Chapter Text
It wasn't dark. Not even a bright white, which honestly felt kind of offputting: youre sure you hadnt done anything that bad during your life.
It wasn't even like what you heard about what the afterlife at all before. Instead, you felt like you were seeing... everything.
It wasn't white, but it was clean. It wasn’t like a pitch black void. It was just empty, but despite its lack of, well, everything, it still made you feel overwhelmed. Wherever the hell you were felt so incredibly pure, like everything around you was made out of cotton candy and a child’s laughter.
You quickly realise with immense distress that you don't even physically exist. You are literally nothing, but with the ability to see. Or not see anything. You're getting a migraine thinking about how that’s possible, so you just settle on closing your eyes (or whatever you were seeing with…) and trying to rest.
Ping!
Your eyes (?) snapped open at the sudden sound, and you found yourself staring at a screen. With text. Letters began typing themselves out on it.
[Subject #2711]
[Universe Transmigration Location: Musutafu, Japan; Year 20XX]
[Task: A Successful Love-Life. (Note: Previous life has proven to be unsuccessful at said duty. Subject #2711 has spent approximately 67% of free time consuming content. The other 33% spent purchasing Subject #2711’s content merchandise.)]
I wasn’t that bad…, you told yourself untruthfully, And hold on, Musutafu? Where have I heard of that before…? The text continued to be typed out, and you decided to keep reading despite the nagging feeling in the back of your mind that said that you felt like you knew where this was going.
[Please choose your statistics for next life, Subject #2711.]
[You currently are in possession of 350 points. Use wisely.]
[Beauty: 0/100]
[Charisma: 0/100]
[Strength: 0/100]
[Stamina: 0/100]
[Intelligence: 0/100]
[Power: 0/100]
Woah. This was so cool. It was like one of those isekai dating simulators you used to play! You wondered who your love interests would be. You hoped they were handsome. Maybe you could get isekai’d to Ouran Highschool Host Club? Or maybe you would get isekai’d to a Fantasy AU dating sim, and you were the princess of a wealthy and powerful kingdom, and multiple kingdoms across the land had princes that offered their hand in marriage to you! The possibilities were endless…
But then again… the possibilities really were endless.
What if you got isekai’d to somewhere like Alien Stage? You would have to have a good voice for that, and judging by the karaoke machines that judged your singing back in your old life, you had zero chance of making it through your first round. Hell, your love interests wouldn’t even be alive long enough for you to even strike up a conversation with them.
Another possibility was Jujutsu Kaisen.
Brr. You shivered. You loved your boys Yuji, Megumi, Satoru, and your ultimate husbando Nanami, but you would probably get killed before you could even become a sorcerer. If reading the manga was anything to go off of, it meant that you should never trust Gege to let their characters be happy for too long. Season 1 of the anime taught you that.
Oh, well. It’s not like you have a say on where you’re going. You looked back to the screen.
“Hmm… beauty… well, if my objective is to have a good love life, I can’t bag any huzz being chopped.”
[Beauty: 100/100]
[250/350 points left.]
“Alright… charisma. Hm… I don’t wanna waste too many points on it. I don’t need too much rizz. I already have plenty,” you lied boasted to yourself.
[Charisma: 10/100]
[240/350 left.]
“Strength… mm, twenty… uhh, stamina? Twenty’s good… uhh…” At this point, you were just clicking buttons because you liked the pingy sound they made.
“Ooh. Intelligence. Hell yeah.”
[Intelligence: 100/100]
“Aaaand power. Hm. May as well use up all my points for that too. At least I could have a small chance of surviving JJK.”
[Power: 100/100]
[Stats chosen. Preparing universal transmigration. No refunds.]
… huh?
Suudenly, the screen shut off. You felt the space around you contort, a staticky sounds filling your eardrums uncomfortably.
”Ah! Shit, wait! Where am I going?!” You cried out. No answer. Your vision was slowly getting blurry. “Ugghhh, fuck you too, you weird bitchass sketchy system bastar—!”
Darkness enveloped your vision.