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Waking up in the middle of the night wasn't a strange occurrence for Jonathan. Regularly over the years, he had been woken up by various things (Will, Chester, Lonnie, his own need for a glass of water…); but nightmares were the outliers.
Not to stay that Jonathan never gets nightmares, because he has a repertoire of those stacked away in his mind. But they have never been this vivid.
They started after Will returned, safe and sound. Jonathan thought that he would've started to get them when Will originally went missing, but he remembers that he wasn't exactly sleeping through the night when that had happened. So now that everything had calmed down, and his family had somehow regained their composure, it was Jonathan's turn to lose his. Again.
The Demogorgon attack left a scar on his hand and his subconscious, it appears, and it has found Jonathan springing up from his bed at 4 in the morning. Gasping awake, clawing for a weapon. If it wasn't the monster that invaded his house, it was the failure of keeping Will safe. Failure of keeping him alive.
It had lead to one too many nights of crawling out of bed when the sun was still no where to be found, and cracking Will's door to see if he was alright. (To see if he was even there).
But, no, his little brother had always been asleep in his bed. Months spent like this (panicked in the middle of the night, checking on his brother) affirmed that everything was turning back to normal… as much as it could.
Jonathan isn't stupid, he knows Will is having his own problems, but Joyce has been keeping an uncomfortable amount of attention on him just in case. Jonathan doesn't want to crowd Will too much, but he wants to be there for him.
And on the other hand, Joyce hasn't checked up on Jonathan in a while.
He isn't sure why this thought crosses his mind, because this was how it has been for years. Even before Will's disappearance.
His mother gave Jonathan the "worrier" trait, so he knows that if she was concerned about him, she would check in. But. Why the hell wasn't she concerned?
He can't remember the last time she asked him a question about anything at all that didn't have to do with scheduling logistics, or Will, or dinner. Jonathan didn't want to be babied, but he wanted to be seen.
Jonathan didn't know if it was a reasonable request, though. He was almost 17, he could take care of himself; a new school year was on the horizon and they all had things to do. Sometimes Jonathan wonders if this want to be noticed was because he was continuously spoiled by his boyfriend, Steve Harrington.
A hand snakes around his arm and Jonathan jumps forward, turning on his heel and breathing heavy before registering someone's voice, "Woah! Jon, hey, it's me!"
Or, maybe not.
Jonathan pants, "Jesus, you snuck up on me."
His boyfriend (yes, boyfriend) stares at him incredulously, "I called your name twice, you were spaced out." Steve steps forward, close but not too close because they were in public. "Are you doing okay?"
Jonathan nodded, before looking at Steve strangely, "What are you doing here?"
Here was outside of the arcade. Jonathan had been parked outside leaning against his car for upwards of 10 minutes waiting for his brother and his friends to come outside. He is sure Joyce would have come to get Will herself, but she was working and asked Jonathan to get him instead. Bring him straight home, I can cook tonight. Okay, Jonathan?
"Caught a ride with Nancy," Steve sighs. "Apparently Mike's bike got a flat on the way here and he called to get his mom or something, but she was out. I came with because I figured I would see you—" a smile, "—and I was right."
That's right, Steve had been over at Nancy's recently for some last minute summer school stuff. Jonathan knew that. God, everything was just everywhere recently—
"Are you sure you're okay, Jon?"
"Jon?" Jonathan startles, looking to see Will had come out in time to overhear Steve. "You never let anyone call you a nickname."
Will is looking at him like he turned into an alien, and Jonathan can't breathe for a minute.
If Steve is uncomfortable, he doesn't show it. "Hey, Baby Byers."
"Hi Steve?"
Jonathan ruffles his hair, "Okay, time to go. Did you have a good time?"
Will nods, getting into his car and waving around a prize he got in his hand. "Dustin almost broke the Pong Machine again."
Before Jonathan could ask how that happened, Steve leans in to whisper, "Should I come over tonight?"
Jonathan swallows. It has been a while since they've been actually able to see each other between his extra shifts, Will, the nightmares—
He nods, "If you want to."
Steve smiles, but the look in his eyes let Jonathan know that he took it as a challenge, "You know I do."
There was only so much Jonathan could do to curb Will's curiosity about Steve being around all of a sudden. Jonathan had used the "He is friends with Nancy" excuse once only to be asked in return: "You're friends with Mike's sister?".
All in all, Jonathan isn't great at lying to Will. He has been so used to telling him anything (within reason) that he never figured out how to make Will not suspicious of him. Previously, it hadn't been an issue because Steve was never with Jonathan where they could be seen. But of course, since everything went down and Steve renounced his high school friends, Steve was almost always with him barring busy weeks.
The night Jonathan picked up Will from the arcade was the first of many nights that made his brother look at him weird for simply saying Hi to Steve. Jonathan really didn't think they were that bad before November 1983, but when Steve mentioned Nancy having the same confusion, it made them reevaluate some things.
So now Steve and Nancy occasionally came over to Jonathan's house, mostly to review (that was Nancy's plan, at least, but Steve was easily distracted by Jonathan), and Will slowly stopped squinting at Jonathan whenever Steve was mentioned. He thought that got him out of the woods, but when Steve came over by himself, it began all over again.
Jonathan wasn't sure what was setting him off this time, because surely by now Steve and Jonathan have been established as at least friends. (Friends that go off into the woods during daylight hours of the Summer and don't tend to come back until late).
Thankfully, Joyce didn't seem too weirded out by Steve appearing suddenly. Whether that be because she remembered Steve from Jonathan's childhood, knew Steve was around for the Demogorgon fiasco, or was too focused on Will to mind… Jonathan wasn't sure. (Jonathan couldn't be happier when Steve came by for dinner one night when Joyce was around, and Joyce's bright greeting made Steve smile all night. (Jonathan knew that there wasn't anyone colder than Steve's own mother.))
In any case, it doesn't look like Will is going to drop the Steve dilemma anytime soon. Jonathan loves his brother, but he can be a real shit when he wanted to be. (He could probably blame that on Mike… probably.)
But that wasn't something he had to deal with tonight, because Joyce had some news in the form of a lighthearted man that tried to exude Christmas Spirit all year.
Bob Newby wasn't a surprise that Jonathan liked.
Joyce and Lonnie had been divorced for years, and Jonathan wasn't saying that his mom didn't deserve to move on or anything. After enduring Lonnie Byers, she deserved to have someone that treated her nicely and listened to her and all that. But, letting him meet Will after barely a month of Bob and Joyce going out? While Will was still having regular check-ups for his episodes? Could there have been a worse time?
Jonathan didn't say anything about it, not sure that he would even be listened to if he tried, and they were suddenly having dinner with the guy. Regularly.
"So, Jonathan, taking any interesting courses this fall?" Bob asks, handing Jonathan the pitcher of lemonade that he had brought over.
Even if he didn't want to give Bob points for trying, at least he acted like he cared about the Byers Kid's accolades, "Not really."
"Oh, Jonathan don't say that." Joyce makes a pleasant face while setting down the platter of food. "You've always got that Art class where you can do your photography. And didn't Nancy convince you to officially join Yearbook Club?"
He sighs, "Yearbook isn't a class."
That isn't the information Bob latches onto, though, "Who is Nancy? A girlfriend?"
Somewhere, he can imagine Nancy wincing.
"A girl that is my friend. She's Mike's older sister."
Bob nods along, having heard about Mike through Will already.
Will nudges his shoulder when he comes back from washing his hands in the bathroom, "Mike and Lucas say Nancy's too cool for Jonathan."
Jonathan frowns, meaning to ask why the hell he was talking about Jonathan's potential dating life with Nancy, when a knock sounds from down the hallway.
"I'll get it." Jonathan rises from his seat, taking the opportunity to leave behind Bob's attempts at small talk.
Jonathan passes by the living room (now devoid of lights and traps) and pets Chester's head from where he lays on the armchair. When he reaches the front door he takes a deep breath in before opening it.
He blinks, "Steve?"
"Hey." Steve says, tired. He walks in when Jonathan shifts to the side, closing the door. "Sorry for coming over unprompted, but my parents came home and…"
Jonathan shakes his head, understanding that is a can of worms that will need to be opened later. "No, it's fine. But my Mom's… boyfriend is over right now."
Steve grimaces, noticing the apprehension, "That bad?"
He sighs, "Later."
The weird thing that Jonathan has never gotten used to is how his chest doesn't feel so tight when Steve comes around. Whenever he gets too in his head at night, he loses his spiraling train of thought when there is a knock on his window. A bump in the night has never scared him for years, because it usually meant that Steve decided to trek the way to Jonathan's bedroom window. It always meant that Jonathan got to see Steve; and now that they didn't have to wait until night to see each other, he got to appreciate it more. Appreciate Steve more.
But, not right now, apparently.
From the dining room, Jonathan hears Joyce, "Who is it, Jonathan?"
Steve looks to Jonathan and shrugs. Jonathan scoffs and guides Steve a bit forward with a teasing shove.
Once they get to the opening of the hallway, Joyce brightens and Will frowns (just confused, Jonathan hopes).
"Steve!" Joyce greets. "Did I know you were coming?"
"Oh, no Mrs. Byers. I meant to come over earlier for some tapes Jonathan wanted to show me, but I got mixed up. Sorry for the short-notice, I could—"
Joyce waves her hand around, "No, it's alright sweetie. Would you like something to eat? We're having dinner."
Not waiting for an answer, Joyce goes to fix Steve a plate anyway. Jonathan, knowing this would happen, goes to sit down and pulls out a chair for Steve. Once Steve is seated with food in front of him, he thanks Joyce and glances at Bob. "Oh, hi. I'm Steve Harrington. Jonathan's friend."
Bob raises a hand for Steve to shake, which he takes immediately, "Bob Newby, I work at the local RadioShack."
That sets Steve and Bob off on some conversation Jonathan doesn't bother following. It was something about the local businesses popping up and business language Steve had likely picked up from Economics or his own father. Joyce looked pleased with the conversation, popping in with her own insights every once in a while. But Jonathan was more or less focusing on the way Steve looked. How he blended in so easily into his life, as if it was no issue or bother. Besides how he was made too look while spending all his time with Carol and Tommy, Jonathan was the first to know that Steve was extremely easy to like. Was one of the first to figure that out, in fact; it was the only way that Jonathan let himself get so close to him, and why he was so angry at Daniel Harrington for ruining it for Steve (Jonathan wasn't sure if Steve would ever leave behind his father's expectations completely. But he said he was trying to).
On his left side, Will nudges him again. Joyce, Bob, and Steve are too distracted to notice Will gesturing between Steve and Jonathan. Ah, he had been staring too liberally. Jonathan clears his throat and washes the nerves down with lemonade.
Will isn't satisfied from Jonathan's lack of answer, if his furrowed brow is anything to go by, but there was no way Jonathan was going to do anything about it. Not here, not now.
"Hey, Steve." Will says, and Jonathan swears he isn't going to drive him to the arcade again this weekend. "What tapes were you looking for?"
Luckily, Steve has spent too much time in Jonathan's room to be balked at the question that was absolutely meant to poke holes in his lie. "Bowie's "Heroes", I think. And something by The Smiths that he has been trying to get me to listen to."
Jonathan rolls his eyes, "Someone has to get you off your constant stream of Wham! and ABBA." Which was true.
"Not everyone can live off The Clash, Jonathan." Which is less true.
Bob grins from his place beside Joyce, "I love Wham!"
Of course he does.
"So, that was Bob." Steve says, a little baffled.
"That was Bob." Jonathan agrees, dire.
Bob had cleared out a bit ago and Steve and Jonathan were finally free from dinner obligations. Jonathan had ignored Will's look, murmured a goodbye to Bob, and lead his boyfriend to his room quickly.
Once Jonathan knows they aren't going to be bothered behind his closed door, he turns to Steve.
Steve sits on Jonathan's bed, grabbing the pen on Jonathan's bedside table to mess with, "He's nice."
"He's my Mom's boyfriend." Jonathan reminds Steve, even though he knows that he has already complained about this situation tenfold in the past week. It makes Jonathan recall what Steve said when he arrived earlier, though. "So, your parents. Is it a Sleepover situation or an aversion one?"
Steve sighs.
Since they were around 11, they had had this similar line of questioning over the years. When one of them needed an escape and couldn't find their way out, usually Jonathan's room was used as refuge. If not, the forest. Usually Jonathan couldn't bring himself to leave Will by himself, but Steve was never deterred from setting foot inside, even if Lonnie was around.
Avoid versus Sleepover was one of the worst games they played in their relationship. But maybe it was the worst because it wasn't a game at all.
"Both? I don't know." Steve falls backward, letting his back hit Jonathan's worn comforter. "Nothing has happened, and they should be leaving tomorrow night, but I'm not taking chances."
Jonathan lays on his back next to Steve, "Okay." For the first time all day, Jonathan can breathe. "I am going to give you those tapes, though."
Steve turns his head to face Jonathan, a soft smile spreading on handsome features. "Oh, I wouldn't have it any other way."
"Yeah?"
"I knew what I was doing when I said that."
Jonathan laughs, "So that is why you mentioned the Bowie album I know I've made you listen to several times before?"
Steve gets up on his elbows to lean over Jonathan, "I don't know what you're talking about."
When Steve kisses Jonathan, everything buzzes in the background and the way he smiles against Steve's lips makes his boyfriend break away into a laugh.
A week into September, Steve sleeps over. Though, thankfully, not anything to do with his parents, but just because he can. (Mrs. Hudgens is making me bust my ass with essays already, I demand downtime with my cute boyfriend. (Jonathan pinched him for that one.))
It was an alright day. Earlier he had taken Steve and Nancy through the forest to gather some of his usual nature shots now that Summer is turning down into Fall.
He was generally satisfied with them, and Steve had returned to his roots and climbed through the window into Jonathan's room. They had spoken in hushed tones and listened to quiet music through the headphones of Jonathan's Walkman. But Jonathan could tell that Steve was pretty tired from Basketball starting to become more intense and classes beginning again, so they turned in early.
Jonathan made a quick sweep of the house, making sure his brother was in bed and Joyce was settling in for the night. Jonathan lays in the spot closest to the door in a lazy effort to shield Steve from anyone that would come in, and falls asleep with Steve against his chest.
…
Describing the Upside Down wasn't something he liked to do. The stale air and the particles wafting around everywhere. How he had searched for Nancy in the cold under a suffocating dark blanket. It wasn't necessarily night, not when it was always dark.
Jonathan just didn't like thinking about how Will was forced to endure it for more than an hour.
But he was standing back in the Upside Down, and Will was missing again. He always was, in a sense. Will was his brother but he was Joyce's baby. Will was his brother but he rarely spoke up unless it was teasing or absolutely necessary.
Jonathan didn't like thinking about how Will might've been yelling for help the night he was taken, and Jonathan wasn't at the house because he was fucking working. It was an extra shift he took on a whim, for the money and because he was too angry at Steve to face him that night.
In all the wrong ways, it was Jonathan's fault that Will was taken. As Jonathan walks the decrepit forest of the Upside Down, this is what he tells himself. That, and he things that everything around him whispers in agreement.
Running is pointless, but he does anyway. Uncaring of how he crashes into trees and vines, he pushes out and breathes in as much air as he can. Pumping his legs and shouting for his brother.
Who doesn't answer, not until Jonathan faces an unyielding darkness and he turns around. Because he has no choice, and Will has always been behind him. Always will be, you know? Will is his little brother, always underfoot at the wrong times and gone when it is the most inopportune.
Will is his little brother and he kneels in front of Jonathan without a hint of life in his body, eyes whited out and mouth stained with blood.
Somewhere from behind him, a voice whispers, "Poor Jonathan. Should've kept a better look out."
Jonathan breathes, because somehow he knows he shouldn't scream. It's a dream, it's a dream—
"But you know how history repeats itself."
And Jonathan is in Mr. Isaacs history class, a little on the nose but Jonathan wasn't one for symbolism outside of photos. It's a dream—
A cold, invisible hand—or maybe it's Jonathan's own will—moves his head to look on to his left. Steve wasn't in any of Jonathan classes, but the scene next to him suggests differently.
"A dirty man, you are." It's a dream— "Dragged him down with you."
Steve sits next to Jonathan in a desk, but his body is limp against the chair. His mouth is open and his lip is bleeding, his left eye swollen and bruised. The worst: vines that he has seen in the Upside Down protruding out of his chest like he was going to be ripped apart by them, but they stopped halfway through.
A sob catches in his throat. It's a dream, it's a dream, it's a DREAM—
…
Jonathan chest heaves and he fears that he might throw up.
He sprung up so quickly off of his bed that he would've fallen out if it weren't for the weight across his lap. Somewhere below him something makes a noise, but he can't make out the details of it over his panting breath and the sob begging to break free. Jonathan wrestles one of his hands out from under the covers and clasps his hand over his mouth so he won't make a sound. He can't wake up Joyce or Will, he refuses—
"Jonathan." Two warm hands grasp the sides of his face, and Jonathan is forced to look into two brown eyes. Ones that he is deftly familiar with, and he crumbles easily under them. "It's okay, it was a nightmare."
Fuck. The sob tears its way out of his throat, and Steve gathers him up in an instant. At another time, he might find it embarrassing how quickly he settles surrounded by Steve, but the familiar heat of skin and scent can't be beat. Jonathan has always been quick to compose himself, and this time is no different, breathing through his panic and grief easily until he can stop shaking.
They don't speak for a long time, but Steve lays back down on the bed eventually, bringing Jonathan with him. They're now opposite how they fell asleep: Jonathan gathered into Steve's side and his face in the crook of his boyfriend's neck. Jonathan always preferred holding Steve because it settled his need to keep and protect. He supposed this was alright, too.
Jonathan swallows, "I'm okay."
Steve scoffs, but doesn't argue with him. "I've been having them too."
"Really?" Jonathan questions, this being the first time he has heard about Steve also having nightmares.
"Yeah." Jonathan watches his hand rise and fall with Steve's chest. "Always with that monster. Sometimes it's our plan going wrong, or something equally bad. You and Nance gone. Will…"
"Never coming back?" Jonathan sighs, a weariness that he knows he is too familiar with for comfort.
Steve whispers, "Yeah."
"I was too late." Jonathan closes his eyes, fisting his hand in Steve's shirt. "He was gone already. And then you…"
"I…?"
"You had… god. Vines coming out of your chest."
Steve makes a noise of slight disgust, but doesn't say anything right away. "…Did I…"
"Did you…" He prompts.
"Well, did I look cool?"
Jonathan uses his free hand to grab a pillow and smother Steve with it.
And because his boyfriend is incredibly rude, he just cackles about it, which Jonathan does try to muffle. "I'm sorry!" Jonathan loosens his grip enough so Steve can toss the pillow away.
"Really, Steve?"
Steve just pulls Jonathan down to lay on his chest again. "Hey, you didn't answer me." Jonathan grumbles. "Look at me, no vines." Steve grabs his hand, pulling it to his chest and smoothing it over the area. No vines. "But if you're still not sure, I can take off my shirt so you can have a peek."
Jonathan groans, pinching Steve's side and ignoring his yelp. "You're so stupid."
"But you're smiling, aren't you?"
He gets up on his elbows to properly look down at Steve, and, yeah. He's smiling.
Steve traces his lower lip with a thumb, "We're okay. You're safe. Will is safe."
Somehow, Jonathan doesn't know how he ever gotten as lucky as to have Steve Harrington with him, but he wasn't one for questioning miracles.
Jonathan leans down to kiss him once, twice, and curls back into Steve's side. Safe and sound, he falls asleep.