Work Text:
Wei WuXian checked his reflection on the glass cover of the bulletin board outside the class, wondering if he would pass the vibe check, as he was considerably older than the rest of the students here. After a bit of deliberation he just decided to lean into his “leather twink persona” that his brother habitually mocked him for. Earrings, leather jacket, tight leather pants, tank top, all in black for today. He could switch to tops with funny slogans later.
He walked into the lecture hall, scanning the rows of students in various stages of getting ready for the class or chatting or minding their own business doing whatever they pleased. He took a deep breath as though inhaling it all. The scent of youth, ah.
A bit of throat clearing from the doorway prompted him to rush up the steps to the last rows. Professor Lan had arrived.
Wei WuXian sat down next to two boys in one corner of the last row.
“Professor Lan is so hot...” one of the boys whispered to his neighbor.
“Do you think he is single?” the neighbor asked with barely masked interest. Wei WuXian smiled to himself as he brought out his notepad and settled in. A side of gossip with a good lecture and a hot professor as the main dish was always nice. Wei WuXian decided to call them Student 1 and 2, tuning in for more.
Unaware of their new audience, Student 1 continued, “Who knows. He barely looks at the girls or the boys outside of the lecture halls... unless you go to his office to talk. Even then it's all business. I don't think he's interested in any of his students,” he said that last bit with a bit of sympathy towards his friend.
“Or faculty, I heard he shot down someone in Marketing the other day,” Student 2 offered in return.
“Who?”
“Oh that weird prof that tries to copy Prof Lan” Student 2 added in a stage whisper.
“Oh I think I know the one haha. Tries to dress like Professor Lan and ends up looking like a knockoff version.”
“Yeah. Anyway, yeah, you are right, Professor Lan is hot…” Student 2 continued wistfully. “and kind, and fair, but he's also like, so frosty. What a combination.” This was punctuated with a sigh. “Who can take that on?”
Wei WuXian couldn’t help the snicker. “I can,” he leaned over to say in a stage whisper too, before waving at the professor with a huge grin on his face.
“Heh? Who are you?” Student 2 looked at him doubtfully, not too pleased at this newbie joining in.
“Don't mind me, I'm just sitting in on a couple lectures,” Wei WuXian assured them, his smirk saying otherwise.
Student 1 was also suspicious of this random older- looking student who popped out of nowhere. “Why?”
“Why not? I heard he's hot” Wei WuXian winked at them, enjoying himself.
“Weirdo.” Both of the students sent him frowns. In the front, Lan WangJi lightly tapped the desk to call everyone’s attention before he began.
“Shh, class is starting, don't wanna miss anything.” Wei WuXian said, mostly to himself. He gave his gossip buddies a short wave and turned back to give all his attention to the professor. The lecture. Well, he was here for both.
****
Towards the end of the first week, Wei WuXian was very pleased with himself. He had managed to goad the very hot Professor Lan into three debates, tease him relentlessly the rest of the time, and on one occasion, even send over a paper plane from the middle rows featuring a sketch of Professor Lan with a peony tucked behind his ear. Said ear turned the loveliest shade of pink upon receiving the drawing. Wei WuXian was sure little pink hearts flew out from his own eyes at the sight.
“Do you think professor Lan has a cold?” he heard one of the students – oh, Student 2 from day one?- ask his companion.
“Why?”
“His ears are red almost always and his nose is twitching,” he remarked thoughtfully, digging through his backpack for something.
“His nose is twitching? What is he, a bunny? Focus on the class more you dummy,” Student 1 elbowed his friend, “we have a test next week.”
“Go away, I'm going to talk to Professor Lan.”
Wei WuXian watched, intrigued. Ignoring the hissed warnings from his friend, this kid bravely walked up to where Professor Lan was gathering his things at the dais.
Mustering all his courage, he held out a small box. “Professor Lan, please take this.”
Lan WangJi looked up, mildly surprised. Hardly anyone approached him right after a lecture. All his students knew to come visit him during allotted hours for doubts and extension requests. “What is this?”
“It's ginger tea, it also has honey, you just need to add hot water to it.” This student said hurriedly.
Surprise gave way to confusion. “Thank you, but why would you –”
Seeing his face now, the student seemed to run out of steam, stammering, “I.. I think you, well you might have a cold, your ears. Um.. always red.”
Bright laughter interrupted the stilted exchange. Wei WuXian danced up the steps to join them, looking as though he took pity on this poor brave soul. “Here, let me,” he took the box out of the boy’s hands and gave it to Lan WangJi, who took it from him automatically. “I'll carry your books to the staff room,” he grabbed the book and the sheaf of papers, patted Lan WangJi on the shoulder. “And you can hold this tea packet, Professor Lan. Come, I'm walk you there. See you tomorrow, kid,” he finished with a careless wave and a smile as he propelled a confused-looking Lan WangJi off the dais and out of the classroom with his elbow.
“Who is your kid?” the boy grumbled, dejectedly shuffling out of the room with his friend.
*
“Lan Zhan, you have such devoted students.” Wei WuXian balanced the book on a fingertip, trying to twirl it around. He swooped to catch it when it fell.
“Your fault,” Lan WangJi accused him, rescuing the book and papers from him.
Wei WuXian grabbed the box of tea bags and played with it. “Mm?”
“My ears. They noticed.”
“Ha? Ahaha.. Hahaha okay okay I won't tease. You are so cute though.” He turned around and started walking backwards, his smile bright enough to melt icebergs. Lan WangJi stood no chance. “What do you want for dinner tonight, Lan Zhan? I know, I know,” he held up both hhands in surrender, “working day, we can stay in.”
One delicate eyebrow arched up at that. “Are you offering to cook?”
“I can get your groceries~~” he sang it out, laughing. “You cook, I'll watch. I love watching you. Come on, it’s a date.”
Lan WangJi was unable to stop his lips from curving up, incredibly fond of this charming menace he called Wei Ying. “Watch where you are going…” The hallway was full of teachers and students going about their business.
Wei WuXian shrugged, unbothered as kept walking backwards, eyes sparkling with mischief. “You can watch for me. You like to watch me, too,” he wagged his brows suggestively.
Lan WangJi shook his head in surrender, grabbing his sleeve to guide him as they walked.
Later that day, the forlorn kid with the tea bags had his heart broken again. A friend of his heard a friend of hers had heard Professor Lan and a student flirt outside the staffroom, huddled in a corner by the stairs! Scandalous! They even saw them kiss?!
Wei WuXian crowded Lan WangJi into the wall, getting in his space, his big watery eyes turned up to max power. “Come on, Professor Lan. Its just a few days a week. Barely a week altogether. Please say yes? Pretty please ..?”
“Two more weeks. People will talk if you are in my class every day, Wei Ying,” he pointed out reasonably. “You should be at the other end of the campus.”
“But I miss you,” Wei WuXian stuck out his bottom lip in an adorable pout, “Promise I won't skip the lectures over there.”
Lan WangJi sighed. “Wei Ying.” He wanted to bite the pout off those pretty glossy lips. He wanted to devour Wei Ying. But that was an urge he constantly resisted during work hours.
“Let me have my secret college romance ah, please Professor Lan,” he wound his arms around Lan WangJi’s neck for good measure. “Please please please..?”
Lan WangJi crumbled, as usual. His hands came up to settle at their righful spot; around Wei WuXian’s waist. “Alright.”
“Good boy, Lan Zhan. Now gimme a kiss to seal the deal..” satisfied, he pulled Lan WangJi down for a smooch.
Neither of them noticed two female students nearby, with their jaws on the floor.
***
Gossip reached his uncle somehow. Lan WangJi sighed, thinking of what his brother called old-people’s-network. Somehow their upright, uptight uncle who apparently disdained gossip knew everything that went on in their college.
“WangJi. What is this I hear about you and a student?” the mildly irritated voice of his beloved uncle came over the phone loud and clear. He might as well be standing in front of Lan WangJi, judgement rolling off him in waves.
“Wei Ying is auditing my class for a week.” Lan WangJi answered dutifully.
There was a brief silence, followed by a terse, “Tell him to not make a spectacle out of it.”
“He would never.”
“Hmph. I want to know when he is done with the audits. He promised to take a look at the sprinklers for me.”
Now Lan WangJi smiled. This grudging friendship his uncle had with Wei Ying was amusing to both the Lan brothers. “Alright.”
Lan WangJi finished the call and opened a window, looking out. “Wei Ying.”
“Yes baby?” Wei WuXian called back from their little vegetable garden, smiling and waving at Lan WangJi as he turned off the garden hose.
“Uncle asked us to go over when you are done with the audits.”
“Ah yes, his sprinklers.” Wei WuXian walked into the kitchen, going over to clean up at the sink. “Hey did he call for that? I keep all my promises,” he pouted, mildly offended.
“No,” Lan WangJi handed him a towel to dry his hands, leaning in to drop a quick kiss on Wei WuXians cheek. “he called to ask about my supposed affair with a student.”
“Oooh look at you, Professor Lan. Having a scandalous affair and everything. How will you compensate poor little me?” he plastered himself to Lan WangJi, neither of them bothered by the dirt and plant debris on him.
“I'll draw you a bath first,” Lan WangJi leaned down to kiss the smirk off his lips, “then I'll make love to you. Slowly.”
“Ah, Lan Zhan you smooth-talker,” Wei WuXian buried his face in his chest, cheeks on fire, blushing like a teen. “Warn a man before you say such things!”
“Mn, warning you now.” Lan WangJi smiled, hugging him closer. “I'll make love to you in the bath… then I'll take you to bed and make love to you again.”
“Lan Zhan!!” Wei WuXian squealed, beating Lan WangJi’s arms half-heartedly. “You have to feed me too.”
“Of course. And then we can go again.” He scooped up his blushing, squealing Wei Ying in both arms and walked off to the master bedroom. “Bath first.”
Wei WuXian kept up his routine of flirting with Lan WangJi every second he could at the college. Staffroom, library, hallways, carpark, cafeteria. No place was sacred. “Hey Professor Lan. You are so pretty. And hot. And frosty. Such a delicious combo, can I have you for lunch?”
“Wei Ying. We just had lunch.”
“Mm, then I want dessert. One quick peck?”
“Alright.”
“One more~~”
The teachers outside the staffroom pretended not to see or hear. Any students loitering about that saw or heard flew off to alert friends and group chats immediately.
Teabag kid, as Wei WuXian now called him, had his heart crushed again. He dragged his friend into his heartbreak again, unwilling though he was. “Did you hear? Professor Lan was seen kissing the new student!! More than once!!”
“Who?”
“The stairs near the library and the parking lot!!”
“He kissed the stairs and the parking lot?”
“No you idiot, the new goth boy! The one with the painted nails and ripped jeans!”
“No way!! How did he hook professor Lan?” much as he was disinterested in his his friend's ill-fated crush, good tea was always appreciated and meant to be shared. “I thought he was everything Professor Lan did not like?”
“I know right?!! He's loud, he laughs all the time, never takes notes when he should, scribbles away when he shouldn't, he's obnoxious with all the questions, he argues with Professor Lan all the time with that infuriating smirk! He always insists on walking Professor Lan to the staff room and pretends to be so familiar with him.. and and he has that messy but charming ponytail that looks like it was styled that way effortlessly but I'm sure he spends hours on it.. and he dresses in all black!! Or red!! Or black and red!! And he-”
“Hold up. Are you in love with him too? You seem to pay an awful lot of attention to him.”
“What? No. He's just. Well whatever he's cool I guess. But he's the opposite of Professor Lan!”
“Well. If they are both consenting adults I guess..”
“He is a student. It's inappropriate.”
“He's not even in our class. Which batch is he in by the way, does anyone know?”
“No, but people have seen him around the Engineering building a lot. He hangs out with those professors too. My sources say he sits in on a lot of people's lectures. Who has the time? When does he study? Maybe he just likes older people?”
“Okay, so he's probably in Engineering, and if he has this much spare time he’s one of those students.”
“What do you mean those students?”
“Smart ones who don't need to slog like the rest of us. And evidently he can charm all these professors. We’ve already seen how he has debates with Professor Lan in class, he is crazy smart. Maybe Professor Lan likes brains over beauty.”
Teabag kid muttered, “It's not like he's a pain to look at.”
His buddy laughed. “Maybe you are in love with him.”
“Shut up.” He said miserably. The gossip mill was pretty strong now, with a lot of believable details and witnesses. Professor Lan was smitten.
Teabag kid’s misery peaked a week later as he walked up to another one of Professor Lans lectures with his friend.
“Guys! Guys we have a guest lecturer today!” one of their mutual friends ran up to them with the news.
“Guest lectures are usually boring. What’s this one about?” his friend asked.
“I don’t know, some researcher and/or tech startup CEO. It's supposedly this hot guy who looks like he could be an actor? And came in with Professor Lan and his uncle this morning and I wanna know the tea because you know how he was all over that mystery student last month? Apparently he's all over this one now!”
Teabag snagged one detail from that dialog. “This guy was received by grumpy old man HOD Lan? And Professor Lan?”
“Yeah and the staff room is abuzz like he's some celebrity, I'm dying of curiosity.”
“Yo. Did you guys hear?” another one joined the trio. “The guest lecturer is apparently Professor Lan’s husband!”
“Wait what? He's married? What about that student from Engineering? And he brought his husband here? The scandal omg!”
“Right? Let's go see who it is, I wonder how hot he is if he bagged Professor Lan…”
“If he’s that hot why would professor Lan have an affair?”
“It was barely a week…” Teabag mumbled. He was holding onto some hope if Professor Lan was actually seeing a student. Because that meant his own chances were better than absolute zero.
“Damn we are late! Old man Lan would chew us out if it were him.”
“Its not him though, lets go in- what the. why is the hall packed?”
“Why are people taking pictures?” they crowded near the door, at risk of spilling outside the hall any moment.
“That’s professor Lan’s husband?!”
“Okay all the rumors are true, he is very hot.”
Teabag was more shocked than his friends. “Isnt that the mystery student?!”
“He’s not a student he was auditing the lecture!” someone next to him answered.
“Why was he auditing Music Theory for a month?” Teabag could not comprehend any of this.
“He audited a lot of profs! He just said! Music theory was just one of them!” the same person answered.
“What is going on? Why is he waving lollipops?” Teabag’s friends were more curious about that. Their hearts were not at stake.
“Professor Lan invited him for a guest lecture!”
“That's a singing lollipop! See, he's demonstrating.”
“It's a what?”
“Tech and music, two of his favorite things apparently. You bite on it and it sings! Bone conduction. He's brought a few for us to try! Look they are giving them out.”
“Who is this guy?!!”
“Professor Lan’s husband!”
“He's got dozens of patents.”
“And he's published some papers.”
“He founded this tech startup-”
“He said they coach this kid’s team on the weekends together-”
Teabag still had one foot in a pit of disbelief. “Half of all this has to be a lie..”
“Nope we looked him up. Here’s his Weibo.”
“Is that professor Lan in all those pictures?!”
“Its over, man,” his best friend patted Teabag sympathetically. “Nobody here ever had a chance. They've been together for a long time, it seems.”
Everything made sense now. The debates, the teasing, Professor Lan’s red ears, the flirting and kisses. This man was brilliant and handsome and accomplished, truly Professor Lan’s match. Nobody here stood a chance.
Wei WuXian spotted Teabag and waved, coming over happily with a basket of the singing candies. His kind, charming smile shattered the last of Teabags hopes.
“Hey, it's you! I like you, kid, thanks for keeping me entertained this past month. Here, have a lollipop.”
Thus ended one boy’s long standing crush and Lan WangJi’s apparent affair with some mystery student. Life went back to normal.
Wei WuXian went over with his husband to his ancestral home to adjust the timers for their uncle the next day. Uncle and nephew-in-law spent the evening debating fertilizers and crop rotation choices while Lan WangJi and his brother cooked dinner.