Chapter Text
Daria didn’t feel nervous as she rang the Lanes’ doorbell. Not at all. She also wasn’t minutely aware of the missing, comfortable weight of her glasses on her nose and ears, and in their place the ill-fitting contact lenses against her eyeballs… the thought still made her squeamish, as did the memory of putting them on at the opticians.
The door eventually opened to reveal a dishevelled Jane, her eyes half open.
“Ready?” Daria asked. Clearly, she wasn’t.
“Mmm.” Came Jane’s reply.
“Okay then, time to go.”
“Mmm.”
“You’re not really much of a morning person, are you?”
Jane leaned towards her further, squinting. “Where are your glasses?” She asked groggily.
Daria steeled herself. “I’m not wearing them.”
“Huh?”
“I got contacts.”
“Hmm.”
That simple hmm immediately shot Daria’s nerves up. She’d be lying if she told herself it wasn’t mostly because of Jane praising her “Daria Persona” the other day that she’d staved off wearing contacts. You don't care what people think about your looks. The glasses are you, they're symbolic of the whole Daria thing. "I wear glasses and I'm not going to apologize for it."
It felt like Jane respected her for that, and she’d hate to lose Jane’s respect.
So she launched into a ramble. “I hope this isn't going to change your opinion of me. I hope you don't think I've changed or compromised or become a shallow person who only cares about their looks. Because it would really bother me if you thought that.”
Jane just replied plainly, “No, I don't think anything like that.”
“Good.”
Jane then squinted at her again. “Where are your glasses?”
Daria rolled her eyes, suppressing a smile. Although she’d never admit it out loud, she found sleepy Jane quite endearing.
As the day wore on, Daria grew more irritated. Not only were her eyes itching more with every passing hour, but more people than she’d expected had commented on her “new appearance”, when she hadn't wanted it to feel like a big deal. Even teachers had complimented and congratulated her for “opening up” more, in front of her entire class no less, and it annoyed her that wearing glasses should even have the extra connotation of being closed off.
What furthered her irritation was the fact she was even letting all this get to her.
But the opinion she cared about most (as per usual), was Jane’s. And she’d simply stated, You look pretty cool, once they got to school. Daria found solace in the fact that at least Jane wasn’t treating it like a big deal. But still, she couldn’t just take the compliment, she’d had to blurt out accusingly Then what did I look like before?
Jane had replied that either worked for her, and Daria’s been wondering since which Jane preferred.
But why? She had never cared about anyone’s opinion of her appearance. Since when did she start caring about Jane’s?
Daria barely refrained from rubbing her eyes as she stared at them in the mirror, and they stared back, bloodshot. As if they were telling her what a bad idea this had been. Or perhaps taunting her for being so desperately vain that she was putting herself through this. She furrowed her brow and reasoned again with herself, its not vanity, I got them for driving.
But her brain just played back to her, Then why are you wearing them now?
Her face hurt from creasing her brow in annoyance or worry so much, and she was getting a headache.
“Yo, what’s going on?” Jane appeared beside her, making her jump slightly.
Daria swallowed down the lump in her throat, “These contacts are itching the hell out of me, I gotta take them out. But I don’t have my glasses here,” she explained quickly.
Jane met her red eyes in the mirror sympathetically. “Well, there’s only two periods left. Can you hold out?”
“Guess I have to.”
And she did, but she may as well have just taken them out anyway. Her eyes were welling up so much her vision was as blurry as it would be without them. When she bumped most of her body against the doorframe on the way out of class, probably bruising herself, she realised getting home was going to be a pain.
She heard some kids snorting and laughing at her stumbling out of class and she gritted her teeth, ignoring them, putting a hand against the wall as she walked slowly away from the classroom.
“You alright, Daria?” Jane said, coming up behind her.
Daria pinched her brow and rubbed her pounding temple. “Yeah, fine. Except I just can’t see a thing.”
Jane put a hand on her shoulder, and Daria straightened up, facing her.
“Your eyes aren’t looking so good. Come on, Morgendorffer, lets get you home.”
Daria wiped her eyes and squinted to try and focus. There was no judgement in Jane’s expression; nothing but care and concern as she rubbed Daria’s shoulder. To her own surprise, it helped her relax them a bit. She wasn’t usually one for physical affection, or touch of any kind, but knowing Jane had her back helped her feel alot better.
Jane had always seemed to silently understand Daria’s aversion to touch and being touched. Daria had assumed she probably felt the same way, or similarly.
She helped guide Daria out of the school with words alone, and Daria was thankful; in her current state she couldn’t bear the added embarrassment of being physically helped through the school. Once they got outside though, Daria tripped on the stairs and Jane quickly grabbed her upper arm, helping her stand upright.
“Don’t be getting ahead of yourself there missy, you’re only just learning to walk again.”
“Funny,” Daria snarked, but was grateful to Jane for catching her.
As they continued, Jane didn’t let go. Daria didn’t mind. In fact, the warmth of Jane’s steady hand around her arm was grounding, comforting. Only because she couldn’t see, of course.
“Big crack in the sidewalk coming up,” Jane guided her, still holding onto her arm, “You'll want to watch that.” Daria stepped probably wider than she needed to to avoid it.
“Look out for that branch,” Jane said, taking her forearm too and pulling her a bit closer to walk around it. Daria felt warm.
“There's some kids coming. Never mind, they turned the corner.” After that, Jane let go of her arm altogether, so Daria decided it was probably clear ahead.
She hadn’t said much, just let Jane guide her. Inside she was feeling torn. She should be irritated that her friend was having to help her so much, and she was. But her stomach had also tied itself in knots which she couldn’t really understand, and she knew her face felt warm, was probably red. Perhaps that was why Jane let go, maybe she thought Daria felt awkward. She did. But not exactly in the way she expected. Really, she wouldn't mind Jane's hand on her arm again. God, her eyes itched and her head hurt, she just wanted to go to bed and curl up. That made her feel pathetic. She screwed her weeping eyes shut and grimaced at herself. Damn contacts.
“Woah, Daria- Daria, watch out!”
Suddenly she was being grabbed and pulled back, against Jane’s front, and her eyes flew open to see a car fly past in front of her, horn beeping.
“Crossroad, Daria. Did you lose your hearing as well as your sight?”
Jane was still holding her. Daria’s heart hammered. She felt horribly embarrassed and awkward and her stomach was flipping like a pancake.
She pulled herself away from Jane, frowning, a hundred harsh jokes or words flitting through her head in response. “Sorry,” was all she said in the end, trying not to bite and probably failing.
But Jane’s tone dropped. “Hey, it’s fine.” A bit tentatively, she again put her hand on Daria’s shoulder. Its weight felt comforting, and Daria took a deep breath. “Long day?” It was worded slightly as a question, but more in way of understanding.
“Long day,” Daria agreed, and Jane wordlessly guided her onwards, hand staying on her shoulder. The crossroad wasn’t far from home, thank God.