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its 9:31 pm and there’s too much noise
The party in the Gryffindor common room is on its full swing. The common room is beautifully decorated in balloons, banners and streamers of the four house colors. James’ vinyl player is charmed to play the songs on an exceptionally high volume throughout the room. The Marauders’ have a thing for muggle music so that’s whats been playing on a loop all through the evening. There is a wide selection of self replenishing alcohol on one table in the corner of the room. Everyone is dressed up for the occasion, it’s a blur of different colors. Drunken smiles are etched on everyone’s faces as they sway to the music together.
its 9:45 pm and i’m alone
Marlene ditched me for a guy she’s now snogging not so secretively in the corner near the colossal windows overlooking the grounds below. Alice and Frank are on the dance floor, looking all sorts of adorable, trying to slow dance to a high tempo song. Dorcas is participating in a very unusual card game taking place on one of the tables whose rules were too complex for me to understand amidst all this music. Sirius and Remus seem like they’re having a gala time belting out the lyrics of Let’s Get It On. Peter is chatting up a cute Hufflepuff near the fire.
its 10:07 pm and my heart is sinking
My heart feels like it was dropped from the top of the Astronomy tower and then stomped on by a Hippogriff. There are tears prickling my eyes but I refuse to let them fall. Grabbing a cup of butterbeer from the table, I down it in one go. I’ve drank a lot of it today, but none of it seems enough to actually get me drunk. Sighing, I look at him again willing for the scene in front of me to change. It doesn’t. James is dancing with a very pretty Ravenclaw girl on the dance floor. They both look so graceful and synchronized, his precise moves and her blonde hair and skirt twirling around. They’re laughing and it doesn’t look like they’re drunk. No one can dance this well when they’re drunk. Sirius catches my eye. He knows why I’m a little gloomy today. He gives me a little smile and shrugs and I reciprocate.
its 10:39 pm and now i’m a little drunk
The butterbeer and Firewhisky seems to be working now. Sirius bounces up to me and asks me for a dance. I smile. We’re dancing, only because Sirius is doing all the work. I’ve stepped on him atleast 10 times in the last 5 minutes but he doesn’t mind, just smiles. He twirls me around and dips me down, we sway to the music and laugh when I fall down. You’ll be fine, he says. I hope he’s right. When the song finishes, I kiss his cheek. He’s a true gentleman and such a caring soul. I’m envious of James that he has such an amazing person to call his best mate. Maybe I should steal Sirius away from him. That’ll make him remember me. He hasn’t spoken to me since the party started. Come to think of it, he hasn’t spoken to me since yesterday. Sadness washes over me again, and I let it drift me away.
its 11:12 pm and i’m wandering
Head duty calls and I just escorted some giggling, drunk out of their mind Hufflepuffs back to their dorm. They hugged me as a thank you. It was surprising when McGonagall nodded in approval for a New Years’ Party in the Gryffindor Common Room. She is well aware of the appalling things happening outside the secure walls of Hogwarts and understood James and Sirius’ request for a last party. To forget things, even if it’s just for one night, James had proclaimed in Tranfiguration a few days before. To make memories, Sirius added and McGonagall was almost on the verge of tearing up at the enthusiasm of these two boys to spread happiness in times of utter distress. She gave her nod of approval, but also reminded the Heads and Prefects to make sure no one ends up in the hospital wing. I’ll miss her a lot after graduating.
its 11:27 pm and the moon is very bright
The stars are very conspicuous in this part of Scotland. There’s an eery silence in the empty corridors. It’s also snowing. The Hogwarts ground is a beautiful untouched blanket of white. Serene and pure. Hagrid’s hut is visible just at the edge of the Forbidden Forest. There’s smoke coming out of the chimney and I hope he’s having a wonderful evening with his little puppy Fang. The Black Lake is frozen over, the trees surrounding it barren and cold. It feels like a winter wonderland. If I squint enough, I can see the Quidditch pitch with its three hoops far along in the landscape. I just stand and take it in. I don’t want to leave this place.
its 11:39 pm and i miss you
I miss you. It was a strange year, with no one to write to. No one to go home to. I miss you, mom. Are you up there, looking over at me? I look up and the stars twinkle in answer. I smile. I love you, I wish I got to say it one last time before you went away to Dad. Is he okay? Tell him his flower misses him even more now, and that I miss his pancakes in the morning. They’re still unbeatable. A sole tear trickles out of my eye when I realize I can’t hold it in anymore. So I just let them flow this time.
its 11:51 pm and i’m cold
Strolling back to the Gryffindor common room, I realize I don’t want to be there tonight. So, I head up to the Astronomy Tower. It’s empty and the cold winds are unrelenting. I shiver but it’s nothing I can’t take so I just push my hands deeper into my cloak. It comes in contact with a piece of paper and my cloak suddenly seems heavy with her words. You have your family in school, and I have mine with Vernon, it read, let’s not change that, you’ll only be coming home to an empty house on Christmas. I still haven’t gathered the courage to finish the letter, but I have a fair idea of what it entails. I just stand on the balcony as stare into the horizon.
its 11:56 pm and he’s here
I knew it was him when I heard the hurried footsteps vibrating through the silence. He has an uncanny ability to find me wherever I may be in the castle. Curling a hand through my waist, he pulls me closer to him. I can smell his scent. It’s not cinnamon, or wood, or broom polish, or parchment and ink. It’s just distinctly James and that’s why I love it so much. He cups my cheeks and wipes away the last of the tears looking me dead in the eye. I can’t hold it in anymore, he says with such unfamiliar intensity in the hazel of his eyes which are usually always lit up in mirth, and for once I think you might finally feel the same about me. I love you, he says after a beat that felt so long, I’m bloody well in love with you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. The tears spill out again at his confession, but these are happy tears. I smile, I love you too, I say. His lips meet mine as the our worlds finally collide.
its 12:03 am and his arms feel like the home I’ve lost.