Chapter 1: Blood Loss and Awkwardness
Chapter Text
Now on Soundcloud!
Audiobook Part 1 (Chapters 1-11) M4B (Length 4:35:51)(126 MB)
Audiobook Part 2 (Chapters 12-22) M4B (Length 2:34:02)(70.4 MB)
Audiobook Part 3 (Chapters 23-32) M4B (Length 3:15:46)(89.5 MB)
Audiobook Part 4 (Chapters 33-40) M4B (Length 2:29:21)(68 MB)
Chapter 1
Download or stream MP3 (27.3MB) (Length: 29:52)
Reblog on Tumblr!
Chapter 2: Incremental Adjustments
Chapter 3: Turkeys > Spiders
Chapter 4: Barnes & Steve vs. Foolproof Thanksgiving
Chapter 5: Trust issues
Chapter 6: On trees and trousers
Chapter 7: Right and proper celebrations
Chapter 8: Relocation, again
Notes:
Ta da, two chapters today! Because unlike Certain People You Know Who You Are, I hate cliffhangers and would never do that to you. ;)
Also, things are about to get rough on this ride, kiddos. Warnings for disassociation and general Hydra related nastiness.
Chapter 9: Mission protocols violated
Notes:
SIGNIFICANTLY LESS FLUFFY! This chapter contains self-punishment (mostly emotional/mental), mentions of self-harm, and sleep deprivation.
Chapter 10: Brief interlude
Notes:
This chapter overlaps with chapter 2 of Team-Building Exercises (http://archiveofourown.org/works/3456710/chapters/7615091)
Chapter 11: Unwanted Stories
Notes:
Author's Note: VERY DIFFICULT STUFF HERE: MENTIONS OF TRAUMA AND TORTURE, BOTH EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL
Reader's Note: Assessment: 1000% more suffering. 10/10 on the tissues and tequila scale. Mission note: do not listen on the way to work if job requirements include smiling.
Chapter 12: Preliminary clean-up
Chapter 13: The world's least intelligent target
Chapter 14: Effective treatments for nightmares
Chapter 15: Spatial expansion
Chapter 16: Hair Club for Assassins
Chapter 17: Expanded communication options
Chapter 18: Détente
Chapter 19: Snow day with superheroes
Chapter 20: A crack in the armor
Notes:
20 chapters! I feel accomplished.
Chapter 21: The Anti--Valentine's No-Touch Club
Chapter 22: Other people's projects
Notes:
This chapter mentions (very briefly) events from the weirdo epilogue of "This, You Protect" (http://archiveofourown.org/works/1752638/chapters/6663965) and chapter 4 of "Team-Building Exercises" (http://archiveofourown.org/works/3456710/chapters/7680830).
Chapter 23: Stepping among landmines
Chapter 24: Revelations from ancient history
Chapter 25: An important promise
Notes:
Identified: Previous chapter security issue. Status: resolved. Excellent mission assists deserve new chapter.
Chapter 26: Return, reunion, and a gendered meal
Chapter 27: Positive demonstrations
Chapter 28: long think and a helpful action
Chapter 29: Returns, gifts, calculations
Chapter 30: Resolution of an equation
Notes:
Ya'll, 30 chapters! I'm almost caught up! What the hell am I supposed to do with my life now????????????
Identified: existential crisis imminent.
This chapter references chapter 5 of Team-Building Exercises (http://archiveofourown.org/works/3456710/chapters/7706450).
Chapter 31: While the target's away, the bodyguard ... mopes
Chapter 32: Separation with only a modicum of anxiety
Notes:
Happy Friday, I'm caught up!!!! In celebration, audiobook format is now available below. Huge thanks to all the wonderful listeners who took the time to comment and encourage this project. Since I can't bake you cookies, I've recorded the sweet little side story Spa Day. I hope you like. All Mission Assists deserve massages and pampering! Ya'll are the best!
Future chapters will be recorded as soon after posting as I can manage for as long as the story continues and rl allows.
Chapter 33: Three days to the next bad idea
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Notes:
Lo, I return! First Cold of the Year has been defeated, or at least successfully endured. Pardon any residual sniffles.
Chapter 34: Support operations
Chapter 35: Aftermath
Chapter Text
Download or stream MP3 (Length: 21:52)(20 MB)
Chapter 36: Intensive preparations
Chapter Text
Download or stream MP3 (Length: 8.04)(7.39 MB)
Chapter 37: Reinforcements and muscle memory
Notes:
This chapter takes place during the events of chapter 7 of Team-Building Exercises (http://archiveofourown.org/works/3456710/chapters/7822196)
Chapter Text
Download or stream MP3 (Length: 20.18)(18.5 MB)
Chapter 38: Push through toward home
Summary:
This chapter covers events that occur in chapter 7 of Team-Building Exercises (http://archiveofourown.org/works/3456710/chapters/7822196)
(still! it was a long chapter)
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Download or stream MP3 (Length: 23.23)(21.4 MB)
Spread the Infinite Coffee love, reblog on Tumblr!
Notes:
*glances down modestly* Why yes, a perfect Moroccan French accent is totally one of the many little skills acquired during my long and fascinating life. Ahem.
Chapter 39: Re-establishing baseline
Chapter 40: Late-night walks and reciprocity
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Chapter 40
Download MP3 (21 MB) Length: 22:56
Audiobook Part 1 (Chapters 1-11) M4B (Length 4:35:51)(126 MB)
Audiobook Part 2 (Chapters 12-22) M4B (Length 2:34:02)(70.4 MB)
Audiobook Part 3 (Chapters 23-32) M4B (Length 3:15:46)(89.5 MB)
Audiobook Part 4 (Chapters 33-40) M4B (Length 2:29:21)(68 MB)
Notes:
Assessing pollen level: High.
Sinus status: non-optimal.
EASTER
Good point mission. Calming activity required to build up reserves for impending holiday drama.
CHAPTER 40
Yeah, also numbers containing a zero are pretty exciting.
CONFIRM
Confirm.
Chapter 41: Heat-related levity
Notes:
My computer woes are resolved, and I am so happy to be getting back to this series! Even more so since I am 100% in agreement with Barnes' opinions on both ice cream flavors and the resemblance between drinking gin and being electrocuted. Blech.
Chapter Text
Chapter 41
Download MP3 (13 MB) Length: 20:07
Audiobook Part 1 (Chapters 1-11) M4B (Length 4:35:51)(126 MB)
Audiobook Part 2 (Chapters 12-22) M4B (Length 2:34:02)(70.4 MB)
Audiobook Part 3 (Chapters 23-32) M4B (Length 3:15:46)(89.5 MB)
Audiobook Part 4 (Chapters 33-40) M4B (Length 2:29:21)(68 MB)
Feel free to come explain to me why I am wrong about gin and ice cream on Tumblr!
Chapter 42: Experiments and apologies
Chapter Text
Chapter 42
Download MP3 (11 MB) Length: 16:20
Audiobook Part 1 (Chapters 1-11) M4B (Length 4:35:51)(126 MB)
Audiobook Part 2 (Chapters 12-22) M4B (Length 2:34:02)(70.4 MB)
Audiobook Part 3 (Chapters 23-32) M4B (Length 3:15:46)(89.5 MB)
Audiobook Part 4 (Chapters 33-40) M4B (Length 2:29:21)(68 MB)
Blah blah Tumblr!
Chapter 43: The delicate art of Rogers management
Chapter Text
Chapter 43
Download MP3 (7 MB) Length: 12:00
Audiobook Part 1 (Chapters 1-11) M4B (Length 4:35:51)(126 MB)
Audiobook Part 2 (Chapters 12-22) M4B (Length 2:34:02)(70.4 MB)
Audiobook Part 3 (Chapters 23-32) M4B (Length 3:15:46)(89.5 MB)
Audiobook Part 4 (Chapters 33-40) M4B (Length 2:29:21)(68 MB)
Blah blah Tumblr!
Chapter 44: Just when you catch your breath
Notes:
HEY I'M BACK
Chapter 45: One unexpectedly awakens
Chapter Text
Chapter 46: High flying, new baselines, and robotic assistance
Chapter Text
Chapter 47: The affinity for late-night emotional chats among space princes
Chapter 48: Everybody come gawk at the sick guy
Chapter 49: Olds therapy
Chapter 50: Home
Notes:
It is finished and I am very sad and happy about it.

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