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“This is stupid” was Shadow Milk's first thought when arriving in the Vanilla Kingdom.
For all the times he'd refused Pure Vanilla's offers of friendship, there was an equal amount of times Shadow Milk had sought him out when the day was too long or the night was too lonely.
And for all the grandeur the beast conducted himself with he was certainly unused to the atmosphere of such a busy place. The spire, what was left of it anyway, was more calm than this kingdom.
It was bright and as lively as ever despite the fact the sun was far below the horizon. The population had been steadily growing, which only led to an increase in day and night time activity.
The streets were bustling and lanterns lit the night as cookies meandered about the market place and main plaza, how terribly mundane. He ought to liven up their boring lives with a little magical flare. This idea was short lived however, as entertaining as it may have seemed to Shadow Milk, he was not here due to boredom.
He flitted through the dark, his form almost completely invisible amongst the night sky and roof tops. Granted, he could just teleport straight into the former king's chambers, but there would be no fun in that. Opening a portal would most definitely be too obvious. The buffoon would likely still be awake, face buried in a stack of papers late into the night. It was awfully familiar to Shadow Milk.
It was nicer to explore his new playground anyway. It was nothing he hadn't seen before of course, but the number of times Shadow Milk had actually set foot outside the ex king’s chambers in the vanilla kingdom was quite slim.
The halls of the castle were empty at this hour, except for a few stray servants. They were easy to avoid however, Shadow Milk simply slipped into a shadow as they passed by. It was awfully pacifist for what he was used to, he didn't even bother to scare any! Well, he had more important things to attend to.
The ceilings of the halls were obnoxiously high, decorative purple carpets laced the wafer tiles. The palace was awfully gaudy, it could do with a makeover.
Slowing to a stop right outside Pure Vanilla's quarters, he took a moment to collect himself. There was little light in this wing of the castle and less servants. The hall was simply illuminated by a warm enticing glow of colour spilling out from under Vanilla's door and the moonlight from outside. It was peaceful.
Shadow Milk transformed into a black glob and slipped under the doorway. No need to knock, Pure Vanilla said he was welcome anytime! Of course, this was meant to be a stealth operation as well.
Shadow Milk did not want to hear that mushy oaf's voice at all. He wanted the company- the mere feeling of another body, not the talking that came with it.
Shadow Milk wanted to have his cake and eat it too.
Unfortunately, as usual, Shadow Milk's wish went unheard by the Gods. Faintly, he could hear humming. At least he knew his other half wasn't asleep. Tonight would be a waiting game.
Growing closer to Vanilla's bedroom door only increased the volume of the humming. The melody was soft and the notes were low. The sound reverberating in his dough- his gloobiness? It left a warm tingly feeling in his being. Ew.
Shadow Milk slipped under another door frame, the light was much dimmer in here as opposed to the other rooms. A simple lamp illuminated the space in an orange glow. He could faintly see dust catching the light as it floated around the room.
At the desk, like he had predicted, was Pure Vanilla. All that drama in the spire only to go back to his stingy room and complete the same menial tasks! It was ridiculous really. Some things never change. His staff was not near the desk- no. It was near his bed. Was his little puppet reading letters and scrolls without glasses to even aid him?
Pure Vanilla's humming had stopped. Shadow Milk quickly slipped under the bed, the eyes in his form all unblinking and locked on his other half. Pure Vanilla let out a sigh, and rolled up the scroll he was scribbling on. He closed the pot he was drawing ink out of and rested his head in his hands for a few moments, seemingly grounding himself.
Shadow Milk was a patient cookie, he had to be, but the longer he waited for Pure Vanilla to do something of interest the faster the room grew colder. Pure Vanilla, perhaps unconsciously noticing the shift in atmosphere, got up from his chair. It scraped on the ground and he winced at the sound before turning off the lamp. He stiffly walked to the door and exited his bedroom. Shadow Milk grumbled as he heard a light switch in the bathroom and water flowing in the shower.
Pure was surely oblivious to his presence. There was no way the fool would have the audacity to drag out his nightly routine like this while testing Shadow Milk's patience. While the other was gone Shadow Milk slid out from under the bed and transformed back to cookie form. The room felt empty without Pure Vanilla. Shadow Milk was quite tired of feeling emptiness everywhere he went and in everything he did. He itched for Pure Vanilla to return. He wanted to claw him back.
He did none of this, instead he floated to the ceiling and waited. His mind ran to absurd scenarios- he had nothing better to do than ruminate on his current predicament. It would honestly just be easier to leave now, instead of dealing with the possible fall out of coming here. When has Shadow Milk ever been afraid of drama? It was just all so stupid.
It felt like eternity before Vanilla returned. He was now dressed in robes suited for sleep wear. Actually, all his robes looked like sleep wear. It was embarrassing how he walked around in public like that. His long hair was still dry, he must have tied it up in the shower. The other attempted to brush it before promptly giving up after the second tangle. He didn't even tie it up for sleeping.
Pure Vanilla settled into bed and pulled the covers up to his shoulders before turning on his side and curling in on himself. His features softened as he relaxed, the worries of the day magically melted off of him. Shadow Milk could do nothing but hungrily watch as the other drifted into a deep slumber.
Slowly, very slowly, he floated down. He did not lay on the bed yet, but instead moved close to Pure Vanilla's face. His breath ruffled the blond bangs on his face. Shadow Milk noted that at least his eye bags were less prominent than before. The other's cheekbones weren't as hollow either. He scoffed. What was he doing? This didn't matter! Shadow milk grasped at his sleeves while his guts churned. This was so ridiculous.
He checked his breathing finally. It was even and slow. Right. His eyes raked over the sleeping cookie’s form one last time before deciding it was safe to move.
Shadow Milk slowly sank down onto the mattress near the pillows. The feeling of resting on a bed was slightly unusual, foreign. It's not like Shadow milk hadn't slept before, but there were better things to be doing than voluntarily becoming a corpse for a few hours. If he did sleep, it was usually passed out at a desk.
Pure Vanilla had conveniently faced away from the large section of the frankly massive bed which left plenty of space for Shadow Milk to soak up. There were also an insane number of lavish pillows that he took great pleasure in shoving onto the floor.
The bed was already much warmer than the air of the room, and it only exacerbated the want in his dough. Pure Vanilla's room was always more sickly sweet than any space Shadow Milk had been in. Maybe he was biased, maybe it was something else.
Shadow Milk didn't change his robes, only opting to remove the frills around his neck before he slipped under the covers and laid his head down on pure Vanilla's own pillow. He refastened his soul jam to his chest. Shadow Milk tucked his face into his other half's neck. Pure Vanilla's hair tickled his nose. The other was still as a rock in his sleep, the only indication of life was his soft breathing. The rhythmic rise and fall of his chest.
Shadow Milk slipped his arms around the smaller cookie's waist before carefully pulling Pure Vanilla towards himself and closing the little distance between them. He slipped a knee between his puppet’s thighs and greedily grabbed at the robes on his chest. He was so warm. Shadow Milk closed his eyes.
Pure Vanilla always said Shadow Milk was welcome anytime he felt… lonely. He didn't get lonely! He was simply here to indulge in what was rightfully his. He absentmindedly fiddled with the broach and soul jam on Pure Vanilla's chest. He didn't want to hear Pure Vanilla prattling on about stuff. He just wanted someone. And Nilly was the best option for intimacy unfortunately. It was absolutely embarrassing to have the fool indulge him while he could still tease Shadow Milk.
Even still, the fool- while awake, was so compliant with anything Shadow Milk initiated. Whether he was hesitantly strung along by a string or wandering hands grabbed at his waist, he seemed almost like a doll.
But this, it was disgustingly domestic. Shadow Milk had trouble rationalizing the whole ordeal. It wasn't loneliness. Pure Vanilla was just warm and soft, a good little heat pack. Shadow Milk flushed, it was almost a little too cozy. His hair hugged them both, the sleepy eyes blinked at Pure Vanilla, memorizing every little detail a thousand times over.
His thoughts began to slow. He'd leave sometime in the early morning. Before his other half would stir. Pure Vanilla was anything but a morning person. It was annoying in the spire. Shadow Milk would always go to visit his puppet with a new game to play only to find him still in bed. Sometimes Shadow Milk would be the first thing Pure Vanilla would see when he'd wake up.
He nuzzled his face into Pure Vanilla's neck more. Thank the witches he was out cold. His limbs became fuzzy, his hold on Pure Vanilla's Soul jam loosened. Shadow Milk's eyes in his hair closed. His own soul jam on his chest, it felt weird. Shadow Milk could just barely string together his thoughts. Whole. It felt whole.
—
Pure Vanilla was slipping in and out of consciousness. Just barely, he could feel hands caressing his stomach leisurely. They traced circles and patterns of all sorts. The hands were confident and soft. Large and cold. It felt really nice to be held. He let sleep take him again.
—
When he awoke, Pure Vanilla was warm, very warm. The blanket was thick and heavy, and there was something else big and solid wrapped around him. Another cookie was in his bed. Judging by the clingy hair splayed out on the sheets, it could be no other than Shadow Milk. Instantly, Pure Vanilla's heart rate sped up. Distantly, he could recall being caressed as he fell asleep. The touch was soft and gentle. Out of character for the beast. But then again, the other seemed to be completely asleep, which was also weird. He'd never seen Shadow Milk sleep. He'd thought to ask- but direct questions are never the route to go when it came to his other half. Rather, it was easier to obtain information through the sparse droplets of truth woven throughout Shadow Milk's web of lies.
Pure Vanilla was barely able to move his hand to wipe his eyes. Shadow Milk's breath warmed his neck. The arms around his torso were tight and the leg between his thighs was possessively keeping their bodies together. Pure Vanilla was being spooned by a sleeping Shadow Milk.
His vision was fuzzy, but Pure Vanilla could just barely see that the clock on his bed side table was in double digits. It was a miracle Shadow Milk was still in bed with him. Did his other half usually sleep in?
Was this some kind of game? It was so odd, Shadow Milk left himself vulnerable. It was unlike anything the beast had done before.
Lately, he has been more amiable. Albeit, by a very small increment. Shadow Milk still sowed chaos as per usual, but it was less destructive than previous occasions. Not every conversation had ended in a fight. Pure Vanilla had begun to look forward to their chats. It was pleasant. Shadow Milk was pleasant company when he wasn't actively trying to push him away.
Under the blanket, Pure Vanilla moved his hands to the arms wrapped around him. Shadow Milk's hands were bigger and colder. Pure Vanilla smiled. He gently rubbed Shadow Milk's palms and fingers. His dough was softer than pure Vanilla's, he could feel that for certain now.
Suddenly, the leg between his thighs shifted up, closer to Pure Vanilla's stomach. Pure Vanilla's back was already flushed with Shadow Milk's body. It was startlingly comfortable, nothing like the downright possessive hold Shadow Milk would grab him with sometimes. Like this, he could feel the rise and fall of Shadow Milk's chest. It was almost lulling him back to sleep. It was nice.
He heard a slight grumble from the cookie behind him. The inky hair spread across his body began to shift slightly and rustle his night robe.
“Shadow Milk?” Pure Vanilla murmured.
Nothing. No acknowledgement.
Pure Vanilla gave Shadow Milk's hand a light squeeze before he tried to move. Immediately, the hold on him tightened. The hands around his waist were firm. He pressed his face into Pure Vanilla's neck more. Shadow Milk's leg moved again.
Gently, Pure Vanilla brought one of Shadow Milk's hands to his lips, and pressed a kiss against it. “Shadow Milk, I'm going to get breakfast. I'll return to you shortly.” Pure Vanilla mumbled against his skin.
The arm around his waist loosened. “Thank you” Pure Vanilla whispered.
Before leaving the room, he took one last glance at Shadow milk. His limp form in bed, curled up like a big cat. His head faced away from Pure Vanilla. He would likely be gone when he returns. Pure Vanilla sighed and closed the door.
—
Pure Vanilla was gone- he’d probably be back soon. And Shadow Milk had shifted over to the middle of the bed to soak up the warmth his other half left behind. The weighted blanket Pure Vanilla had placed over him was magical. Shadow Milk was sinking into the mattress, and resigning to his fate.
It was tiring, to fight against comfort for so long. When was the last time he slept? Shadow Milk opened his eyes only to immediately shut them- ugh, light.
With what little energy he had left, his finger twitched and the curtains to the balcony flew closed with a flare of magic. Ah. Much better.
Without bright rays shining in his eyes, thinking became slightly easier. However, the room grew colder. If only a certain fool was here. No. He wanted to leave. Shadow Milk did not want to talk to Pure Vanilla. He didn't want to hear his voice.
He sighed. The bed was so comfy, and he was tired. Shadow Milk nestled his face into the pillow more. He was crashing, finally his body was catching up to the sleep it desperately needed. Maybe coming here wasn't a good idea. Pure Vanilla had trapped him in a bed of comfort.
As if summoned, Shadow Milk heard the door click open. He closed the eyes in his hair and pretended to be asleep. It was annoying, having to limit his vision just to keep up an act.
It was very dark in the room. Pure Vanilla stumbled over the carpet to the bed, with a plate in his hands. He sat down and placed the plate on his stomach. He turned a small lamp on. Shadow Milk could not see him due to facing the edge of the bed, he was only able to feel his other half as he got comfy and brushed up beside him in bed.
“I brought some blueberry muffins, you're free to have some if you want” Pure Vanilla stated.
Hah. If Shadow Milk wanted his muffins he would have taken them! He did not need to be given permission. He tightened his hold on the blanket around him. Stupid cookie.
Pure Vanilla pulled a book from his night stand and began to read in the dim light. He was almost certain the other wasn't using a pair of glasses. This gnat was going to give himself a headache. Ugh. Did he even have a pair? He huffed.
“Are you alright?” Pure Vanilla questioned. Right… he was supposed to be asleep. He didn't answer him. It was disgusting how he used that tone. As if he cared. It was all a lie anyway! Who would ever actually care about him?
Minutes passed, Pure Vanilla absentmindedly munched on blueberry muffins. The bed was warm. Shadow Milk felt drowsy again. He couldn't leave now. Although, a viable option was pretending to wake up and act horrified- but then he'd have to acknowledge this. There was no way he could just ignore the fact Shadow Milk had snuck into bed with Pure Vanilla.
He held back a sigh. The other cookie was so focused on his book. What could possibly be more interesting than him? He was so content to yap his ear off on the regular but now he was just being ignored.
Shadow Milk smiled. The lamp flickered and the room went dark. Pure Vanilla had an inclination it was Shadow Milk's doing but didn't press. Instead, he grabbed the plate and put it on the nightstand before flicking the lamp back on.
A very short amount of time passed before the light switched off again. Pure Vanilla moved- only this time, Shadow Milk's hair was wrapped around his wrist.
Pure Vanilla paused. Shadow Milk was a lonely creature. He'd sought him out before, but things had never ended up like this. He couldn't recall the other saying a single word this entire encounter. It was almost as if he didn't want to voice his thoughts, or his wants. Pure Vanilla had made it clear nothing was off limits! He'd said if he was ever lonely, Shadow Milk could come to him. If he wanted affection, Pure Vanilla would give it to him.
So, against the strain of the tendrils, Pure Vanilla placed a hand on Shadow Milk's head and let his fingers scrunch into the hair. Instantly, the grip around his wrist disappeared. He tested the waters and simply moved his fingers around, he scratched at his scalp here and there.
The lamp flicked back on without either of them lifting a muscle. Pure Vanilla opened his book and continued playing with Shadow Milk's hair as he read. It was nice. It was domestic. He could almost pretend nothing bad had ever happened. That he'd never been wronged. He sighed and closed his eyes. Pure Vanilla couldn't afford to mess things up with Shadow Milk now. Any wrong word and he would snap. So he did what he'd always done, and carried on for the sake of another.
However, it was less lonely with Shadow Milk here. In many ways the other had helped him. He'd learned a thing or two from deceit. They completed each other. Chaos and calm, light and dark. It was impossible for one to exist without the other, Shadow Milk was the only person who understood him. It was both a blessing and a curse.
Pure Vanilla opened his eyes. The other cookie’s breathing was mellowed out now. Shallow and slow. He'd probably fallen asleep again. He was covered head to toe by the blanket. The only bit of Shadow Milk he could actually see was his fluffy head of hair.
Pure Vanilla turned to the bedside table to place the book down, almost immediately, Shadow Milk moved. It startled Pure Vanilla, the other appeared to be completely asleep moments ago. But Shadow Milk didn't do much. He took the opportunity to roll over and smush his head into the side of Pure Vanilla's ribs. He could barely see his face, Shadow Milk had purposely hidden it.
A dopey smile found its way to Pure Vanilla's face. He couldn't believe this. Shadow Milk actually felt comfortable enough to be vulnerable.
Pure Vanilla pushed himself further below the blanket with Shadow Milk and turned on his side to face him. He heard the other inhale sharply. He slipped an arm around the other cookie. Pure Vanilla began to trace slow motions on his back. Then he slipped his other arm around Shadow Milk's waist.
The other cookie was larger than him, so Pure Vanilla shuffled up so Shadow Milk was facing his chest. He hugged him.
It was nice and warm. No responsibilities stole Pure Vanilla's attention today. He rarely had a day off, and it was nice to have his undivided attention. Shadow Milk was expecting a conversation to happen, but the longer things went on the less likely that seemed. Shadow Milk certainly wasn't going to take the initiative to talk, and Pure Vanilla didn't want to disturb the fragile peace.
Pure Vanilla's hands were methodical, warm, and tender. Everything he didn't deserve. He selfishly gave in to desire. Shadow Milk exhaled, long and heavy.
Eventually, he felt darkness gnaw at him. Shadow Milk fell asleep again in Pure Vanilla's arms. He was comfortable, warm, and safe.