Archive of Our Own

 Mr. Tomlinson,
You have been cordially invited to
Holmes Chapel Comprehensive School’s
Class of 2006 Tenth Year Reunion.

“I still can’t believe it’s been ten years.”

“You better be coming, you bloody twat!”

A sense of comfort courses through Louis as his best mate’s Irish accent sails through the phone line. It’s thundering as it booms into Louis’ ears with all the satirical confidence Niall can muster. However, even as aggressive as Niall can seemingly be, he’s one of the most considerate people Louis knows. Anytime Louis gets the chance to talk with his longtime friend, it’s hard to suppress the imminent smile that forms upon his lips.

“Obvi, Nialler. Haven’t seen you lot in ages, we’re all due for some fun, yeah?”

As Louis continues to listen to Niall, he simultaneously nods his head to people passing by as he makes his way inside a private building for work.

“Hell yeah, we do! Oh, by the way, Mr. Big Shot - you bringing Eleanor?”

The question catches him off guard, nearly causing Louis to halt his walking, but he slowly manages on still. As he climbs a set of stairs, he’s mentally off into a not so distant past, and Louis’ glad for once for the distance between him and his best mate. Had Niall been here to see Louis, and not just talking to him over the phone, he would know automatically that something was troubling Louis. And he’d be right. It’s been a few months since Eleanor and Louis broke up, and he hasn’t felt like sharing that small bit of information just yet.

“Er…no, I’m not.”

While Niall can’t see the expression, he certainly can hear the way Louis’ voice aches. He wouldn’t be Louis’ best mate if he didn’t know everything about him, which Louis really hates at this particular moment in time.

“When did it happen?”

“Uhm, on St. Patrick’s Day weekend. You know people in the states go crazy for that shit.”

“That’s why you broke up with her? Cause she went too hard for a holiday that the Irish don’t even celebrate? I mean I get it, I know you’re madly in love with me, but still seems a bit odd.”

Louis softly chuckles at his friend’s joke, thankful for the ease of tension that had slowly been building.

“Remind me again why I put up with you?”

“Because of my incredible smile and Irish charm. Should I take this diverge in topic as a sign that you’re not telling me today?”

“ 'fraid not. But maybe if you get me drunk enough, I’ll tell you at the reunion.”

“Maybe if I get you drunk enough, you’ll do a lot more than tell me one story at our reunion.”

It’s pretty funny to think about it now, as memories start to unfold in Louis’ mind. Niall was always the one to get things done last, he was the one to drink last, smoke last, and lose his virginity last. But once he got all that stuff done, he took it and ran a mile ahead of everyone else. After he had his first sip, he could out drink anyone, then he could get higher than anyone, and before long he was having more sex than anyone. It’s amusing for Louis to note, and he proudly takes credit for it. For creating the uncaged monster, Niall’s become.

“If you’re trying to relive the night we went out in Madrid, you’re gonna have to do a lot more than hand me some spiked punch.”

“That night was epic.”

“That night was epic. I still don’t think I’ve quite recovered from that trip, my hips don’t rotate the same.”

“Please don’t tell me more on that subject.”

“I’ll spare ya, Neil…for now.”

“Ugh, so anyway. You’re definitely going?”

“Fuck, how many times do I have to say yes?”

“Just making sure, ya cunt! I’m bringing Harry, and Zayn is bringing Liam.”

Louis can’t remember who Harry is, even though Niall mentions his name a lot. Maybe they’re dating? He wonders quickly, before returning back to the conversation.

“I kinda figured Zayn would bring Liam, they are married now and all.”

“I am never accepting their marriage until they have a proper wedding with me as the best man.”

“First off, I’d be the best man. Second, getting married in Zimbabwe under some African trees is the purest form of love that two men can make.”

Niall laughs so loudly into the phone at Louis mocking Zayn’s prior comments that Louis has to pull the device away from his ear.

“They’re getting married here, and that’s final!”

“Yeah, you tell ‘em that. Anyway, I have to get back to my job and all, so I’ll talk to you later. I’ll have my assistant book the plane ticket now, as well.”

“Oh right, almost forgot. Mr. Louis Tomlinson, Hollywood Actor, A-List Hottie...”

“Jealous?”

“You wish. Adios, puta!”

“I know what that means.”

“Bye!”

Niall hangs up, and Louis shakes his head in humorous disbelief. How is Niall always so fucking energetic? Despite Louis never being able to tolerate that from anyone else, when it comes to Niall…Louis loves it. Whenever he needs to be pulled out of the darkness that often tempts in the night, Niall is the best to turn to. On the other hand, whenever he needs to vent or have a philosophical conversation, Zayn is best in that department. And while it may be ten years since graduating from school, their friendship dynamic hasn’t changed one bit, and that’s still pretty amazing to him.

There's nothing better than his friends.

* * * *

“Mr. Tomlinson, I have your tea right here. Also, Simon called twenty minutes ago and said he would like a word.”

Melissa has been Louis’ personal assistant since he started his acting career in LA. After so many years together, he knows her like the back of his hand. She’s neurotic about every little detail, she’s unbearably organized and often over prepared, and she’s insanely intelligent - everything that Louis isn’t. Which is why she’s so great at what she does.

“Mel, just because I’m at a job doesn’t mean you have to be so formal with me. How many times do I have to tell you this?”

“I know, but…”

“Please, you make me more nervous when you treat me like your boss.”

She rolls her eyes, but then smiles, as Louis waits for her to confront him in the tone he prefers.

“Okay, fuck it! Louis, you have to call Simon back ASAP, Stacy is waiting for you in hair and make-up, and don’t fucking drink the tea even though I bought it for you because it makes you jittery. We don’t need people talking about you having the shakes in your interview.”

“That’s me girl!”

Louis pats her on the head and then runs over to hair and make-up, sitting in the chair to be pampered while he calls back his agent, Simon.

“Louis! So glad you’re calling back. Getting ready for the Corden interview?”

“Yes, quite excited to be back here, always been a big fan.”

“Good. Well, I have some excellent news. You got an offer for the movie 'February Rain,' coming out next Summer. I think you’ve heard of it, it’s going to be starring some big names like Cillian Murphy, Emma Watson, and maybe even Leonardo DiCaprio! This is big Louis, and they want you. So before I tell them yes, you have to tell me first.”

Holy fucking shit. Holy fucking shit. Holy fucking shit.

“Are you being serious with me?”

“Why would I lie?”

“Holy fucking shit.”

“That’s the response I was waiting for. Now just say yes, and we can both be on our way towards fame and fortune.”

Louis teases, “I thought I already had that?”

“Well, yes. But if you do this movie Louis," Simon pauses for dramatic emphasis, "Your success will be like nothing you’ve ever imagined.”

“Right…well, I gotta go do the interview. Can I think on it?”

“I want your answer by the end of next week.”

“Okay.”

The phone call ends before Louis' words have completely departed from his lips. Simon must be annoyed at his hesitancy. As an agent who makes money off their client, Louis can understand why. While fame and fortune have been a part of Louis’ inevitable goal, because how could anyone not want that kind of recognition and money? There’s also been this tiny nagging pain in Louis’ heart. This tiny nagging pain that hasn't ceased for the past couple years, in fact. And Louis' sure it’ll only grow if he continues down this road. So what should he do?

* * * *

After the interview where Louis spent the majority of his time talking about his potential upcoming roles and his love life, or rather lack thereof, Louis nestles on his couch to watch old home movies. This is something Louis only really does when he can no longer pretend that he doesn’t miss home more than anything else. This is something Louis only really does when he desperately needs his friends and family, but refuses to admit that things are getting too hard. So instead, he treats his home-sickness with memories that always feel distant and forgotten. And no matter how many times Louis hits the “play” button on the videos, it never fully satisfies the empty void within.

* * * *

“You need to get out of that bed right now, or I am going to shove my heel so far up your asshole that you’re going to be sore for weeks.”

“Mmhmm Melissa, you really know how to talk dirty to me.”

“Get up!”

Melissa pulls the blankets off of Louis, forcing the frigid air to hit his body like a billion shards of ice. The cold prompts him to jump out of bed and run into the shower to warm up his frozen bones, while Melissa talks to him through the door, discussing his schedule for the day.

“Grimshaw called and wants you to interview with him.”

“No," Louis snaps aggressively from his shower.

“Oh come on, he’s a nice guy.”

“Not happening.”

“I’m setting it up for the day after you come back from London.”

“Why must you torture me so?”

“Because you wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“True.”

It takes a total of forty-five minutes for Louis to get out of the shower, put on some clothes, be briefed on his daily plans, get in the car with Melissa, and reach the set. Today and tomorrow are his last days of shooting, and then he will be done with this stupid movie he actually hates a lot. And not because of the movie itself, but because of everything that has happened while filming this movie. After tomorrow, he can bury the past, and head back to the only people that matter to him at this point. Nothing better than that.

“Okay, so you just have to read off a couple of your lines, kiss the pretty girl, tell her you love her and then punch Max in the face.”

Ted, the director, is explaining to Louis what he’s expecting to see played out for him today. Louis nods his head as he gets into position on set, and watches on. Currently, Carly stands in the driveway talking to Max, whose character is trying to tell her to forget about Louis. Max still can’t look Louis in the eyes after ‘the incident,’ but they haven’t had to come face to face on set since, so this is going to be interesting. Louis tries to pay attention to his role, instead of remembering the way Max’s lips felt rough against his own.

“Billy you don’t understand, I can’t just forget him!”

Carly starts tearing up, she’s great at that. Max leans his head down to peer further into her eyes, really giving the effect that he’s in need of her, desperate for her. Max then rubs his hand on her cheek and delivers his lines.

“Then don’t. Just come with me, give me a chance. I’ll show you I can treat you better.”

Max starts leaning forward, meaning this is Louis’ cue to jump in. Here goes nothing. 

“Hey! Back away from my girl!”

Louis hates this line. Max glances up at him, and it hurts the minute they connect, but they continue on as the great actors that they are.

“Jack? Why are you even here?”

Now Louis’ character forgets Max, catching sight of Carly and finding her to be so breathtaking. He smirks charmingly, as he breathes out his rehearsed words.

“Because I love her.”

Carly drops to her knees in astonishment, Max starts to realize he’s losing her again and runs over to Louis, to push his character away. Max pushes Louis a little too roughly, but Louis knows he deserves it. Louis punches Max, or at least acts it, and then runs over and helps Carly up.

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me Kate, and I can’t believe that I thought, even for a minute, that I could live without this, without you. But I don’t want to, and if you’ll have me, I’ll make it up to you and more.”

“Oh, Jack. I love you, too!”

Cue disgusting, sloppy, totally indecent make out. When the director yells cut, Louis runs to a side table where there’s an assortment of treats, and grabs a bottle of water to chug. After Louis finishes drinking, he runs back over to the director standing with Carly and Max, to make sure that the take was good.

“Wow, you three are far more talented than anyone gives you credit for. That was great! You’re done for the day, so enjoy! See you back here tomorrow!”

Ted gives them all a nod of dismissal, which leads to Carly running over to her boyfriend who always waits for her with flowers. It’s pretty cute honestly, and had it been anyone else Louis would probably find it annoying. Her boyfriend though is a really nice guy, so Louis doesn’t mind it as much. 

Pulling his gaze away from the couple to head back to his dressing room, Louis senses a person lingering nearby.

“I didn’t mean to push you so hard.”

Max - with his luxurious black hair and heavenly cobalt eyes, he could make any heart melt without trying. And here he is, standing in front of Louis who has fought so hard to forget him.

“I mean, I deserved it.”

“No, you didn’t.”

Silence churns between them, and Louis has a million words he knows he wants to say, but won’t. Even if he did, it would never change what has happened. But thankfully, before the silence becomes painfully awkward, Max talks again.

“Look, I didn’t just want to apologize only for that. I uh, I also wanted to say that once this movie is over, we won’t have any reason to see each other again, but I’ve been thinking that maybe I don’t want that? I don’t want to be with you, I said my peace on that matter, but I miss you as a friend, and I’m hoping maybe we could stay that way?”

How does Louis always fall for the ones who are impossibly too good for him?

“Max, I would love to still be your friend.”

Like a rainbow after the storm, a bright grin shines impeccably on Max’s face for Louis, who smirks back amicably in response. As the smiles are exchanged, Louis extends out his hand in an offer of truce. When Max takes his hand and shakes it, the tension in the air dissipates, and Louis’ heart hurts just a little less. It's not completely healed, but it's enough.

* * * *

“Hello, love. What time is your plane coming in?”

His Mum’s voice soothes Louis like a warm hug, which only makes Louis more impatient in receiving a real one from her. It’s been too long since they’ve been together, and now there’s only a plane ride away before he can physically see her and his sisters again.

“Hi Mum, I’ll be there by noon.”

“Everyone can’t wait! It’s been forever, boo. It's just so hard now that my precious baby is all grown up.”

“Mum…I’m twenty-nine. I’ve been grown up for a while.”

“Still as cheeky as ever too.”

“Learned from the best, haven’t I? But her, I have to go. I’m about to board the plane.”

“Right, see you soon. Tell Melissa that I can’t wait to meet her!”

“Will do, bye!”

Louis drops his phone in his right pocket and pulls his backpack onto him tighter. Melissa stays in her seat in the waiting area by their gate, appearing exhausted without any make-up on.

“Me Mum says hi.”

“Tell me again how I got conned into going home with you?”

“Because you don’t have a life without me.”

Melissa chuckles, “Right, forgot about that," she says until she begins stretching in her seat, while a yawn releases from her open mouth.

Lying isn’t a common occurrence in Louis’ discourse, but obviously, that's not the real reason as to why he asked Melissa to come home with him. Louis convinced Melissa that it was about time she meets the family since she’s been in his life for a while now, but truthfully, Louis didn’t want to go to his reunion alone. All his friends are bringing someone else, how would it look if he went stag? Especially because he’s the famous movie star, and he'd like to meet at least some of his old classmates’ expectations of him. Not to mention, Melissa is a total babe, though Louis would never admit that to her. So showing up to this party with her beside him, would make Louis look ten times better - at least according to his own logic. 

“Louis? Are you going to bitch if I want the window seat?”

“What do you think?”

Melissa starts pulling her bags onto her shoulder as the sections are being called.

“You’re such a fucking princess.”

Louis smirks because yeah…he knows.

* * * *

The minute the plane lands, Louis’ body begins to tingle as the familiar scenery invades his view. He’s home. Melissa and Louis rush off, making their way to baggage claim where a group of gorgeous girls suddenly swarm the two of them like bees.

“Louis!”

“Hello loves! Oi, watch where you're pulling. I swear you’re all gonna kill me one of these days.”

Louis’ Mum laughs as she watches her son being suffocated by hugs. Melissa laughs along too, taking a million pictures of the scene to use as potential blackmail against him. 

“Okay girls, let him go. Mum needs a hug too, and Louis needs to grab his bags.”

Spreading his arms wide, Louis wraps his Mum up, holding her close like they haven’t seen each other in forever. And honestly, that’s how it feels. Despite not wanting to, they break apart, and Louis genuinely looks forward to the days ahead of him. But first, they have to get back to his house. So after Louis' introductions between his family and Mel, after they collect all their belongings off the track, after they shuffle altogether inside the small car, they finally make the trip back to Holmes Chapel. 

Louis’ seen his family more than he’s been back to this town, and immediately it’s nostalgic - overwhelmingly so. With each road passing like ruins of ancient history, Louis struggles to grasp the sensation that washes over him. There's just something profound about going back to the place where it all started. Something bittersweet as it rests within his bones - 

This feeling of coming home. 

* * * *

Sitting in the back with his sisters, who all fell asleep only twenty minutes into the drive, Louis’ phone vibrates. When he manages to twist his arm out from under one of the girl’s heads, he grabs the device and checks to see his notification. It’s a text from Zayn.

Can’t wait to see you! Li and I are getting there at 7

Of course you are. Always late

Better late than never

Early bird gets the worm

I already have the worm

You have worms?!? How unfortunate!

You’re a brat

Just get there early for once in your life!

We’ll try

Yeah yeah. See you then!

Zayn Malik is the eighth world wonder. It’s not just his unholy beauty that deserves the recognition, but the fact that the entire universe seems to work in his favor. One of the many ways that Louis finds this to be true, is the fact that time does not wait for anyone, except it waits for Zayn. As minutes and seconds pass for the rest of the world, Zayn manages to live ignorant to them, as if time itself simply does not exist. When Zayn started dating Liam, it became a little better because Liam is quite punctual, but even Liam Payne could not completely change the being that which is Zayn. So as everyone else has learned to do, Louis smiles and just accepts it as how it is.

* * * *

Zipping up the back of her dress, Melissa turns around to display her attire to her audience...or rather to Louis. As he assesses what she's wearing, Louis grins to show that he likes the form-fitting, purple lace dress that hugs her body down to her knees.

“You look absolutely smashing.”

“Thanks," she beams wildly. "And you look very posh yourself. Black on black is always a good choice.”

“Couldn’t agree more. I’m actually a bit nervous bout tonight. Not sure whose face I’m going to remember, it’s been ten years since I’ve seen most of these people.”

“I’m sure no one will be offended if you can’t recall their name. And just don’t make it obvious if you don’t.”

“True," he agrees. "It’s weird honestly because in school it was always me, Zayn, and Niall. If they weren’t going tonight, I wouldn’t be bothering. I actually didn’t care for most of the people I had classes with back then.”

“Well if you’re not going for those people anyway, then don’t waste a minute worrying about them. Go for your friends, and have fun. Fuck everyone else.”

Louis smirks, “And that’s exactly why you’re my favorite assistant.”

“I’m your only assistant,” she quickly rebuttals.

Bending down, Louis gives her a light kiss on the cheek as she glares at him with a teasing expression.

“Love you!”

“Yeah, yeah," Melissa shrugs off. "Let’s get going before I change my mind.”

* * * *

“Well if it isn’t Louis ‘The Tommo’ Tomlinson!”

“Nialler!”

Expanding his arms wide, Louis grabs Niall into a tight hold, as the boys both pat each other on their backs. With the reunion only having started twenty minutes ago, there seems to be quite a few people at the venue already. Zayn, of course, is not present yet.

“Niall, have you met Melissa before? She’s my lovely and completely brilliant assistant.”

Niall’s eyes scan over the brunette beauty, who giggles as the blonde takes her hand within his, and kisses the top of her knuckles.

“So lovely to meet you, darlin’. I’m Niall Horan.”

After they exchange introductions, Niall tangles his arms back across his chest.

“I don’t know where Harry’s gone off to, think he said he was getting us drinks.”

“Oh right, I forgot you mentioned a Harry. Is that your boyfriend?”

“Boyfriend?!? Louis, are you kidding me right now? Harry? You don’t remember Harry?”

Staring dumbfoundedly, Niall’s mouth plummets open in shock as Louis stares for a few more seconds, before shrugging his shoulders.

“No?”

“Fuck, do you ever listen when we talk? Harry is the one that used to live next to me. The younger, little curly headed kid?”

“Styles? Two years younger, cried once because I threw his banana out the window of the bus?”

“Yes! We’ve been living together for like two years now, mate. Told you this so long ago.”

“Living together, really?”

“Yeah! When I broke up with Barbara, I needed a place to live, and my Mum had been talking to Anne - his Mum - who said that Harry was in London and in need of a flatmate, as well.”

“Wow! Some luck!”

“Tell me about it. So yeah, I brought him with me tonight.”

“Nice! Oh speaking of drinks, Mel, do you want something? Think I’m gonna grab meself a beer.”

“Yeah, I’ll have one too. Thanks.”

As soon as Louis takes a few steps away, out of the corner of his eye, he can see Niall inch closer into Melissa’s space. It’s not surprising, in fact, Louis was selfishly hoping they would hit it off. As he continues his glances, he finds a gentle smile on Melissa’s face that he hasn’t seen in a while, as she looks up at his friend. Louis decides that he should take a long detour on his way getting back to them. 

The both of them could certainly use some fun tonight.

* * * *

Strolling up to the bar at the back of the venue is uncomfortable. There are quite a lot of people that watch Louis pass by with strange expressions on their face. They watch him, whispering to one another as he walks until they revert back to watching him again. All of which happening, without any of them, saying a word to Louis. He’s not sure if he should take it as a compliment that people know the kind of career he’s made for himself, or if it’s to be taken as an insult. Either way, he ignores it as best as he can at the bar counter, while he waits for his order of two beers.

As Louis watches the bartender, a person that had been beside him slides closer into Louis’ vicinity. Before Louis can prepare, a deep raspy voice whispers into his ear.

“You know Curly, bananas are shit for your health.”

Louis’ cerulean gaze widens in surprise at the comment, because he in fact, had been the one to initially say those words over ten years ago. As he steps away to analyze the person who is talking to him, the first thing he comes to are green eyes. At first, Louis doesn’t recognize this unfairly gorgeous man with his loose curly brown hair touching his shoulders, and a satin pink grin, resting in a cocky smirk on his face. But the second his gaze returns the green staring back…Louis realizes he can recall those emerald irises anywhere.

“Styles.”

Harry Styles laughs as Louis acknowledges who he is, and steps in for a quick hug. When they pull away, they both use a few seconds to take one another in, observing the changes that have been made since the last time they’d seen one other. Harry has grown taller and broader; the years clearly have treated him well. His once curvy hips have melted off his skin, leaving behind a lean, toned torso that has Louis catching his breath. Honestly, Harry’s gorgeous, inexplicably so.

“Lou, you look great!”

“I forgot you used to call me that. And thanks Harry, you as well!”

“Well, I didn’t. Nor did I forget about the day you murdered my innocent banana.”

Even though Harry’s tone is accusing, his face is anything but. He’s smiling radiantly, and his eyes are shimmering as they watch Louis with pure amusement.

“Are you really holding a grudge? Calm down Curly, thought you were better than that?”

“If it was primary I’d have let it go. But you did it to me when I was in grade nine!”

“That was incredible. You should have seen your face. Classic.”

“There’s only one way to resolve this now.”

“What do you mean resolve," Louis scoffs. "It happened over ten years ago!”

“Doesn’t matter," Harry grins. "You want to be on my good graces again, you’re going to have to take a shot with me.”

“A shot?”

“Yes.”

“I feel like this is just a ploy to get me massively drunk, and Niall’s behind it.”

Chuckles bellow from deep within Harry as he shakes his head along with his laughter, all while signaling to the bartender to come back over and make them their shots. Louis tries very hard not to stare at Harry’s perfect porcelain teeth as their exposed with his toothy grin, or stare at the younger boy’s soft neck, thinking of all the ways he could mark it up. No, Louis tries very hard not to look at or think about that.

“No, I swear Niall is not behind this. It’s a drink to commemorate our newfound friendship.”

“I don’t recall agreeing that we were friends, but I guess I’ll allow it if it means I’m getting a free drink.”

The cheeky smile on Louis’ face has the curly lad rolling his eyes sarcastically back at him, but then a cockiness erupts like a volcano on Harry’s mouth, spouting hot lava at Louis’ unprotected heart. The sight is so celestial, so divine, that Louis’ stomach mutates into ravenous butterflies sputtering at the fabric of his soul.

“Whoever said that I was paying?”

Louis regains his consciousness at Harry’s teasing words.

“This is anarchy!”

“You killed off my banana. You’re righting your wrongs.”

“Why do I get the feeling I’m not gonna win this argument?”

Leaning in so close that Louis holds his breath for fear of being enslaved by the smell of Harry’s skin, Harry licks his lips, allowing his deep voice to swirl like a whirlpool in the limited space between their heads.

“Because you’re not.”

As Harry’s shamrock eyes meet Louis’ sapphire gaze, Harry then winks and Louis is utterly gone. His inside have imploded, letting the butterflies run rampant beneath his skin. His brain has malfunctioned, causing the synapses to falter and lag. Louis can hardly identify the pain amongst all the chaos, but the prominent burning of his cheeks stands out above the rest, feeling as if he left his face wash on too long and knowing they must be an awful crimson red. Looking anywhere but at the younger lad, Louis quickly acknowledges that Harry Styles is sure to be the death of him.

* * * *

Smashed. Wasted. Drunk. Louis is five shots down thanks to Harry, and he’s feeling every ounce of the alcohol spread like water in his veins. As the two newly made friends are gleefully drunk, they make their way back over to Melissa and Niall, who seem to be hitting it off spectacularly well, and alongside them are Zayn and Liam.

“It’s amazing. I knew Louis would get a reaction out of everyone. I knew people would be staring, or maybe even bother him to say, ‘hi’ like they had been friends before, but Zayn? I didn't think Zayn would get this much attention at all. It’s startling.”

Niall is talking into their group, which has circled around towards the back corner of the event, bringing his beer up to his lips as Liam responds to his comment.

“Well, you all have managed to achieve a lot since you’ve graduated. I’m sure everyone here is wishing they had been friends with you before.”

Zayn leans in to kiss Liam on his cheek just as Louis cuts in next.

“Honestly, the only reason I even came to this stupid reunion was to see all your ugly mugs again.”

Everyone in the circle nods their heads in agreement until Zayn speaks up.

“Why don’t we ditch this place and go have some real fun then?”

Louis looks back mischievously when he responds.

“My god Zayn, that’s the best thing you’ve said all night.”

* * * *

Standing at the counter for the blonde haired bartender to fix them their drinks, the boys and Melissa are huddled together. Louis is more than glad that Zayn offered to leave, the reunion was filled with all these people Louis was happy to forget, meaning retreating was no hardship for him. Plus, the bar they’re at now has a cool, eclectic vibe with trendy music, and is filled with only the people that matter to Louis anymore. So essentially, it’s perfect.

* * * *

“Liiiiii, stop stealing Zaynie away from me!”

As Louis’ body sways like a dandelion in the wind, he chuckles to himself as he thinks about being inebriated. Louis may have a hard time admitting somethings about himself, but he can admit without a single doubt, that he’s a shitty drunk. He’s brash, and whiny, and he’s clingy beyond belief. And after drinking a few whiskey sours since they’ve gotten to the bar, he’s struggling to maintain his overly intoxicated self.

“Louis! Stop bothering my husband. If you want to see me, then see me. Stop hiding away in LA.”

“Don’t be rude, Zayn. I’m gonna cling to my best mate Niall, at least he understands me.”

Louis leaves the two lovebirds who laugh in his wake, for Niall and Melissa a few feet away. Harry has run off somewhere, and Louis wants to know why there’s a part of him terribly upset about that.

“Neil! Talk to me!”

“What do you want?”

Louis slings his arm over Niall’s shoulders, and leans in to his ear to whisper, even though in his drunker state, Louis’ whisper is still at a normal talking level.

“I want to know why Harry is proper fit. Like, fuck…he’s so…wow.”

“Louis? Are you hitting on me flatmate?”

“No! I’m hitting on Curly!”

Niall shakes his head as he chuckles at Louis, even Melissa giggles closely beside the Irishman. Louis pulls his arm back to his side and starts to listen very carefully to Niall, as if he has all the answers known to man. Well…more like all the answers about Harry, known to man.

“I can’t tell you what to do. You’re both consenting adults, but if you break his heart, Louis…I will break your face.”

“What the fuck? You’re supposed to be my best mate!”

“You are, but I live with Harry. And I’m the one that’s going to be there to pick up the pieces. Not you.”

“Fine, fine! Not like my broken heart doesn’t matter or anything.”

“You won’t tell me about Eleanor, so not sure how I’m supposed to know if your heart is broken or not!”

Before Louis can respond, a larger figure comes up behind him, speaking before Louis can form his own words.

“Eleanor? Who’s that?”

There’s a sharp sensation that runs up Louis’ spine due to the sound coming to him. Harry’s voice saying Eleanor’s name sounds wrong in a million and a half ways to Louis, and now everyone’s attention is on him when he doesn’t want it to be. Suddenly feeling very cornered, and claustrophobic, Louis does the next best thing he can do. Divert everyone’s attention.

“Not anyone I want to think about right this second. Harry…mind stepping out with me while I smoke?”

Harry nods his head, following behind Louis obediently as he keeps in step with the shorter boy. Eventually, they reach the back door and step out in the chilly night air. Once they've made it onto the balcony, Louis decides that maybe the best way to handle this is just to be honest.

“Sorry, I uhm…I lied. I don’t actually smoke.”

Harry’s eyebrows raise in pleasant surprise, “Oh? Then what’d you want me out here for?”

“I didn’t wanna talk about Eleanor.”

Louis leans forward on the railing surrounding the balcony they’re on, allowing his hands to rest on the black iron. Harry inches closer to him, leaning his forearm against the same post while staring at Louis, their hands nearly touching.

“You sure about that? When I pull people away from the rest of the group to a more private area, it’s either because I have something to tell them, or I have something to show them. If you catch my drift.”

As the last word departs from Harry, Harry bites hard at his plump bottom lip, generating a truck loud of arousal to harden Louis’ cock. Apparently alcohol combined with Harry equals Louis being easily turned on.

“You don’t pull people away to sit and stare at dirty alleyways?”

The giggles that pour from Harry sound like symphonies to Louis’ ears, “Not on a first date.”

“Clearly you’re doing the wrong kind of things in dark and dingy alleys then.”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Harry’s smile is cheeky, and it causes something to stir within Louis’ bones. Yeah, he thinks to himself, he does want to know.

“Don’t flatter yourself, Curly.”

“Well since you don’t seem to want any sexual favors, I take it then that it’s the other option as to why you pulled me out. You do want to talk.”

“You wouldn’t want to listen to me drone on about her.”

“Assuming makes an ass out of you and me.”

Louis cocks his eyebrow at Harry as the younger boy chants with boisterous thrill. When Louis rolls his eyes, he directs his focus out on to the street below them, as Harry goes in to speak.

“Look, I do actually want to listen to you drone on and on. I quite like listening to people’s stories, helps me figure them out.”

“You serious?’

“As serious as a heart attack.”

“Oh god, you sound like my nan.”

Harry throws his head back in laughter and Louis shoves him in the shoulder. If Louis was sober the shove would have been just that, but drunk Louis sort of gropes his shoulder more than shoves it, and then tries to ignore what Harry’s large biceps feel like in his hands.

“Fine, I guess I’m drunk enough for this conversation. So Eleanor is my ex-girlfriend. We were dating for a little over a year, and I thought things were great. Well…okay I shouldn’t say that. Gotta be honest with myself, don’t I?”

“Yes, don’t hide anything. Give me all your truths.”

“I cheated.”

“Wow. Didn’t see that coming.”

The way Harry’s expression instantly changes shows Louis that he's genuine. He honestly did not expect Louis to say it, and truthfully, no one would.

“Eleanor and I had hardly been talking at this point, and I knew we were heading towards our inevitable end. We weren’t working at all, but she was one of my closest friends, and it was hard to get to that point where I was willing to risk losing her completely.”

“You don’t think ex’s can be friends?”

“I’m not saying that," Louis clarifies. "I didn’t think Eleanor, and I could be friends. So I was pushing it off, and then I started working on this movie. I didn’t even tell anyone I had a girlfriend. Why bother when we were going to break up soon, anyway? But then I met this guy…and I can admit when I’m being a flirt, but I never - not once - thought I gave him the impression that I was interested. And still, he kissed me. We were practicing a scene and he just lunged forward. He apologized profusely afterward and said he didn’t even know if I was interested in men or not, so he felt horrible. But I didn’t stop him. And then I did it back, without telling him I had a girlfriend or that I wasn’t interested in being in a relationship. We didn’t have sex but we did enough, and yes I’m aware that everything I did was wrong. I lied and I lead him on.”

“At least you can admit that it was your own mistake you made.”

“I guess. And I can, and I do. But I made the mistake a couple times before I realized what I was doing was unforgivable. When I finally pulled away from him, he couldn’t understand, he kept trying to talk to me or call me. I didn’t know what to tell him. And then one day, Eleanor came on set to surprise me, and when everyone asked who she was only to find out she was my girlfriend, Mark was fucking pissed.”

“That sucks.”

“Yeah, well it gets worse. On Saint Patrick’s Day, the cast members invited me out to a party they were having, and I told Eleanor she should come. Instead, she wanted to hang out with her friends, and I thought nothing of it. Well, I went to the party for only an hour because I couldn’t stand the dagger eyes I was getting from Mark, and when I finally made it home, low and behold, Eleanor was fucking our next door neighbor, Ben.”

“Holy shit.”

“Yeah. She said they’d been dating behind my back for the past three months, and that she didn’t know how to break up with me either. And it’s funny to say, because that night was one of the best nights Eleanor and I had. We were honest with each other for the first time about everything. What was there to hide anymore? I told her how I cheated on her with this other guy, and she told me she could never fall in love with me. It was great.”

“Lou…that’s…”

“It’s okay. After she left, I had a hard time accepting a lot of things about myself. I’m not a cheater, but at the time, there was so much pent up from my relationship, and from hiding my own sexuality that Mark was just the catalyst for it all.”

Harry ponders, “What do you consider yourself now?”

“My sexuality? I don’t like identifying, but if I had to, I’d say that for the most part I’m gay. I could have sex with a girl, but I don’t really want to. I could be in a relationship with a girl, but I don’t really want to. That was hard for me to recognize. I think for a long time I wanted to make my family proud by having a wife, and I kept trying to force myself to make that happen. In my mind, my mentality was that I could hook up with guys, but in the end I would still be married to a woman. Eventually I had an epiphany, and realized I didn’t want that anymore, I don’t think I ever really did.”

Nerves start to storm inside of Louis. He’s sure this is the part of the conversation where Harry remains silent because he’s not sure what to say anymore. Louis was honest. He admitted that he was unfaithful, unloyal, and an overall twat. Why would Harry even consider to keep the conversation between them going? Louis knows that even his own friends would probably walk away from him after admitting the truth. But the end never comes. The noise from the bar echoes in the background as the two boys stay leaned against the balcony railing, and just when Louis is looking for anything to say, Harry’s voice cuts in like an answer Louis didn’t realize he was praying for.

“You can’t beat yourself up for things out of your control. Not that it makes it any better, but Eleanor was cheating as well. It wasn’t just you, and you didn’t sneak around for a long time, or try to stay with her. You accepted the mistakes you both made, and you learned from them. That’s a lot better than most people could do, so I wouldn’t stress yourself out over it. And yeah, I identify as gay as well, but unlike you I’ve always known. Sometimes it would still be hard though, telling people I was interested in boys. If my family wasn’t so open, I’m sure my time with accepting myself would have been a lot more difficult.”

“You’ve always known? There wasn’t like one defining moment in your life, where you were like, oh?”

“Well I mean yeah, there was. When everything was just really clarified for me.”

“When?”

Harry gives Louis this curious look as if testing to see if he can trust Louis with the information he’s withholding.

“You’re going to laugh.”

“No I won’t, promise.”

“Okay erm. Well, when I was nine, I had to admit that I had a very serious crush on my neighbor’s best mate.”

“Zayn?”

Harry blanches, “No! You. I had a crush on you, you idiot.”

Louis' mouth gapes, until his mouth explodes in laughter, “That’s hilarious.”

“You said you wouldn’t judge!”

“I’m not laughing because of that," Louis quickly reassures, emphasizing his point by placing his hands on Harry's arms. "I’m laughing because you were my defining moment too.”

“Me?”

“Yep! The real reason that I threw your banana out of the bus window all those years ago, was because how you were eating it - was getting me hard," Louis retells unashamedly. 

“Shut the fuck up.”

Both the boys are hysterical alongside one another, at Louis’ embarrassing confession.

“Swear on me life. I was watching you, and it was like porn. I don’t know who taught you how to eat a banana, but you should sue. That is indecent.”

Harry giggles into his question, “So you’re telling me that you threw my banana away so that I would stop turning you on, yeah?”

“Yes.”

“Incredible.”

“It is though, isn’t it? Because yeah, I mean we were friendly with one another, but not really friends at the time. Just funny how that turned out.”

Harry shakes his head in agreement, “Maybe it’s a sign.”

“For what?”

“I don't know? Guess we’ll have to wait and see.”

Louis’ face illuminates at Harry’s comment, and he smirks at the boy just before he traces his own pupils away to focus on the midnight sky. As he scans over the distant galaxy, he finds nothing as dazzling as the juniper waves of Harry’s irises. But then...then he sees a shooting star skate across the infinite expanse of blackness, and Louis can't help but to close his lids and make a wish.

* * * *

“Oi! Louis, Harry! We’re heading out!!”

Niall yells at them from across the bar as the two boys walk in from the back balcony. When they make it over, Louis asks everyone where they are heading to next. 

“Back to our hotel," Zayn replies, "Liam and I were hoping we’d all end up back there, so we got a large suite. There’s enough rooms for everyone to have a place to sleep.”

“You’re the best Zaynie.”

Louis grabs Zayn’s face and smothers a wet kiss on his cheek, as Zayn laughs furiously and shoves Louis away.

“Yeah, yeah. Save it for Harry.”

At Zayn’s comment, Louis’ cheeks ignite with fire and when he turns his head to catch sight of Harry just a few paces behind him, he notices Harry’s cheeks are tinted a shade of red, as well. Louis fonds over him, listing all the ways he finds the boy beautiful in his head, before he’s being disrupted by a pair of hands throwing him inside a car.

* * * *

“So Melissa…you’re getting on with Niall quite nicely.”

Louis and Melissa are in the backseat of Zayn’s driver’s car. It’s just them two, as the four other boys follow behind in Niall’s car. Apparently, Niall felt the need to have a talk with Harry and decided to kick Louis out, and Louis being the gentleman that he is, suckered Melissa into tagging along with him. Zayn and Liam also went along with the other two boys just out of pure curiosity.

“Speak for yourself. You and Harry? What’s all that about? You seem like two long lost lovers.”

A grin wider than the miles between the Earth and the Sun forms on Louis’ face, and it’s too hard to hide it. Louis even giggles at what Melissa said, leaving her to stare at him in mild horror and shock.

“Wow, you’ve really got it bad?”

“He’s just really nice, but I hardly know him.”

“Thought you grew up together?"

“Sort of. He was always there. He was Niall’s neighbor, and anytime we went to Niall’s to hangout, he would show up too. But obviously as we got older, we all started to have our own friends. Harry was two years younger, so he had a completely different crowd of people than us.”

“It’s still nice that you’ve known him for so long though. Even if it wasn’t closely.”

“Yeah, I guess it is.”

“You know, I forgot to ask. How’s your decision going for the movie role?”

“It’s not,” Louis sighs.

“I figured. I wasn’t going to tell you this because…well Simon asked me not to. But also because I wanted to see how this reunion went before I said anything. But…”

“But…?”

“You’ve been offered another role for a different project.”

“Another role?”

“It’s not a movie. It’s for a TV show that’s in the works, and they want you for their lead male character. Simon didn’t want me to say anything because the character they want you for is bisexual, and the scenes are going to be fairly explicit for TV, but I think you’d like this offer better.”

“A show? I’ve never thought about doing a show before. And I’m not opposed to a bisexual character. I think that would actually be sort of interesting for me.”

Melissa smiles, “That’s what I thought.”

“Is that why you thought I’d like this offer better?”

“No…I thought you’d like this offer better because the show will be filming in London.”

Everything in the entire universe freezes except for Louis, who’s internally freaking out. This is it. This is the best of both worlds. He could do what he loves, and be close to his family again. What is there even to consider? The character’s sexuality? Please, Simon will need to get over that. Louis’ more than ready to widen his horizon in the acting field.

But maybe…maybe the show flops? Or maybe the show decides he’s not right for the part? Maybe he spends all his time moving back to London, just to have to go back to LA in the end? He couldn’t do it a second time. The first time leaving his family was hard enough, but back then, everything he thought he was missing was in LA. Now, everything he knows he’s missing is home. London. If he had to leave everything behind again, he couldn’t make it out unscathed.

Scenario after scenario crashes and burns against Louis’ mind like a meteorite, and he’s trying to catch his breath again but time speeds up and suddenly the world is running faster than before.

“Louis? What’s wrong?”

“What if…what if the show doesn’t take off after season one? What if I have to go back to LA in the end?”

“Hon, please don’t worry about that. Do what you want. What feels right. There are plenty of opportunities in London that we’ve never sought before. If you don’t succeed with this one, there will be another.”

“It’s funny," Louis admits. "Because I know there are tons of opportunities both television and film wise in London, but I always thought that I needed to make it in America if I wanted to make it big. But now I’ve got a lot of recognition, so I don’t know what I’m afraid of.”

“I don’t know what you’re afraid of either. You’ll be amazing no matter if you’re in America, the UK, or Africa. You’re destined for greatness, Louis Tomlinson. There’s no changing your fate.”

“And what about you? What will you do if I move back to London?”

“I’ll come along, of course.”

“Really?”

Melissa rolls her eyes, “Yes, really. I believe you're the one who told me that I have no life outside of you. How could I possibly live if you were a thousand miles away?”

Laughing, Louis embraces Melissa in a hug, and silently thanks whatever gods are out there, for letting her in his life.

“You’re the best.”

“No Louis," She whispers, "You are.”

* * * *

Once the two cars pull up to the hotel, everyone steps out and groups again in the lobby, before they take an elevator and make it to the top floor. Once inside the hotel suite, everyone seems to be normal, aside from Harry who’s given a lot of distance between himself and Louis. It’s a little confusing, seeing as Louis was sure they were getting close. But he shakes away the thoughts and focuses on Zayn, who seems to be yelling out about some other nonsense.

“So there are three rooms. Obviously one for me and the hubby, and the rest are up for grabs.”

Niall comments back in confusion, “Zayn, I thought you said there was enough room for all of us to sleep here?”

“There is.”

“You just said there are only two other bedrooms.”

Zayn smirks at Liam whose captivated by Zayn, as usual, before turning back to Niall. “Sharing is caring, my friend.”

And wait, what? Louis is annoyed when he snaps at Zayn, “Excuse me? I love Melissa, but there is no way in hell I’m sharing a bed with her. She’s still my employee, and there are a few places I have to draw the line.”

After Louis’ comment, Melissa responds, too, “I agree. There are a lot of things we’re comfortable to do with each other, but sharing a bed is a little too intimate for my liking.”

Zayn huffs out a sigh, “Fine. Niall and Melissa in one room, Harry and Louis in another. Anyone else who doesn’t like the idea can just sleep on the couch. Night!”

With his last declaration hung out in the room, Zayn waves goodnight as he drags Liam into the furthest bedroom, shutting the door dramatically behind them. After a few moments have passed, Niall fills the quiet with a question directed towards Melissa.

“Okay….uhm, so Melissa? Do you…want to…?”

“Fine, yes. Let’s just go now before I change my mind.”

As the two walk off into another room, Louis is left in the living room with only Harry. It’s awkward for some unknown reason he can’t decipher, and Louis isn’t sure what to say, but he tries with whatever comes out of his mouth first.

“So…”

“Lou, I can sleep on the couch.”

“No-”

“It’s not a problem, honest.”

“Harry, stop. You and I both know that we’ll spend the next ten minutes arguing over who’s taking the bed and who’s taking the couch, when in reality, neither of us really want the couch. Just…let’s get into the room and if it’s truly uncomfortable we can figure it out then.”

“Okay.”

As Louis follows Harry, he wishes desperately that this night doesn’t end here - in the next five minutes with them just falling asleep.

* * * *

“Do you have a preference to which side you sleep on?”

Harry is standing in only his black Calvin Klein boxers, having taken off his clothes for bed, and Louis is struggling to keep his composure as he talks out to him. Harry naked is the single best thing his eyes have ever set sight on, and he can now die a happy man.

“I prefer the right.”

“Good, because I prefer the left.”

Louis pulls at the sheets, sliding his body under the covers as Harry does the same on the other side. Once both of them have adjusted their limbs in the way most comfortable for them - Louis with his back to Harry and Harry with his back to Louis - Louis asks aloud, “Did I do something wrong?”

It’s not exactly what he meant to say, but he’s still far from sober, and his drunk mind has no filter.

“Why would you think that?”

“Dunno know. You seem distant.”

The mattress shifts and Louis can hear as Harry’s body turns over, so he follows suit, moving his torso so that he’s facing Harry in the middle of the bed. When Louis looks up into Harry’s gaze, a chartreuse sea washes over him and he can’t think of much else as he’s caught in the waves of Harry’s world.

“Niall and I had a talk in the car. He just made some valid points.”

Louis' brows furrow, “Do I wanna know what these points are?”

“Probably not.”

“Can you tell me anyway?”

Harry stares for a beat too long until he sighs, turning over so that he’s lying on his back. With his focus up on the ceiling, Louis remains watching, waiting to listen as Harry answers.

“He said that you’ve got a big heart, and that you’re capable of being in love, but that you don’t put your heart out there for it to happen. You tend to close in on yourself when things get rough, and that you’re loyal to a fault. Sometimes you don’t give new people a chance in your life.”

“Wow," Louis releases. "That’s pretty scary, innit? When someone can identify you better than yourself? He’s not wrong, you know? Every relationship I’ve had, I never allowed myself to love them, even if they loved me. I don’t know why I do that. It’s not that I don’t want to be in love, or be in a relationship. I just have a hard time in believing things will last. I’m used to a temporary life. People are temporary. My jobs are temporary. The places I live are temporary. I want something stable more than anyone could possibly know, but I haven’t had that chance yet.”

“But you’re open to it? You’re open to trying to see if things could become that way?”

“Of course. And he’s right, I do tend to keep most people out of my life aside from those who are already a part of it, but I don’t need a lot of people. I find that the more people involved, the harder it is.”

“Makes sense," Harry confesses. 

The room falls quiet, and Louis listens to the soft breaths that the other boy exhales, before asking another question.

“Is that all he said?”

“No.”

“What else did he say?”

This time, Harry leans up to glance directly at Louis as he says this next part carefully.

“He said that it’d be naïve of me to expect something when your home is on the other side of the country.”

Louis groans at that because it's a fair point, but it sucks. “Well, he’s wrong. My home is here. London is, and will always be, my home.”

“Still doesn’t change the fact that you’re never here, though.”

“What if I told you that I want to be?”

“Want to be what?”

“Here. What if I told you that I was trying my best to come back to London? Would that change anything?”

Harry shrugs, “Don’t know? Guess that depends on what it is exactly that you’re trying to change.”

Honestly, that’s a good question. Harry and Louis. Louis and Harry. That’s not really a thing yet, and somehow Louis is very concerned about the idea that it might not make it. Louis’ very concerned about something ending before it’s even begun.

“I’m trying to change this. Us. I know we’re not all the much yet, but we’ve got something - I know you can sense that too. And that’s a start.”

“And then what? I stay here with a broken heart while you fool around through the hills of LA?”

“No," Louis defends. "I’d take you out on a date, and buy you lilies because I vaguely recall you saying they were your favorite when you were a kid. Then I’d take you to a restaurant that I have a feeling you would love, and ask you all these questions that I’m dying to know. After, when we’re full, I’d drive you home to your place, and I’d walk you to your door because I’m sort of old-fashioned. And when you tell me that you had a good night, I’d lean forward slowly and kiss you on your cheek, hoping with everything that you’ll see me again.”

“That’s beautiful, Lou. But it’s not for us.”

“But it could be. Why can’t you see that?”

Harry argues, “Seeing it is not the problem. The problem is that I can. I can see us, I can see us working flawlessly, and that scares me. It scares me because the chance of it actually happening is slim, and yet -  somehow - it’s something that I want very much. We’ve been talking for only a few hours, how is it even possible that there’s this sense that everything is going to be alright when I’m with you? That just doesn’t happen, ever.”

“You know, I understand what you’re saying. I’m…I’m sorry I even brought it up.”

“Oh Lou, don’t be.”

The minute Harry’s voice can no longer be heard, the quiet steps purposefully into their room, coming unto them like an old friend. But Louis isn’t ready for the silence to set in just yet.

“If nothing else, you should know that you’re absolutely amazing, Harry. Anyone would be beyond lucky to have you.”

A broken smile appears adoringly on Harry’s face for Louis, and then the boy inches his head forward until his strawberry lips kiss the older lad on his forehead. For Louis, everything tingles as if bees have sprouted on his skin. The only place that feels different is his head where the warmth that had come from the heat of Harry’s mouth, quickly chills upon the departure of the boy’s lips. Louis wants more. He wants it all. He wants to devour Harry’s heart until he’s absolutely and undoubtedly ruined, but with all his will power, Louis shuts those thoughts in a cage and locks them out. He’s so entrapped in his own mind that he nearly forgets he’s not alone when Harry’s gruff tone reverberates in the room.

“It’s the other way around, Lou. It’s the other way around.”

And even though it’s not meant to, it completely breaks Louis’ heart.

* * * *

The LA sun blinds Louis’ eyes when he exits the airport with Melissa in tow, and he takes that as a sign that things aren’t alright. When Louis finally fell asleep the other night with Harry, he woke up in the morning to ruffled sheets and an empty mattress. He was alone. He doesn’t blame Harry. Had Harry been there in the morning, they would have had to say goodbye, and Louis really didn’t feel like saying it. Honestly, how could Louis say goodbye to Harry Styles? How could anyone say goodbye to Harry Styles?

So Louis did what Louis does best, he made his rounds with his friends before leaving them behind, went back home to see his family one last time, and then ran away to LA because it’s allegedly better than facing his fears. It’s mentally taking a toll on him to keep walking away from all the he loves most, and he’s hoping that the amount of times he has to do it is dwindling, but nothing seems certain now. The only thing that still rings true is that LA isn’t home for Louis, and it never ever was.

* * * *

“Louis! Please tell me that I’m receiving this call as a response to your offer for ‘February Rain’!”

Simon’s charismatic sound comes beaming through Louis’ phone, and Louis finds it nauseating.

“Uh…yeah, I guess technically this is a response.”

“Great! I’ll call the director right away and let him know-”

“I’m not taking it.”

Simon balks, “What?”

“I’m not taking the offer, Simon. Tell me about the TV show that has been trying to contact me?”

Simon sighs heavily through the phone, and Louis knows he’s pissed off his agent. He doesn’t care though, he doesn’t find he cares much about anything at the moment.

“That’s not a good option, Louis-”

Louis snaps back, “I didn’t say give me your opinion. I said tell me about the show. Please, Simon. I’m asking nicely.”

“Fine. It’s called ‘Cannon Falls’ and it centers around a male character who’s coming to terms with his sexuality, amongst other things. They’ve called for you multiple times, Louis. I’m not going to lie, they want you badly for this role. I’m not going to state my opinion, since clearly you don’t want it, but the offer won’t even match up to a quarter of what the movie deal will.”

“It’s filming in London, correct?”

There's a heavy sigh on the other line, “Yes. If it takes off, you would be filming the show in London.”

“Simon…”

“Don’t Louis. I’m begging you. Don’t do this to me.”

“I want that role.”

“Fucking hell.”

* * * *

One Month Later

Getting out of the cab, Louis walks up to the most familiar place in his life. As he paces up the trail to the house, he stills for a minute to bask in the essence of his childhood home before he finds the front door swung wide open, and gentle arms tangling him in an embrace.

“Darling, I’m so glad you’re home.”

“Hi, Mum.”

His Mum squeezes her arms tighter until she swiftly pulls away, motioning for Louis to follow her inside.

“Come inside, love. The girls are all at school. That means we have proper time to catch up.”

Louis leaves his bags in the front area by the door, knowing all too well that he won’t be there for long. As his Mum sits on the living room couch, grabbing a cup of tea in her hands, Louis trials behind her, sitting next to her on the sofa.

“So darling, tell me - how excited are you to be back?”

“Mum," Louis beams, "I’m so happy. It feels right, yeah? Like this is what I’ve been waiting for. Everyone on this show is amazing so far, and they’ve been so welcoming to me. And getting to live in London has been better than I could have hoped for.”

“That's brilliant, boo. Niall told me that he’s excited to see your new flat.”

“Yeah, he was helping me a bit with finding one in a good location. He was going mental when I first told him I was coming back for good, and I think a part of him is happy because that means Melissa will be here, too.”

“What about Harry? What did he say when he found out?”

“I didn’t…I didn’t tell him.”

Louis' Mum puts her drink back down on the table, and Louis recognizes this as a sign for when he’s about to be scolded.

“Louis William Tomlinson!”

“What?”

“I thought you said you fancied him?”

“I do! But I don’t know what to say. We weren’t even really a thing, to begin with.”

“Don’t be nervous, love. Go to him. Go to him, and tell him that you’re back. That was his only issue, wasn’t it?”

“But what if he found someone else?”

“Don’t be daft. Louis, listen to me. I think that boy’s waited long enough. You’re home now, and you’ve been so sad since the last time you left. Clearly you are missing him. So go to him, go see him. Get him back, or whatever it is you want to do.”

“Right now?”

“Yes! Stop stalling and get out of here! And don’t come back until you have his number!”

“Mum!”

“I’m not joking! Go put your heart on the line, Louis, for once in your life. It’s going to be okay. Go fall in love. Go make me some grandbabies!”

Louis groans, “It doesn’t work like that.”

“It sure as hell won’t with an attitude like that!”

Louis laughs and gets up from the couch, allowing his anxiety and eagerness to mend together into a sensation that is driving him positively wild. His body is shaking with anticipation and he knows his Mum is right. He needs to go. He needs to win back Harry before destiny’s door is closed and the chance is gone for good.

* * * *

Louis forgot that Harry lives with Niall, and the possibility that Niall will be home while Louis does whatever it is that he’s about to do, massively embarrasses him. However, he trudges on, buzzing the flat’s number with the amount of confidence a mouse has in a lion’s den. So essentially, none.

“Hello?”

All of Louis’ nerves freeze like icicles in his veins. When Harry comes through the intercom, every significant and insignificant thought Louis has is frozen over. He’s stuck in ephemeral fear.

“Erm, hello?”

The second time that Harry’s voice rings through Louis’ mind, the ice melts, and Louis’ soul is set ablaze with nerves, anxiety, and worry. His thoughts have now jumbled together like mismatched pieces of an unopened puzzle, and he tries to fight through the confusion and fear to form some kind of statement that is worthy of Harry’s time. However, there’s only so much Louis can do at once, and forming words while also forming coherent words, seems to be a bit out of reach for him at the present.

“Uh…the weather, yeah?”

“Who is this?”

Fuck. Louis smacks his palm against his forehead, and then takes three deep breaths as he chants to himself to pull himself together. On his last exhale, he forces out something and prays that this time he gets it right.

“Harry? This is…this is Louis.”

There's a pause. 

“Louis? As in, Louis Tomlinson?”

“The one and only.”

“Hold on.”

Louis sends a million curses to himself in his head, yelling at his own piss poor efforts to retain his cool. Just as he’s mumbling more criticisms to himself, the front door to the building opens, and Harry stands in the doorway like a sacred angel at heaven’s gate. His hair is flowing effortlessly to his shoulders, he’s wearing tight fitted white jeans, and a navy blue button-down shirt that’s barely buttoned up to his abs, and Louis’ mouth is watering. He almost forgot how astonishingly beautiful Harry is. Almost.

“Wow. Harry."

The younger boy combs his fingers through his hair, diverting his eyes away from Louis before they linger too long.

“As I was coming down," he begins. "I realized that you probably came here to see Niall, in which case I could have just buzzed you up.”

“No. No, I’m actually here for uhm," Louis coughs, "For you.”

“Me?”

Harry’s brows lift in surprise, and Louis can’t tell if it’s a pleasant sort of surprise or the unfortunate opposite.

“Yeah, see," Louis decides just to go all in, "I met this guy about a month ago at my school reunion. He was unimaginably gorgeous, is unimaginably gorgeous. I knew the moment I met him that I was way in over my head, and uhm…we had a really great night together but that was all it was. When I woke up in the morning, he was gone, and I was devastated. I knew where he was coming from, but it still hurt all the same.”

“Louis.”

“Just, hear me out? At the time, I hadn’t told the guy that I had been offered a role in a TV show that would film in London, because at the time, I wasn’t sure if I actually had the part. Turns out that they were very excited to hear back from me, and said the part was mine as long as I wanted it. So here I am a month later - I have the role, I have a new flat, and I flew back home to be with my friends and family again. But as happy as I am to have all that I thought I wanted most, there’s still someone missing. I don’t know how to tell this guy that he’s all that I’ve been thinking of since I left. I don’t know how to tell this guy that I’ve Facebook stalked his account more times than I can count, but I have.”

Harry inquires, “What is it exactly you’re trying to say, Lou?”

“I’m saying that if this guy wants to, I’d like to take him out on that date I’d told him about. I’m saying that if this guy is willing, I’d like to take a risk on something that never had a chance to start.”

“You’re serious," Harry leans forward, peering into Louis. "You want to take me out on a date?”

“As serious as a heart attack.”

Harry’s laugh roars from deep within him, coming out like a love song to Louis’ ears. It’s unabashed and genuine, and Louis wants to dwell within the rhythmic sounds of its candor. As Louis watches Harry’s posture ease, he tells himself to remember this moment. To remember how inexplicably wonderful Harry really is. To remember his eyes, and his lips, and the way he seems to be glowing as if the sun herself had come down from the sky and kissed Harry with her light. Louis scans over every single skin cell, promising to himself he’s going to remember this. He’s going to remember it all.

“Alright, Lou. Tonight, eight pm. If you’re not here by exactly that time I’m putting my sweats on and watching a movie. Alone.”

Smirking, Louis replies, “You drive a hard bargain, Curly.”

Harry teases, “Just don’t murder any of my bananas, and I think we should be good.”

Louis whole-heartedly chuckles as he feels his entire being fill up with excitement and happiness, and a thing that seems a lot like it could be love, but hasn’t blossomed into that yet.

“Promise," Louis crosses his heart, "No banana killings tonight. Only good tasting food, maybe some wine, and possibly intense hand-holding. If you’re up for it, of course.”

Harry's smile is blinding, “I think that can be arranged.”

“So it’s a date?”

“Yes, it is. It’s a date. I’ll see you later, Lou.”

“See you later, Harry.”

Louis waits until Harry waves and shuts the door behind him, before allowing the galaxy that he is, to explode into a million tiny stars scattered across the sidewalk. He’s done it. Louis Tomlinson has asked Harry Styles out on a date, and there’s no possible greater feeling than that of which he is feeling right now. He feels alive, like he’s truly breathing for the first time. Tasting the oxygen in the air, smelling the flowers on the ground. When he looks up to the sky he doesn’t find himself blinded by the London sun, but welcomed with open arms in her protective heat. It all feels new. It all feels right. There is not a single doubt in Louis’ mind that this is where he’s meant to be. 

His wish that he made a month ago in a dark alleyway, next to a handsome boy with a charming smile, came true. 

He made it home.