Work Text:
It was basically common knowledge in the school that Khun and Bam will never confess. People like to make bets about when they will.
Hell, that question is pondered so often that the main topic for the newspaper that they can write based on a specific topic every semester was about Khun and Bam's relationship.
The newspaper included interviews, photos of them, etc.
Their friends even ratted them out! Those traitors.
Khun could remember it like it was yesterday...
Bam handed Khun today's newspaper, face so red it traveled down his neck. Khun raised an eyebrow and took the paper anyway with suspicion.
When Shibisu entered the room, coffee cup in hand, he waved at Bam and said, "Hey, Ba-"
Shibisu was interrupted by Bam holding his throat, yelling, "WHAT THE FUCK!? TRAITOR!"
Khun read the newspaper:
"I CANNOT TAKE ANOTHER SEASON OF YOU TWO VERBALLY EDGING EACH OTHER!"
(Written by The Newspaper Club)
-Danny Motta, a YouTuber.
Basically, today's topic will be about Bam and Khun. The bromance everyone knows COULD develop into a real relationship, but Bam nor Khun have the balls to start it. Yes, this is what we decided to waste the special newspaper every semester on. If you are homophobic, get the f*ck out, because in case you're new, most people/everyone here has a part and role in the LGBTQ+ community. We have a bunch of gays, sorry. (For the Khun family, we're talking about A.A. Your brother's gay, in case you didn't know...Somehow.)
POLL RESULTS:
(Written by Endorsi Jahad)
It's time to see the results! Based on the poll: When will Khun and Bam confess?
Top 5 results:
- Never
- In the afterlife
- Their next lives
- Their deathbeds
- At their grave
Sorry if the answer you inserted isn't here. Womp womp. Deal with it like a real adult. I don't wanna deal with another complainer.
NEW POLL:
(Written by Wangnan Ja)
Keep in mind: This is for the next regular newspaper.
The next poll is:
"Who is the Cutest Girl in School?"
Again, as usual, vote on the website. I'm not gonna explain how it works. We're not gonna waste ink explaining how to log in and enter a vote. Ask someone else.
MYSTERIES TO BE SOLVED:
(Written by Hwaryun)
I was forced to pick themes that have to do with my brother, Viole, and his best friend Khun and their unlabeled relationship.
- What were they doing in the men's locker room alone?
Yeah, sorry there's no more. I'm not exposing Viole any longer.
IMPORTANT NEWS:
(Written by Yura Ha)
Bam has a lot of relatives that you can bother. And Khun doesn't have many people here, but you could still bother them!
Apparently, Bam has a lot of families. He has the one he belongs to now, we'll call them FUG, he had Team Sweet And Sour, and surprisingly, the student council at one point. They either go to this school or work here. I'll list them:
FUG:
- Coach Evankhell, Girl's PE coach, Bam's aunt
- Mr. Yu, Social Studies teacher, Bam's uncle
- Coach Jinsung, Men's PE coach, Viole's father
- Hwaryun, 12th grader, Viole's sister
- White, 12th grader, Viole's cousin
- Karaka, 12th grader, Viole's brother
Team Sweet And Sour:
- Wangnan, 11th grade, Viole's brother
- Ehwa, 11th grade, Viole's sister
- Prince, 9th grader, Viole's brother
- Miseng, 9th grader, Viole's sister
The Student Council:
- Khun A.A, 11th grader, Bam's brother/maybe boyfriend
- Rak, 11th grader, Bam's brother/"Hunter"
- Shibisu, 11th grader, Bam's father
- Hatz, 11th grader, Bam's brother
- Endorsi, 11th grader, Bam's sister
- Anaak, 10th grader, Bam's sister
Of course, they're not actually his family (Except for Jinsung and Hwaryun, but Jinsung adopted Hwaryun and Bam) but Bam would like to refer to them that way. They're like his friend groups. Viole is Bam, but that's what those people call him.
Khun's family:
- Khun Ran, 10th grader, Khun's brother
- Khun Hachuling, 12th grader, Khun's brother
TEACHER ANNOUNCEMENTS:
(Written by special guest: Coach Evankhell, Mr. Jinsung, and Mr. Yu)
Proof of our two favorite oblivious gays-I mean guys.
Coach Evankhell:
Bam is definitely gay. If you watch closely, he's staring at Khun all the time.
Coach Jinsung:
My boy is, unfortunately, gay. I'M NOT HOMOPHOBIC, but if that Khun boy lays even a finger on my boy, he's joining his other siblings.
Mr. Yu:
I can tell you that Khun is gay. I've known both of them since third grade, but I remember Khun showing his signs of his homosexuality first before Bam. Khun laid on Bam's lap a lot and rested his head on his shoulder. What other proof do you need?
CRIME HACKS:
(Written by Arie Hoaquin)
I don't have any tips based on romance. I still need to put my usual section, though.
If you wanna bury a body, simply bury it nine feet deep, then place a dead animal four feet after. This way, if the police dog smells something weird, they will just find a dead animal.
Um...Please don't bother me. I don't even like the little bitch. I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING! JUST BECAUSE WE'RE ALL ADOPTED AND LIVE IN THE SAME QUADPLEX DOESN'T MEAN WE ACTUALLY LIKE EACH OTHER!
LAST HUGE ARGUMENT:
(Written by Khun Hachuling)
So, good news, I live with Khun A.A. It's obvious, but that means I have access to A LOT of his things. If you pay me $150, I'll print out his online diary for you. Oh god, he is so gay XD
Eduan: So, you like V's kid?
A.A: No!
Eduan: Are you sure? Listen, the grace family is hot as shit, I can confirm that.
A.A: Oh my god, shut the fuck up you pervert.
I heard this conversation between A.A and our father last night.
A.A PLEASE DON'T KILL OR HATE ME!!
PLEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESESSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ToT
IT'S MY JOB
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
(Written by Ehwa Yeon)
From the smartest guy in school and one of our targets for today's special newspaper: Khun Aguero Agnis
"Even salt and sugar look the same, so be careful who you trust."
I never said it'd be romantic :p
Let's just say the next day, Khun and Bam kissed in front of a beautiful scene with a ball of fire in the background.
...
That ball of fire being their school on fire.
A fire that they had caused.
Who cared?
They certainly didn't as they kissed passionately, tongues dancing gracefully to the music of fire crackling and students screaming.
Their friends were going to be ok, they had made them sick themselves.
They stopped and faced the school.
"The school is like a representation of our love." Khun smiled.
Bam pulled him by his tie. "And our passion."
They continued, then ran to Khun's house as the fire department started to arrive.
