Chapter Text
Kevin’s feet dangle at the cave entrance, he tosses another rock in, the loud clatter barely stirs D from staring off into the distance. Kevin jabs his elbow into D’s side to get his attention.
“Your family, you taught them that anything vampiric should be killed, you know better than that.”
“Why do you still feel the need to hide me?”
D sighs
“The whole ‘what if they’re good’ mentality nearly got Door and Boy killed.”
“I’m not saying you should be having a tea party with every entity that bares its teeth at you, but-“
“This is about Shitbeard isn't it?”
“His name was Richard."
“Hm?”
“Nobody likes their sabbat name, might as well use the right one.”
“It’s a bit late isn't it.”
“Ugh… yeah, it all just feels so- childish?”
“Wait, why was I the one put aside?”
“I was planning to have individual conversations with every one of you.”
“Could easily have been Richard having this conversation with me instead.”
“Hell no, I would not have died to Pyotr.”
“Either way Door is going to have to know about us pretty soon or else how the fuck am I going to help you in the umbra.”
Big.D sighs.
“I think the thought of a friendly vampire might break his brain.”
“Would me being half American be of any comfort?”
“Maybe… Did you eat any rats as a child?”
“No???”
“Hm, odd.”
“We could also just make a fake identity.”
“That’s not going to help hide my vampirism, also I’ve had enough pseudonyms for a lifetime and a half.”
“Noted, remind me in 150 years when I can give you a new nickname.”
“I-“
“I’m being sarcastic AHAHHAHAHAHA!”
His laugh echoes from the entrance of the cave.
“Is there any reason you wanted to hang out here?”
“I thought you hated the cave.”
“Oh I hope the inside collapses some day but the surrounding forest is still nice.”
“Even with all the fiddler-ghosts?”
“Shut up about that, I hate that story.”
“It’s cool history.”
“It’s brought too many people to the caves.”
D raised his eyebrow.
“Did you forget my comment about over feeding because of the DMT or…”
“You are still stuck on that?”
“It’s the reason we were caught, which in the end turned out good… for me, but I’m still mad at Pyotr's horrible grasp statistics.”
“PHAHAHHAA”
“I didn’t pay for 5 years in uni for nothing! I still use sin, cos, and tan on a daily basis out of spite.”
“Wha in the hell does sinning have to do with getting a tan, you can’t even tan you’re a vampire?! And what beastly third thing is this cos?”
“I- what kind of education did you get?”
“A very practical one!”
…
“You know what, I’ll take your word on that.”
Kevin sighs and lays back.
“…is it just me or does the moon look different tonight- no wait, that's a smudge on my glasses.”
“Nerd.”
“Ughhh shut up.”
“Perhaps.”
…
…
…
…
“Ok maybe don’t.”
“What do you want to talk about then?”
“Well the future and past are pretty bleak and the present is just sitting in the woods so I don’t know…”
Kevin punches D lightly in the side.
“How dare you.”
“I dunno I was bored.”
“So you resort to violence!?”
“You know I wasn’t trying to cause any damage from that.”
“I assumed the opposite, given your status as a tiny little nerd, that was your maximum strength!”
“Oh fuck you, I’ve been in plenty of brawls. I even nearly chopped a dude's arm off with a shovel. Also, I've been going to the gym more.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Punch my arm.”
“How hard?”
“Full force.”
“I am not doing that.”
“I’m quite durable.”
Big.D puffs out his chest.
“I don’t doubt that, but also I don’t think I could bring myself to useful force if I’m punching you.”
“How about that tree?”
D nods in the general direction of the woods.
“Sure.”
Kevin gets up and shakes himself off, squaring up to the tree.
“That tree has personality spited you!”
Kevin hides a chuckle as he rears back.
“It is responsible for everything wrong in your life!”
*crack!*
When Kevin steps back D sees what looks like a decent chunk taken from the tree.
“Not bad.”
“Thanks.”
He dusts his hands off on his khakis.
The hiss of an opening beer piques Kevin’s interest.
“You brought a 6 pack?”
“12, who do you think I am?”
“Someone without a death wish, good lord.”
“I said I’m durable, I shouldn't have to repeat myself.”
“Sure, but I’m not a viable liver donor so keep that in mind… but still gimmie a sip once it’s settled into you.”
——
“So I told Pyotor, him and his thin oily could fuck off- so he shaved my head.”
“And apparently I looked like a bug to him-“
“That explains the ant side of the nickname, but what of the piss prefix?”
“Well I made one too many pissing on my enemies corpses jokes and they thought I had a piss kink.”
“So they called you pissant?”
“Yep.”
D chuckled before taking a long drag off a cigar. He then offered up his wrist to Kevin. He glanced at the wrist and the cigar and dug his teeth into Big.D’s wrist.
“You're gonna give me some sort of addiction one of these days.”
Kevin is still holding onto D’s wrist. His grip moves to his palm, and he laces their finger together, expression at the midway between dazed and dreamy.
“Kevin?”
“Hm? oh shit-“
Kevin snaps his arm back to his side.
“You are really drunk right now aren’t you?”
“Yeahh. I get really soft and emotional when drunk, don't judge me.”
“It’s a social lubricant but I’m not sexy and oiled up, I’m slipping on the floor and getting laughed at.”
“I’m not laughing at you, but you also haven’t slipped on any floors yet.”
“I dunno, I think I just did.”
“Metaphorically.”
“Metaphors don't matter when you're drunk in the woods.”
Big.D grabbed Kevin by the shoulder and held him in a side hug.
“Yeah.”
Kevin nestles his face into the crook of D’s neck, whether it is a sloppy attempt at a kiss or a weird bite that is given up on immediately is still out for the currently drunken jury to decide.