"Always in motion is the future." -Yoda, Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
The passing traffic lit up the dark Coruscant skies outside the window, the little fountain in the corner of the room burbled peacefully, and Andy said, "I don't think I'm going to be a Padawan."
"That's a great attitude," Lily said.
"What's wrong with it?" Andy asked, looking over to see Lily's disapproving frown.
"You don't want to be a Jedi?"
"I don't know," Andy said, fussing with the sleeve of her tunic. She sat up and looked at her best friend, who sat cross-legged at the end of the bed. "It'd be okay, I guess. But it's not the only star in the sky, is it?"
"This is the first I've heard of it." Lily sounded almost indignant. "Everybody wants to be a Jedi. You always said you did, anyway."
"Come on, Lily," Andy said, turning towards the window. "It's the Exhibit tomorrow, and no Master has so much as looked at me."
"You're only twelve," Lily pointed out. "You still have another year."
"That's easy for you to say," Andy said, more gloomily than she wanted. After all, she was supposed to be resigning herself to the will of the Force. "Master Poof's practically had you earmarked since you were eight."
Lily tried, unsuccessfully, to hide her smile of pleasure. Andy couldn't blame her. It was no small thing to be chosen by a sitting member of the Jedi Council. And Yarael Poof's Council rotation was coming to an end in a fivemonth, which meant he and Lily would be free to go on all kinds of adventures. Meanwhile, Andy was going to grow mold in the Jedi Temple for one more year before being sent off to Agri-Corps, or to work in the Temple Library, or to train as a healer on Chandrila.
It might have been okay, if she could just escape the feeling that she was meant to be a Jedi. Not a farmer, librarian, or anything else: a Jedi Knight. Of course, all the younglings thought that, especially when they were little. These days, Andy frequently wondered if she was just imagining things, desperately hoping for a more glamorous life than growing tubers at Force-enhanced speeds. That certainly wasn't the proper mindset for a Jedi.
"I bet you'll do fine at the Exhibit," Lily cajoled. "You just get nervous, that's all. You need to focus better. Hey, want to try those meditation exercises Docent Vant taught us last week? They're really good."
Knowing that she should, Andy nevertheless said, "Later." She hated meditation. She loved action, movement, adventure. And she wished she were better at it. "Let's talk about something else." Lily looked disapproving, but she didn't argue. "Who's shown up for the Exhibit? Tons of ships have been docking all day."
"Who hasn't?" Lily asked. She held up her fingers and began to count off: "Master Brand arrived this morning with his Padawan. I forget his name, but the Padawan's ready to take the Trials." Lily gave Andy a quick glance. "So maybe--you know--"
Andy licked her dry lips and felt her stomach flop over. "Yeah. M-maybe." It wouldn't do to get her hopes up, or focus on one particular Knight or Master. Besides, few Jedi got rid of one Padawan only to take up another on the very same day. There was usually something almost like a mourning period in between. No such period was required, of course, but given the close bonds that existed between Master and Padawan, it was no surprise that everybody involved would need time to adjust and move on.
"Senator Valorum is coming the day after tomorrow," Lily continued. "There's talk he'll be the next Chancellor, you know. Then there's Master Vos and Aayla." Andy smiled. Aayla Secura had been taken as Quinlan Vos's Padawan only last year, and she and Lily both liked her. "Oh," Lily added in excitement, leaning forward, "and you're not going to believe this--but Master Miranda is here!"
Andy's eyes widened. The news was certainly a shocker. Everybody knew that Master Miranda rarely returned to the Coruscant Temple these days.
She'd been a constant fixture once. Years ago, Master Miranda had been a viable candidate for an available seat on the Council. She was brilliant, accomplished, a credit to the Order--and nobody knew why Yoda had vetoed her.
The less charitable said that it was because Miranda was brilliant, accomplished, a credit to the Order, and eaten up with ambition. Jedi did not know ambition. They did not desire renown or fame.
Put like that, Andy could almost sympathize with Miranda. They were even from the same planet. Plenty in common, it seemed. There was just one little problem.
"Um," Lily said, as if she'd read Andy's mind, "at least you know she won't be looking for a Padawan."
"Yeah," Andy said. That problem. Master Miranda's Padawans tended to drop like flies. She'd had three, only one of whom had passed the Trials and who hadn't even been a proper Padawan, not really. The Padawan's true Master had joined the Force, and a young Miranda, just a few years older than her new pupil, had stepped in to complete the last few months of the Padawan's training. Then the newly-minted Knight had died on her first solo mission. Miranda's second Padawan, one she'd trained from the beginning, had been killed during a diplomatic mission gone bad. He'd only been sixteen. They said that was why Miranda approached diplomacy with an iron fist these days. And the third--
Nobody liked to talk very much about the third.
But after the third, Miranda had appeared less and less on Coruscant, formerly her favorite haunt and the site of all her hopes. Some said that she was ashamed of her failures. Others said that the capital dredged up memories too painful to endure. In the end, nobody knew except Miranda herself, and she wasn't talking--just traveling the galaxy on mission after mission, piling up success after success, making her name feared and venerated all the worlds over.
Andy wondered if it was enough for her.
"Come on," Lily said. "I'm starving." She rose to her feet and gave a long, feline stretch. Andy eyed her enviously as she scrambled to her own feet. Lily was so graceful, so footsure, and Andy was such a klutz, no matter how hard she tried. The Force was strong with her, she knew--at least, the creche masters usually told her so with encouraging smiles--but it'd sure be nice if she could learn how to channel it better.
Andy and Lily headed for the canteen, while Andy tried hard not to lose herself in either anxiety or daydreams. It was hard. She'd always been a dreamer. Master Yoda himself, during one of his visits to the creche, had warned her to pay more attention to the present moment, because, "The day will come, young one, when save your life, the Living Force will." His ears had drawn down, and he had looked even graver than usual. "Many faces of the Force there are, yes?"
"Yes, Master," Andy had said, anxious to please. "The Living Force and the Unifying Force."
"The second you know. The first you must learn." Yoda had rapped her elbow lightly with his gimer stick. "And then the other, you must avoid."
The Dark Side, of course. Andy had nodded, and had tried very hard to know the Living Force better--the Force that swirled around them all every moment, in every living thing. It was easier for her to feel the Force as a great unifying power that bound everything in the universe together, star to star, than it was to inhabit every present moment of her life.
Then she slammed right into Lily, who'd stopped dead in her tracks. Case in point. "Oof," Andy said, glaring at Lily for stopping so inconsiderately right in the middle of a corridor.
"Ssh!" Lily hissed, putting a quick hand on Andy's arm. Andy looked up, startled, and realized she must have been totally lost in her thoughts after all. Up ahead, at the corner of the quiet corridor, Master Miranda herself was facing off with none other than Qui-Gon Jinn.
"Come on," Lily whispered. Andy knew this was a bad idea (Lily had a lot of bad ideas), but she clasped Lily's outstretched hand and they sidled forward, as quietly as they could, towards the two Masters who regarded each other with polite, ill-concealed hostility.
Everyone knew Miranda and Qui-Gon Jinn had never liked one another. Jinn was one of the greatest living Jedi, but he flouted the rules as it suited him, and while he respected tradition, he had precious little reverence for what he perceived as the more archaic strictures of the Jedi Order. He lived in the moment, for the moment, despised power and distrusted ambition, and could not be controlled. Many was the time Andy had heard people saying that it was a good thing Jinn was on the side of Light, or he would have been a formidable foe of the Jedi. And Miranda...well, everyone knew that if she'd been appointed to a Council seat, she wouldn't so much have locked horns with Jinn as met him in mortal combat.
Hovering breathlessly with Lily behind a statue, Andy wondered if that wouldn't happen anyway. Miranda and Jinn appeared to be on the verge of exchanging extremely frosty greetings.
"So you've arrived," Jinn said, his hands folded in his tunic, the very picture of unruffled serenity but for the edge in his deep voice. "I heard about your success on Yavin 4. Congratulations."
"That? It was nothing," Miranda said. Something about her voice sent a little tingle up and down Andy's spine. Andy blinked; well, that was new. Maybe it was just the way Miranda spoke--precise, clipped, cool. "You just have to know how to take those people in hand. Firmly."
"I see," Jinn asked, raising an eyebrow. Andy felt Lily quiver next to her, and rolled her eyes. Lily had had a massive crush on Qui-Gon Jinn since practically forever. But he was never taking a Padawan either. Everybody knew that. "You haven't changed a bit."
"Probably not," Miranda agreed. Andy wished she could see her face, but she and Lily were just barely managing to peek around the statue, and Miranda had her back to them. Andy could only see a mop of bright white hair above the brown sweep of Miranda's cloak.
Jinn's eyes were hard. "How many people did you kill? Did you keep a tally this time?"
"You haven't changed either, I see," Miranda said, sounding icier than ever. "You've never been able to do what needs to be done, Qui-Gon. Especially when it counts."
Jinn shook his head. "My way is not yours, for which I remain grateful."
"Do you?" Miranda asked, her voice taunting now. "What is this, your yearly search for a replacement? The Council's not going to let you get out of that little ritual, is it? I suppose the Exhibit is as good a time as any to pretend to look."
"I might say the same of you," Jinn replied, narrowing his eyes. "I'm just beginning to regret saying hello."
"Then we're in agreement," Miranda said. Her head tilted back. "I had to debrief the Council. The information was too sensitive not to deliver in person. That's my only reason for being here."
"Well, thank the Force for that," Jinn said. His lips curled up in a small, bitter smile. "After all, we do have something in common. Don't we?"
"Don't," Miranda said at once. "Don't you dare." She moved to go past Jinn, towards the corner of the corridor. Andy held her breath, and felt Lily doing the same.
"Miranda," Jinn said, frowning and looking a little surprised. "That wasn't an insult. Believe me. I was--"
Miranda rounded on him. For the first time, Andy got a good look at her face: sharp nose and cheekbones, thin lips, a face that could have been carved from stone but for the flashing eyes. "Trying to sympathize with me?" she asked. "After all this time, this just felt like the right moment to you?"
"Miranda--" Jinn briefly closed his eyes. "We've never gotten along. But the Exhibit brings up bad memories, and there is no other soul in this Temple who can understand what it's like to lose a Padawan to--"
"At least I had the decency to kill mine," Miranda said.
Jinn froze. But he never got the chance to respond, because both Andy and Lily gasped aloud.
Jinn and Miranda immediately turned towards them, eyes widening as they realized their audience, and Miranda's gaze slammed right into Andy's.
But before Andy stammer out an apology, the strangest thing happened: she heard a voice, soft but clear, sounding so terribly sad, speaking inside her head--
killed a Padawan killed a Padawan
--and Andy didn't apologize. She didn't say anything at all. She grabbed Lily and ran down the corridor, feeling as if she had a tsunami roaring forward beneath her feet, channeling the Force like never before, feeling it pulse and roar through her. And for once Lily was the one who had to go along for the ride, trying desperately to keep up. They didn't slow down until they were two hallways away, in a more crowded corridor, garnering their fair share of curious glances.
"Oh, Force," Lily wheezed. "I didn't know you could do that."
"Neither did I," Andy said, leaning against the wall. "Maybe they're wrong and fear is actually good for you." Lily laughed breathlessly. "Oh my gosh, can you believe what we just saw?"
Lily's mirth faded, and she looked spooked. "I can't believe she said that. I really can't."
"Yeah." Andy licked her lips. "But, I mean...I guess she must think about it all the time."
"Of course she must. How can't she? Wow." Lily gave an exaggerated shudder. "I hope we don't run into her again."
"Me too," Andy said fervently. "She doesn't ever stay here for long, does she?"
"Not as far as I know." Lily rubbed her stomach. "Um, maybe we can go to the first-floor canteen instead, though."
"Just in case," Andy agreed.
They continued down the corridor. Andy only half-listened to Lily's chatter. She couldn't forget what they'd just overheard.
Because that was something else everybody knew: Miranda and Qui-Gon Jinn had one thing in common. One terrible thing. They'd both had a Padawan who'd turned to the Dark Side. Qui-Gon's Padawan, Xanatos, had escaped his Master and disappeared; Qui-Gon had been unable to kill the young man he'd known and trained from boyhood.
Master Miranda had had no such compunction. The thought gave Andy a chill. But not as much as the memory of that voice in her head. A low voice, heavy with grief, that had sounded remarkably like Master Miranda herself. That had never happened to Andy before.
Andy had no idea what it meant, but she was pretty sure she didn't like it.
She had a hard time falling asleep that night. Maybe it was her worry about the Exhibit the following day. Maybe it was Lily snoring in the bunk beneath her. Or maybe it was the tension that had been coiling around her heart for hours. Try as she might, she couldn't put that dreadful encounter between Miranda and Qui-Gon Jinn out of her mind.
Andy closed her eyes and did her best to meditate. If she couldn't sleep, then at least she needed to find some order. In order there was rest. Lily was right: they'd learned some good exercises yesterday, and those, combined with her exhaustion, eventually led her to sleep.
She dreamed of Master Miranda, and the contempt on her hard, proud face as she spoke to Qui-Gon. Then Miranda turned away from Qui-Gon to look right in Andy's eyes, just as she had that afternoon. But this time, Andy couldn't turn tail and run. She was frozen, looking back at Master Miranda, only, funny thing--Miranda didn't look angry that Andy was there. She looked shocked. Maybe even a little scared. But what could scare a Jedi like her, who'd faced down every hostility that came her way?
"Come on, Andy!" Lily called from somewhere over Andy's shoulder. Andy turned around, and realized that she and Miranda were surrounded by mists as thick and white as Dagobah's. Andy couldn't see Lily at all, but she still shouted, "Okay, I'm coming!"
"Wait," Miranda said, to Andy's surprise. She reached out a hand, as if about to lay it on Andy's shoulder. "Wait--"
Killed a Padawan.
Andy turned and bolted, fleeing into the mists after Lily's voice.
"Padawan braids are stupid," Obi-Wan Kenobi said.
"Yeah," Andy agreed. They were sitting together in a stadium section reserved for Padawans as the Exhibit began. In spite of her own nerves--she'd be part of the Padawan tournament that started after lunch, and she just knew she'd wipe out in the first round like she always did--Andy was excited about the Exhibit. It was always thrilling to watch the Masters take the floor and perform great feats with the Force. Even the most versatile Jedi had their own strengths. Some could levitate themselves and a dozen other objects at once; others could perform kata as easily and gracefully as leaping felines; and others--the ones Andy liked to watch most--were champion duelists.
"I still want a braid, though," Obi-Wan added. He was looking wistfully at a human boy Andy didn't recognize, sitting across the arena. Probably one of the visitors. He looked to be in his mid-teens, and he had the standard Padawan cut for humanoid males: hair buzzed short, except for the single braid that hung down to his shoulder, marking him as a Jedi apprentice. Andy was glad that girl Padawans didn't have to get the buzz-cut.
She remembered, unwillingly, her dream last night. She'd been trying hard not to think about it ever since she'd awakened that morning. But it proved, if anything could, that maybe there were worse things than not being a Padawan, and the benefits went beyond not getting a dumb haircut. For one thing, you might not die at the hands of your own Master, or hear weird voices in your head.
But that wasn't what Obi-Wan wanted to hear. "You'll get a braid," Andy said, trying to be present with the Living Force and stay in the moment, instead of letting her mind wander. "You'll be a Padawan. You're only eleven. You still have two years."
"Yes." Obi-Wan tried to look optimistic. "Master Yoda says that what's meant to happen, always happens." He craned his neck, looking around the stadium. "I heard there aren't a lot of Masters here who are looking for apprentices. Except..." He blushed. "Qui-Gon Jinn's here. I heard. He's looking."
Andy remembered, with a pang, what Master Miranda had said last night. "He comes to look every year," she told Obi-Wan. "The Council makes him." She wondered why they never made Miranda. Probably because her record was even more dismal. "And he never picks anyone."
"I suppose not." Obi-Wan looked down at his boots and tapped his toes impatiently. "But you never know, do you?"
"Are you competing in the tournament?"
Obi-Wan heaved a gusty sigh. "No. Docent Vant says I'm still not well enough." A week ago, Obi-Wan had come down with a nasty virus that had weakened him considerably. "This is Sith-cursed timing. If I were well, they'd get a chance to look at me, at least." He glanced over at Andy. "You're lucky. Is Lily competing, too?"
"Levitation. That's what she's good at." Really good. Ridiculously good. "I'm, um, dueling." Because while Andy wasn't exactly a first-class duelist, she was at least better at that than she was levitation or kata. When it came time to duel, Andy again had a strange, niggling feeling: that she could be better, that she was meant to be better. She just needed some kind of push, something to get her past whatever invisible barrier was holding her back. But what? Was she just imagining things again?
"Hi, guys," Lily said, sounding breathless as she plopped down on the bench next to Andy. She held out a bag. "Hungry?"
"Ooh," Andy said, holding out her hand. "What'd you grab?"
"Sun-apple slices. They're almost out. It's crazy in the canteen now that everybody's up and about."
"I'll go next time," Obi-Wan volunteered, reaching into the bag and pulling out a thick, red candied slice. Then he popped it into his mouth and closed his eyes in bliss.
"Let me pay for it," Andy said, fishing in her tunic pocket for spare credits. "I haven't spent all my allowance this month."
"Don't worry about it," Lily said, leaning forward in her seat, eyes going wide. "Look! It's starting!"
All three of them promptly forgot about credits, whose turn it was to go next, and almost about the sun-apples themselves as the competing Jedi Masters filed into the stadium, to the fanfare of ancient horns and the beat of a thousand-year-old drum. They sat in the first ring around the arena. Andy gasped, and nudged Lily: Master Miranda was among them, her white hair clearly visible even from the high Padawan seats.
"I didn't know she'd compete," Lily said, sounding awed. "I thought she'd be gone this morning, for sure."
"Master Jinn's here too," Obi-Wan said. "In fact--look, some of the Council are here!"
Andy looked, and saw with pleasure that Obi-Wan was right. Seated around the ring were Mace Windu, Adi Gallia, Depa Billaba, Ki-Adi Mundi, Yaddle, and Yarael Poof. Yoda was conspicuously absent, but then, he never competed much anymore.
"Master Poof's going to be doing Levitation too," Lily said with a big grin. "They say only Yoda is better at it than he is."
"This is going to be incredible," Obi-Wan said. "Look at all of them." Andy nodded, feeling a little breathless. Right here, under this roof, was some of the best talent the whole Jedi Order had to offer. Watch and learn, she told herself. Watch and learn. Who knew when another opportunity like this would come along?
The next three hours went by like a dream. The test of Levitation came first, and as Lily had predicted, Yarael Poof swept all before him. All three of them applauded wildly; Master Poof looked up towards where they were sitting and nodded at them, his long neck swaying in the air. Lily laughed and waved.
Andy looked at her in astonishment. "How'd he know where we were sitting? Did you tell him?"
Lily looked equally surprised. "No. Why?"
"Then how did he know?"
"He's going to be my Master, doofus," Lily said. "We've had a bond since I was a little kid. That's how I know."
"Hold it. He knows where you are all the time?" Andy asked, aghast, because that sounded downright creepy.
"Oh, no," Lily said, shaking her head. "It's not like that. But if we're sort of physically close by, and he's actively looking, and I'm not trying to shield myself, then yeah, of course he can find me." She gave Andy a puzzled look. "A lot of Masters and apprentices are that way. It's natural when you have a training bond. Didn't you know that?"
"No," Andy said, now feeling a little jealous instead of creeped out. "That sounds kind of neat." It did. To be that connected to somebody, somebody who was responsible for training you and looking out for you, making you the best that you could be. Andy had never known a feeling like that.
"Well," Lily said, sounding awkward, as if she'd realized that she'd made Andy feel bad, "Master Poof is also really good with mental stuff, you know. He fights with his mind, not a lightsaber. So sensing things is kind of his specialty...it doesn't mean..."
"Yeah," Andy said quietly, and Lily fell silent.
She tried to put it out of her mind, but she had a hard time concentrating on the Masters who performed kata. Normally she liked watching kata: the non-combative precision of movements, graceful acrobatics that were an end in themselves. Some argued--including Yoda--that kata took more skill and discipline than dueling. Andy didn't know if that was true or not (wouldn't it depend on the individual Jedi?), but Jedi who mastered kata were generally deadly fighters as well.
Still, dueling was Andy's favorite. She knew that Jedi didn't go around spoiling for a fight, and she didn't consider herself a violent person, but there was no question that flashing lightsabers were exciting. Certainly exciting enough to make her forget her moodiness.
Then she saw Master Miranda rise to her feet and sweep into the arena, the first to enter the lists, and Andy forgot everything else, period. Especially when Miranda raised the hilt of her lightsaber and pointed it directly at the opponent she wished to challenge.
Qui-Gon Jinn.
Everyone in the arena began to murmur, and suddenly Andy felt the sharp, cool vibration of concern in the air. Even worry. Probably nobody but Andy and Lily knew what had happened between Miranda and Jinn last night, but the animosity between the two was no secret. And a Jedi Exhibit was not about animosity, not about settling scores. There was no place for anger here.
Lily squeaked. Andy watched breathlessly as Qui-Gon straightened his shoulders. If he rose to his feet, he accepted the challenge; if he raised his hand, he declined. What would he do?
But before he could do anything at all, to Andy's shock, Mace Windu himself rose to his feet. His dark, bald head caught the lights, and he said in a deep voice, "Master Miranda, I ask leave to accept your challenge myself." A pause, while the murmuring in the stadium grew even louder. "I have long wished the honor of testing our skills. Qui-Gon?" Windu looked towards Jinn. The two, Andy knew, were old friends. "Will you allow me to duel in your stead?"
"If Master Miranda permits it," Jinn said in a voice that somehow managed to be absolutely neutral.
Windu glanced at Miranda. From this distance, Andy couldn't make out her face very well, but that was probably a good thing.
"Of course," Miranda said, and tilted her head forward. "Whenever you're ready, Master Windu."
"Thank you." Windu slid out of his long brown cloak, freer to move in his tunic alone. Andy noticed that Miranda had elected to leave her cloak on. So did many other Jedi, when they dueled. Andy wasn't sure why, since her own cloak always hampered her. But then, she thought glumly, she was so clumsy that she didn't need any extra help falling on her rear.
Miranda and Windu faced each other across the smooth, polished wood of the floor. They bowed briefly, and powered their lightsabers on. Andy felt the energy in the room change instantly, could feel the currents flowing between the two opponents with shocking clarity. Windu was ready, but cautious, even a little worried. Miranda too was ready, but annoyed. Angry, even. Andy swallowed hard. Anger leads to hate, Yoda always said. Hate leads to suffering. Did Master Miranda actually hate anyone? Did she hate Qui-Gon Jinn?
The match started off slowly, with neither Master making swift or rash moves. Andy had seen Jedi dueling at all levels of skill, and she'd deduced a few things, but the most important was that the best fighters had the most economical movement. They fought close and fast, wasting as little energy as possible on acrobatics and showing off. In competitions like this, most Jedi took a little extra license to exhibit their skills, but it looked like neither Miranda nor Windu was interested in that.
Windu was larger and stronger, with a long reach. Miranda was swifter and, if the rumors were true, more cunning. The two circled each other for what seemed like a very long time. Lily was actually beginning to look kind of bored when neither Windu nor Miranda had attacked after minutes, taking small steps instead, judging one another, moving and then stilling again. But Andy was riveted. She knew that neither of them would hesitate like this in a real duel with a real enemy, but here, they were taking the time to assess each others' strength, to observe the most minute indicators of posture, footwork, gesture, and movement.
Then everything seemed to happen very fast. Andy was pretty sure Miranda moved first, but it was hard to tell, because suddenly she and Windu were whirling as fast as a Tattooine sirocco, their lightsabers crashing together in electric hums and screeches. Windu held his ground as much as he could, relying on his center of gravity, trying to avoid maneuvers that would require him to match his speed against Miranda's. Meanwhile, Miranda attacked in darts and sallies, driving him backwards, forcing him to defend himself by striking out at her, but always missing her by nanoseconds. Andy had never seen anybody move so quickly in her life.
She was also relieved that the two Masters seemed to have drained themselves of emotion. She could no longer detect Windu's concern or Miranda's anger. There was only focus, intention sharp as a blade, purpose. And then, slowly morphing, slowly warming beneath it all, a kind of pleasure. Delight in their skill, in gliding through the Force like supple, rippling fish, becoming one with each and every moment.
Master Miranda in particular seemed to be losing herself in the duel, Andy felt, and then wondered why she felt it. She snapped herself out of the moment with a surprised little shake of her head, and looked over at Lily and Obi-Wan. They were watching the match with great interest, but they didn't seem totally absorbed in it like Andy had.
"Oh!" Lily gasped, and Andy turned around just in time to see Master Miranda leap into the air, above Windu's strike, where she whipped off her cloak in a way that shouldn't have been possible--Andy saw it all as if in slow motion, the way that Miranda dared to release her saber for just a moment so she could tug her arms free--and then she snapped the cloak forward like a whip, covering Windu's head with it, blinding him. He stumbled backwards, flinging the cloak from his face, but it was too late: Miranda had caught her lightsaber as it fell, and brought her blade to his throat.
Windu powered off his lightsaber and dropped it to the ground, signaling his surrender.
Then the Jedi were on their feet, clapping and stomping with pleasure, cheering a well-fought match. Andy found herself applauding so hard that her palms hurt, feeling almost wild with emotion, though she didn't understand why.
"That was so cool!" Lily said breathlessly as she, too, clapped. "Did you see that thing she did? The thing with the cloak?"
"How could you have missed it?" Obi-Wan asked. At that moment, Andy chanced to look at Master Jinn. He too was on his feet, and applauding, but you could only call it polite. Windu and Miranda bowed to each other, and then returned to their seats, where Windu shook Qui-Gon's hand.
"I wonder if she could have beaten Master Jinn like that," Obi-Wan added.
"I guess we'll never know," Lily said.
I hope we'll never know, Andy thought, and was surprised that the memory of the corridor could still make her shiver. But then she put it aside. The arena was all alive with the Force, with the enthusiasm of the Jedi. Master Miranda herself was giving off an aura of something like satisfaction. It became her, Andy thought, wishing like anything that she could fight like that, because obviously it felt amazing.
She suddenly wondered if Miranda would watch the Padawan matches later in the afternoon. Probably not. She probably didn't want to spend any more time around Padawans than she had to. Good thing, too, because then she wouldn't see Andy stumbling all over the place like an idiot. Compared to Miranda, Andy was...she didn't even know. A big chunk of rock next to one of the graceful statues that surrounded the Temple gardens. Totally ludicrous.
Master Miranda said she'd be shipping out tonight. No doubt Andy would never see her again after that.
Which would be a good thing, Andy told herself, in the long run.
Four hours later, surrounded by spectators and wishing she were anywhere else in the galaxy, Andy faced off against her opponent. Bruck Chun was a year younger than she, but already taller and stronger, and one of the biggest bullies in the creche. Obi-Wan was his favorite target, although it looked like Andy was in for her fair share of punishment today. Bruck was more desperate to be a Padawan than anybody Andy had ever met in her life--he made her own hopes and ambitions seem modest.
"You're going down, Andrea," Bruck whispered as Docent Vant approached, carrying the two blindfolds they would wear during the battle. Andy knew that the blindfolds were meant as training aides, to force budding Jedi to focus on currents of Force energy and not what their own, unreliable eyes told them.
They were also comforting, since they meant she wouldn't have to look into Bruck's icy blue eyes, which were usually narrowed in the anticipation of some vicious prank. Andy hoped against hope that Bruck would never become a Padawan. What a joke that would be, what a mockery of the Jedi Code that insisted there was no emotion, no passion, no ignorance, and no chaos. Bruck was full of all four. Then again, Bruck was full of a lot of things.
The blindfold covered her vision. "Begin," Vant ordered, and Andy powered on her saber, hating how her hands were already shaking.
A klutz, her inner voice insisted. This was one voice she'd never been able to shut up, no matter how hard she tried. Clumsy. Goofy. You want this too much.
Andy sensed Bruck's presence. She swung out with her saber and missed; then managed to dodge to the side just in time to avoid his own blow, hearing the sizzle of the lightsaber right by her shoulder.
You want it so much you're ruining it for yourself. You're trying too hard. Everybody is watching.
No. Not everybody was watching, Andy told herself, frantically trying to do what she was worst at: live in the moment, and the moment only. Trying to shut the voice off as she stumbled backwards, just barely evading another blow. She heard Bruck chuckle--even blindfolded, he knew how he was rattling her. It wasn't fair. She might not be up to much, but she would be a better Jedi than him.
You're losing it, her voice said. You're--
Focus.
Andy almost jumped at the intrusion of a different voice into her thoughts. It definitely wasn't her own. It was even harsher than hers, but it wasn't whining or self-pitying; it was sharp, commanding, and cold as Hoth's surface.
Unfortunately, it also didn't help her focus. She ducked just in time to evade another blow, and her retaliatory strike went wide; rather than go on the attack, she backed away from Bruck, holding her lightsaber in front of her defensively. She needed a second to think. She wished she could see Bruck. She remembered how Miranda and Windu had faced off, observing each other minutely using all of their senses, not just relying on the vagaries of the Force. Here and now Andy felt lost, alone, flailing at the edges of a power that was very close by, but so elusive.
Reach for it.
The voice again! Andy looked around like an idiot, even though of course she couldn't see anything, even though the voice was only in her head. It felt so familiar. It felt like somebody she ought to have known all her life. Why couldn't she place it? It was so--
He's right in front of you!
Andy didn't even think about it this time. She parried defensively, and heard her saber crackle and hiss against Bruck's. He stumbled backwards, perhaps surprised, and she followed the sound of his feet, pushing forward, going on the attack for the first time. If she was going down, she thought, then she was going to go down fighting instead of cowering in a corner waiting to be defeated at her opponent's leisure. Strange voices in her head or no.
Yes. Like that. The voice sounded almost excited now, and again, it threw Andy's concentration--but then it jerked it right back. Forward!
Forward. Forward. Andy blundered forward, grappling for the edges of the Force. She could feel it swirling around her in eddies but never filling her, never engulfing her like it had yesterday afternoon, letting her become one with it for the first time when she'd--
--when she'd fled from Master Miranda who killed a Padawan killed a Padawan--
Andy's brain went completely blank. For the second time in as many days she let her reflexes take over, and felt herself being moved by the Force as she struck forward as hard as she could, darting forward to where she knew Bruck to be. Her lightsaber clashed and crashed against his as she parried it out of the way, driving him back and back and back, astonishing herself with her own ferocity, letting herself be swept away.
He was angry. He was afraid. She could feel it. Bruck had never been afraid of her before. But he was now, afraid of her and of losing and of getting hurt, and Andy wasn't afraid at all. She felt lit up from within, almost on fire, and she was going to beat him. She was going to win, and finally show everyone that she could--
"Initiates, hold!" Docent Vant called. "Stop the match."
Andy froze in place, sure that she must have misheard. After a second, she thought she really must have misheard, because Bruck took advantage of the moment and knocked her to the ground, making her land hard on her back while the breath rushed out of her.
"Initiate Chun!" Vant shouted, sounding very displeased. "I told you to hold!"
"Sorry, Docent," Bruck said, as Andy, wheezing, tugged off her blindfold. "I didn't hear you."
"You will be disciplined," Vant said. Andy watched Bruck pull off his own blindfold and look at her defiantly. Vant glared right back, and then looked at Andy; to Andy's surprise, her expression did not soften. She didn't look approving.
Andy looked around the ring, and saw Obi-Wan and Lily staring at her with wide eyes. She got kind of a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. Something was wrong. She'd done something wrong.
"Initiate Andrea, go change out of your fighting gear," Vant said. Her voice was calm now, but the look in her eyes was quite serious.
Andy licked her lips, horribly aware of the many eyes on her. "Docent, what happened? Did I--"
"We'll talk later." Vant pointed to the doors that led to the changing rooms. "Go now, and try to calm down. Bruck Chun, you will go with Knight Jusik." Bruck shot Andy another glare before he followed a very stern-looking Bardan Jusik, heading down the hallway towards whatever punishment he so richly deserved.
Bewildered, and not a little scared, Andy headed for the changing rooms. Lily intercepted her on the way, and said, "Are you all right? What happened out there?"
"You tell me," Andy said, trying to make sense of the worried look on Lily's face. "I thought I was doing really well. I was, wasn't I? I mean, wasn't I winning?"
"Yeah," Lily said. "You were."
"So what's wrong?" Andy asked in frustration. "I felt really good, Lily. Really alive--like things were working out."
"I don't know," Lily said. "You were just different, that's all. You looked really aggressive. Kind of angry."
"But I wasn't angry," Andy protested. "I just felt like I knew what I was doing for once. You know--" She lowered her voice. "Lily, I need to tell you, there was this voice--"
"Initiate Andrea," Vant called firmly. "Get changed. Now."
"We'll talk later," Lily whispered, and hurried back to the seats and Obi-Wan. Andy shook her head and continued into the changing room.
It was empty. She was glad to get away from the stares. Why had Lily said 'different' like it was a bad thing? Andy had actually been winning a fight for once. She'd felt the Force like it was a part of her.
The question, of course, was why.
Andy didn't change into her other clothes right away, or even get in the 'fresher. She just sat down on the nearest bench in her sweaty workout gear and stared at the lightsaber in her hands. It was just a training saber. If you wanted your own lightsaber, you made it yourself. It was part of being a Padawan. Part of becoming a Jedi. Aalya Secura was still working on hers. She said it was way more difficult than it sounded.
Then she heard the sound of a side door opening and closing, and a step on the floor. Thinking maybe it was Lily, or even Docent Vant coming to explain, Andy looked up. Then she almost dropped her training saber, because Master Miranda stood by the lockers, hands folded in front of her as she gazed on Andy with a thoughtful look on her face.
After a moment, Andy remembered herself and scrambled to her feet, sketching a quick bow. "M-m-master Miranda," she said. Then, before Miranda could beat her to it, she added, "I'm sorry for spying on you and Master Jinn last night."
"Are you?" Miranda asked, lifting an eyebrow.
"Yes, Master," Andy said, gripping her saber in palms that grew damper by the second. "It was rude. Really rude. But, um, we didn't mean any harm."
"Sit down," Miranda said. Andy was glad of the order, because her knees were starting to knock together.
"You're Andrea," Miranda said. "From Elohin."
For a second, Andy was too surprised to speak. Then she managed, "Yes, Master. B-but everybody calls me Andy." She assayed a little smile.
Miranda did not return it. "I'm from Southern Elohin too," she said, "and thus I know that 'Andrea' is the only name you've got." Andy hunched her shoulders at the clip in Miranda's voice. It was true; Elohin folk from the South had only one name. "Not 'Andy.' Honor your heritage."
"But Master," Andy said, daring to speak in self-defense, "we're supposed to put our home worlds behind us. Aren't we? We're just supposed to be Jedi now."
"If you forget where you come from, you're not anything at all." Miranda sat down next to Andy on the bench, at a polite distance, and folded her hands in her lap, never taking her eyes from Andy's face. She had the most penetrating gaze Andy had ever seen, and Andy squirmed beneath it. "You are a Jedi who happens to hail from Southern Elohin."
"No, Master," Andy whispered. "I'm not a Jedi at all." She gulped and looked back down at her training saber, turning it over and over again in her hands.
"I was watching your match," Miranda said.
Andy swallowed hard. "I figured," she said, because why else would Miranda just happen to be in this changing room right now? Which meant that Miranda had seen...whatever Docent Vant and Lily had seen that they found so alarming.
"Did you sense my presence?"
The question astonished Andy so much that she forgot to be frightened as she met Miranda's gaze head-on. "No, Master," she said.
Miranda narrowed her eyes. "Are you sure?"
"Well, yes. I--" Andy stopped. That voice in her head, urging her on.
Now she remembered where she'd heard it before. Last night, in the corridor. Killed a Padawan.
Impossible. That wasn't possible. She and Miranda didn't have any kind of bond, certainly nothing like what Lily and Master Poof had developed ever since Lily was small. How could they possibly?
"Um," she said, blinking.
"Indeed," Miranda replied.
"I don't understand," Andy said, clutching the saber so tightly that it hurt her hands. "That was you? Telling me to do things?"
It was Miranda's turn to look astonished. "Telling you to what?"
"You know. 'Focus,' and 'He's right in front of you,' and--" Andy floundered, trying to remember. "You told me to go forward, so I did, and..."
"I told you?" Now Miranda appeared utterly gobsmacked. "You heard that?"
Andy was pretty sure she understood the feeling. "D-didn't you just ask me if I sensed you?"
"Yes, but--" Miranda shook her head, frowning. "Not to that extent. I didn't realize I was projecting that hard--or that you could possibly hear me."
"Oh." Andy blinked again, hard, trying to clear her head. This didn't make any sense. Things weren't supposed to work quite like this. "You were, were thinking at me?"
"So it seems." Miranda frowned even more, looking angry. "This should not be happening."
"I'm sorry," Andy said feebly.
Miranda looked irritated and made a dismissive gesture. "I should not have come here. I intended to get answers, not raise more questions." She rubbed at her forehead. "I don't like unanswered questions."
"Master Yoda says that truth can be found in mysteries," Andy ventured.
"Master Yoda can take a flying leap from the Senate roof," Miranda said. Andy gasped in shock. Miranda glared at her, clearly unrepentant. "He'd survive it, I assure you."
"I, um," Andy said. "I guess, yeah." She'd never met anybody so deliberately sour before. "Master Miranda?"
"What?"
Andy took a deep breath. "Do you know why Docent Vant stopped the match?"
Miranda looked at her for a long moment--so long that Andy wondered if she ought to repeat herself, or just let it go. "I can't say for certain," she replied eventually. "I did not speak to her. I would venture a guess that she thought you were getting too close to drawing on the Dark Side."
For a moment, Andy was speechless with horror. Then she managed, "But I wasn't!" That was the last thing she needed--word to get around that somehow Initiate Andrea was turning to the Dark Side. She'd be booted out of the Temple for sure. Maybe not even allowed to join the Agri-Corps. What would she do? Go back to the family she hadn't seen since she was three years old?
Miranda stopped her descent into panic with, "No, you weren't. But you were clearly drawing on something outside yourself." A pause. "I'm fairly certain that it was me."
Andy stared at her. "You? I mean, you, Master?"
"I'm not in the habit of repeating myself," Miranda said. "That's the first thing you should know."
"The, the first thing?"
Miranda pressed her lips together, and for a moment she looked...not nervous. Andy realized, with a jolt, that Miranda's expression was just like the one from her dream last night. Apprehensive. A little scared. But then it was gone in a flash.
"I dreamed about you," Andy whispered. "Last night. I did."
Miranda regarded her for a long moment, and then moved to sit closer to Andy on the bench. She reached out and took a lock of Andy's hair in her hands. Parted it into three strands.
And began to braid it.
"You're kidding," Lily said.
"No," Andy said, swallowing hard as she packed her few belongings in a duffel bag.
"Yes. You are. You've got to be kidding." Lily sounded almost frantic. "Andy, are you crazy? You can't do this!"
"It's done," Andy said, reaching up to finger the braid hanging by her chin. For the past half-hour, since leaving Miranda in the changing room, she'd felt as if she walked in a dream.
"No, it's not. You can change your mind. You can still..."
"I can't change anything," Andy said. "It's the will of the Force, Lily. I can feel it." She swallowed again, and it hurt. Because she was right: she'd never felt the Force so clearly in her life, urging her towards Master Miranda, showing her that their destinies were connected.
She'd always thought that it would be comforting if the Force told you what to do. That knowing the will of the Force removed all doubt, all uncertainty, and left behind only confidence, since you knew you were doing the right thing. But she'd never felt so frightened and uncertain in her life.
"Andy," Lily moaned, grabbing her sleeve, "she killed her last Padawan!"
"The Padawan turned to the Dark Side," Andy said, and tried to sound confident when she added, "I won't do that."
"But today, at the match--" Lily faltered.
"That wasn't the Dark Side," Andy protested. "I told you--"
"This isn't right," Lily said. "I don't care what you say. Andy, don't go!"
"Lily, it'll be okay," Andy said, looking into the eyes of the girl who'd been her best friend ever since she could remember. When would they see each other again? "I promised. We were talking, and it was just...I can't explain it." She reached up to touch her braid, remembering the look of grim determination on Miranda's face as she'd tied off the end. "This is just how it has to go."
"But aren't you scared?"
Andy zipped up her duffel and turned back to Lily with tears in her eyes. "I'll miss you," she whispered. Lily looked back at her with trembling lips before they threw their arms around each other and cried.
Lily wanted to accompany Andy to Master Miranda's temporary quarters, but Andy said no; the last thing they needed was for Miranda to remember last night's indiscretion, and there was no need for Lily to get in trouble. So she hefted her duffel and headed down the corridors. Was she imagining the stares and whispers? Was it only in her head that people were watching her, seeing her as Master Miranda's latest doomed apprentice?
Not doomed, Andy told herself. The Force wouldn't do that to her. It could manifest itself in destruction--at least, her teachers had always said things like that--but nobody had ever said the Force could actually be out to get you personally. And this was the will of the Force, so everything was going to work out okay, even if Andy was really spooked right now. Right?
She'd almost talked herself into it when she heard her very own misgivings being voiced, out loud, by two people who were a lot smarter and more important than she was.
She was a few steps from Master Miranda's temporary quarters when she heard Miranda's low, even voice, followed by Mace Windu's, and then Master Yoda's. Knowing that she was about to eavesdrop two times in as many days, Andy froze to the spot, clutching her bag and glad that nobody was hovering around.
"...unusually impulsive," Windu was saying gravely. "It's not like you."
"The bond is there, Mace," Miranda replied. Andy raised her eyebrows. She hadn't known that Miranda and Master Windu were friendly enough for her to use Windu's given name. "It's unmistakable. You must trust my judgment on this."
"Doubt the bond, I do not," Yoda said. "Even doubt your intentions, I do not."
"How kind of you," Miranda said.
"But this course of action? That I doubt," Yoda continued. Andy shivered. She was used to hearing Yoda sounding kind and wise, and sometimes downright cryptic. He never spoke to the initiates as he spoke to Master Miranda now: threats and hidden thunder. "Ambitious you are. So is the girl. Sensed it, I have."
He had? Yoda thought she was ambitious? Andy felt her face get hot with shame. She'd never known that he'd seen anything bad in her. He'd never said anything.
"You are too hard on ambition," Miranda replied. "You always have been. That's how things get done. It isn't a sure path to the Dark Side--"
"Miranda--" Windu began.
"--which is what you've always feared, isn't it? And now this, that I'll go down that path and drag another Padawan with me. Is that what you think?"
"Voiced your own fears, you have," Yoda said quietly. "Not mine."
Silence fell. Andy held her breath. After a moment, Windu said, "Miranda, you and I have always respected each other. I wish I could be as certain of this course of action as you seem to be." He paused. "You have always been very certain of everything."
"I am certain of this," Miranda said. Andy began to edge closer to the door. "That is the only thing that concerns us now."
"More than this concerns us," Yoda said. "Much more."
"Do you intend to deny me the Council's permission?" Miranda asked sharply. "Will you try to keep me from training Andrea?"
"Do or do not," Yoda said. "There is no try. If to forbid you we decide, then forbid you we will."
"This is the will of the Force," Miranda said, "and say what you like about me, I have never disobeyed that will. Never in my life."
Windu's voice had a warning in it when he said, "Miranda, think before you say something you will regret. Are you implying that you would go in direct defiance of the Council? You, of all people?"
Andy judged that it was time to make her presence known, before Miranda could indeed say something she'd regret. She hurried to stand in the doorway and cleared her throat. "Master Miranda?"
All three Jedi Masters turned to face her. Andy hoisted her bag. "I'm, uh, here." Then, belatedly, she realized her lapse in etiquette, and bowed to Yoda and Windu. "Oh, good evening, Masters."
"Good evening to you, Initiate Andrea," Yoda said, and Andy cringed. Not 'Padawan Andrea'. Miranda drew her shoulders up very straight. Mace Windu looked back and forth between all three of them, and then concentrated his gaze particularly on Andy. It made Andy tremble a little bit; somehow Windu's gaze was even more disconcerting than Miranda's. Probably because she had no way to know what Windu was thinking. She felt like a bug under glass.
"The bond cannot be denied," he said after a moment. "I too sense it."
"I told you that much," Miranda said in exasperation.
"Young Andrea," Windu said, "how do you feel about this path you see before you?"
"I, um," Andy said, and then squared her shoulders. "It's the will of the Force, Master. I accept it. I'm ready."
"Consider the question, Initiate," Yoda said, flattening his ears. "Asked you, Master Windu did, to consider your feelings. Not your acceptance."
Andy flushed. "I--I--" All three Masters were looking at her closely. Windu was intent, but not hostile; Yoda's eyes were hooded; Miranda was inscrutable. Andy looked at her pleadingly, suddenly longing for that voice in her head, for words of guidance, however harsh.
Miranda blinked once, and then Andy heard: Honesty, Padawan.
Andy gulped, and turned to look at Windu and Yoda. "I'm scared, Masters," she admitted.
"Of what?" Windu asked. "The bond? Your perception of the future?"
"Or is it Master Miranda you fear?" Yoda added. Miranda hissed in a breath, and Windu actually winced, but Andy knew it was a fair question. Yoda could get to the heart of the matter when he wished. She'd been terrified of Miranda, hadn't she? Ever since the words killed a Padawan had begun to echo in her head.
But already she'd begun to turn to Miranda for reassurance, for guidance. Already she'd drawn on her for strength and speed. Windu and Miranda were both right: the bond could not be denied.
"I don't think so, Master Yoda," she said slowly. "Not anymore. I was at first."
"And now?"
"Maybe a little, still," Andy admitted. "But it's more that I don't know how this happened, or what it means, or anything."
Yoda frowned. Was he going to forbid it? To her surprise, Andy felt something close to panic at the thought. Which was crazy. Lily was right: this whole situation was crazy. Shouldn't Andy be glad to be given an escape? Wouldn't it make her life easier and less complicated if she didn't have to worry about her own destiny, if she could let the Council make that decision for her?
"Master," she whispered, feeling unutterably daring, "you've always told me that there's truth in mysteries. And that I have to live in the moment."
"True," Yoda said, resting his hands on his gnarled old gimer stick and tilting his head to the side. "What do you learn from this moment?"
"That I'm supposed to be Master Miranda's apprentice," Andy said. "No matter what."
"Hmm." Yoda tapped his claws thoughtfully against the head of the gimer stick. Then he said abruptly, "Vote on this matter, the Council will," turned, and hobbled out of Miranda's quarters without another word.
"Vote?" Miranda said to Windu. "Is he joking?"
"Yoda's jokes are usually more to the point," Windu said. He shook his head. "I'd better go. Perhaps I can dissuade him--it's been known to happen." He shot Miranda a look. "But if I can't, you will have my vote, Master Miranda."
"I should hope so," Miranda said, instead of 'thank you.' Windu nodded at her and Andy, and left before Andy could bow at him. The door hissed shut behind him, and Miranda exhaled a long, slow breath.
Then she turned and gave Andy a grim smile. "So. Here we are, Padawan."
That word again, as if it had already happened. Andy tried not to hope. She glanced towards the kitchenette, and said, "Should I make us some tea, Master?"
"I think that's a very good idea," Miranda replied.
It turned out that those were the last encouraging words Andy was going to hear from Miranda for a while. The next twenty minutes were filled with exacting instructions for how to prepare and serve the tea, a lecture on proper posture when sitting at the table, and an admonition to sip slowly and not rush the process. "Pay attention to your life as it happens, Andrea," Master Miranda said. "Don't let it slip by."
"Yes, Master," Andy said, trying to be patient and grateful for the instruction, and not think about what it would be like to spend the next ten years of her life with someone who would fault every little thing she did. Why did the Force have to will this?
She held on tightly to her teacup and steeled herself for the question she really wanted to ask. "Master, do you think the Council will give you permission to train me?"
She had nearly expected a quick rebuff. But to her relief, Miranda frowned and looked off into the distance. "It's hard for me to say," she replied. "I perceive several different futures. All of them cloudy." She tapped her fingernails against the teacup.
"But Yoda will bend," she said, after another moment of silence.
"He will?" Andy asked in surprise. "Are you sure?"
"Mostly sure," Miranda said. "After he thinks about it. Whatever his personal feelings, he will obey the will of the Force. And he is as connected to the Force and its currents as any living Jedi, I'll say that for him."
"So the rest of the Council will agree with him, right?" Andy asked hopefully. "If he and Master Windu both vote for you, I mean. If it even goes to a vote." She hoped Windu could talk Yoda out of it.
"There are those on the Council who are not my friends," Miranda said. She gave Andy a level look. "It's best for you to know these things right away, but I expect your discretion."
"Yes, Master," Andy said at once.
"Even given your addiction to eavesdropping."
Andy hunched her shoulders, and repeated, "Yes, Master," even more meekly.
"And don't slouch."
"No, Master." Andy straightened back up. "S-so, um, what will we do if they say no?"
Miranda regarded her for a long moment before not answering her question. "Andrea," she said, "recite the Code."
Andy blinked. The Jedi Code was one of the first things she'd ever learned. Was Miranda doubting even that elementary level of her education?
But dutifully she recited, "There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is the Force."
"No." Miranda shook her head, looking at Andy with deep disapproval. "No, no, no."
"What?" Andy asked, aghast. "What did I get wrong?" Nothing, she was pretty sure. She'd recited the Code in the creche every day she could remember.
"I've argued for years that we need to drop Odan-Urr's ridiculous interpretation," Miranda said, clearly disgusted. "I suppose it's not your fault. Listen to me. This is the original Code, the one we must live by."
Andy nodded, already breathless at Miranda's audacity. Referring to the work of Odan-Urr, the greatest scholar in Jedi history, as 'ridiculous'? She was worse than Qui-Gon Jinn!
"Emotion, yet peace," Miranda said coolly, as if she'd sensed Andy's skepticism. "Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet the Force." She raised her eyebrows. "Do you hear the difference?"
"I, I guess so, Master."
"It is folly not to acknowledge the existence of ignorance, passion, chaos, and death. It is folly to pretend that the universe has only one face." Miranda pursed her lips. "I have had occasion to learn this, Andrea."
"Oh," Andy said softly, and wrung her hands beneath the table. She could feel, just barely, a soft undercurrent of sorrow around Miranda. It was the same sorrow she'd sensed yesterday when Miranda had argued with Jinn.
"Whatever happens, I will train you," Miranda said. "If you will be trained. The decision's yours."
Andy stared at her. "But if the Council says no--how could we--"
"The decision is yours," Miranda repeated.
Suddenly, Andy realized that Miranda could mean only thing, and she was even more breathless than before. "You'd leave the Order?" she croaked. "You'd--you're saying you and I would--"
"I am saying," Miranda said sharply, "that for whatever reason, the Force has clearly decreed that I be the one to guide you, however and wherever that happens. Don't imagine that I'm particularly happy about all that might entail. Stop slouching."
"S-s-s-sorry, Master," Andy managed, and took a slow sip of tea that did nothing to calm her. Leave the Order? Master Miranda was actually proposing that they leave the Order together, stop being Jedi, if the Council told them no? Was she completely out of her mind?
The decision is yours. Or maybe she was betting on Andy to refuse. Testing how true Andy's commitment really was to fulfilling her own destiny.
The thought made Andy narrow her eyes just a little bit, and before she could think better of it she said, "Yes, Master." Then she had the pleasure of watching surprise cross Miranda's face, very briefly. "If that's what you decide, I'll follow you."
It was Miranda's turn to narrow her eyes. "You're a slippery one, aren't you?"
Suddenly feeling sheepish, Andy said, "Sorry."
"Hmm." Miranda tapped her fingers again. "Very well. If I am given permission to train you, and thereby we stay in the Order, I am going to request reassignment from my current mission. It's too dangerous to bring an untrained Padawan along. Mace will have realized this already, I am sure." She gave Andy a disdainful look. "It would be an understatement to say that you are in dire need of improvement."
"Yes, Master," Andy admitted. "I'm really clumsy. I hope you can help me. I'm not afraid to work hard."
"I can, and you are going to regret saying that," Miranda replied. But before she could elaborate--or Andy could crawl under the table to hide--the intercom beeped.
"Miranda?" Windu's voice called.
Andy watched Miranda go on alert. It was an impressive sight, and reminded her of a snow-fox she'd seen once in the Coruscant Zoo--an elegant creature in repose that suddenly came all alive at the sound of danger. "Yes?" Miranda replied.
"Yoda and I have spoken further. He has changed his mind," Windu said.
"I thought he would."
"The vote need not go to the Council." At the words, Miranda looked almost relieved. "Is your Padawan with you?"
"She is," Miranda said, and the words seemed unreal to Andy. A Padawan. Twenty-four hours ago she'd thought...and now she was a Padawan.
"Hail, Padawan Andrea," Windu said. "Congratulations."
"Thank you, Master," Andy managed.
"Miranda," Windu continued, "given the circumstances, you have been reassigned from your mission."
"Of course."
"You and Padawan Andrea will travel tomorrow at first light to the Temple at Tython. Begin her training there. We will contact you within the month with your next assignment."
Tython? They were sending Andy and Miranda all the way to Tython for training, instead of keeping them here on Coruscant? But Miranda didn't comment on the oddity. "Who's taking my place?" she asked.
After a pause, Windu said, "Master Jinn has volunteered."
Miranda's shoulders straightened, and Andy didn't have to try very hard to sense the sudden surge of--she wasn't sure how to categorize it. More than annoyance. Not quite anger. "I see."
"He asked me to convey his good wishes to you and your new Padawan."
Now Andy felt real anger. She cringed. Miranda opened her mouth, glanced at Andy, and shut it again; then Andy felt her consciously shutting the anger down. "Convey my thanks, then," Miranda said with suspicious mildness. "And my certainty that he will complete the mission in his own special way."
"I'll be sure to. I assume that Padawan Andrea will take the traditional night in the Rotunda Chapel."
"Of course she will. Is that all?"
"It is." Windu sounded a little amused. "Good night, Miranda."
"Good night." The intercom light blinked off.
Miranda turned to look at Andy and raised her eyebrows. "Well? You heard him. Don't dawdle. I can't stand that."
"Yes, Master," Andy said, rising to her feet. She wasn't looking forward to this particular ritual; new Padawans traditionally spent the first night of their apprenticeship meditating in the Rotunda Chapel in preparation for their new lives. After the long, tumultuous day, Andy was pretty sure she'd just go to sleep. And Miranda would definitely know.
"First light," Miranda reminded her. "Do not be late."
"No, Master," Andy said, heading for the door, because further ceremony definitely didn't seem called for. "I'll be here."
And she was, even though her prediction came true: she nodded off mid-meditation sometime after the third chime, and didn't come to any particular revelations before then. She'd hoped she would; that the will of the Force would clarify itself a little, make her feel better.
Well, she felt a little better after spending some time in Miranda's quarters and not being killed, and even defending their bond to two of the most respected Jedi Masters in the galaxy. Besides, after getting to know her new Master a little better, Andy was pretty sure that if Miranda was going to kill her it would be by criticizing her to death.
Now, wavering sleepily at the door to Miranda's quarters, Andy wondered about the day ahead. Even with hyperspace, Tython was a day's travel away. Andy still wasn't sure why they were going there.
Predictably, Master Miranda was already up and dressed, with a packed bag at her feet and a teacup in her hand. "You fell asleep," she said.
"Yes, Master," Andy said, and rubbed her eyes with a fist. "I'm sorry."
"We will practice meditation during the trip."
"Yes, Master," Andy repeated, trying not to sound too gloomy. "Master, do you know why they're sending us to Tython instead of letting us stay here while you train me?"
"I have my suspicions," Miranda said. She settled back against her chair and nodded towards the second place at the table, where Andy saw a plate with some toast, and another teacup, gently steaming. Something inside her dared to glow a little. "I would be interested to hear yours."
"Mine? Um," Andy said as she sat down and reached for a piece of toast. "I think, maybe, um...I don't know," she finished lamely. "I don't really understand how this works."
"We would be a distraction," Miranda said. She glanced out the window, at the sun rising against the endless cityscape. "An object of gossip. On Tython we will be less remarked."
"Oh." Andy bit her lip. "They're just getting us out of the way?"
"Get used to it. And eat quickly. Our transport leaves in ten minutes."
Andy immediately began wolfing down the rest of the toast. So much for eating mindfully, she thought as she gulped her tea and nearly scalded her tongue. "Thanks for breakfast, Master," she mumbled. "I'll make it tomorrow." And probably every day after. It was part of a Padawan's duty to learn humility.
"Yes," Miranda said, sounding absent. She was still looking out the window. Andy tentatively opened her own mind, seeking out Miranda's. Not to her surprise, she felt that same undercurrent of sadness. Was she thinking about her lost Padawans, all of them, as she prepared to start all over with a new one?
"Stop that," Miranda rapped, and Andy instantly retreated as she felt Miranda slam up her mental shields.
"S-sorry," she stammered in the face of Miranda's glare. "I didn't mean to intrude." Not a lot, anyway. "I'm still getting used to how the bond works."
"Then let this be your first lesson," Miranda said coldly. "You are not permitted to listen in on my thoughts whenever it suits you."
"No," Andy said, beginning to sweat. "Of course not. I'm sorry," she repeated. She had the feeling she was going to apologize a lot during the rest of her apprenticeship.
"The Master-Padawan bond is one of mutual respect," Miranda said. She rose to her feet and folded her hands inside her sleeves. "I expect us both to abide by that. I will not ask more of you than I ask of myself." She raised an eyebrow. "Which is a lot, by the way."
"I'm getting that impression, Master," Andy said, making a feeble sally at humor. Miranda didn't roll her eyes, so she judged it a minor success. Not daring to push her luck, Andy carried her dishes into the kitchenette and loaded them into the automated dumbwaiter that would whisk them down into the Temple's massive kitchen facilities.
Then she took a deep breath and turned to face Miranda. "I won't let you down, Master," she said. "I'll try my best. I mean, I know Master Yoda says all those things about how there's no such thing as 'try,' but--I'm going to try."
"Interestingly enough, that particular aphorism is a point on which Yoda and I agree completely," Miranda said. Andy deflated at once. "You will do your best, or you won't." She paused. "So will I."
"I know," Andy said. "I saw you dueling with Master Windu. That was amazing. I want to learn to do that. You looked like you could do anything!" she added.
Miranda laughed harshly. "You'll learn otherwise soon enough." Then she cocked her head, reminding Andy yet again of the snow-fox. "And I'll learn from you. That's the way it goes."
"Yes, Master," Andy said dutifully, though she had no idea what a Jedi like Miranda could possibly learn from a lowly nobody like Andy. Maybe how to fall on her butt more efficiently during a fight.
Miranda snorted, and one side of her mouth turned up. Horrified, Andy realized she'd overheard the thought, that Andy hadn't been shielding very well. "You were listening in!" she accused.
"People who speak loudly shouldn't expect others not to hear," Miranda said. "I learned that twice in the last two days. It's your turn." She held a hand out towards the door. "Your bag is still packed, Padawan. Let's go meet our ship."
"Yes, Master," Andy said, feeling contrite as she picked up her duffel, which sat right where she'd left it yesterday afternoon by the door. "I'm ready."
Miranda lifted her own bag. "Are you?"
Andy swallowed and took her life in her hands. "I'm as ready as you are, Master."
Miranda tilted her head back at such impudence. This time, Andy chose not to back down. It was true, after all.
"My, my," Miranda murmured after a moment. She even looked a little pleased, for the first time since they'd met. "This is going to be interesting, isn't it?"
"It looks like it," Andy agreed. "Master," she added quickly.
Miranda swept towards the door, her brown cloak flapping around her ankles and making more noise than the soundless tread of her feet. "Then follow me," she said, never looking over her shoulder.
Andy did, knowing it was only the first time of many. And as they headed down the corridor towards the landing pad, too early to encounter lots of curious faces, Andy reflected that Miranda was wrong.
'Interesting' wasn't even going to cover it.
FIN.