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One day, Caine had given the circus members a day off from adventures since, in his words, he was cooking up a very amazing one and it was taking longer than expected.
As per usual, this meant Kinger opted to hide out in his impenetrable fortress. It was both his safe space and a place that brought forth many bittersweet memories.
Barely a few minutes into entering, he began to wonder if this had really been a good idea.
Almost instantly, he became bombarded with memories…and not the good kind.
He started to remember his last few days with his wife.
Queenie had been acting a bit strange lately, and Kinger had no idea why. In the past, she would've been overjoyed at the thought of spending some time in the fort and reading books about insects or having adventures where they got to catch bugs.
Now, though?
She just seemed so…listless. As if she couldn't even scrounge up the energy to pretend to be excited about something.
Kinger had immediately begun to worry. He had hardly ever seen his wife like this before. Even when she did seem down, she usually bounced back fairly quickly.
But she had been depressed this entire month, and Kinger was growing worried as to what he could do.
He tried everything.
He cooked her favorite meals, he read bug books with her, he tried to get her to come outside even for a little bit so she wasn't cooped up in her room all day, he tried to get her to talk to him about what was wrong.
Nothing ever worked.
And then on the worst day of all, he discovered something dreadful.
He had begged Caine to create another adventure centered around insects in the hopes that it would get Queenie to leave the isolation of her room for a bit and spend some time with him.
Caine had agreed, and was ready to send everyone on the adventure.
Kinger had headed to his wife’s room and gently knocked.
“Honey? Caine created an adventure about insects. Do you want to go on it with me?” he asked.
He paused and waited for an answer.
But he was met only with silence.
“Queenie?” Kinger gazed at the door.
No answer.
“Okay, I'm coming in,” he said as he grasped the doorknob and pushed open the door.
Instantly, he wished he hadn't.
He was met with the sight of not the wife that he knew and loved, but a large, hulking black blob full of multiple eyes blinking and looking in all different directions.
He had no idea what this was. Could it be Queenie? Or was it some new creature that Caine had concocted?
He looked around, checking to see if maybe his wife was somewhere else in the room.
This unknown creature couldn't be her…right?
But the more he looked around, the more he grew convinced that his worst fear had come true and that blob was his wife.
Then it began to click.
Kinger suddenly remembered his and Queenie’s first day in the circus and how Caine had gone over a few things, including abstraction.
If Kinger's memories about the features of abstraction were right, then that was exactly what had occurred.
The black blob appearance? Right there.
The multiple eyes? Check.
The way that the abstraction was now running after Kinger?
Wait, what?
Kinger began to run, feeling bad as he did so but also not wanting to know what might happen if he came in contact with an abstraction.
Eventually, the abstraction and chess piece tore through the main area.
Caine noticed. “WOAH, WHAT HAPPENED HERE? SOMEONE ABSTRACTED?”
“...Looks like it,” Kinger admitted. “I went to go get my wife for the adventure, but…that's what I found.”
Caine nodded, looking as sympathetic as a pair of teeth with eyes in them could look. “I SEE. WELL, TIME TO GO DOWN TO THE CELLAR.” He reached for the lever.
“Wait!” Kinger protested.
“HMM?” Caine looked down at the chess piece.
“Could I…just have a few more minutes with her?” Kinger requested. “I just don't want our last interaction to be her chasing me and me running away from her.”
Caine nodded, once again looking empathetic. “OF COURSE.”
“Thank you.” Kinger nodded up at the ringmaster, then turned to the abstraction that used to be his beloved wife. “Hey.”
Abstracted Queenie paused looked over at the chess piece, recognizing the look and voice.
“Come with me,” Kinger instructed, waving his hand.
Queenie began to follow.
Kinger entered the pillow fort.
The abstraction followed, entering next. Almost immediately, any hint of destruction and running rampant seemed to drain out of her. She began to look and feel much calmer.
Kinger shut the door and looked up at her, still seeing his wife plain as day amidst all the eyes.
Queenie looked down at him.
Kinger sighed, beginning to try and piece together what he wanted to say. He knew he only had a few minutes before Caine was going to come and put Queenie down in the cellar that he had designated for the members who lost themselves to abstraction.
He looked up at Queenie, fighting to keep the expression of pain off his face. He didn't want his wife’s last time seeing him to be one where he looked sad. “Queenie…I'm sorry.”
The abstraction tilted her head.
“I'm sorry I didn't notice all the signs until now. I'm sorry I wasn't enough to keep this from happening to you. Maybe if I'd done something more, you would still be yourself.” Kinger averted his gaze.
Queenie crawled a bit closer to him.
He looked up at her.
Queenie nudged what was presumably her head against Kinger as if to assure him that this wasn't his fault.
His eyes crinkled up to indicate a smile, but they still looked sad. “I just…I wish there was something more I could've done. You're all I have. We got trapped here together and now we can't even live out the rest of our days together? Or…if it was an option, escape together and go back to living our old lives. None of that can happen now.”
All of Queenie's eyes were fixed on Kinger, taking in his words.
Kinger sighed, continuing on even though he couldn't possibly say everything he wanted to say to her in the span of just a few minutes. “I'm sorry I couldn't stop this from happening to you. You didn't deserve to lose yourself to a fate worse than death. You deserve to still be living with everyone. With me.”
Queenie just continued to stare at her husband.
“But…” Kinger looked up at her. “I hope that even though you're not yourself anymore and you'll be someplace I can't visit you, you can remember that I love you. I always have and I always will. You’ve been my anchor in this crazy place that we can't leave. You've been my rock, the home I return to. You're the love of my life.”
Queenie gently nudged him again as if to tell him all the same things without words.
Kinger placed a hand on the abstraction’s face, softly stroking. He didn't even care that touching the abstraction that was his wife was causing some sensations of shock. It was nothing compared to the pain of knowing what would come next.
The chess piece wished more than anything that he could undo what had happened, that he could turn back time to when he and Queenie were still living their new life here and doing their best to build a home together.
It felt like both cruel irony and coming full circle that the two of them had so lovingly built this pillow fort together and added on to it every Valentine's Day only for it to be the same place where the couple had a moment together for one last time.
The two of them stayed that way until Caine floated over and knocked on the pillow door before gently pushing it open.
Kinger and Queenie looked over to see him.
Caine gave the couple a sympathetic look. “I'm sorry, but it's time.” For once, he didn't speak in his usual loud, boisterous tone. He had picked up on how this was a hard moment for both halves of the couple.
Kinger nodded reluctantly. “Okay.” He turned to Queenie again. “I'm afraid to say that this is where we part ways. But I love you and I always will, please remember that.” He gently stroked her face again.
Queenie nudged him one more time before Caine led her to the cellar and closed the door behind her as Kinger walked beside the two of them and watched despondently.
For the rest of the day, he holed himself up in the pillow fort.
That night, he found that it took him a significantly longer time than usual to fall asleep. Whenever that happened in the past, he would seek out the company of Queenie.
But he could no longer do that.
He was alone now.
Not completely, but it felt that way since his wife was no longer there with him. Instead, she was now in the cellar below everyone's feet. Just roaming, no longer herself, and likely not even aware of anything anymore.
Kinger tried to push that thought out of his mind.
He eventually fell asleep for a bit, but he didn't sleep calmly at all. He was plagued by nightmares all night, and it only continued for many more nights.
It felt like it took an eternity before he began to even feel a semblance of okay again.
Now here he stood again, in the very same pillow fort that he and Queenie had built together, had their last time in, and now Kinger resided in it alone except for the times when one of the others came to seek out some quiet and dark shelter.
It was bittersweet, to say the least.
It had been full circle in the best and worst way that one of the first things that he and Queenie did after ending up in the circus was to build the pillow fort together. And then years down the line, they shared their last moment together in that very same fort.
Kinger wished more than anything that it wasn't their last moment. He wished that they could've had so many more. He wished his queen was still with him.
His thoughts were interrupted when he heard a quiet knock at the makeshift door.
He glanced over.
The pillow got slightly pushed aside, and Pomni peeked into the fort. “Hey.”
Kinger looked over at the newest circus member. “Pomni? What brings you here?”
Pomni looked at him. “I just figured I'd come check on you. A couple of the others and I decided to hang out together, but I noticed that you left a little abruptly after Caine told us we had the day off.”
Kinger's eyes crinkled up a little, feeling touched that Pomni not only noticed but also came to check on him. “Oh, I see. Thanks.”
Pomni tilted her head, gazing at him. “Is…everything okay?”
Kinger shrugged. “It could be worse, I guess.”
“Why, what's wrong?”
“I've just been thinking about Queenie. It's been one of those days where I can't stop thinking about her. Not that I ever really stop. It's just been a bit more increased today.”
Pomni nodded sympathetically. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Kinger thought for a minute, then nodded. “I guess it wouldn't hurt. You can come in.”
Pomni entered the fort, put the pillow door back in its place, and sat next to the chess piece.
Kinger sighed, beginning to speak. “As soon as I came in here, I got hit with a flashback.”
“About what?” Pomni asked.
“My last memory with my wife.”
“Oh.” Pomni remembered the way Kinger had first told her about that memory during that hellish (pun intended) adventure.
Kinger continued on with his story, his eyes holding a wistful look to them. “It's not the best memory. But just as I told you back then, at least it's one I have control over. As much as I miss my queen, I'm happy that I at least got to spend her last moments with her before she got dumped into the cellar. She became much calmer when she was in here with me, so I guess that's something we ended up having in common. The dark being something that soothes us or makes us remember things more clearly.”
Pomni nodded, listening intently.
Kinger kept staring out into space. “I still have so many days where I wish I could just wake up and find out it was all just a nightmare and Queenie's still here.”
Pomni slightly leaned against the chess piece. “Yeah, I get that.”
Kinger glanced down at the short jester, then gently wrapped a hand around her while also making sure to keep his grip loose in case she didn't want the touch.
But she didn't pull away.
And for some reason, that warmed his heart a lot. Maybe he needed the gentle physical contact more than he thought.
Pomni glanced up at him. “I'm sorry she's not around anymore. But if it helps at all, I'm sure you were the reason she tried to stick around as long as she could.”
Kinger's eyes crinkled up again, the kind words washing over him like a wave. “Thanks, Pomni. That was all I ever wanted, to be the best I could for her.”
“And you were,” Pomni replied, sounding sure.
Kinger's eyes crinkled up a bit more to indicate his smile. “Thank you again, Pomni.” He began to feel so much better than he did earlier just from having the jester there to listen to him and offer some comfort.
“Anytime.” Pomni smiled back.
Kinger may not have his queen by his side anymore, but at least he wasn't alone. At least most of the circus members were still around.
And if he could do just one thing to keep them there as long as possible, then he would do it, no question. He didn't want to see anyone else lose themselves to the fate worse than death.