Chapter Text
it's not my fault.
those words were on loop in phil's mind as he stared at his bedroom ceiling, the crickets chirping loudly outside. he couldn't sleep. counting sheep wasn't working, and neither was waiting it out. he lifted his head up ever so slightly, the moonlight from his window casting onto his desk to show the blank piece of notebook paper with his pencil still next to it—teeth marks near the eraser tip, teddy said he'd get cavities if he kept doing that. were the little green men on the moon mocking him for being a terrible friend? they had to be.
but he wasn't worried about cavities, or his grades, he was worried about matty.
if you were to ask phil what he thought of matty clements at first, he'd tell you that he was just some kid that sat a few seats down from his lunch table that he barely thought about. until his mom had offered to pay him and his best friend free candy to hang out with him. "he's a sweet boy, really." she'd say, handing him and teddy a box of milk duds and sweet tarts paired with the bubblegum cigar sticks. teddy got strawberry while phil got apple. there were a few bruises on mrs. clements' wrist, he ignored them. "he's just...a bit shy, is all. you know how kids are these days." and phil knew exactly how cruel kids at school could be to him and teddy, he saw matty get shoved around on a few occasions—but didn't do anything but look away and hope he wasn't next. phil viewed himself as normal, even if the other kids thought he was crazy for thinking men were the next species to begin breastfeeding.
"i think we should invite him to the standpipe." phil glanced at his friend, frowning. "what? ted's, that's our spot!" he said, his mouth stuffed with milk-duds. "dude—chew your duds before talking, it looks like you're eating shit." teddy's face scrunched into a look of disgust for a moment, unintentionally sounding like his father. phil closed his mouth and slowly began to chew. "look, i know we found it first but..i don't think it'd be a bad idea to include him. you heard his mom, he doesn't have anyone or his own hangout spot like we do." he wanted to say no. that he didn't want some kid they barely knew at their spot, it's always been just 'phil and teddy'. two peas in a pod. not three—not 'phil and teddy and matty'. he kept his mouth shut and pondered on the thought. swallowing the chewed up chocolate and caramel that was sitting too long on his tongue. maybe he was being too harsh, too judgemental. it was a good deed, wasn't it?
"okay, fine...but if he turns out to be a secret alien spy in disguise, he's not allowed to hangout with us anymore."
he couldn't stop staring at him.
matty sat where he usually did. distant and by himself, but he didn't have his lunch tray. teddy was still in the lunch line, leaving phil alone at his table. he'd glance back, and phil wouldn't know what to do but look the other way. he wanted to wait till teddy was back from the line...but he felt bad. he couldn't believe himself. getting nervous over talking to another boy like a girl would. he thought about the bubblegum cigar stick that mrs. clements gave, he hadn't eaten it yet. was going to save it for himself as his dessert—but then he looked over at matty. that stupid feeling in his stomach wouldn't leave, being too stubborn to. just go over and talk to him, phil. don't be a pussy.
phil grabbed his lunchbox, and proceeded to walk to the empty seat that sat across the other kid. as he got closer, phil noticed a mean bruise on matty's eye. "hey, do you um..." phil's words seemed to not want to come out either.
what the fuck is wrong with me? just talk to him!
matty looked up at him. quietly waiting for him to finish his sentence. "do you mind if me and my friend sit with you? we've been getting a little..uh...tired of sitting at our usual spots." matty nodded. "sure, i don't mind phil sat his lunchbox down and pulled the chair away, awkwardly trying to adjust himself as he sat in it. matty attempted to hide his smile, but it didn’t do much. phil stopped. he hadn't noticed how pretty matty's eyes looked till right now, and then felt ashamed for thinking it. "i'm phil, phil malkin. but its not mal-kin. its mall-kin." he put a hand up, intending to shake the others hand. "oh, well it's nice to meet you. phil mall-kin. i'm matty clements." he said, making sure to pronounce the 'mall' in malkin. he shook phil's hand, and it sent another odd feeling in him that hr couldn't quite understand. "nice to meet you too, matty."
"where's your lunch? did you forget to pack it?" he asked, letting go of his hand. ignoring that urge to keep holding on. "oh, i um..i lost my allowance."
"oh, does that-"
he was going to ask about the shiner on his eye, but he gave him a look that told him maybe he shouldn't. "i'm not gonna snitch if that's what you're worried about." matty looked away, unsure of whether he should trust phil to know. "..you promise? i just don't want my mom to make a fuss over it." phil opened his lunchbox, pulling out the food his mom packed. "i get it—my moms the same. do you like peanut butter? i got a peanut butter and jelly sandwich i can share if you want, it's grape." matty perked up, glancing at the sliced sandwich half. "are you sure?" he asked, before taking it. fingers grazing against phil's for a brief moment. "yeah, i don't care for grape that much. i.." he trailed off, looking at the bubblegum cigar stick. "i also got this cigar stick too." phil handed it to matty, who took it with ease. "aw, sweet..i really appreciate it, i owe you one."
the two of them began eating, after matty and swallowed his first bite he spoke up. "you know who tim flanagan is?" phil raised a brow, his memory of tim flanagan was small. he's seen him talking to patty stanton a few times in the hallways, but every time he saw him—he always thought of the shape-shifting aliens from his comics. "yeah, he's always wearing that ugly jacket." he turned his head to scan for him, briefly seeing him with patty...again. it went quiet for a minute, mostly due to phil not being sure of what else he could say to matty. the sound of teddy pulling the chair out next to phil made him stop spacing out. "what took you so long?"
"sorry i took so long, there was kid up there who couldn't stop talking to the lunch lady."
he looked at matty briefly, sitting down. "hi, i'm theodore uris. but you can just call me teddy." he smiled kindly, and shook matty's hand before sitting down. "would you want to come with us to the standpipe? me and teddy were gonna try to.." phil finished the last bite of the pb & j sandwich, looking around to make sure no one else was listening to their conversation. "we were going to break into it...again, i mean." matty's eyes widened slightly, he had never broken into the standpipe. let alone anywhere abandoned, couldn't help but immediately think of what his dad would do if he had ever found out. "isn't that illegal? i thought it was abandoned."
"it is, but the guy who owns it doesn't bother with it anymore. we were gonna go after school."
matty looked down, fidgeting with the sleeve of his flannel. "i..i'll have to check with my pop about it, but i'd love to." phil smiled, peeling the orange in his hand. he handed matty and teddy a few slices, making sure they had an even amount. "it's a date then." he paused, realizing what he said. but didn't feel disgusted with himself when matty had smiled back at him. almost made him forget he was being paid in candy to do this.
maybe three in a pod didn't sound so bad after all.