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The city of Blüdhaven vibrated with life below them. The sounds of a city that never sleeps due to it's deeply troubling issues and those of citizens simply trying to get through life without losing it, roar loud enough even from where they sat. The glow of life that lived within the corrupted city lit up the corner of darkness that they kept to themselves. From business billboards, neon restaurant and casino signs that stayed open for anyone roaming the streets during the late hours, from the apartment skyscrapers with lit up windows that could almost be mistaken for the stars that sat above them. Blüdhaven was truly thriving with life.
She was a beauty.
Yes, Blüdhaven came with it's dark side - the dark alleyways and corners of the city flooding with poverty and crime. The raw and gritty life of those just trying to get by - those that Dick would do anything to protect. The mobs, the corrupt politicians and police men, the straggler robber waiting to pounce at anyone vulnerable enough; anything bad, and Blüdhaven could have it. But it also had it's good side and it's all thanks to Nightwing.
Nightwing's mission to reform the city of Blüdhaven was one he planned to fulfill even if it would take a whole lifetime to do it. Using his fists to fight for another chance of a better city, for every citizen that needs hope to keep moving forward, to be able to call this place a home.
As proud and determined as he is though, the weight of Blüdhaven's corruption doesn't fail to drag him down. Can you blame him? He has his inner turmoils, his doubts, and they will always be there and more than often they drown out his other more stable thoughts. Luckily for him, his isn't alone in this city. More than often, his siblings join him in the fight for Blüdhaven's safety. If it weren't for them, he's sure he'd have lost himself completely and gone down the dark path that he's taken oath with his father to never step foot on.
Take tonight for example, he wasn't alone for tonight's fight - his best friend, Wally West, stood by his side every second of his patrol. Of their patrol. It's not uncommon of Wally to join Dick in Blüdhaven with or what the mask. The citizens of Blüdhaven were familiar of the dynamic duo that is, Nightwing and The Flash. And if Dick wasn't mistaken, Wally seems to be spending more time with him in Blüdhaven nowadays rather than in Keystone City. He's been glued to his side, which isn't something that Dick has a problem with. After all, they were in the Teen Titans together, he's gotten use to Wally following him around like a puppy.
But now, Wally's inseparability was…different. The not so subtle offer of walking - yes, walking, not super-speeding - Dick back to his place to make sure he gets there safe or the surprise visits to his place with Dick's go-to order from his favorite take-out place in one hand, a stack of DVDs to binge in the other, along with a lingering gaze that would ignite a fire upon Dick's skin. The same gaze he's tried to ignore for years, no matter if it pained him.
Even at the moment he could feel his best friend's gaze on him and it took everything in him to stop him from meeting his gaze and instead focuses on the city ahead of them. They were together, sitting on the edge of a building hidden away in their own secret corner of Blüdhaven. It was that time of the night where the crimes of the city were surprisingly put on a pause and they were safe to take a break. Which was exactly what the pair decided to do.
It was a spot they found themselves coming back to more than often during the quiet hours of their patrols together. A place where they didn't have to keep the vigilante mask on, where they were free to be themselves and bask in the beauty of the city. Legs dangling over the edge, thighs practically touching, the hum of the city filling the silence whenever the conversation died down. They could stay there for the rest of their lives if they truly could.
Dick exhaled softly, his gaze falling upon the twinkling lights of the city. "I could never trade this place for Gotham."
"Uh-oh, don't let Batman hear you say that."
"Oh, he already knows." Dick chuckled under his breath. It was true. Gotham may have been his first safeguard, the place he was brought up and learned everything about himself and the life he was apart of. It was like a hometown to him, a troubling one that is, but it could never beat what Blüdhaven became to him.
"Oh yeah? What does the Bat say about it then?" Wally asks, his thigh nudging Dick's own.
"He doesn't blame me for finding beauty within this city. He says the same about Gotham actually." Dick replies. Wally is now looking ahead, his eyes scanning the towering buildings ahead of them. Quickly, Dick steals a glance at him, his eyes following every edge and line of the ginger's side profile. He could proper study the freckles and crimson flush that littered over Wally's face now that his mask was off.
"She is beautiful." Wally speaks up causing Dick to quickly tear his gaze away from him and back to the scenery. "She still has her problems though…"
Dick gasps, far too dramatically and he nudges Wally's thigh back with his own and with more force than when Wally first did. "Hey everyone has their problems. I'm currently trying to fix her's, you know?"
Wally laughs at him. "I've told you a million times man, you can't fix everyone - that includes Blüdhaven."
"Actually, you can fix everyone, including Blüdhaven," Dick defends back, a playful tone in his voice. "Now, Gotham, that's a different story, but Blüdhaven? I can fix her, just watch man!"
"Oh sure, save her while you wear those tight spandex of yours. I'm sure Blüdhaven is very appreciative." Wally teased, a smirk spreading across his face.
"It's the thought that counts. Plus, you have to admit, the spandex makes my ass look phenomenal." The laugh that escapes Wally's mouth is louder than the one before, and it causes the smile on Dick's face to grow brighter, practically taking up his whole face at that point.
"You're right about that, but your ass isn't going to get rid of her issues."
Dick shoves him playfully by his shoulder this time. He's staring at Wally now, body half turned towards him. "Come on, you wouldn't say the same thing about Keystone right?"
"Hmm…" Wally pulls a face that makes it appear like he's deeply thinking about his answer and it's exaggeration, he doesn't fail to make Dick laugh at his dorkiness. He brings his hand up to his chin and that gets Dick to shove him again for it.
"I'm being serious!"
"Okay, okay, sorry," The red head brings his hands up in surrender, the sly smile still there. "Maybe, I don't know."
Dick's eyebrows knit together. "You don't know? It's your city Walls."
"I am aware."
"You don't find beauty in it?" Dick questions him. It's a silly question really, but he doesn't fail to notice the way Wally's shoulder ease up, as if tension were beginning to build within his muscles.
"No, yeah, of course I do! It's my city! Of course I find beauty in it." He answers a bit too quickly. "I just…"
"You just what?" Dick keeps trying to push him for a proper answer. Wally is now beginning to fiddle with his fingers in his lap and if Dick wasn't mistaken, he could see them slightly begin to vibrate.
"It just - it doesn't really feel like home anymore because...I don't know - just forget it." Wally mumbles, his gaze falling down to the pavement miles underneath them. But Dick won't take that as an answer.
"Aw come on man! You were getting somewhere, just tell me!"
Wally shakes his head. "Nah, it's okay."
"Wally," Dick practically begs, dragging his name out. "Tell me."
"I said to forget it."
"I opened up to you, it's only fair if you do the same."
"Dick, forget it."
"No way, I won't forget it. I won't let you leave until you tell me."
"Come on man, please."
"No."
"Dick-"
"Nope, you have to tell me-"
"It doesn't feel like home because it doesn't have you!"
The silence that falls over them is so deafening that it somehow blocks out the city noises around them. The weight of Wally's answer doesn't hit Dick immediately. At first, he's just…simply confused.
His brows furrow as his brain scrambles to make sense of Wally's answer. His mind practically working twice as much to dissect every word of it. They sit around him, fragile yet carrying more meaning than Dick could understand at the moment. Although he replays the words over and over in his mind, searching for the meaning, he's suddenly stumped by them.
What does Wally mean?
It doesn't feel like home…because it doesn't have you…No, that doesn't make sense, it just simply can't make sense to Dick.
Dick tears his gaze away from Wally and back to the city stretched out ahead of them. His city - Blüdhaven - with it's gritty, sharp edges and issues that can be too much for him alone, it's still and will always be his city. The place that chose him. He blinks once, twice, letting the words sink deep within him even if they began to root themselves into dangerous territory.
Dick belongs to Blüdhaven just as Wally belongs to Keystone City. Wally knows that, surely he does. That's just how it is. How it’s always been. There are rules to be followed, rules that every hero and vigilante knows, spoken or not. You protect your city. You bleed for it. You learn its rhythms and secrets. You don’t just step into another hero’s territory and call it home like it’s nothing. You don’t blur those lines. You just don't.
So why would Wally say something like that?
Why would he talk about his city—about his home—like it’s missing something fundamental simply because Dick isn’t there fighting beside him? Why would he say it so softly, so plainly, like it’s the most obvious truth in the world? Dick tries to swallow back the sudden dryness in his throat but finds himself struggling. He presses his tongue against the roof of his mouth, forcing another breath in through his nose.
He tells himself it's probably the height from where they are sitting, that there's nothing more to it. But he can't fool himself. It's no use once the sudden realization of what's behind Wally's simple yet soft and unguarded word begins to do to him. The way they tighten his chest, the way something yet terrifying begins to bloom just beneath his ribs.
It can't mean anything, his mind tries to convince him. He just misses having backup. Yeah! That has to be it! Wally is lonely - hell, Dick gets lonely more than often! That’s all. That has to be all. Yet, he knows that it's a lie. And once his mind accepts it, something in him cracks as he lets himself follow the thought, the one he's refuses to acknowledge, through to its end.
Wally didn’t say the city feels empty. He said it doesn’t feel like home. Wally wasn’t talking about cities at all.
Dick turns back. Wally is already looking at him.
It sends a shiver across Dick’s body. Goosebumps break out along his arms and spine, like his body knows something his mind is still scrambling to accept. His stomach drops hard and his heart begins to hammer against his ribcage, loud enough he’s sure Wally must hear it.
"No…"
The look of pain that flashed across Wally's face makes Dick's want to curse at himself for being the reason behind it. The air around them becomes too thin, and he finds himself having a harder time to breath. "It's no use Dick, we've got to have it out-"
"No, Wally." Dick is quick to rise to his feet now, he turns away from where they were, his back now to his city and his best friend.
"Dick, please." Wally pleads as he pushes himself up from the ledge and follows after Dick. "Please." He tries again, the tone of his voice paining Dick as he walks further away from him.
"No, it's not fair."
"What's not fair Dick?"
"Wally stop-"
"No, tell me, what's not fair?" The question lands softly but it bruises Dick anyway. He doesn't notice that he's biting away at his bottom lip, the emotions from the moment completely taking over his body. He could feel Wally getting closer to him, practically feel the warmth radiating off his body. He's too close and the thought of that makes Dick want to run away.
Instead he turns to him, too quickly than anticipated since he finds himself almost crashing into Wally's chest. "This," Dick's voice is tight as he motions to the space between them. "What you said - saying such things without thinking of the damage they can bring."
Wally visibly flinches at his words, his brows furrow, but his gaze is still locked onto Dick as he shakes his head at his words. "Dick, it's not like that-"
"Then what?" Dick cuts him off. The tremble of his hands suddenly coming noticed. He doesn't miss the way Wally's hands are vibrating at his sides as well. "You're my best friend Wally. It's not fair - you're the Flash and Keystone needs you and I-" A tightness arises within his throat as his last words are said through a cracked voice. "…I can't be the reason you feel like you're missing something there while your city needs you."
"Dick," Wally takes a dangerous step closer to him. Instinctively, Wally's hands comes up to reach out to Dick but he's quick to notice and let's it drop back to his side. "It's not like that. I-I didn't mean it like that. I swear there's more to those words Dick, I swear. I need you to know that, I-" A nervous breath escapes Wally's mouth, he runs a trembling hand through his hair. It took everything in Dick to not console him, to not reach out for his hand and hope that it would ease the vibrating that he knows Wally has a hard time controlling even after years of being a meta.
Dick pushes that thought out of his mind though, and before he could speak up, Wally steps closer. His stomach sinks even deeper with the way Wally is now looking at him. It terrifies him to his core. "No, Wally…" Dick whispers, his words paining him like a thousand cuts.
Wally shakes his head once more. "Dick," He whispers his name with delicate ease. "I have loved you ever since I have known you, Dick."
Suddenly, Dick's knees threaten to give up on him as a whisper of a breath escapes past his lips. He freezes, his eyes finally meeting Wally's eyes that are brimmed with red. There's a mixture of hurt and longing in them that it was suffocating.
If it could be even more possible, Wally takes another step closer. They're toe to toe at this point, chests barely centimeters apart. Wally's whole body is vibrating now, the vibrations so strong that Dick could practically feel the vibrations against his own body.
"I couldn't help it," Wally whispers softly, despite his trembles. "And I tried to ignore it. I tired everything to ignore it but the moment that you walked into the JL headquarters as Robin and smiled at me, I knew I was done for." He lets a breath out. "And I tried to be your best friend, Dick, but it's hurting me more and more with every passing day and I can't go on like this any longer if I keep staying quiet about it."
"I figured you loved me too at one point," Wally continues, voice cracking despite his best effort. "But something deep within told me otherwise and that's okay - I can't force you to love me, I can't force you to give me anything in return." Dick's heart cracks from the sound of his voice. "You don't owe me anything Dick."
Dick is frozen in his spot. He's faced all sorts of criminally insane or godlike villains, but nothing could have prepared him for this moment. "I can't Wally." Dick exhaled, his voice cracking like broken glass. Wally's gaze drops immediately, the redness of his eyes standing even out more.
"You can't…" With that, Wally shut his eyes for a moment, his breaths coming out short, his body's vibrations easing just a fraction as if his body is resigning itself to something it already knew was coming.
Dick wants to run, he wants to jump off that very same building they're standing on and refuse to use his grappling hook from saving himself.
If someone would have told him a week ago that his best friend would confess his love to him, he would have laughed right in their face. His best friend? Wally West, The Flash. In love with him?
And yet, the man Dick has been in love with for years is standing right in front of him, confessing his love to him? There's no way.
All those past years of shoving those feelings aside, of the rehearsed excuses - his duty as a vigilante, his family, the timing, the fear, their cities - that he's used to ignore these feelings, to drown in guilt for allowing himself to even feel such a way towards his best friend in the first place, evaporate from from his mind the moment Dick looks back at Wally.
The man he's loved and yearned for crumbling away in front of him, eyes brimmed with tears threatening to spill, body practically betraying him, all because of Dick's fear of what loving him can break. His fear of how this could damage their life. How it could affect their friendship. Damage to all those years growing up together, fighting side by side, surviving the darkest times shoulder to shoulder.
Yet suddenly, a image flashes through his mind. A life with the both of them, happy as ever, loving one another freely, without the restraints and the worry of what could go wrong. He's pictured them together in such a way many times before, but now that he's here with the opportunity to stop that fear from continuing to control his life - the life that they can share together - he doesn't want to keep running.
Without overthinking his next move, Dick's hand comes up to Wally's face, the coldness of his palm varying against the warmth of the other's cheek. Wally jumps from his touch, the vibrations of his body coming to a sudden halt. "You don't think I haven't felt the same way too?"
"What?" Wally whispers quietly, his voice hoarse.
Dick swallows back the lump that formed in his throat. "I've loved you for years Wally West." Dick's other hand curls into a fist by his side as he finally fights what's been holding him back after all these years. "At first, I saw it as a silly crush, but it evolved into something bigger, something I was too afraid to acknowledge and pushing it aside seemed easier than risking us."
"You don't have to be afraid anymore, you won't be risking anything between us."
"How are you sure about that?" Dick demands as gently as he could.
Wally's hand comes up to wrap around Dick's wrist. "Because it's you. Because we've already lost each other before yet still found our way back to one another. Because even loving you in silence didn't break us then and it won't now."
Dick couldn't control the breathy chuckle that came out of him. "You make it sound so easy."
"It's not going to be easy, but I'll make sure it'll be worth it." Wally admits, his words sounding like a lifelong vow.
Dick's mind is trying to convince him it's not possible, trying to tell him that Wally's promise could mean nothing and it's simply going to affect what they have already in the end. Yet, his heart tells him otherwise. That giving in for once, that allowing himself to trust the process will pay off in the long run.
Dick heavily sighs, "If were going to do this - I can't have you abandoning your city for this. It's not fair, it puts a lot of weight on my shoulders."
"I know, and I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to come out that way. I just wanted to be honest with you for once." Wally mumbles.
"And I'm happy you were, but you can't give up on your city because I'm not apart of it. I know better than anyone that Keystone is your heart and soul." Dick swallows thickly. "You can't give up on your city, not while people need you."
"But I need you."
"And I need you just the same, but Keystone city needs you too. And I won't let you abandon it because of me - it would ruin me."
Wally looks at him, his eyes filled with an emotion Dick can't quite pinpoint. Nevertheless, he responds with a nod and the hold he has on Dick's wrist tightens in a comforting manner. "Okay."
He exhales for probably the hundred time that night and allows himself to bring himself closer to Wally, giving the other a chance to move if he wanted to. He doesn't. Instead, Wally leans in, resting his forehead against Dick's, eyes fluttering shut as a rush of relief goes through him. His hands come up to rest on Dick's waist, his body starting to vibrate once more, not from being nervous, but from how close together they are.
Dick lets his hand sneak their way to rest over Wally's shoulders. Suddenly, he laughs softly, the corners of his mouth forming in a smile. "God, I can't believe after all these years…we're so stupid."
A contagious smile forms on Wally's face, a chuckle escaping through his lips. "Worth it."
Dick is the first to pull away, but their bodies are still flushed against the other. "So, we're really going to do this?" He asks, as his fingers slip behind Wally's neck and begins to toy with loose strands of Wally's hair.
"Only if you want to..."
"Of course I want to," Dick chuckles under his breath. "There isn't anything more that I want."
Wally grins so bright that Dick is certain his cheeks have to be hurting. The hold he has around Dick's waist tighten. Dick's gaze is soft, filled with a quiet tenderness that needs no words for Wally to understand. It made a warmth spread through his chest, his heart not failing to skip a beat. His whole body was tremulous with excitement, his vibrations at an ease but still noticeable. After all these years, filled with long nights yearning for his love, for something more, Wally's now questioning how he had even manage to hold himself back - it truly surprises him.
They don't kiss. Not yet at least. They both bask in the moment, for once acknowledging the countless years of yearning for one another in secrecy. Below them, Blüdhaven kept breathing, the recklessness and troubles not failing to go away completely any time soon, but they were okay with ignoring it just this one time. With Dick resting his forehead back against Wally's, letting the hum of Blüdhaven and the steady breaths coming from Wally ground him in the present - their present - deep down, he knew they were going to be okay.
Whatever came next, good or bad, Dick would face it instead of running. He wouldn't let the fear decide the outcome anymore - he's going to face it. And this time, it wasn't just going to be him and his city, this time he wouldn't be alone.
Neither of them would.