Chapter Text
Toshinoris eyes opened, his skinny body wrapped in warmth and light itself, a soft voice soothing him, asking him to stay still. To wake up.
No, I take it back.
This voice was not soft, but it was recognisable, it was filled with fear and rage, heartbreak and terror. It was someone who had never once raised his voice to Toshinori like this before. Shouta, begging him, screaming, crying, out of breath.
Toshinori forced his eyes open, but there was no Shouta. No crying man, no anger or fear. Just Toshinori.
He wasn't sure where he was. It was…indescribable. Light and dark at the same time—physically impossible and yet, it was right in front of his eyes.
He turned around in the Bright space, looking around for his Partner.
The memories of him slowly dissipating until Toshinori was wondering who he was trying to find.
He saw a glimpse behind him, long blond hair, he turned quickly, trying to see who had joined him. Only there was no one, the he saw it again, this time some yellow gloves and a white cape. The again, someone whispering in his ear, telling him to turn around. They played this game for what felt like forever, Toshinori turning and turning only to find the vast emptiness of the void.
He turned once more when he heard the voice of a woman he knew, he recognised but could not place, until he saw her face.
He smiled and ran into her arms, nuzzling his face into her shoulder, no fear, or anger, no grief. Just him and nana Shimura.
"I missed you." He said, no hesitation, she didn't talk back, didn't need to. He already knew, just her presence here was enough. Slowly the sat down in the void, it felt more like floating. He curled up into her body, letting himself rest even if just for a moment. He was missing something, something big.
Then she suddenly shifted out from under him, letting another person take her place. The long blond hair reminding him of his mother, as he looked up and saw her face. He pressed further into her, his smile growing as she soothed him.
"Mum, what am i missing?" He asked quietly, the feeling wouldn't leave him, it refused.
she didn't speak for a moment, then she sighed and pressed a soft kiss into his hair,
"You don't remember?"
Toshinori looked confused for a moment, then shook his head, looking up at her for answers.
She however, stood up. She looked so disgusted, horrified by what he had said. She spat at him harshly.
"If you don't remember, you don't deserve him at all." She yelled at him, his eyes wide and scared.
He was still on the floor, laid there like an idiot. She tried to kick him but her foot make no impact, just going through his body, as if she never existed. Maybe it was him who didn't exist.
He looked up in despair, his mind racing, with guilt, with anger. How had he let himself be tricked, how had he let himself relax. He didn't deserve that.
He didn't know where he was, didn't know when it was, how long it had been, it felt like days, years. Something inside him yearned to be somewhere, with something, someone. The other part— he wasn't sure. He felt Nana's Presence, but couldn't even begin to reach that part of him—that place.
He pressed his hands into his face, feeling the tears running down his face, he reached to feel the usually calming beat of his heart. It was silent. His mothers gone, but the world around him getting darker and darker, he felt like he was falling endlessly.
His tears like himself, kept falling, and falling. Until he felt like he hit the ground, it was hard, painful yet he felt no real pain. It felt like every time he had been pushed down in his life, every injury all those painful memories into one. He sobbed quietly, desperately trying to find someone, anyone. No, not anyone. The person he was missing, whoever he was, he must be important.
Toshinori slowly got up, his shaking legs carried him across the void, his tears slowly drying as he walked, spotting something in the distance. He smiled and his legs moved faster, and faster until he was running at the figure on the ground. He grinned as he ran something about this man made him so happy to see. Something made him want nothing more than to hold him.
He rushed over to the man, without hesitation putting the others head onto his knees. He admired Aizawa for a moment. Those dark eyes that seemed so dull until just now, the long hair that spread around them. The stubble on the mans chin, the scar just under his eye. Toshinori traced each one cautiously.
He watched as Shouta—the man he didn't know, reached up and tried to press a hand into Yagi's cheek. his movements slow and wary, his red eyes and tear stained face gaining a glimpse of hope and joy, only for him to disappear, like dust in the wind, or a hallucination.
Toshinori watched where he was. Where Shouta was. That was his name right? Toshinori had thought of it, as they sat there, it was his only clear thought. HE couldn't think, he couldn't do anything but run, run towards the next one as it appeared far off in the distance. He yelled out, screaming for Shouta to turn around, to look at him.
Shouta instead kept getting further and further, never once making any movement or sound to acknowledge the man chasing him. Never once making a sound.
Toshinori kept chasing, each memory unlocking for each step, each second he spend looking at Shouta, running for him.
Yagi yelled out as it hit him slowly. The time they spend together, their students and colleagues. His none existent heartbeat stopping for a moment as he remembered.
He remembered Shouta's sweet kisses after a hard day, he remembered pressing himself into the mans arms. He remembers the scolding's he earned from his poor teaching. He remembered the gentle hands that had held his once they where safely out of view. He remembered watching Shouta train the students without hesitation.
He remembered.
Yet Shouta still would not turn around. He kept walking, no hint of worry or fear, no worry of the past or future. No hesitation. Just walking.
Toshinori kept chasing. He ran and kept running and he wouldn't stop. He would never stop.