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The Wizarding Oneshots

Summary:

#002: Kreacher infiltrates an American nuclear base because if Fiendfyre won't destroy a Horcrux, maybe splitting the atom will.

 

This is my collection of oneshots. Each chapter is its own stand alone story

Notes:

Is this crack? Is this dark? Is this both? Yes. The mental image of eleven-year-old Harry with war veteran energy casually murking the Dursleys with the Reaper's Finger is an idea that I couldn't let go. This is what happens when you try to gaslight someone who's already defeated a Dark Lord. Anyway, RIP to the Dursleys.

Chapter 1: [Harry Potter] The Arch Mage of Privet Drive

Summary:

Harry wakes up back in the cupboard, the Dursleys tell him it was all a dream but the wandless combat magic he learned during the war is very, very real.

Chapter Text


 

Harry Potter opened his eyes to the familiar water stain on the cupboard ceiling—the one that looked like a deformed spider if you stared at it long enough. He'd spent eleven years staring at it.

His heart sank.

"No," he whispered. "No, no, no—"

The door rattled. "Up! Get up! Now!"

Aunt Petunia's shrill voice. Uncle Vernon's thundering footsteps. The smell of bacon he wouldn't be allowed to eat.

It had all been a dream. Hogwarts. Magic. Ron and Hermione. Voldemort. The war. Everything.

Harry lay very still, feeling something cold and terrible crystallize in his chest. He'd lived an entire life. He'd fought, loved, lost, won. And now he was back in this cupboard, and none of it had been real.

The door flew open. "I said UP, boy!"

Vernon Dursley's purple face loomed over him, meaty hand reaching down to grab him by the shirt—

Harry moved.

It was instinct, really. Muscle memory from a life that never was. His fingers traced a pattern in the air, and Vernon Dursley stopped mid-grab, confusion flickering across his features.

"Vernon Dursley," Harry said softly, standing up in the cramped cupboard. His voice didn't sound like an eleven-year-old's voice. "Your sins are numerous and your soul is blackened by your hatred."

The words came from somewhere old and deep and nothing to do with Hogwarts. From wandless magics learned during long years of war, from powers that shouldn't exist outside of fever dreams.

Vernon opened his mouth to yell—and Harry simply touched his forehead.

The man dropped like a puppet with cut strings.

Petunia appeared in the doorway, kitchen knife clutched in her bony hand. "What did you do? Vernon! What did you—"

Harry turned to look at her, and she froze. Something in his eyes, perhaps. Something that had seen too much to ever fit back into childhood.

"I'm going to give you a choice, Aunt Petunia," he said quietly, stepping over Vernon's body. "You can run. Or you can try to use that knife."

She tried to use the knife.

She shouldn't have tried to use the knife.

 


 

An hour later, Harry Potter stood in the kitchen of Number Four, Privet Drive, surrounded by a silence so complete it rang in his ears. His hands weren't shaking. They should have been shaking—he was eleven years old—but they weren't.

Because somewhere in his mind, he knew the truth now. It hadn't been a dream. It couldn't have been. You didn't learn those spells in dreams. You didn't develop the kind of power that could drop a grown man with a touch, that could manifest magic without a wand, without words, without anything but will and fury.

He'd been sent back. Or trapped here. Or cursed.

But he'd learned quite a repertoire of wandless magics during his time away from Hogwarts, including one particularly useful spell called the Reaper's Finger. A touch-range killing curse, elegant in its simplicity.

And whoever—whatever—had tried to wizards-of-Oz him, to tell him it was all a dream and trap him back in this hell...

They'd made a terrible mistake.

Because Harry Potter had gone to war. He'd learned things that would make Voldemort himself pause. And he remembered every single one of them.

He walked to the door, stepped out into the suburban morning, and smiled.

"They'll learn," he said to the empty street, "not to fuck with the Arch Mage."

Somewhere in the distance, an owl hooted. A Hogwarts letter, perhaps, waiting to arrive on his eleventh birthday.

Harry Potter was very much looking forward to seeing what Dumbledore's face looked like when he showed up at the castle.