Archive of Our Own ^beta

Will thought that after all these years, he knew everything there was to know about Mike Wheeler. He's seen him on his best and worst days, he’s smelled his morning breath, he knows what he’s thinking by just looking at him. But tonight he’s learned something new.

Mike is a messy drunk.

It's hours after graduation and everyone is at Stacey Albright's party. Mike had shut the idea down right away in favor of a game of dnd, and Will, Dustin and Lucas, while a little disappointed, were fine with that.

Then Lucas mentioned it to Max when they were all eating at a diner in town.

“What do you mean we’re not going? We can do the campaign tomorrow, Mike! We get one graduation and, probably, especially for you, one chance to go to a party and get drunk and have fun. And you’re gonna speak for us all and say no?” She glares across the table and forcefully dips some fries into her shake, shoving them into her mouth. “Me and Lucas are going. You guys have fun in the basement, though.”

Lucas's eyes light up and he turns to Max with a big smile, putting his arm around her. “Can’t argue with that.”

Dustin slams a fist on the table. “Hey! I was the one she directly asked to go, so I'm going too!”

“Seriously? Max, didn’t you say Stacey made fun of you and El at the mall? Dustin, do you not remember her turning you down and laughing at you at the snow ball? Why do you guys want to go so bad? If anything, we can just ask Steve or someone to get us beer if you guys want to drink.” Mike crosses his arms and leans against the bench, looking to his right and raising his eyebrows at Will.

“I dunno… it could be fun.” Will raised his eyebrows back at Mike, bumping knees with him under the table. “Just once. Just for the experience before college, ya know?”

They held eye contact and Will could tell the moment Mike lost, his shoulders dropping and his chest deflating with the sigh he let out.

But with how Mike’s acting now, you would think it was his idea to go to begin with.

Will is sitting on the couch, music blaring and lights dim in the big house. There's people dancing all around him, if you can call it that, holding red cups filled with mixed drinks. Will is sporting his own cup with a mixture of vodka and something fruity. He's definitely feeling something, but he thought being drunk would be different than this. He's happy and relaxed as he watches the chaos. Max and Lucas are shotgunning beers with a mixed group of jocks and band kids, Dustin is flirting hard with Stacey in the kitchen and, from the looks of it, he’s winning her over. Huh.

And Mike.

Michael Wheeler is chugging drinks like they’re water. Will feels sick just watching him. He was pouty and complained to Will the whole walk to Stacey's house, saying that he “really doesn’t see the point of even going at all” and when Will told him he didn’t have to go, that he can head home, if he wants, Mike looked mortified.

“And let you go to the wolves alone? I don't think so. What if you get too drunk and need help getting home? What if someone tries something with you when you’re not in your right mind? Someone needs to keep an eye on you.”

Will then pointed out that he’s a big boy and can take care of himself and Mike, protective and caring as ever, said “I know you can. But I want to. I have since we were kids, and I'm not stopping anytime soon.”

But the roles reversed about 30 minutes after walking in the door. The first sip Mike took of his tequila mixer made his eyes go wide and his smile bloom. “Holy shit! Will, you gotta try this. It might be the best thing I've ever tasted.”

It was not the best thing Will’s ever tasted. Another new thing he learned about his best friend: Mike prefers sour drinks while Will prefers fruity. Will has lost count over the number of times Mike’s cup had been refilled and emptied and refilled again. Will had to pull him down from the coffee table twice already when two of his favorite songs came on and he thought it would be a great place to dance. Then, after Will had to leave him for 5 seconds to use the bathroom, he came back to find Mike in the backyard, dangerously close to the swimming pool, very animatedly trying to explain one of his past campaigns to a group of art kids who clearly had no idea what he was going on about. Will has tried to keep him confined to the living room since.

Now, Mike is laughing loudly with a guy Will recognizes from English class. He stumbles a little which only makes him laugh harder. He catches Will's eye and his smile grows even wider before making his way over to the couch.

“Will! Why are you just sitting! Come have fun!” He grabs Will's hands and pulls him up from the couch, making Will dizzy, which makes him have to grab onto Mike's hands harder for balance.

“I am having fun, Mike. I think you need to have a little less.” He’s shaking his head before Will even finishes speaking.

“No, no, no. I've just gotten started. I barely even feel drunk. I've honestly never felt better than I do right now.” He looks Will in the eyes, trying to look as serious as possible.

“Right. Why don’t you try walking in a straight line for me right now, then?” Will releases his hands and backs up a few feet away from Mike. Mike tilts his head and furrows his brows a bit, looking down at his feet. He slowly puts the heel of one foot in front of the other's toes, arms raising slightly at his sides like he’s on a tightrope or something. He makes it maybe five steps before his legs cross too much and Will has to stop him from falling to the ground.

“Yeah. You’ve had enough, I think." Will laughs and starts leading Mike to the kitchen. “Let's get some water in you.”

Mike pulls a face but follows Will. “Water is so boring. Have you even drank at all? Why are you normal?”

“I guess I just hold it better than you. And at least now we know when we drink who’s really gonna be taking care of who.” Will grabbed two waters from the fridge, uncapping Mike’s before handing it over. Mike pouts once again.

“I'm sorry, Will. I was supposed to take care of you and I got carried away. I promise to never drink again. One and only time is tonight.” Mike takes a drink of his water, then seems to enjoy the feeling and downs half the bottle. Will takes it from him, laughing quietly.

“Pace yourself, please.” He pauses, looking into Mike’s face for a second. “You take care of me a lot, Mike. A lot more than you realize, I think. It’s nice for me to get to do it for once.” He feels embarrassed and looks at the ground, fiddling with the water caps.

Mike swoops his neck a bit so he’s slightly looking up into Will's eyes. “I love looking after you. It makes me feel like I have a purpose. Like I'm needed. And I don’t mean it in a way that you can’t care for yourself, I know you can, like I said earlier, it’s just that… I'm thankful that you let me. After all we’ve been through, all you’ve been through, I'm just glad we can still lean on each other. That we didn’t, like, lose ourselves or something. Didn’t lose each other.” He grabs Will’s bicep, squeezing lightly. “I don't know what I would do without you. I haven't known life without you, Will.”

Will is frozen in place, besides the butterflies going crazy in his stomach. He feels lightheaded and his vision is blurry from more than just the alcohol in his blood. He knows Mike is just saying all of this because he’s drunk. He does. But he can’t help the hopeful feeling he gets because of the words. The one that has presented itself so many times over the years of their friendship that it’s almost second nature. Mike is looking at him with his big brown eyes and his beautiful face and he still has a hold of his arm and he’s so close and suddenly it’s too much. Will needs to go. The room is too hot and too crowded and too loud. He sucks in a breath, gently pulling his arm away. Mike seems to know what he’s going to say before he says it.

“Do you want to leave? We totally can. I think I've had enough experience for one night.” Will nods slightly and Mike straightens up, drinking the rest of his water, making Will do the same. Then he pulls Will into his side and they start making their way to the door. Will catches Max's eye as they’re walking and tilts his head to the door. She nods in understanding and waves bye.

The fresh night air is a little cold, but feels nice on Will’s face after being surrounded by the muggy air he shared with his fellow graduates for the past few hours. He and Mike are both swaying as they walk, and he’s grateful for the anchor that’s Mike's body, even if he’s being slightly more of an anchor for Mike, if he’s being honest. But the air seems to be sobering Mike up at least a little bit. They walk in a comfortable silence and Will tries to stop Mike's words from repeating over and over in his head.

They’re a few blocks away from Stacey's house when Will hears Mike gasp. He looks up to him in confusion but Mike's eyes are locked on something in the distance. He picks up his pace, and Will finally sees what he’s looking at. Hawkins elementary school.

“What are we doing?” Will asks

“Let’s hang out on the playground for a little. It'll be fun. Like we’re 5 years old again.” They reach the gate and Mike opens it. There's low yellow lights illuminating the pavement but the equipment is in the shadows. Mike guides Will over to the jungle gym before starting to climb up. Will watches from the bottom as Mike gets to the very top and positions himself to hang upside down with his legs wrapped around the bars.

“That might not be the best idea. You're gonna feel sick.” Will climbs between the bars so he’s under the dome and makes it to the center, looking up at Mike.

“I’ll be fiiiine. If I fall, you’ll catch me, right?” Mike lays his body backwards and ends up with his face at the same height as Will’s. He lets his arms hang and his body swing a bit before deciding to grab onto Will’s hands to steady himself. His shirt slid down and his stomach was on display. Will averts his eyes, locking them on his face instead. Mike’s fluffy hair that’s hanging freely, his cheeks slightly pink from the alcohol and the blood rushing to his head, his parted lips, the freckles making constellations across the bridge of his nose and under his eyes, his pretty eyes.

Will mentally shakes himself and swallows, nodding, “Of course I will.”

Mike's eyes are locked onto his face, too. Darting back and forth between his eyes before opening a little wider as he looks further down. To Will’s lips. And he just stares. Like he doesn’t know what he’s doing to Will. And he, realistically, probably doesn’t. Will's breath hitches a bit, and he doesn’t know what to do, how to move on from this moment. So he lets Mike stare. And he stares back.

It feels like hours until Mike snaps himself out of it and looks back up to where his legs are. “Please help me get right side up again. I'm stuck.”

Will laughs a little and releases Mike's hands, grabbing his shoulders and pushing him back up to the top of the jungle gym. He runs his hands slightly from Mike's shoulders to the middle of his back, keeping him steady as he unwraps his legs. He gets out from under the bars as Mike climbs down, meeting Will at the bottom.

“Now what do you wanna do?” Will asks. Mike looks around at the options before poking Will in the arm.

“Tag.” he says, darting away before Will can even blink. Will lets out a short, surprised laugh before running after him. He can hear Mike laughing in front of him as he zigzags his way across the pavement. Mike takes a turn and runs towards the trees at the far side of the playground, and Will realizes they’re running in the same path they did when they played tag as kids. Mike always running to the trees to make himself harder to find and catch.

“Your legs are unfairly long, Mike! You have an advantage!” Will calls out, winded but keeping pace. Mike looks back over his shoulder with one of the most beautiful smiles Will has ever seen on his face. He looks so carefree and childish it makes Will’s heart stutter in his chest. Mike slows down a little but continues running until he hits the trees, then turns completely and waits for Will. He looks pleased with himself, Will notices as he gets closer and slows his own pace. He walks towards Mike, trying to catch his breath as Mike walks backward away from him, a smile playing on his mouth. His back hits a tree and he leans against it. Will lightly shoves his shoulder when he approaches.

“Not fair,” he says. He turns and runs away this time. It’s a few seconds before he hears Mike running after him, but even then, Mike catches up to him way too quickly for his liking. He feels Mike’s hands on his waist before arms envelop him and Will feels his feet lift from the ground. He lets out a little yelp, grabbing onto Mike's forearms as he spins them around a couple times.

“Mike,” Will says, breathless, “please stop, oh my god. I'm gonna be sick.” Mike laughs a little, right in Will's ear, before putting him back on the ground. Will turns to face him with raised eyebrows, looking him up and down. “Since when can you lift me?”

“Probably since always, just never tried till now. Don’t look so surprised. I'm strong.”

“Sure you are.” Will smiles up at him. “I need to sit. I might pass out.”

“Swings?” Mike asks. Will nods and they make their way over. They sit in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the quiet night and catching their breath.

Will pushes himself lightly back and forth with his foot as he looks around, taking in the view of the playground he grew up in. The swing seat is a little small, and the paint is a little more chipped, but it’s all the same otherwise. The cold chains in his hands, the creaking, the sound of his feet on the woodchips. It makes him remember how young he was when everything started happening. How scared he was. What helped him get through it all. Who helped him get through it.

“Remember that time I saved your life?” He asks. He means it as a joke, but it comes out soft, an opening for all the feelings he’s been keeping in through the years to come out of. All the things he’s wanted to say but felt like he couldn’t. Didn’t want to bring it back up when he felt like everyone else had already moved on.

Mike looks over to him with a small smile and a nod. “I never did thank you for that, did I? Thank you, Will. Seriously.”

“You don’t have to thank me. It was because of you that I could even do it.” Will looks away for a second, his heart is racing suddenly like he shouldn’t say what he wants to. But he needs to. He needs to let it out. He looks back into Mike’s eyes.

“When you were about to be attacked… I didn't know what to do. It was the first time I really felt like I was going to lose you. I froze, I was just so scared, but then I just… I thought about this, being here, meeting you… becoming your friend. It gave me the strength to fight back.” And accept that I've been in love with you since that moment, he adds in his head.

Mike looks at him in a way he’s never seen before. His eyes are big and soft and his eyebrows are a little raised, head tilted a bit to one side, lips slightly parted.

“It’s like that time in your shed. When the mindflayer had you and we were all telling you things to help you remember who you are.” Mike turns his body more towards Will. “I talked about that day, too. Asking to be your friend, and you saying yes. We saved each other in the same way and didn’t even realize.”

Will nods. He remembers. He remembers not being in control of his mind or his body. The feeling of this thing taking over him and not being able to do anything about it. Being in the hospital and Mike being by his side the entire time. The only constant besides his mom and brother. One of his only safe places. The voice to always bring him back to reality.

“I guess it’s pretty powerful, huh? Us. Our… bond. Connection?” Mike's eyebrows furrow. “Whatever it is, it saved us both. That’s pretty amazing. You’re amazing.” Mike pauses and they just look at each other, Will’s heart still racing, Mike looking like he’s holding himself back from saying more.

“Do you… remember when we were in California, in the pizza place?” He starts slowly. Will nods and waits. Mike looks between his eyes like he’s trying to decide if it’s safe or not. He sits up straighter and lets out a breath.

“When El was in the pizza freezer trying to fight Vecna and I told her that- that I loved her and that my life started the day I met her… it was a lie. Not that I never loved her, I did, but not-“ Mike’s eyes were wide and scared. “Not in the way she needed me to. And the truth is that… my life, it truly started the day I met you. But I just- I couldn’t admit it. I was so scared to acknowledge what I was feeling. That it’s was bigger than anything else I’d ever felt. That-“ He cuts himself off, putting his head in his hands, just breathing for a minute. Will sits in the silence, too scared to break it, but also so scared to know what else Mike is going to say.

“El and I, we’ve talked so much about it. It's the reason we split up after everything. She thought- she knew I didn’t love her like that. She said she thought the only reason I was with her was because of her powers and her ability to save you. And I saw where she was coming from. I mean, I really was going to have my mom turn her in after we found her. It only didn’t happen because she recognized you in a photo. And I know it’s awful to say, but it’s just- you’ve always been the most important person to me, and then this girl comes along when you’re missing and knows you and says she can find you and-“ Mike runs his hand through his hair. “I don’t know, I guess after all that, I just felt like… the love and appreciation I had for her was what I was supposed to be feeling, the big thing everyone talks about, so we just started dating. Even though we were both too young to know anything about love, especially El who had barely even ever been outside for fucks sake. And then it was just… comfortable I guess. It’s just what was happening and so we kept going with it. But to say that in front of you. Like you going missing didn’t affect me at all because I got a girlfriend out of it or something. I was such a fucking asshole, Will. I'm so sorry.” Mike reaches out and grabs one of Will's hands.

“It's ok, Mike. I know you didn’t mean it like that.” Will squeezes his hand, but Mike shakes his head.

“It's not ok. Nothing about how I treated you in those years is ok. Fucking years, Will. On top of everything you were already dealing with, I come in and start being mean and weird to you. It wasn't right. You shouldn’t have had to deal with that.”

“Thank you. It- it means a lot. I never wanted to push for answers, but I could feel you pulling away. I thought maybe I'd done something, but we never talked about it. I don't know if you remember but… the year everyone was in relationships and I was just… still stuck in childhood or whatever, when you and Lucas didn’t want to play dnd and I got upset and left and you said-“

“It’s not my fault you don’t like girls,” Mike said, cringing, his eyebrows scrunching and his eyes looking at the ground. “I remember.”

“Yeah. It- it really hurt my feelings, Mike. I know you probably didn’t mean for it to, but it did. I biked straight to Castle Byers and destroyed it and all the photos of us I had inside because it hurt so bad. Then moving to Lenora not long after that, being cut off from you, and you barely reaching out… I felt so abandoned. I know I had my mom and El and Jonathan, and they’re great, but they’re not you. And I needed you so badly in that moment. Being across the country from everything I’ve ever known after just losing two years of my childhood. Not having any stability or peace for years.” Will is shaking, his lips are quivering and he looks up to the dark sky to try to keep in the tears he feels coming. He realizes how tight he’s gripping Mike's hand and loosens slightly, but Mike holds on even tighter.

“And then…. getting powers. Thinking ‘finally. I can fight back. I can protect myself.’ But I couldn't. I got taken back to the same place I thought I would die in when I was twelve years old. My body was- was used again.” His voice cracks and he can’t hold the tears in. “After everything- being mentally tortured, being so connected to the monster that took me that I felt the same things he did. That I got burned alive, having fucking eggs put inside me and throwing up a fucking demodog. I- I've never even told anyone about that, but I'm pretty sure I… birthed Dart. And after all that I still couldn’t stop it from happening, even with powers. I felt like Vecna was right. Like I really was just weak." He's crying hard at this point, and Mike is suddenly kneeling on the ground in front of him, hands on his face, wiping his tears.

“You're not weak, Will, are you kidding me?” Mike says so softly. “You’re one of the strongest people I've ever met. You're a survivor. A warrior. You're the one that saved me, you saved your mom, you saved Max and my little sister, you saved all the other kids. Even El was losing the fight before you stepped in. You defeated Vecna. If it wasn’t for you, nothing would be how it is right now.” Will looks up to meet Mike's eyes, seeing the tears running down his face as well.

“But you shouldn’t have had to do any of that. You should’ve been able to just live a normal childhood and not worry about all the shit you had to worry about. If I could go back to that night I wouldn't let you leave my house. I wish I would have somehow just known to stop you. It's one of my biggest regrets. When they found that body, when they said it was you… it broke me. The thought of losing you killed some part of me. I felt like I was the only one who cared, which I know isn’t true, you’re so loved and everyone was trying to find you, but in the moment I felt so helpless. Going to school and hearing Troy and his group making fun of you even then… I just couldn’t handle it. I was so depressed and didn’t know how to deal with anything I was feeling. So… when Troy found me and Dustin on the cliff over the lake they found the body in and told me to jump… I did. I jumped off the fucking cliff and would’ve died if it wasn’t for El. And I was ok with it. Because I wasn’t fully sure you were alive, I had a feeling, but I thought maybe I was just crazy and I was so overwhelmed and just wanted to be with you again.”

“Mike,” Will says on a sob. “I- what the fuck? I can't believe you’d do that. I mean- I can, but if I came back and you weren’t here and I learned it was because of me-“ Will can’t even finish the thought. He cries harder, his body shaking. Mike rests his forehead against Will’s, rubbing his hands up and down his sides.

“Will, it’s ok. It didn’t happen. We’re still here. We’re still together.” Mike’s breath fans over Will's face and it calms Will slightly. He grabs onto Mike's shoulders and pulls him into a tight hug, burying his face in Mike's neck. He feels Mike rub his back and nuzzle the top of his head. They hold each other in silence until Will's cries soften into just sniffles and shaky breaths.

“I came to your house right away that night, by the way,” Mike says quietly into Will's hair. Will hums back in question.

“The night we fought in my garage. It only took me a minute after you biked away to drag Lucas out into the pouring rain with me to go to your house. He complained the whole time but there was no way I was going to just… let you leave thinking that I didn't care about you. I needed you to know that I was sorry and that I didn't mean what I said. Which… looking back… me and El had a fight that same day, when she dumped me, and still, all I could think about was apologizing to you. I guess that moment should’ve told me everything I needed to know.”

Will’s heart skips. He pulls back to look into Mike's eyes, sees how honest, how vulnerable he’s being. He feels the old feeling of hope growing in his chest. “What…?” he doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t want to do something to ruin even the possibility of- of whatever is happening right now. Mike runs his thumb between Will's eyebrows, smoothing the tension he didn’t realize he had there.

“Funny how easy it is to talk when you’ve been drinking, huh?” Mike laughs a little, shaking his head. “There's so much I've been holding in for years and I'm just tired of doing that. I just want to pour my whole heart out to you, if you let me.”

Will takes a deep breath, looking down at Mike, who’s still on his knees in front of him, tear tracks drying on his cheeks, hair a mess from his hands running through it, but still the most beautiful person Will has ever seen. He pushes him away slightly, sees the hurt on Mike’s face for a second before sliding off the swing to sit on the ground too. He lays back and reaches out to Mike, pulling him to lay beside him, both of them looking up at the stars, the woodchips poking into them but neither of them caring.

“Tell me everything. Whatever you want.”

Mike stays quiet, seeming to gather his thoughts, then speaks.

“When you moved to California, I would bike to your house every day for at least the first month, just hoping that maybe you came back. I would sometimes just sit there and remember everything we did together. All the sleepovers we had there. All the games we would play in the front yard. The drawings you would make in chalk on the sidewalk and how they were always so much better than mine but, how I could never be mad about it. I tried calling every day, too, but the line was always busy. And I- I did write you letters, just like I did for El, but I couldn't bring myself to send them. It felt like they would just… show everything. ‘Cause it’s when you left that it all really clicked for me, I guess.”

The words hang in the air for a moment. Will is scared to ask, afraid that he’s reading this all wrong. But he needs to know. And they’re being honest with each other right now, right?

“What… what clicked for you?” He says quietly. He's too scared to look over at Mike, but he can feel the eyes on him. There’s a rustling of Mike's jacket before Will feels Mike's hand against his own on the ground, pinkies interlocking. They've held hands so much tonight, but this feels different, charged, kind of. Will's whole arm is tingling and the butterflies are back in his stomach.

“Let me ask you something before I answer,” Mike says just as quiet. Will nods.

It's silent for a few minutes, but Will can practically feel Mike's brain working in the space between them.

“Was there someone in Lenora? A guy?”

This makes Will's head turn to meet Mike's eyes. “No, no of course not. I've never… no.” There's only ever been you, he almost blurts. Mike nods and looks back up to the sky. “Why do you ask?”

“It’s just… in one of El’s letters, she said you were making a painting. Said that she thought you liked someone. A girl. Which, now I know, would’ve actually been a boy. And that made me… so… jealous. That's why, at the airport, I couldn't even hug you. I asked about what you were holding instead of how you were because it’s all I could think about since I read that letter. And at the skating rink, when you called me out, it felt like an attack. I knew it wasn’t right for me to not pay enough attention to El, to pay attention to you instead, but I couldn't help it. It was the first time we saw each other in almost a year and… I missed you more than I missed her. I tried to excuse it by telling myself that of course I would, I've known you so much longer, but it was so much more than that.” Will realizes Mike's hand is shaking. He flips his own over so he can interlock their fingers properly. Mike lets out a shaky breath.

“What clicked for me was… I was treating you and El the same way in my head. Like, thinking of you guys the same way, I guess. And I thought it was normal, that friendships and relationships just felt the same. But I didn’t feel that way about Dustin or Lucas. It was only you and the girl I was dating. And it made me freak out a little bit. Cause if i…. if i liked you like that… I felt like everything would change. It scared me. That’s why I tried to pull away. But I didn’t mean to hurt you so much. I just didn’t know how to handle what I was feeling. But that’s not an excuse, and I'll apologize for the rest of my life for how I treated you. I was just trying so hard to be… normal. And since I really did like being with El, I couldn't understand why it wasn’t enough. Why I couldn’t just be happy and treat her like I was supposed to. It still makes me so mad to this day that I couldn't. I like girls, but… but I like guys too. I-“ he sits up suddenly, looking down at Will with frantic eyes. “I like you.”

Will lays frozen for a second, his brain trying to catch up. He thinks he has to be dreaming. There's no way Mike would like him. After all this time of Will keeping his feelings in, trying his best to not make Mike uncomfortable, training his face to always look a certain way so Mike wouldn’t see everything written on it. His silence must be too much for too long because Mike shakes his head and starts talking again.

“Then you give the painting to me. And I thought ‘holy shit. Maybe this can work. Maybe he feels how I feel.’ But you said El commissioned it. Which, even in the moment, didn't feel right. El doesn’t like dnd or fantasy stuff, but I pushed the thought away and believed you. Because I needed to believe it. I needed to feel needed and loved. And you did that for me. I realize that now. ‘Cause it was never from El, was it? It was your heart poured out right in front of me, right?” Mike's voice has softened into the one only for Will, his thumb rubbing along the back of Will's hand.

Will sits up so they’re once again eye to eye, cross legged this time. His lips are quivering slightly and he’s trying not to cry again.

“I… I didn’t mean to lie. I just- I didn’t know what else to do.” Will can’t believe he’s letting himself finally admit it. He's really doing this. They're really doing this. “I didn’t think there was any way that you could like me like I like you. I thought you could only be happy with El, and I love and care about you both so much that I’d rather… I'd rather both of you be happy at my expense than me be selfish and use your pain to get closer to you.”

Mike's eyes are soft and clear. He's looking at Will like it’s the first time he’s seen him, like he hasn’t seen him every day for the past 13 years they’ve known each other. Like he’s something special.

“You actually like me, too?” He has the audacity to ask.

Will's mouth drops open slightly. Mike has a small smile on his face, along with a light blush.

“Obviously, Mike, oh my god,” he groans. “How can you be so smart, but so oblivious at the same time?”

They laugh a little together, breaking the tension. Mike pulls him into a tight hug. They hold each other, a new feeling in the space around them. It feels like hope. Like love.

“I still have it, by the way. The painting.”

“You do?” Will asks quietly.

“Of course. I actually-“ Mike blushes again. Will thinks it might be his new favorite thing to see. “I have all of the art you’ve made me. Like… ever. I look at them a lot, more than I should admit, maybe. Whenever I miss you or just… feel like I need you.”

Will closes his eyes and hugs Mike even tighter, rubbing his back a little, trying to express how much that means to him. He thinks Mike gets it in the way he sighs contentedly.

“I'm sorry, can I ask one more thing?”

Will sighs into Mike's neck playfully but nods.

“Who's Tammy?"

Will pulls away. “You remember that?”

“Of course, how could I not? You were looking at me during your whole coming out speech. I- I thought you were talking about me. Having a crush on me. I was going to pull you aside after, tell you I felt the same. But then… Tammy. And by the sound of it, it sounded like you were over this person. So instead of asking and trying to understand, I pulled away again. Like usual. I tried to get over you for what felt like the thousandth time.”

Will shakes his head. “It was about you. But, I wasn't over you. I was trying to be, because I thought it’s what I needed to do to get Vecna to leave you alone. Because if he knew how much you meant to me, and he hurt you because of it, I couldn't live with myself. It would’ve been my fault. Tammy is… she’s a story I heard from- someone. About their experience and how she was their unrequited crush. I thought they were telling me that you were that for me. But… you’re so much more than just a crush.” Will thinks he’s said too much, finally revealed how big his feelings really are. But, for once, he’s not scared. This is Mike. the boy he’s loved since he was 5. With all they’ve been through, something as small as revealing your feelings shouldn’t be a big deal anyway, right? But it’s definitely not nothing.

“I really should’ve just said fuck it and kissed you on that tower,” Mike says. Will blinks up at him with wide eyes, thinking he’ll be met with a joking smile, or something in Mike's eyes that says he doesn’t mean it, but Mike looks as serious as ever.

“‘No thanks. Best friends!’” He says in a higher pitched voice, letting go of Will’s hands to throw his own in the air. “I mean, what the fuck was I thinking? Are you serious? The prettiest boy you’ve ever seen is standing right in front of you, and happens to be the one person you trust the most on earth, and he just came out so you know he would accept you if you told him you were like him, and the world is literally fucking ending, and you say some shit like that?” He’s ranting to himself at this point, almost like he doesn’t know he’s saying it all out loud.

He thinks I'm pretty.

Will feels his face getting hot and can’t stop his big smile from growing. He can feel how heart shaped his eyes are right now, how his body leans towards Mike on its own accord. He grabs Mike's face to stop his ranting, and Mike freezes.

“Mike, It’s ok,” Will laughs. Will sees Mike's eyes land on his lips before coming back up to his eyes. “Thankfully, the world didn’t end, and we’ve finally talked. That's what matters, right?”

“You're right, but- I was so stupid, so oblivious, so blind. I didn't see what was right in front of me and to even talk about my own feelings I had to drink. It's pathetic. You deserve so much better. But I'm so selfish that I don't want you to have better. I want you to have me. I want you to let me have you. Even after how much of a shitty friend I was to you, I still want you to choose me. Even though I made you feel like I never chose you. I don't deserve you in any way, Will, but I’m- I’m still going to try. I can't not try. Not again.”

Will wipes over the dried tear tracks on Mike's face with his thumbs. “I want you, Mike. I've always wanted you and I always will. Even after everything… There's no other person I could imagine being with in my life. You're the only one who understands me, understands what I've been through. Even if none of this shit happened to us, I would still choose you. It’s always been you for me. From the moment we first sat here.” Will tilts his head towards the swing set.

Mike makes a shocked face, like he didn’t know when it’s always been so obvious. But, he really is oblivious, like he said. Will loves him anyway.

“I'm sorry I made you wait. I should've just sent those letters. I shouldn't have ignored you crying in the van. I’m so fucking dumb. I can't believe you even like me at all.”

“Mike. Please stop talking.” Will moves a hand up from Mike's face to run it through his wavy hair, Mike's hands are on Will's waist, and before he knows what’s happening, Mike pulls him onto his lap. Will gasps a little before giggling, repositioning himself so his legs are on either side of Mike. Mike's arms are tight around his middle, his head in Will’s neck, Will scratches his scalp lightly.

They stay like that, holding each other, all the words, all the confessions and truths in the air around them. Will can feel Mike's racing heart against his where their chests are pushed together, he guesses Mike can feel his too. He feels Mike's lips move against his neck a little, his chest rumbling with mumbled words. Will shivers a little.

“What did you say?” Will pulls his head back by his hair, as lightly as possible, but doesn’t miss the way Mike's eyes close and his mouth opens slightly.

His eyes flutter back open and he stares into Will’s, his face turning red again. There's only a few inches between them, if Will moves the slightest bit forward their noses would be touching.

“Can I kiss you?” Mike whispers into the space.

Will freezes for a second before beaming. He tears up again, but nods his head.

“Of course you can. Please kiss me.”

Mike's gaze drops to Will's lips. He grips his waist tighter, leaning forward until their lips brush just a little. Will sighs, eyes closing, hands now on Mike's shoulders. He squeezes, but doesn’t move other than that. Doesn’t want to ruin it. He feels Mike's breath on his lips. Then Mike finally kisses him properly.

Mike presses in, still soft, but enough pressure that it’s real. One hand goes to Will's jaw, tilting him just so, fitting their lips even more perfectly together. It's a little clumsy, Will doesn’t really know what he’s doing, but he lets Mike guide him. Lets Mike lead, like always.

Mike's lips are soft, a little dry and chapped, but so perfect against Will’s own. Mike’s moving slowly back and forth between his top and bottom lip, like he can’t decide which he likes better, and it’s making Will melt. His body is sinking into Mike’s, not caring that his legs are a little numb from sitting on the ground for so long. There's no place he’d rather be.

Mike stops suddenly, mouth still against Will’s, but not moving anymore. Will makes a questioning sound in his throat and Mike just holds him tighter, his hand sliding into his hair, and waits. Will is confused, but then it clicks. Mike wants Will to kiss him.

Will’s breath catches a little before he moves. He tries to copy what Mike did, starting with his bottom lip, before moving to his top. His lips are a little fuller than Will's own, he realizes. Will decides he likes Mike's bottom lip more and focuses on it, getting a little carried away, letting his teeth catch on it slightly. Mike takes a sharp breath in.

“I’m- I’m sorry,” Will says, pulling away, breathless. Mike's eyes are dilated when he opens them to meet Will’s.

“Don't apologize. Do it again.” His voice is low and a little rough, just as out of breath as Will. He pulls Will back in gently.

Will bites on his lip a little bit again, Mike groaning into his mouth. Will's whole body shivers in response, he feels dizzy. Mike finally starts kissing him back again, opening his mouth and running his tongue against Will's lips, just a little. Will opens his mouth, letting Mike once again take the lead.

Mike is even closer now, his nose pressing into Will’s cheek, his tongue running over his teeth. It's the most intimate thing Will’s ever done and he doesn’t know how to give back. He's frozen, Mike notices and pulls back again.

“Are you ok? Is it too much?” He asks softly, cupping Will’s cheek, thumb rubbing under his eye softly. Will shakes his head, looking away, embarrassed.

“Hey, it’s just me, right? You can tell me.” Mike coaxes Will’s eyes back to him.

“It’s just- I- I don’t-“ Will gestures between them like that explains anything, but Mike understands, eyes softening even more, somehow.

“I get it. Just do what feels right. You don’t have to be scared of anything. We'll both stop if something's not working, right?” Will nods and Mike smiles at him. “You’re a natural, by the way. Already one of the best kisses I've ever had.”

“Shut up, Mike,” Will's face is on fire and he pulls Mike back in to try to hide it from him. From how he’s still sitting on Mike's lap, he has to look down at him. He stares for a minute, at Mike's slightly swollen red lips, wet from their kisses, from Will. He sees Mike swallow, eyes big, looking back up at Will.

“I love looking up at you, you know? I don't know what it is. It just… feels right. Like I'm… worshipping you or something. Like this is where I'm supposed to be.”

Will's stomach flips and he drops his mouth back onto Mike’s to shut him up, to stop him from saying something else stupid and dumb and romantic. Will thinks he shouldn’t be this affected by this confession, that after everything he’s heard tonight, the thing that affects him most shouldn’t be Mike wanting to be below him. He shouldn’t be surprised, really. The amount of times Mike has lowered himself to look up into Will's eyes hasn’t gone without notice, but he just thought maybe Mike didn’t realize what he was doing. Now he knows it was always purposeful. Always right in front of him.

Mike's tongue is back in his mouth, but this time, Will runs his own over Mike's. Just lightly at first, testing it out, then following it back into Mike’s own mouth when he pulls away. Will traces the roof of Mike’s mouth, pulls back to lick at his lips a little, dives back in, hitting their teeth together. He wants to be closer. Wants to be more connected with Mike than anyone ever has. Wants to merge their bodies together. Mike seems to feel the same, if the way he’s pulling at Will’s hips and waist to get him even closer says anything. Will finally moves his hands from Mike’s shoulders where they’ve been this whole time. He holds the side of Mike's neck with one, burying the other back into his hair. He pulls his head back, a little harsher than he did before, to angle Mike's mouth better, make it drop open more. Mike lets out another choked groan. Will smiles against his lips.

After a little, Will pulls back. Mike follows his lips and Will laughs, resting their foreheads together. He traces Mike's flushed face with his eyes, feels Mike's hands play with the hem of his shirt under his jacket, not going under, just fiddling. They catch their breaths but don’t move away from each other, neither wanting to break the bubble they’ve created.

Eventually Will can’t ignore the needles in his legs anymore. He groans and regretfully pulls away from Mike's warmth. He stands, holding his hand out for Mike.

“My legs are so dead, you might need to carry me the rest of the way home,” he jokes. Mike's eyes light up, grabbing Will's hand and standing right away, turning so his back is to Will. “What are you doing?”

“You wanna be carried.” Mike looks over his shoulder, eyes bright and full of… some emotion Will still doesn’t want to name. Still scared to get his hopes up even after everything. “Hop on.”

“Mike, you picked me up for the first time ever tonight, you can’t piggyback me all the way home,” Will argues, but Mike just stares at him expectantly. Will sighs in defeat, grabbing Mike's shoulders once again to jump onto his back. Mike bounces him up further and grabs onto his thighs, wrapping them tighter around his waist as Will giggles into his neck, leaving small kisses there, just cause he can.

“If you keep doing that you’re gonna prove yourself right,” Mike says, gripping his thighs tighter. Will sighs, but stops with the kisses, resting his head on the back of Mike's shoulder instead as Mike starts walking.

“I can't believe we had our first kiss here,” Will says quietly, hands rubbing Mike's chest lightly where he can reach, not to start anything, just for comfort. To know it’s Mike, his Mike, that’s carrying him.

“I can’t think of a better place for it to have been, honestly,” Mike says.

“Were you… was this your plan? Is that why you brought us here?”

Mike thinks for a second. “Honestly, no. I did want to tell you how I felt tonight, I knew that, but I thought it would be in my basement. After we played dnd and everyone else left. That's why I didn't want to go to the party. But I guess… it did end up being for the best. I think I might've chickened out otherwise. The playground ended up being a bonus. Along with, ya know, everything else”

Will hummed in agreement, thinking about talking this all out in Mike's cramped basement, even though he loves being in there, feels suffocating. Will relaxes more against Mike's back, closing his eyes. He thinks over everything that they talked about. All the things they’ve been hiding for years. He didn’t know everything there was to know about Mike Wheeler, he thinks, but he can't wait to find out what more is hidden, things both big and small, in that head of his.

“Thank you for telling me, Mike. About everything.”

“Of course, you deserved to know. Thank you, truly. For trusting me and feeling safe enough to open up to me. And- I’m sorry, again.” Mike starts but Will grabs his face, turning it over his shoulder to kiss him. Mike stops in his tracks and kisses back.

“No more apologies, Michael," Will says firmly when he pulls back.

“I didn't lie when I said I'm gonna apologize for the rest of my life, William. You better get used to hearing it.”

“Guess I'm just gonna have to kiss you to shut you up constantly, then,” Will hums.

“I'm so ok with that. More than ok.” Will can see Mike's big smile from his back and he rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling too.

“So um…” Mike sounds suddenly nervous, Will can feel his fingers twitching on his legs. “Tomorrow. Would you wanna, maybe… see a movie? With me?”

“We see movies all the time, Mike," Will says, just to tease, just to see Mike squirm, even while Will himself feels like his heart is about to burst out of his body.

“No- I mean like, yeah we do, but like. This would be different.”

“Different how?” Will asks innocently.

“Will,” Mike groans, “you know what I mean.” Will doesn’t respond, Mike sighs, stops walking and puts Will on the ground. Will pouts and looks up at him when he turns around. Mike's eyes soften instantly, seeing Will's big eyes and pouted lips. He touches his face.

“Will, please accompany me to the theater tomorrow night, so we can go on a formal date, and hold hands, and share snacks, and then maybe get dinner afterwards?” Mike asks, voice soft and confident, suddenly. Will’s face breaks into a smile, eyes crinkling up.

“I thought you’d never ask,” Will says and hugs Mike tightly, arms thrown around his neck, standing up a little in his tippy toes. Mike's arms wrap just as tightly around his waist, nose once again buried in Will’s hair, his new favorite place.

“I know we’re kinda going out of order here, but… there’s something else I really want to say, too. A big word," Mike whispers in his ear. Will's heart stills.

“Mike…” he says on a breath. Squeezing him tighter, “you- you don’t-“

“I do, I-“ Mike pulls away, needing to look into Will's eyes. “I love you, Will. I have for a long time. I was just too stubborn, too scared, to believe it. But it’s always been there. It’s not leaving anytime soon. I already gave my heart to you years ago without even realizing it.” Mike looks so honest, his shoulders lower like he got rid of a weight he’s been holding. Will feels tears coming to his eyes for the umpteenth time tonight.

“I love you too, so much I can't even explain,” Will says, a tear falling only to be kissed away by Mike. “I’ve felt it for so long and it- it’s so big that I'm scared it’ll be too much for you. Like I'll scare you away or something if I show it too much.”

“You could never scare me away. Nothing you could do will make me leave you. Ever. Now that I have you, I don't plan on letting go. You’re stuck with me, sorry to say." Mike smiles bashfully. It's quiet, then Mike intertwines their fingers.

“Will,” he whispers. Will looks up, is met with Mike's face, looking more in love than Will has seen him all night. Like he finally stopped holding it back. It makes Will’s breath catch. “Be my boyfriend?”

Will kisses him, more tears falling. He's shaking, hands grabbing Mike to steady himself. Mike kisses him softly, grounding him like always. Will is overcome with emotions he’s been hiding his whole life, but they don’t hurt anymore. He feels free, he feels loved. And it’s even better that he’s feeling all of this with the person he’s been yearning for his whole life. He's ready for anything that comes to him now, now that he has Mike in the way he’s always wanted, always needed.

“We really are out of order, aren’t we?” Will laughs through his tears, Mike’s wiping his face again, smiling down at him.

“You didn’t answer,” he points out, softly. Will rolls his eyes but smiles, eyes shining.

“Of course I'll be your boyfriend, idiot.” He shakes his head lightly. “Shoulda asked me at the swings, though. Woulda been like, a full circle moment, or something,” Will teases, shoving Mike’s shoulder playfully. Mike grins, a mischievous look in his eye.

“Oh, we’ll be back to the swing set one day. There's still another question I have to ask you.” He turns from Will’s shocked face and pulls him along. “C’mon, we gotta get home. It has to be, like, 3 am by now.”

Will stumbles along behind him before he catches up to his side. “What do you mean by that, Mike?” His voice is slightly high pitched, face blushing, eyes wide, mouth open. Mike just smiles at him and raises an eyebrow.

“You're cute. You're sleeping in my room tonight, by the way. I'm not gonna miss out on another chance to cuddle with you ever again.”

“Can you please not act like what you just said was normal, oh my god,” Will whines, hiding his face in Mike’s arm. Mike lifts it and pulls Will into his side, kissing the top of his head.

“Nothing abnormal about it. Actually, maybe the most natural thought I've ever had.”

“Oh my god, shut up.”

Mike laughs, throwing his head back, and the two continue walking to Mike's house, a comfortable silence coming over them. Neither feeling the need to say anything more right now, they both know they have the rest of their years together for that, anyway.