Work Text:
Junkrat and Cambions Rivalry
Once upon a time, there was a guy named Junkrat. He was (and is) kinda crazy. By that I mean that he was infected by radiation, so he is always shaking and laughing uncontrollably. He has a prosthetic leg and arm, a bomb launcher (frag launcher) for fighting in the outback, and a tire on his back called the “Riptire,” which he can control remotely and, of course, blow up. He has a glove on his left hand, straps of more bombs on his chest, and his hair is all blown up and it’s even burning a bit on the ends. God knows how long it has been burning. Junkrat is actually insane.
His hometown — Junkertown — is infected with radiation poisoning, and Junkrat has lived there all his life. Junkertown is situated far out into the outback, so all there is is just red sand and dust. There is not much to do in Junkertown, so he is usually tinkering on either an explosive device or his arm/leg.
On the other side of Australia, there is an area called Whispering Pines. Whispering Pines is an interesting place; it feels like you’re going insane from all the voices whispering in the pines — hence the name “Whispering Pines.” There lives a half-demon called Cambion. Cambion is pretty chill for being a half-demon. He is usually burning stuff (safely) with his magic powers, or he’s drinking a beer at a bar. Cambion doesn’t hate anyone. Except for Junkrat. When Cambion was a kid, Junkrat “accidentally” blew up his favourite tea mug. And now, every time Cambion is going to drink tea, he thinks about that damn mug. He wants to get revenge on Junkrat.
One morning, when Cambion wakes up, he puts on his usual black long-sleeved shirt, gray/blackish pants, and a brown shoulder bag with all the essentials in it. It includes: a knife, some potions, a lunchbox, a secret item, and one pencil. But this morning, he really can’t stand the thought of drinking tea without his mug. He is going to get revenge on Junkrat right now.
Cambion walks out his door, closes it softly, and says goodbye to his home for a while. He begins walking to Junkrat but then realises that it is going to take weeks or maybe even months. He opens his bag and pulls out his secret item. It is a foldable hang glider. But there is one slight problem. Australia is flat (at least on a map), so he can’t jump from anywhere to get height and speed. But then he remembers! He can enchant it using his magic powers. He makes it so he can build infinite speed and height with the hang glider.
He begins flying to Junkrat. It goes a lot faster, and he’s landing at Junkertown in just a few minutes. He had forgotten how good it felt to be flying. It feels amazing. He begins looking around for Junkrat. He asks a few of the locals where Junkrat is, and they tell him that they don’t know. Cambion begins looking around at the houses for clues of where he might live. All the houses look normal except for one that really sticks out. It is shaped like a huge bomb, and it has smoke rising from it. There is also a big fat hole in the lawn.
That must be Junkrat’s house, Cambion thinks.
He walks over there, but when he gets to the door, he sees something. It’s a half-burned Post-it with the words: “Went out for lunch, be back soon,” in his scribbly handwriting.
“Damn it!” Cambion says to himself. “I’ll have to come back another day to talk some sense into this rat.”
He heads home.
When he comes home, it is dark out. He lies in his bed, wondering why Junkrat went out for lunch just that day. Couldn’t he have gone out any other day? He falls asleep.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
“Holy bombs!” Junkrat says in his Australian accent. “This food is absolutely frickin’ faaannntasstic!! Imma need to give this chef a tip!”
Junkrat eats his food and leaves not a single drop of sauce or a single crumb left on his plate. He even licks it clean. It’s that good.
Junkrat begins to walk home, limping on his prosthetic. When he gets home, a bunch of people run up to him saying:
A DEMON WAS HERE LOOKING FOR YOU!
HE LOOKED REALLY SCARY!
HE ASKED US WHERE YOU WERE AND WE SAID WE DIDN’T KNOW!!
“I might know who he is,” Junkrat says. “Did he have a black sleeved shirt, grayish pants, and a black shoulder bag?”
“YES, THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT HE WAS WEARING!!”
“It’s Cambion,” Junkrat says, with his eye twitching. “I knew him when I was a kid. I know what he wants.”
Junkrat goes inside his home, slamming the door in their faces. He begins packing a bag with all the essentials. It includes: a knife, a screwdriver, a lunchbox, and one pencil. He walks out his door and starts driving on his Riptire like a unicycle.
He’s driving like a madman, going in between trees, some old omnic robots, and rocks. But when Junkrat is about halfway there, some dark elves step in his way. They scream out:
“Halt! You can’t be here, you filthy bomber!”
Junkrat has no idea who these dark elves are. He’s never seen them in his entire life. He pulls out his frag launcher but doesn’t intend to shoot. The dark elves get really scared and start running away.
“That’s right! Run away to yer’ goddamn motha’!” Junkrat shouts after them.
He starts driving again, and within 30 minutes, he is at Whispering Pines. He searches the place looking for Cambion and finds him picking blueberries around 250 meters from his house.
“Mate, why were you in Junkertown searching for me?” Junkrat shouts to Cambion.
“Oh shit, you scared me! I was looking for you, old friend,” Cambion says calmly.
“But why?” Junkrat says in confusion.
“Don’t you remember? Long ago, when we were kids, we were playing, and then you ‘accidentally’ blew up my favourite tea mug,” Cambion says, now with an ounce of anger in his voice.
“Really? That’s what this is about? You’re such a child, mate! Grow up!” Junkrat is really irritated now. You can hear his anger through his Australian accent.
“YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT DAMN MUG MEANT TO ME!” Cambion screams in Junkrat’s face.
Junkrat does not want to deal with that level of disrespect. He pulls out his frag launcher and some extra bombs. Cambion’s fight-or-flight instinct kicks in. He lunges at Junkrat, trying to tackle him. But Junkrat is faster. He dodges to the side, making Cambion fall face-first onto the ground. Junkrat laughs.
“I’ve gotcha’ now, ya’ demon!”
Cambion gets up and starts running toward a small hill with what looks like a cave entrance. Junkrat shoots bombs at Cambion, but he misses every shot. Cambion runs into the cave. Junkrat drives after him on his Riptire and goes into the cave.
In the cave, there is a strange light. It’s shining blue and red at the same time. It’s not purple, though. It’s weird. He goes further into the cave and sees Cambion standing in front of a pedestal that’s emitting this strange light. Lightning is thundering around it. On the pedestal lies what looks like an ancient artifact.
Wait… is that… Junkrat thinks in horror.
Junkrat has read about this artifact when he was a kid. That artifact is an object capable of changing time and space.
“I know what you’re trying to do, Cambion,” Junkrat says, trying to stop him.
“You can’t get away now, Junkie,” Cambion says, almost maniacally laughing.
Junkrat knows what Cambion is going to do. He’s going to use the artifact while pointing it at Junkrat, making it so that Junkrat is permanently stuck in this warped space it’s going to create. But Junkrat knows one thing: you can only use the artifact once in a lifetime, and it has a 50% chance to break. Maybe — just maybe — it will backfire onto Cambion, locking him in here.
“No, Cambion. It’s not worth it. Do you really want to do this? You know it can backfire onto you too, right?”
“I know,” Cambion says calmly.
Cambion lifts the ball-shaped artifact into his hand and points it at Junkrat. He presses the button. They look at each other. Both their hearts are raging, but they look at one another with a sense of calm. It ends here. Or?
The ball turns red and starts glowing like the sun, making both of them close their eyes for a moment. It practically explodes into a thousand pieces, making a really loud bang.
Junkrat opens his eyes. He’s normal. Nothing’s changed. He looks at his hands and arms in disbelief. Then he remembers. The artifact — it must have backfired onto Cambion. He looks up. Cambion is standing there in front of him. He’s creepily distorted. He is stuck in warped space with no way to get out. He is even slowed down, so even if there was a solution, he wouldn’t have the time to do anything about it. He’s stuck in this cave forever. There is nothing he can do about it.
Junkrat looks him in the eyes.
“Farewell,” Junkrat says.
You can see horror in Cambion’s eyes for a second, even though he’s slowed down.
Junkrat begins walking out of there. When he gets out of the cave, he looks back inside and almost feels remorse. He grabs a few rocks and puts them in front of the entrance. It’s blocked now. He begins driving home. When he gets home, he goes to bed and cries himself to sleep. He almost died.
