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Tsukishima glanced at his phone and sighed with the energy of someone who works 3 jobs and still barely gets paid shit.
From: orange volleyball idiot
saltyshima!!!!! help!!!!!!! he laughed at a srupid thing i did and i think i almost got a heart attack
From: volleyball idiot 2 (milk boy)
he did something stupid and it was hilarious. when i laughed he stared at me did i fuck up
Tsukishima let out an even louder sigh. It had been a long three years of putting up with their bullshit and Tsukishima was about to blow up several buildings.
How do two people with a relationship on an ASTRONOMICAL level look at each other and think ‘he doesn’t like me back’.
Couldn’t be him. Not at all.
Instead of leaving them hanging (like he was dying to do), he did them the courtesy of sending a helpful ‘confess’ and called it a day.
Solving other peoples problems was never something he wanted to do intentionally, he was just absolutely fed up with the mutual pinning wherever he went. He had been doing the same since middle school, making him annoyingly popular. Helping out the same way at Karasuno wasn’t too different.
Tsukishima put down his phone and instead looked up at his tv screen and his own ‘problem’.
“Tsukki? Who was it?”
Yamaguchi Tadashi. His best friend (God he's been suffering for so long, can it even be considered a best friend anymore?)
“Just a few idiots”
Yamaguchi seemed to understand what he meant and went back to watching Jurassic park (they’ve watched it 5 times already) while Tsukishima got synchronised notifications of the said idiots saying ‘NO’.
Fucking idiots with mutual pinning.
He was about to put his phone on silent before he received two more messages from them both.
From: orange volleyball idiot
hey!!!!! i came to you for help!!!!!! so help me confess at least!!!!! before anyone else shows up tmr!!!!!!
From: volleyball idiot 2 (milk boy)
can you at least help me
Tsukishima sighed with relief
“Fucking finally”
—
There were no words to explain the torture it was to watch them dance around each other this early in the goddamn morning.
He walked into practice early (they always came before everyone else. Insane) fully expecting it. It did nothing to console his suffering.
The duo was practicing their ‘freak quick’ with their “as long as i’m here, you’re invincible” shit going on. The way Hinata’s eyes shone every time Kageyama sent another flawless set his way was unmatched by any other homosexual in this fucking club. Kageyama’s usually straight face was not very straight when he stared at Hinata’s spiking form and jump a little longer than he needed.
“Kageyama! Set me another one please! Please! Pleeeeeeeeease!!!!!! Just before we do anything else”
“Fine, just calm down dumbass…”
This was Tsukishima’s sign to leave them and wait for everyone else before they started making out. They’d have already figured it out by the time Hinata spiked again and they wouldn’t need his help. It would be fine to leave them.
Unfortunately for him, fate, Budha or God, whoever it was out there, hated him.
Only after he started leaving the school, he heard a yell, steadily increasing in volume, meaning they were getting closer.
“Tsukishimaaaa!!!!!!!!!”
That was not Hinata Shoyou screaming at him. He was not putting up with this bullshit.
“Godammit, you don’t even need my help. What am I even supposed to do about your bigger-than-fucking-jupiter crush on Kageyama Tobio that literally everyone on this green Earth knows about?”
Tsukishima turned around fully to see Hinata, being the true pain he is, run at full speed and into Tsukishima where he stopped walking. He looked absolutely mortified that he had said it out loud.
“Tsukishima! Don’t say it so loud! He could hear!”
“Yeah, I did hear.”
Hinata slowly turned around to see the man himself, Kageyama Tobio, who clearly chased after Hinata considering his uneven breathing.
“Kageyama…! It’s not…!!!!! Uhm!!!! I’m sorry??? Don’t murder me!!!”
“You absolute dumbass. Why didn’t you say it earlier?”
“Huh…?”
“I wanted to say that too…”
“Oh…”
“…”
“…”
There is nothing but understanding in their eyes. It made sense. What they felt was mutual and nothing else mattered in that moment. All they needed was each other. They both looked at each other with love, trust and everything included with the ‘down bad’ package.
It was everything. It was them. It was their own world where they couldn’t be touched by anything. It was invincible. They were invincible.
They looked at each other like they were the others’ world.
The moment was broken by slow, sarcastic clapping.
“That’s nice. Wonderful. Yeah, could you please make out somewhere far away from me? I, for one, am not mentally ready to watch this go down at-“
Tsukishima glanced down at his phone.
“-7 am in the fucking morning. I am leaving until the actual practice time so you two keep doing your freak quick or whatever.”
Both Kageyama and Hinata had the sense to at least look embarrassed as Tsukishima turned on his heel and walked off.
Fucking gays.
—
At the proper and official time for practice, the Freak Duo were not any better than this morning.
If anything it was even worse (how was that even possible???).
Don’t get him wrong, he was happy for them, in his own way that would never be said aloud, but nonetheless, happy. Three years was far too long for that kind of dynamic (that was NOT straight when you said your “as long as i’m here, you’re invincible”). They deserved each other because no one else would be able to keep up with them but seriously, do you really need a gay intermission every time you set to him, Kageyama?
Yamaguchi appeared at Tsukishima’s side and whispered.
“Did something happen between them?”
“They solved their tension. It was about time anyways.”
“Oh…”
Yamaguchi looked at Kageyama and Hinata with an emotion Tsukishima couldn’t name. Longing? He supposed it didn’t matter if it didn’t involve him.
“Say Tsukki… Would you be willing to help me too?”
Boom.
Everything was starting to collapse in itself because what do you mean Yamaguchi Tadashi (whom his feelings belong to) likes Someone Else.
It’s not all that surprising Tsukishima supposed. Yamaguchi is nice, he’s extremely empathic, he worries a lot about other people and now that’s his queue to shut up about everything about Yamaguchi before he forgets to respond (he stands there like an idiot for about a minute).
Yamaguchi took it as a sign to keep giving details.
“Well, I’ve had my eye on them for a while… since three or more years I guess..?”
We’re in our third year now. This could be absolutely anybody.
“Oh. Okay.”
Both teenagers stood there for a good 10 minutes in awkward silence before Tsukishima took the gap in conversation as his cue to leave before he cursed everything out there for making Yamaguchi Tadashi in love with someone else.
—
Home was an escape. Tsukishima promptly laid on the floor before reminding himself that it probably wasn’t the best idea and screamed (monotonously) into his matress.
He knew it wasn’t completely hopeless. There was still a (one in ten million) chance that it was him. He realised that he had absolutely no information about the said crush so he wouldn’t have a clue if it was him or not. Getting information would be helpful… for helping Yamaguchi. Not anything else (it was definitely for something else).
To: Yamaguchi
hey
i need to ask something
about your crush
From: Yamaguchi
tsukki!
i mean yeah you can ask but depending on the question i may not answer
To: Yamaguchi
can i have a name at least
From: Yamaguchi
well
not rlly bc i dont think i can rn
To: Yamaguchi
??
ok
what are they like
From: Yamaguchi
well
theyre kind of mean sometimes
but to me i can tell that they care a lot about everyone
To: Yamaguchi
oh
ok
Tsukishima has the growing urge to type out ‘is it me or am i tweaking’ but that would be too direct and obvious
To: Yamaguchi
i think youll be fine
From: Yamaguchi
rlly??? idk their also rlly popular so.
To: Yamaguchi
its fine.
you probably could pull
‘you pulled me at least’ he almost adds
From: Yamaguchi
if you say ig
thanks tsukki!!!!
To: Yamaguchi
np
Tsukishima put down his phone.
Oh he was so Fucked.
(one in a million)
—
“Give me more details.”
Tsukishima dragged his chair across the room to Yamaguchi’s desk and sat down for lunch. He couldn’t think about food right now. There were more important matters.
“Tsukki-!? Don’t you usually study right now..?”
“Yes, but I need details about your crush-“
“YAMAGUCHI HAS A CRUSH??????”
“Turn it down, boke”
“-to help, wait, why are Hinata and His Majesty here?”
At the door of the unpopulated classroom, stood the idiots themselves. What the fuck was happening? Why were they here? Tsukishima turned to Yamaguchi who sheepishly looked to the side.
“Don’t you two usually practice during breaks?”
The freak duo looked at each other. Then looked back at Tsukishima as if he declared that grass was blue.
Hinata looked between the two, clearly trying to figure out what the hell was going on but just as he connected the dots, Kageyama spoke up.
“We came because Yamaguchi said that he wanted to talk about-“
“Nothing-! We are going to practice!! Right now!! That was our plan, wasn’t it, Kageyama? Now let’s go!”
Hinata basically hauled Kageyama outside and in his haste, tripped him over comically (ha) giving absolutely no context for their arrival.
“You were gonna talk to them?”
It wasn’t unusual for them to talk from time to time but there was usually an occasion.
“Um… no? Anyways..! You said you wanted details?”
Whatever. Tsukishima supposed what they wanted to discuss was between them.
“Yeah. Physical attributes? Anything?”
“Oh, they’re really tall-“
(one in a hundred thousand)
“-but they’re not exactly muscly either-“
(one in ten thousand)
“-and also smart.”
(one in a thousand)
Ok so maybe there was a larger chance than Tsukishima thought. He still shouldn’t get his hopes up until he was absolutely certain on who it was.
—
“Kei! Welcome home-“
“Akiteru, what do I do if the person I like likes someone else.”
His older brother first looks at him offended (‘wow Kei, not even a hello’), then confused, then finally connects the dots.
“Is this about Tadashi?”
“Maybe.”
“Kei, be realistic. Who else would he like?”
“I don’t have any concrete evidence. I don’t even have a name. I can’t be sure.”
Akiteru throws his hands up and walks away annoyed, muttering something (‘i swear there is no way to be denser than this’).
There was no point in getting his hopes up. Not even if it was a likely option. Because Tsukishima knows better than anyone that hope is made of the tender hands that break people apart.
—
Days go by and Tsukishima gets 2 more clues (‘because anything else would be too obvious tsukki’).
They’re actually a nerd (about other things aside from
They’re kinda provacative
(one in a hundred)
It doesn’t mean anything. Nor does it mean anything when Yamaguchi stands closer than he used to (that could be imagination. After all, the distance was never measured). Nor does it mean anything when Yamaguchi high-fives him harder than the others (They were closer than others. It was normal). It doesn’t mean anything because Tsukishima is not willing to let it mean anything.
He isn’t willing to let his heart be broken by the only person who would be able to mend it. Hope is an illusion. Hope is the light that we walk towards blindly, not realising it is also the noose that tightens when it’s not true.
Tsukishima knows this. He knows it all too well. Still, he can’t stop what he feels because that is far beyond his control. He is merely the passenger for the endeavours of his heart and that is why he will never control how he feels when Yamaguchi tells him on a regular Wednesday practice;
“Tsukki. I think I’ll confess on Friday.”
“Ok.”
He doesn’t scream. He doesn’t cry. He doesn’t show any disappointment. That would be far too obvious.
—
“Akiteru. He’s gonna confess”
“Oh, cool- wait he’s gonna WHAT?”
Tsukishima stares with empty eyes. He’s had a day to think about what will happen when Yamaguchi confesses to that other person.
“I’m gonna fade into the background. I won’t matter. He’ll be spending time with that other person instead. I won’t matter. Yamaguchi will move on from me because he won’t need me there anymore.”
It’s not surprising. Tsukishima can’t bring himself to feel sad. Yamaguchi had been talking about that person like they were his world. He deserved whatever happiness that random person would bring him (even though Tsukishima is sure he could do better). He’s accepted his fate. He’s laid down his sword. There’s nothing to do but wait. Everything since yesterday has felt like nothing.
Breakfast felt like nothing. School felt like nothing. Lunch felt like nothing. Practice felt like nothing.
“Kei, look at me.”
He doesn’t feel like it but he does anyways.
“Tadashi won’t leave you behind. He would never leave you. You two are inseparable. Don’t ever doubt that.”
Tsukishima nods.
“I’m serious. You wouldn’t leave him either right?”
“No.”
“He values you the same. Trust me. Trust him.”
“Okay.”
“Now do you want to watch Jurassic park on my computer until dinner?”
“Yeah.”
As the credits rolled for the first movie, Tsukishima felt just a little bit less empty than he did before.
—
The day was normal.
Or it would have been if there wasn’t an intense pressure on Tsukishima. It weighed heavily wherever he went and it only got worse when Yamaguchi approached.
“Tsukki? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. When today are you planning to confess?”
“Uhh, probably after school. So I can run away if things go wrong.”
“Yeah fair.”
The day was normal.
Or it would be if Kageyama and Hinata (it was mostly Hinata actually) didn’t keep saying things (‘come on we all know you both like each other.’ ‘guys can you confess already’).
“I swear it’s not what they say Tsukki..!”
“…It’s fine.”
“Are you sure? It might be annoying for-“
“Yamaguchi, urusai.”
Yamaguchi smiled at the familiarity
“Gomen, Tsukki!”
Practice went by. Kagehina was spot on with their freak quicks (as usual), Tsukishima was blocking fine and Yamaguchi’s float serves were great. Nothing should be wrong aside from the fact that Yamaguchi would be giving his heart to someone. But that in itself made Tsukishima want to run away from the whole thing and hide.
—
Walking home was suspiciously quiet. There was no conversation between the two middle blockers. The air hung with a weight that neither of them were willing to lift. Tsukishima looked ahead. There were only a few more blocks before they parted ways and before the love of his life would be whisked away.
A shift by his side redirected his attention.
“Tsukki, are you dense?”
“Huh? What do you mean-?”
“I have been dropping hints left and right, there is no way you’re not smart enough to figure it out.”
They both stood still. Figure out? Figure out what?
“I still don’t know what you’re on about-“
“Tsukki! I. Like. You. No one else. I’ve liked you for a while, but you know that already, I have been waiting for so, so, so long for you to finally piece things together. You’re smart and funny and I’ve been falling for so long I would die if we left school and you didn’t know how I felt.
Will you go out with me?”
The world stopped spinning and Tsukishima stood there like an absolute Idiot.
“Sorry if that made you uncomfortable… I just-“
“I have been waiting. For years. Fuck. Yes”
“Huh?”
“Huh?”
“SO YOU LIKED ME?”
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN, I ACCEPTED YOUR CONFESSION DIDN’T I?”
“OH MY GOD… does that make us official…?”
Tsukishima had never thought about something less in his life.
“Yes, if you want us to.”
“Then we’re boyfriends?”
“I’m ok if you are.”
The way Yamaguchi held him closer meant something. The way their lips slotted together naturally meant something. The way they said “I love you” meant something.
Because they both knew they wouldn’t let it mean nothing.
—
“I win.”
Tsukishima strides into Akiteru’s room. No explanation. Just his declaration of victory.
Akiteru stands up so fast he knocks over his chair.
“DOES THAT MEAN…?”
Tsukishima nods and shows him his phone.
From: Yams<3
get home safe!!! ily<333
Akiteru screams until they get a noise complaint.