Work Text:
lily @hockey1410
me and jane are no longer together…
char 🏒 @monreeeaaaalllll
Replying to @hockey1410
NO STOP???? SAY SIKE RIGHT NOW
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Pete @ManhattzPete
If this is true I literally don’t believe in love anymore.
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char 🏒 @monreeeaaaalllll
who’s gonna get me in the separation 💔
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gem @passpassSh00t
well lily’s funnier…
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jane @hockeyfan1221
😶
jane @hockeyfan1221
Replying to @hockey1410
You did the meme wrong.
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lily @hockey1410
…we are married!!
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jane @hockeyfan1221
Yeah, exactly, you did the meme wrong!
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gem @passpassSh00t
divorce?
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lily @hockey1410
would be very funny to divorce over meme. that i did correctly.
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jane @hockeyfan1221
No it wouldn’t. And no you didn’t.
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gem @passpassSh00t
your vibes rn are making it really hard to congratulate you guys
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lily @hockey1410
you are welcome
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gem @passpassSh00t
what the hell, sure
gem @passpassSh00t
i am Noticing™️
char 🏒 @monreeeaaaalllll
Replying to @passpassSh00t
share with the class baybee
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gem @passpassSh00t
i’ll dm you…
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abel ;_; @notsoserious0000
Okay so this is cruel!
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gem @passpassSh00t
dmssssss
char 🏒 @monreeeaaaalllll
if i speak-
gem @passpassSh00t
Replying to @monreeeaaaalllll
🙂
lily @hockey1410
Replying to @monreeeaaaalllll
nothing has stopped you before
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char 🏒 @monreeeaaaalllll
😅
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lily @hockey1410
what is this?
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char 🏒 @monreeeaaaalllll
don’t worry my guy 🫶
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lily @hockey1410
🤨
Cherry 🍒 @cheeryCherry
y is everyone suddenly so quiet?
Kevvvv @OttawaKevv
Replying to @cheeryCherry
Honey there’s a storm coming I fear
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Cherry 🍒 @cheeryCherry
no one is even talking about hockey like wtf
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lyd @lyddystix
they’re on break tho
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Cherry 🍒 @cheeryCherry
ok fair
lily @hockey1410
timeline is homophobic, i don’t think they like gay wedding. is okay for bag of bones hunter but not adorable lily and jane?
jane @hockeyfan1221
Replying to @hockey1410
Yeah, it’s weird.
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lily @hockey1410
i will protect you from strange hockey fans.
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jane @hockeyfan1221
Thanks?
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lily @hockey1410
i would do anything for you my toilet plunger.
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jane @hockeyfan1221
I prefer the pet names when they’re in Russian, my elliptical machine.
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polos @centaurs____
i question the inner workings of your relationship daily
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lily @hockey1410
you are unemployed.
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polos @centaurs____
damn. clocked tf
char 🏒@monreeeaaaalllll
fuck it we ball @hockey1410 are you ilya rozanov
gem @passpassSh00t
Replying to @monreeeaaaalllll
char what the fuckkkkkk
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char 🏒 @monreeeaaaalllll
i gotta know
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gem @passpassSh00t
that dm charlie kelly crash out investigation was not for public consumption
lily @hockey1410
Replying to @monreeeaaaalllll
is good you know what private message is
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char 🏒 @monreeeaaaalllll
oh my fucking god you are
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lily @hockey1410
ilya rozanov hacked me. he is very smart to guess password. scotthunterborn1920 if anyone wants to know.
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char 🏒 @monreeeaaaalllll
the pike and hunter slander was too on point i fucking knew it
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jane @hockeyfan1221
Come on.
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char 🏒 @monreeeaaaalllll
SHANE FUCKING HOLLANDER this is crazy
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gem @passpassSh00t
no fucking way you guys saw us thirsting over you. for years. and RESPONDED. i need a minute.
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lily @hockey1410
shane needs ego boost from pretty girls on the internet.
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jane @hockeyfan1221
Not true.
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gem @passpassSh00t
thanks for calling me pretty, famous hockey star ilya rozanov- man what the FUCK
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lily @hockey1410
i take it back the shutterstock flower as your profile picture does make me think maybe not pretty in real life.
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gem @passpassSh00t
i liked you better when you were just a random online cunt 😵
lola @canadianicePrinc3ss
how long’s it gonna take before everyone else gets wind of this because this is insane #hollanovhockeytwtstans
🤥Jaya @bosssssanovas
Replying to @canadianicePrinc3ss
we’ve gotta find a catchier hashtag dawg
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lola @canadianicePrinc3ss
granted, it’s not my best work 🥲
lily @hockey1410
Replying to @canadianicePrinc3ss
shane is deleting posts like it is his main job. hockey is now side hustle.
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jane @hockeyfan1221
Ignoring that, I think it’d be a good idea if you did too. Delete everything.
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lily @hockey1410
oh nooo ilya rozanov thinks his husband is hot and hayden pike is 15th best montreal player. call the press quickly there is a new major scoop
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gem @passpassSh00t
ilya you’re crazy for not deleting anything. like i wish this confidence would find me.
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lily @hockey1410
i have nothing to lose
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K @centaurrrrzonice
adidas i have your man!!!
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lily @hockey1410
while we are gathered here today i would like to say how comfortable my Adidas t-shirts are. so breathable.
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polos @centaurs____
no you’re so unserious
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lily @hockey1410
so fashionable and i get so many looks when i wear the clothes.
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rozanov get behind me @ilyaaaaaaaaaaaaa
@ adidas i just dropped a grand on u bc of rozanov
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lily @hockey1410
click link in my bio so i get big commission. also be brave and really tag them please.
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K @centaurrrrzonice
actually so done with you hjgjhgjhg
hollllllzy @hollzystanleycup
who else remembers this
lily @hockey1410
no, this is rozanov only. they had to ban hollander from keyboard because he could not stop writing about rozanov’s big dick
jane @hockeyfan1221
Replying to @hollzystanleycup
Well I definitely forgot. @hockey1410 please delete this.
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lily @hockey1410
you are trying to silence me.
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jane @hockeyfan1221
Ilya
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lily @hockey1410
or maybe you like it. is why you draw attention to it
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jane @hockeyfan1221
But I’m telling you to delete it.
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lily @hockey1410
like i said i speak only facts
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jane @hockeyfan1221
*Incorrect buzzer noise*
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lily @hockey1410
so now he has jokes…
Pete @ManhattzPete
My family: why is Ottawa Centaurs captain Ilya Rozanov at Pete’s funeral?
Me from the casket: that’s oomf 😭😭😭😭
lily @hockey1410
Replying to @ManhattzPete
your tweets are not good enough for me to show up to funeral. but thank you for the invite.
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🍁🍁🍁cee @VANXhockey
no that’s fucking coldddddd
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Pete @ManhattzPete
Okay no I actually have to die now.
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lily @hockey1410
i can give you recommendation for good catering service.
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🍁🍁🍁cee @VANXhockey
getting through past trauma with humour like i get u hon
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Pete @ManhattzPete
Yeah but what about me though?
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🍁🍁🍁cee @VANXhockey
lost cause honestly, there’s no coming back from this you have been Bodied 💣💯
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Pete @ManhattzPete
Thought so… But he’s still following me so things are looking up!
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lily @hockey1410
on thin ice (pun intended)
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Pete @ManhattzPete
Alright man.
lainy 🏒@FCKVOYAGEURS_
i have never felt more dumb in my life
lily @hockey1410
hollander is looking very pretty today in his photoshoot. barely noticed walmart watch when his freckles stand out so nicely.
lainy 🏒@FCKVOYAGEURS_
Replying to @FCKVOYAGEURS_
right in front of my damn salad. 2018……… 🚬
lily @hockey1410
Replying to @FCKVOYAGEURS_
he did not like this tweet.
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jane @hockeyfan1221
Backhanded compliment.
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lily @hockey1410
did you think it was as weak as your backhand?
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jane @hockeyfan1221
Fuck you.
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lainy 🏒@FCKVOYAGEURS_
everyone shut up my show is on 😃
Rozanov #1 @___rozyrozy
No but like I’m actually so glad Hollander and Rozanov were able to fight back homophobic assholes in the comments when they got outed because of the shield of their alt accounts.
Ilya Rozanov @ilyarozanovofficial
Replying to @___rozyrozy
I would say this on main. I just did not want harris to be stressed
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Ottawa Centaurs 🇨🇦🏳️🌈 @ottawacentaursHQ
Thank you, Ilya!
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vern‼️ @Hazyonice
on the other hand boy you’ve got some serious damage control coming your way now
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lily @hockey1410
this account is sunshine and rainbow harris do not worry
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Carrottop @Keep_It_Icy
Bro you talked about how big your dick is in third person like constantly 😮💨
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lily @hockey1410
you exaggerate but where is the scandal?
luca haas REAL @notlucahaas
Just remembered rozy called himself russian daddy. thinking thoughts. none of them legal.
lily @hockey1410
Replying to @notlucahaas
@hockeyfan1221 can you confirm
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jane @hockeyfan1221
Fucking hell.
//hor @BEARboy81
the main thing is shnehollandrhle gate just got more context i’m dying
BB @shnehollandrhle
Replying to @BEARboy81
so this is absolutely frying me
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//hor @BEARboy81
sending the resuscitators stat
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🍁🍁🍁cee @VANXhockey
i respect that you didn’t switch handles miss shnehollandrhle
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tit goblin @mlhallstarrrs
so glad i’m not you girl #sorry
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Beth @bedbathandbeth
Are you joking? What I would give for Ilya Rozanov to respect my twt handle
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tit goblin @mlhallstarrrs
ok bedbathandbeth ???
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Beth @bedbathandbeth
Did not think before I posted that’s on me
lily @hockey1410
Replying to @BEARboy81
it is maybe the best username after mine.
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marlow’s wife @upinthecloud5
yeah mr hockey is my whole personality, that’s a fuckin stellar handle…
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lily @hockey1410
i am undercover like the best spy.
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gem @passpassSh00t
alias so good you didn’t get found out even one time
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lily @hockey1410
i do not like you.
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gem @passpassSh00t
geez these clapbacks hurt even more when you know the bitch delivering them 😞
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lily @hockey1410
did you see my centaurs calendar? june? i am THE bitch.
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jane @hockeyfan1221
It’s ‘THAT bitch’.
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gem @passpassSh00t
ite i’m out, it’s been so real ✌️
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BB @shnehollandrhle
rerouting my mail to hell bc that’s where i currently am
👑people’s prince @figureitoot_
i remember the days when @hockeyfan1221 was @ montrealfan1221 and had more than like 2 posts
jane @hockeyfan1221
Replying to @figureitoot_
Can’t imagine why I’d want to distance myself from all that.
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Rozanov #1 @___rozyrozy
Voyageurs are cancelled pass it on
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lily @hockey1410
our agent said shane is not relatable anymore 👎
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jane @hockeyfan1221
Ilya.
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lily @hockey1410
i am sleeping with anya tonight i suppose
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jane @hockeyfan1221
Well hang on
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lainy 🏒@FCKVOYAGEURS_
MY SHOW-
MLH News @MLHNewsToday
Scott Hunter was asked to comment on Ilya Rozanov’s recently exposed secret Twitter account after the Admirals’ win against Detroit.
[Attached video: Scott Hunter in a post-game interview looking confused as he’s asked if he was aware of Ilya Rozanov’s secret Twitter account. Hunter shakes his head and confirms he didn’t know anything about it and quickly pivots back to discussing his team’s play.]
powwww 😖 @hockskipnajump
Replying to @MLHNewsToday
lily’s breached containment
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lily @hockey1410
look at his wrinkly face he does not even know what twitter is.
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Scott Hunter 🏒🏳️🌈 @ScottHunterADMIRALS
I have a feeling I’m not gonna enjoy tonight’s reading.
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lily @hockey1410
sit back, put coke bottle reading glasses on and scroll. you may not have much time left on this earth, would be shame to miss my premium posts before leaving mortal coil
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Scott Hunter 🏒🏳️🌈 @ScottHunterADMIRALS
On second thought, I think I’d rather just block you actually.
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lily @hockey1410
you need directions old man? is on my profile in drop down menu. if you cannot see ‘block’ go to settings and make text bigger.
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papi @bemorehollander
@MLHNewsToday y’all getting all this?
Hayden Pike @haydpikeOfficial
Hey everyone, I appreciate the heads up, but please stop messaging me. I knew who “Lily” was!
Ilya Rozanov @ilyarozanovofficial
Replying to @haydpikeOfficial
Nice save. but i do not believe you.
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Hayden Pike @haydpikeOfficial
I could recognise your particular brand of asshole from a mile off.
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Ilya Rozanov @ilyarozanovofficial
I think 91st child is asking after you. you should stop wasting time on the internet before she starts calling spongebob father.
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Hayden Pike @haydpikeOfficial
It’s on sight, Rozanov.
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Ilya Rozanov @ilyarozanovofficial
@shanehollanderhockeyplayer ask jackie if she has a stretcher at home.
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Shane Hollander @shanehollanderhockeyplayer
Again, do not involve me in this.
Ottawa Centaurs 🇨🇦🏳️🌈 @ottawacentaursHQ
We’re aware.
centaurs save me @censneedcups
Replying to @ottawacentaursHQ
starting a gofundme for harris this is an unprecedented amount of bad press
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Ottawa Centaurs 🇨🇦🏳️🌈 @ottawacentaursHQ
We’re all good!
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centaurs save me @censneedcups
moments before breakdown ass tweet
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Ilya Rozanov @ilyarozanovofficial
all press is good press, no?
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Shane Hollander @shanehollanderhockeyplayer
I'm changing the WiFi password later, don't worry, Harris. :)
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Ilya Rozanov @ilyarozanovofficial
this will not stop me, hollander.
noelle 🇨🇦 @hckyhooky
Replying to @ottawacentaursHQ
the fact this needs no context
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keeeeeef @_buffalowsandhighs
we’re all locked the fuck in
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//hor @BEARboy81
i feel ALIVE
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lily @hockey1410
Adidas me and my husband feel so good in your apparel
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keep it calm @bostonBRozy
thesaurus guuuuuuuuurl 😩🙌
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🍁🍁🍁cee @VANXhockey
random lol
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jane @hockeyfan1221
Absorbant.
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🍁🍁🍁cee @VANXhockey
BRO
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Ottawa Centaurs 🇨🇦🏳️🌈@ottawacentaursHQ
It’s so wonderful having you on the team, Shane.
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BOOD @ZaneBoodram
@TroyBarrettHockey1 help your man
