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One day, while all of the fairy alliance are at their Queen's fort, Martyn turns up at their doorstep. All 4 of them swivel their heads toward him, standing awkwardly behind the meagre fence Lizzie has placed for protection.
Lizzie raises her eyebrow as if to say speak.
"Er.. could I speak to Ren alone for a minute?" he says, and looks so meagre as he does so. Ren doesn't know what to make of his expression.
Lizzie chimes in, her sword equipped now and pointed toward him, "No way, bogeyman." Cleo and BigB are both mirroring her, arms folded and expressions suspicious.
Ren-
Ren should be suspicious. Martyn has yet to come to visit, let alone so publicly. And with boogeymen on their tails, raised swords and gritted teeth are what he should also show the other man. Someone who dares come to his Queen pretending to be anything but an enemy. He should be suspicious.
He looks at Martyn's face and can't seem to convince himself enough of that fact.
"No. It's-" Martyn starts again, "It's not about the game."
Cleo scoffs, "Yeah right. Go back home, Martyn."
"Really! I swear it's not," he continues to implore them, eyes almost boring into Ren's. He still can't bring himself to speak for some reason.
He catches Lizzie side eyeing him from his left. She narrows her brows and turns to Martyn again, chest puffed and voice confident. Challenging. "If its not about the game then you can say it to all of us."
Martyn's face twists a little, like a grimace. Ren's stomach sinks. He wraps his hand tight around the handle of his sword. He needs to listen to that fact now, he knows it.
There's silence for second, only the wind whistling through the leaves and the clink of armour as the fairy alliance becomes more defensive by the second. Martyn sees it. He takes a deep breath, and when he speaks there is a slight shake to his words, "Alright. Alright. I- you know how I'm teamed with Grian, right?"
Ren kind of hates seeing him this nervous. He clenches his jaw and nods, because it seems like Martyn is speaking directly to him, even if his teammates are right at his shoulders.
"Right, well, we were talking about it, and we think maybe.." he pauses, looking between each of their faces, "Maybe we might have a way to try and find each other. Outside the games."
When he finishes, he stands as tall as possible, a taught-ness to his jaw. His eyes are open though, and he doesn't for a second look away from Ren.
"Oh," Ren says. It's all he can bring himself to say to that expression. That imploring expression. And Ren already knows what he's asking, because he knows Martyn like the back of his hand at this point. I want to look for you.
Ren can't quite stop the tremor in his own fingers at the thought. Of a point where he and Martyn could simply- simply be, without the forever tainted handprint of these games all over their skin. He wants it so desperately and suddenly it scares him.
"How?" BigB asks, and Ren is suddenly reminded of their presence. Martyn breaks their gaze to look at him.
"Grian thinks he's found a chink in the server code about our location. Which means maybe being able to find a relative distance to our servers and sending other people's address out to them for storage away from- from here. So we can maybe still have the address directions when we're back home."
"So, what? He wants to invite you guys to visit us after it's all over?" Cleo prods, tone shifting into actually curious.
"He wants to try it at least," Martyn nods, "Obviously it's not been tested, or anything. We came up with it like an hour ago and I came straight here."
He seems to suddenly catch what he just said, and his cheeks tint a lovely pink colour, "I meant, um-"
"What's this got to do with Ren?" Lizzie interrupts, brow still furrowed. She's clearly still not believing the entire story, what with how defensive her posture is still.
Martyn's mouth opens and closes a few times, and Lizzie raises a brow. The pink on his cheeks is slowly turning more red by the second, "I just- can I look for you?"
Ren shouldn't feel so happy about knowing the question was coming. Shouldn't feel so happy about the way Martyn is looking at him, like he needs Ren to say yes.
"Oh, Martyn.." Ren says, and lets go of his grip on the sword. He steps closer to the gate without thinking, and Martyn does the same, until his legs are pressed tight against the wood.
"Ah," Cleo clicks their tongue against their teeth, and moves to grab BigB and Lizzie's arm, to migrate them all further away from the fence gate. Lizzie scrunches her nose in confusion and doesn't budge. BigB shakes his head with a smile and heads to other side of their thicket of trees.
"I know. I know what we said, last game. That when it's over, it's over. And obsessing over all the things we do, the people we meet and ally and betray, all it will do is hurt. And that was if we even remembered at all.." Martyn rambles, hands fidgeting nervously in front of him, "But I couldn't just forget about it. I spent months just– trying to–"
He breathes in. And breathes out. When he looks at Ren, there is that familiar determination to his eyes, "So.. I just came to ask. To know. If I could look for you when it's all over, this time."
Ren opens his mouth to speak, but Martyn cuts in again, brain clearly running a million ticks per second, "I wont if you don't want me to. If it's different now, I know. I understand. We aren't– I'm not.. yours anymore. That in the end, we were just playing it up and now its over. But I just had to try."
It is still almost unspoken in all his words. I want to look for you, and when I do, I want us to be together again.
When it seems like he's finally let all his thoughts run into the wild, Ren speaks, "I lied, Martyn."
"What?"
"I lied, back at Dogwarts. About moving on. I was just– just trying to make it easier for you, because you were already so afraid of the 'after'. I thought it would be easier, maybe, for you to try and forget and move forward," he smiles, and knows that it is guilt that taints the edges of him, "I couldn't forget, Martyn. I'm not that kind of guy, you know? Dogwarts–"
He suddenly catches himself, and when he turns to look back at his Queen, Lizzie has in fact taken the hint from Cleo and stepped away. Not as far, she's still eyeing Martyn a little warily, but enough.
He steps forward again, until their knees are basically touching through the fence. When he places his hands on the grain of it, Martyn does the same, thumbs brushing against Ren's pinkies. His voice is much softer now. Something to keep between him and Martyn. "Dogwarts was everything to me. I laid every stone in that place. Watered every crop. I wouldn't want to forget that. Even when it was surrounded and destroyed and infiltrated by the entire server, I loved it. It was still mine."
"Ours," Martyn adds hesitantly, and Ren can't help but laugh. He picks up his hands and holds them out, palm up. Martyn doesn't hesitate to take the hint.
"Ours."
The quiver to the other man's voice is back, and he squeezes Ren's hands tightly, "You were Dogwarts for me, Ren. I didn't even– I didn't even make it five minutes after you died, you know? I was so– so angry. So—" he breathes in sharply, "I want to see you, when its over. When it's quiet. Can I?"
"Yes."
"You'd want to see me too?"
"Oh, Martyn," he says again, and Martyn's lips press together tightly. Ren smooths his thumbs over Martyn's skin, "I'll always want to see you."
Martyn sniffles and laughs, voice tight, "Yeah?"
"Yes. Always."
"It might not work, you know. I might not be able to."
Ren shrugs, "I'll wait. I already spent so many months doing just that, I can handle a few more."
Martyn smiles, sadness to the corners of his expression, "You make it sound easy."
"It isn't. I just know to take what I can get. If.. if all I ever get to see of you is these games, whether we're allies or enemies or barely even acquaintances, then I'll treasure every second, Martyn."
They squeeze hands again. When Martyn speaks, there is a familiar accent on his tongue. Ren can't contain the joy in his face at the sound of it. Of his Hand. "You are a romantic at heart, aye, Milord?"
And Ren is nothing but theatre, so how can he deny the offer? "For ye, Hand, I am anything. No matter how far, I am nothing but yours."
"And I, yours."
They try to push a finality into their next squeeze. "You should be off," Ren says, regretfully back to normal.
"Yeah, I should."
They don't move even a centimetre. Martyn shifts his gaze from Ren's face to over his shoulder, where he knows his Queen is still stood.
"Will your queen permit me a kiss before I go, oh loyal servant?"
Ren tries not to be too eagre, so he bites at his cheek and picks up on the new character he thinks Martyn wants to play, "You joke. Like you say, I am loyal. And you are her enemy."
Martyn leans in a little over the fence, "And if her eyes are tilted to the clouds? The dirt? What then?"
Ren leans too, "Then you are temptress' servant. Wicked and corrupt."
"And you the corrupted, then."
"For you? Yes, it seems so."
Martyn almost giggles, eyes crinkled. Ren swoops down to press their lips together. Quick and simple and familiar, but the press is hard, and it says all the things they still haven't quite reached yet. When they pull apart, their hands also follow.
"I'll see you, Ren."
"I hope so, Martyn."
And Ren stands there like a love-struck fool as Martyn turns his back and heads down the path he came from, a painful smile on his cheeks.
He barely notices the scuff of dirt at his feet until Lizzie speaks, looking out down the path from next to him, "I didn't know you two were close."
Ren tries to reign in all that romantic joy, "We were. Back in the other game."
Lizzie pauses, quiet, before tilting her head to look Ren in the eyes, "It wont be an issue, right?"
"No. Was it for you?"
Lizzie's face hardens so quickly and suddenly.
Ren backtracks just as quick, "I'm sorry. I meant.. we both know how these games go. Almost everyone does. There's no hard feelings, its just how it goes."
She nods, still a little tense at the shoulders, "I hope you find each other."
"Me too."