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Ryan was leaning up against one of the thick trees on campus. His camera held steady in his hands as he looked through the viewfinder, desperately searching for something to capture. He froze up when he finally came across a certain person, someone who had become a frequent victim of Ryan's photography as of late.
Ryan knew it was incredibly creepy, the fact that he was taking photos of some random guy, he's never talked to. And the fact that he's done this many times now. He couldn't help himself though, he was too nervous to introduce himself and the boy looked like heaven.
Ryan snapped a few shots, zooming in and out a couple of times on his target. Ryan continued to track the boy with his camera. By this point he had stopped taking photos, instead just watching him. It was way beyond creepy, not just crossing, but trampling the line of being a decent person. But the way the boy's fingers danced along the fret of the guitar in his hands had Ryan's face flushed, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth.
It's not like Brendon was doing anything arousing… it was just how pretty he looked, so focused on the song he was playing. The sun was shining down on him just right, his messy hair framed his face. For a moment Ryan had considered walking near him, simply passing by him and his friends just to hear him singing. But Ryan dreaded the thought of being anywhere near him, Ryan believed he would taint Brendon’s perfection if he so much as breathed the same air as him.
Ryan groaned as he finally pulled the camera away from his face, letting the strap drop around his neck. His fingers shaking slightly as he rubbed his face, his hands were only ever steady when he had a camera or a paint brush in them. maybe that's why he never made any friends, he was too awkward and could never hold a conversation to save his life. His only friend in college had been Spencer, but they had been friends for years, and he was used to Ryan's creepy, antisocial behaviour. He didn't want to risk scaring off his Muse.
Ryan had finally, with a lot of internal struggle, left the courtyard. Trudging his way back up to his dorm, he had a paper he needed to finish by tonight and he knew if he hadn't left now, he would sit there and stare at Brendon all day. And so, he was hunched over his desk, typing away in his laptop about some stupid art theory he could care less about, Ryan always scoffed at the rules of art, creativity had no rules (and it totally had nothing to due with the fact he could never memorise them)
Just as he was finishing off the paper, Spencer had come into their dorm. Because of course they shared a dorm, Ryan would refuse to ever share a living space with anyone else. Spencer's hands gripped Ryan's shoulders pulling him backwards to sit upright, muttering about ‘shrimp spine’.
“Hey so… these friends of mine are hosting, like… this bonfire thing tonight… maybe you could come with me?” Spencer had always nagged Ryan about trying to make friends, constantly worried about his social life. “your hippy friends?” Ryan's monotone question quickly followed.
“Ok firstly, they're not hippies… and no it's some friends from my music course. You should really come, it'll be fun” Spencer walked off to the bathroom, leaving Ryan alone to think. Did he really want to go to some dumb bonfire with a bunch of people he didn't know… absolutely fucking not. But it would probably make Spencer happy, or at least get him off his case. Ryan rubbed his hand down his face, letting out a soft groan as he stood up from his desk chair
“yeah, alright I'll come… but I'm bringing my camera and I am not afraid to leave if it's boring” He calls to Spencer, moving towards his bed to pull on the jacket that had been left there earlier. His camera slung over his neck, the steady weight a comfort to him. Spencer steps out of the bathroom, his hair now tamed “I wouldn't expect anything less Ry”
Ryan had instantly regretted leaving his dorm, his fingers clutched the camera strap tightly as he awkwardly sat by himself on a park bench. The bonfire was held in an overgrown park, right near campus; it hadn't been used properly in years. The grass was overgrown and patchy, and the many benches and seats were in varying stages of falling apart.
Ryan was just about ready to leave, already sick of the variety of alcohol. The only reason he had stayed for more then two minutes was because of the free drinks, but they were all shit and cheap. Ryan decided to at least make it worth it, popping the lens cap off as he turned the camera on. Peering down the viewfinder for a few moments, trying to find something good to capture. He didn't find anything too interesting, the drunk people flailing around in an attempt to ‘dance’ not making good targets. So he decided to take a few shots of the large bonfire, watching as the embers danced around.
Ryan let out a soft groan as a heavy weight threw itself at the bench, his drink spilling over and seeping into the splitting wood. His face twisted into a grimace as he slowly pulled the camera from his face, preparing himself to interact with some idiotic drunk person. He turned around, ready to make some snarky comment but the words caught in his throat as he saw who had thrown themselves carelessly into the seat next to him.
Ryan's face dusted pink, mirroring the drunken flushed face of Brendon who was now looking over at him. His eyes were glazed over, his smile looked almost painfully wide. Ryan thought to himself, that he's never smiled even half as big as that. “shit, sorry dude i didn't mean to interrupt your… thing” Brendon’s words were slurred together and went right through Ryan's ears “what's up with that, by the way?... not a party person”
Ryan just stared at him for a moment before remembering he had to actually respond to people “uhm not really… I'm just here with a friend. I usually hate stupid parties like this” his deep and monotone voice only just being heard over the loud music and chatter. Brendon let out a noise, something mixed between a giggle and a gasp “oh I'm sorry… Mr cool guy thinks my party is stupid”
Ryan tenses up, a flicker of real human emotion crossing his face as his eyes widen “shit sorry… I didn't mean it like that, I just really hate parties, or any kind of large gathering… or people in general” his awkward rambling was cut off by Brendons laugh “nah I'm just fucking with you dude, I'm not hosting this shit… booze here sucks” Ryan's takes a deep breath, settling his pounding heartbeat.
“I get it… you're more of a ‘film the world before it happens’ kind of guy… I'm the same, I suppose… I'd rather sing about my feelings then talk about them with someone” Brendon gets distracted for a few moments, watching as some idiot trips over. “That's not actually the same thing at all though but… you get it. Right? Good” Brendon turns back to Ryan as he continues his drunken ramble.
“I think photography is cool though, do you mind if i check it out?” Brendon’s hands instantly reach for the camera without waiting for a response, accidentally yanking the strap around the back of Ryan's neck, forcing the poor boy forward. Ryan winces as he claws the strap over his head, ignoring the fact Brendon simply smiled at him. Ryan couldn't help but glare, the fact that Brendon was about to see copious amounts of photos of himself.
“Oh I'm Brendon by the way” though he doesn't bother looking up, too focused on turning the camera on. Ryan was too nervous to stop him, or do anything for that matter. Instead of his face twisting in disgust, his stupidly bright grin seemed to grow bigger. And for the first time since stumbling over, Brendon actually looked at Ryan. Properly looked at him, taking in his messy brown hair and smudged eye-liner, the way Ryan seemed to shrink away from his gaze.
“Wow… if this didn't fuel my ego, i'd probably call you a fucking creep” Ryan's face burned red from embarrassment, he seemed to shrink even further in on himself. “I mean seriously this is some real perverted shit” his voice was teasing, holding no hints of real disgust or anger. He wasn't lying about it doing wonders for his ego. “Shut up. You just look good” Ryan snatched the camera back, wiping it with his sleeves before turning it off. Brendon just grinned, leaning in closer to him, close enough for Ryan to smell the cheap beer on his breath “you're not too bad yourself pretty boy…” he glanced over at the crowd of people, before his attention turned back to the nervous boy in front of him “shit… I gotta go, but… I'm glad I could be your Muse… perv”
Ryan watched as Brendon walked off, going over to a small group of people calling for him. Ryan's heart was beating out of his chest, he wished the floor could swallow him whole. He was left confused and flustered from the interaction with the drunken boy. And as he quickly slipped away from the party, he hoped that by morning, Brendon would forget about him.
Ryan had made it to his dorm as quickly as he could, his entire body burned with shame. Though a small part of him was flustered at the way Brendon had called him ‘pretty boy’ teasing him about being a pervert instead of yelling at him in disgust. Ryan tried to shake the thoughts away, but even as he lay there in bed. His mind was completely consumed by Brendon. He was doomed