, engulfing his boyfriend into a crushing hug.
Megumi giggled, struggling to escape. Yuji resorted to ticking him.
“Stop!” Megumi protested, giggling further.
“Tell me I’m your favourite Nanami son!”
“Never!”
The two tumbled to the floor where Megumi’s two dogs—Kuro and Shiro—joined Yuji’s tickle attack by licking his boyfriend’s face.
“This is bullying!” Megumi huffed between fits of laughter.
“Hey! Are you two done flirting?” Nanako called rudely from the living room. “We want to watch a movie together!”
Yuji reluctantly let Megumi go. “Coming!”
Everyone piled onto the Gojo’s luxury couches (sans milk stain—Gojo had replaced the couch for its full price without so much as making a dent in his bank account). The twins and Tsumiki shared a blanket. Kento reluctantly sat next to Satoru, who had Suguru on his lap. Yuki leaned into Choso, who sat stiffly beside Sukuna.
Megumi nodded subtly, indicating where Yuji should sit, before slipping under the blanket with his sisters. Yuji supposed he could get by without cuddling Megumi for one movie.
Yuji sat his ass down right between his brothers and snatched the remote from Sukuna’s lap. “So, what do we want to watch?”
“I—we were thinking—” Choso began.
“The Lego Batman Movie?” Sukuna finished.
A few months ago, all Yuji had wanted was to cuddle with his boyfriend and watch The Lego Batman Movie. Now, he was squished into a cuddle pile with Megumi’s family, Yuki Tsukomo, his father, and both of his brothers.
It wasn’t the dream date he’d imagined—but he wouldn’t trade it for the world.
