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All Dan had wanted to do was to practice cooking something new for Phil. His boyfriend always loved trying new things, and Dan loved trying recipes from different countries and cultures, and that had led to many interesting adventures to markets where everything was in a foreign language. So, when Phil called him from his business trip to Manchester and said that he had some good news, Dan decided to learn how to fix something that they’d never had before.
He should have known that it’d go terribly, terribly wrong.
He’d been attempting a meat that was covered in a boozy sauce that would need to be lit on fire. He thought he could do a perfectly good job of containing the fire to the pan. He was sadly mistaken, and it had taken over most of the stove by the time he’d finally remembered where the fire extinguisher was.
In the end, the damage wasn’t too horrible. They’d need to repaint one of the cabinet doors, and replace one of the burners on the stove, but those damages weren’t too bad. The worst of the damages was to Phil’s favorite houseplant; a small succulent that sat next to the stove because the smell of the food makes him happy, Dan. At the time Dan had rolled his eyes at Phil’s reasoning, but he kind of wished that he’d at least made him move the plant a bit to the left. This whole thing could have been avoided had the plant only been moved a few inches to the left!
Dan was convinced that the universe hated him. It was the only reasonable explanation. He had looked all across London for the perfect replacement for Phil’s house plant. The problem was that there was no perfect replacement for Phil’s favorite house plant. He should have known, really. How could he possibly find a small succulent that resembled a bulbasaur; it had to have been one-of-a-kind. No matter how much the house plants annoyed him, Dan didn’t want to see a sad or disappointed look on his boyfriend’s face. He’d just have to get him another plant, and hope that Phil forgave him.
After looking through several florist shops, Dan finally found one that looked promising. The woman behind the counter was lovely, and listened to his story with an open ear. She introduced herself as Louise, and was meticulous about helping him pick the perfect plant for Phil. It was here that he encountered his second problem; he didn’t think just one plant was going to be enough. Thankfully, the shop had delivery, because he’d bought more house plants than he probably should have.
He rushed home to make sure he was there before the delivery men, and cleared space for all the plants to go. He only hoped that the house plants would make up for the one he’d set ablaze.
Phil thought that it felt so strange to be equal parts excited and exhausted. He couldn’t get the key in the lock of the door quickly enough; half of the reason was that he was so excited to tell Dan the good news about his pitch during the meeting at the radio station, and the other half was that he was so completely exhausted, and he didn’t think he could wait any longer to just fall into bed and cuddle his boyfriend.
He was trying to think of how he could simultaneously cuddle Dan, while eating dinner, and sleeping at the same time when he opened the door to his apartment to be greeted by a gigantic green fern. Phil smiled a bit; Dan must have gotten him the fern as a gift. That made Phil wonder, though, what Dan had done to warrant such a gift (because Dan never willingly bought house plants unless he’d accidentally messed something up.)
Phil wandered towards the lounge as best he could without tripping over the countless other plants that he found on the way there. There were so many plants, in all shapes and sizes. There were petals everywhere, Phil guessed they were from incompetent movers who didn’t know that they had to be careful not to shake the plants around too much.
Everywhere he looked, he saw another plant. There were ferns, and alocasia plants, and orchids, and more roses than Phil would care to look at. When Phil finally made it into the lounge itself, he saw Dan trying to position a plant on the already-full windowsill.
“Dan?” he asked, which caused the other man to let out an undignified squeak as he whipped around to face him.
“Phil!” he said. “Y-you’re home early…”
Phil checked his watch. “Actually, I’m a bit late. I was worried you’d made dinner and I’d let it get cold because the traffic was so bad,” he said.
Phil watched as Dan checked his watch, and his eyes widened. “Oh. I didn’t realize it was that late.”
“Dan,” Phil began, “When did move to Kew Gardens?”
Phil could practically see the wheels turning in Dan’s mind, and figured that he must be thinking of a way to explain all of the plants. Eventually, Dan just started spewing a very long, drawn-out explanation that started with the tragic barbeque of his favorite succulent plant, and ended with Dan buying Phil every plant under the sun to substitute it. All Phil needed to hear was the word fire and he was immediately checking his boyfriend for any possible injuries.
“You’re not upset about the bulbasaur plant?” Dan asked.
“Well I’m not thrilled that it got burned up,” Phil began, “but I’m much more relieved that you’re okay! Please, promise me you won’t try to flambé anything again. You could have been seriously hurt!”
Dan sighed and finally let a small, but genuine, smile overtake his face. “I’m just happy you’re not crying about your plant.”
Phil looked around the room. “Well, we wouldn’t want these plants to think I’m not happy to have them.”
Dan pulled Phil into a hug, and listened patiently as Phil went through naming each plant, and sorting them into each room of the house. In the end, all of their friends ended up getting at least two houseplants, but at least Phil was happy.