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Aki has been acting weird, in Denji’s opinion. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, because he treats both Denji and Power more patiently and tenderly than ever.
Counter to his gentler words and permissiveness towards certain things like allowing them more desserts and not nagging them about when they’re supposed to go to bed, he still makes Denji do chores, perhaps even a bit more than usual.
Which wouldn’t be a problem, if it weren’t for the fact that he makes Power do less housework if none at all. It’s not that he’s jealous, but the sudden change in attitude is strange.
These days he often calls Denji over to the kitchen to help him cook. This action could easily be explained with Aki’s number of arms having been decreased, meaning he wouldn’t be able to do several stuff with only one hand. Though Denji finds the constant overdetailed instructions, even for simpler things, unnecessary. He might as well watch and learn while he’s there. Maybe every once in a while he could relieve Aki from the burden of cooking. And of course, keeping Power as far away from the stove as possible has turned out to be a golden rule of the household.
But where the reason for Aki’s oversentimental behavior originates from, still remains a mystery for Denji. He could understand why Power needs to be treated more leniently, therefore her fear of the darkness, but Denji didn’t experience any post-traumatic stress regarding himself, so he might be just a little worried about why he deserves this bilateral treatment.
He asked Power if she had also noticed these new habits of Aki’s, but as per usual even if she had any perception about the current situation, with a short “how would I know, does it matter?” she had already swept the question under the rug. Denji knew that from that moment on he had to take matters into his own hands if he wanted proper answers. And so the interrogation began.
At first he only subtly hinted at the question “what’s up with you”, and at his curiosity towards Aki’s mood changes. Sometimes he merely rejected it when Aki asked him to do something he hadn’t asked him to do before to observe his reaction. This reaction wasn’t any more than a sigh and resignation from his side. Moreover, it made Denji feel bad about denying his requests. Later, he dared to question the reason for the increase in the number of his assigned tasks.
“You’re starting to get used to living with people. I cannot be the only one who supports us forever.” logical, one person would think, but this still doesn’t explain his excessive permissiveness.
One evening they ordered takeout from one of their favorite restaurants with the explanation that Aki didn’t feel like cooking. This had been one of the worst lies so far. Aki liked cooking, even after the loss of his arm. Another day they held a board game night, which Power usually enjoyed immensely if they played whatever she wanted. On a third occasion after a long day of cleaning the whole apartment Aki rewarded his roommates with a whole tub of Neapolitan ice cream. They never get any recompense for their completed duties. Or, well, maybe sometimes when Power exceeds herself with a task she would normally completely avoid.
Denji tried to enjoy these moments, but not knowing why they happen and for why are they worthy of all this, he had a hard time doing so. On the other hand seeing Power appeased, and slowly returning to her old energetic self, put something at ease in Denji’s heart too.
One time Aki pulled Denji aside to tell him that he does these little surprises to lighten Power’s mood. This worked like a wonder, Denji even believed him. Or, well, of course he believed him. What good could Aki gain from Power’s distress? But still, he couldn’t shake the feeling that there was an ulterior motive behind his kindliness.
Denji could totally feel silly for not believing Aki’s explanations for his actions presented towards them. He wasn’t that careless though. The concerning thing was that Aki smoked way more than he usually did and he was consuming cigarette after cigarette like there was no tomorrow. He kept everything more organized, with his own belongings in the lead as if he could leave any moment. There were much less expirable products in the fridge than there usually are, and he cooked just enough for the three of them for it to be enough for one meal.
He smiled too much. This sounds weird in itself, but Aki was never the jolly type, and even if he found something extremely entertaining, he tried to minimize his enjoyment. Now he didn’t hide his smile from Denji and Power. Anything that lifted his spirits even slightly made the apples of his cheeks pop.
One night when Aki was smoking his thirteenth cigarette of the day on the balcony Denji didn’t wait for him to come back into the apartment, filling it with the smell of tobacco. Aki stood in front of the railing of the balcony observing the suburban landscape. This was also one of his new habits, abandoning his chair in the corner, but this one didn’t compare to his other ones, it felt quite marginal. He didn’t take his eyes off of the scenery even after sensing Denji’s presence beside him. He did put out his cigarette though, because he didn’t like smoking near Denji and Power. They didn’t like it either, so that was mutual.
“You’ve been smoking a lot these days,” said Denji finally “Have you noticed?”
“Hm.” Honestly, Denji didn’t expect a proper response, but he would’ve appreciated if he didn’t ignore his question.
A few seconds later “But not just that,” he tried laying out the topic calmly because he didn’t want to distress Aki, but there was obviously something bothering him that he didn’t want to share with Denji. For a fleeting moment he even considered not bothering him any more with this, because suddenly a dreadful feeling washed over him which suggested he shouldn’t pursue this matter any further. That he didn’t really want to know the answers to his questions, and that his curiosity is harmful, but the said curiosity had already crushed those thoughts. “Do you notice anything you do these days?” it was hard for him to suppress the vexation in his voice.
Aki finally turned towards him. “What do you mean?”
“You’re joking, right?”
Aki was starting to get annoyed by Denji’s indirectness, even though he knew exactly what he was getting at and feared that the boy had already seen through him. “I’ve already told you my reasons for the way I do things differently. Is there anything else that’s bothering you?” he let his irritation seep into his voice.
After a moment of silence of Denji contemplating whether Aki’s words are honest or not, he spoke up again, not caring any more about showing his emotions anymore. “You do everything to make us happy, or help me become more independent, or whatever you want to do with me. And I see that you’re trying to come across as happy too, but every day you’re breaking your daily number of cigarettes smoked record, and don’t think I haven’t noticed that something is bothering you, because I have.”
“Denji, I can assure you that you don’t have to worry about me.” He tried to keep his voice calm in hopes of also cooling Denji off.
“Don’t come with that! You know I won’t leave you alone until you tell me what’s happening with you?”
Aki carefully contemplates his next words. He didn't want to declare his reasons for is actions in the past few days, but neither did he want to leave Denji here in the dark. If he tells, he can only improve on this case. He doesn’t have to tell the complete truth, only a small part of it will soothe Denji’s curiosity.
"There's barely anything left in the fridge-" Denji continued.
"I made a contract with the Future devil." Denji abruptly shut up, and furrowed his brows in anticipation, waiting for Aki's next words.
"I will die soon." left his lips like these words had been the ones to seal his fate.
It took Denji a few seconds to process the sentence. His brows shot up and his eyes widened. Blood pounded in his ears, the silence was so thick it could suffocate them both. “Is this a bad joke?” He asked, his voice devoid of hope.
Aki broke eye-contact instead of answering because they both knew damn well he didn’t just joke around. He didn’t need to confirm his statement.
“Please, tell me you’re joking.” The desperation could clearly be heard in Denji’s voice.
“I wanted to leave with good memories remaining with you two.” He said as he finally looked Denji in the eye. “And you to be able to live on your own.”
“What do-“
Before Denji could question if he had only meant Denji on his own by ‘you’, Aki quickly cut in. “I wanted to prepare you somehow… I didn’t realise I did such a bad job at hiding it. But maybe, it’s better this way.”
Denji leaned onto the railing, and for a while he only stared into the middle-distance before grabbing onto his hair, and speaking softly. A sour expression etched into his face. “When I finally believed that everyone left who had and hadn’t needed to. When…” He wished he hadn’t told him. He wished he hadn’t asked. Aki sensed that if any of them say one more word, Denji would burst into tears.
He didn’t know what could be done in this situation. He stood there, dumbfounded. He hadn’t known what to expect when he informed Denji about these news, he didn’t have much time to contemplate that anyway, but he was utterly surprised to see the young boy so affected by it. It was never really clear for him, what his roommates’ opinions were regarding him, but he didn’t think they had any profound feelings for him. His two housemates’ love language was something that could’ve been explored by Aki if he had time to spend with them.
He didn’t know when it happened, but one day he realized those two had grown on him. At once he found them becoming the dearest people to him. Back then it was hard to notice, but now it was clear that both of them had gone through major improvement in such a short time period. Not because they’ve become stronger – which they have – but because they’ve learned to love and take care of each other. Or maybe the case was that they awakened the great amount of love that had been hiding in the deepest nooks and crannies of their soul, which they had no idea they had. After years away from proper civilization they both started living among humans so suddenly, and they both learned how to live in fellowship in their own way, which Aki is indescribably proud of. Denji and Power had come to resemble a family to him.
Thus seeing Denji so stricken awakened something in Aki. Something that he himself wouldn’t be able to put into words.
After a few seconds, which felt like an eternity, Denji spoke up. “I don’t want you to die.”
All of a sudden Aki’s eyebrows knitted together, and sorry consumed his whole being. It wasn’t pity, nor regret but now with the suspense that the people he appreciated the most might share that feeling, his heart clenched for them. He hadn’t expected to get to know the feeling of being grieved.
After a sniff Denji continued. “You made a mistake… You didn’t take it into account that, even if it doesn’t always seem like it, but we also do care for you. You’ve become very important to me, and I think outside of her earshot, I can speak in Power’s stead too. I’m glad you told me because otherwise I wouldn’t ever have had the opportunity to tell you this.”
A few seconds ago Aki was contemplating whether he regretted sharing this intel, but now he was reassured it had been a good decision.
“You deserve so much more than you get, you gave us a home and put up with us and we ungrateful assholes couldn’t even give you a kind word in return.” Denji rubbed on his eyes with the back of his arms, getting rid of any signs of tears and fears and anything of that sort.
“Denji, you needed- you needed someone to learn how to live a normal life from. That’s why they moved you here. You aren’t a burden to me.” He thought that could’ve served as comfort or assuagement, but it appeared he had achieved just the opposite.
Tears began to run down Denji’s cheeks, which he could no longer control, and gave up trying to soothe his sobs. “You might have been forced to at first but you were the first one who actually cared for me, the first one who cooked for me and at your place I slept in a proper bed for the first time. I could only dream of these things before. You taught me that my dreams aren’t very ambitious, which is okay… But toast with jam is the subsistence level for everybody else, which I considered a luxury up until a few weeks ago. My life nowadays is well over luxurious compared to the one before. And I have people around me who I can count on.” He took a break from his monologue to wipe his tears away. “You two are the very first people who I can call a family.”
Denji never really regarded himself as someone of great sentiment. He hadn’t cried for a long time, and didn’t think he would again so soon. The burning feeling in his head felt odd, but not unfamiliar. It reminded him of his young days, when his biggest problems didn’t include deciding what to eat for breakfast. But rather him starving or freezing to death. Whether a friend or him dying is worth more to dwell on is something he hadn’t decided yet.
Some kind of old instinct had taken over Aki then. He was struck to see Denji showing his emotions so openly, but also very proud and special. Prying one’s feelings open like this requires a great deal of trust.
A quick wave of panic washed over Denji as of his last sentence, but he didn’t have any time to consider the awkward personal disclosure that had left his mouth last, because in the next moment Aki hugged Denji’s torso with his leftover arm.
Some seconds later it had reached Denji’s hot brain what was happening to him and immediately returned the embrace, throwing his arms around Aki with all his might. Uncontrollable sobs escaped his lungs, his shoulders shaking with each one of them. His face swam in tears and snot, staining Aki’s shirt. Aki was soothingly caressing the top of Denji’s head, patiently waiting for the boy to cry his eyes out.
Denji grabbed onto Aki’s shirt like his life depended on it, and never planned to let it go as his knuckles whitened.
“Please, don’t tell Power” Whispered Aki when he judged that Denji had calmed down enough to hear anything over his sniffs and whimpers. He suspected, or hoped that Power was less curious about this whole ordeal.
Denji nodded into his shoulder while letting out a shaky breath. After a few more deep breaths and rubs on the back Aki started to lower his hands from Denji’s head to which he only responded by strengthening his grip on Aki’s upper body signaling that he isn’t ready to let go. Neither literally nor metaphorically.
After a while Aki asked him. “Aren’t you tired?” Yes. Of course he was, but at the moment he was absolutely not in humor to go to bed. Despite that, he nodded once again, loosening his hands around Aki.
Aki completely came undone from his embrace, and took a step back to look at him. The boy in front of him looked like a puppy whose owner left him out in the rain, his face still wet and looking down, as if he was trying to avoid eye-contact, ashamed of being seen in this state.
Aki leaned down a little to look him in the eyes. “Do you want to go to sleep?” Denji dipped his head lower, and Aki took that as a yes.
He went ahead back into the apartment, looking back at the doorstep to see if Denji is following him. Which he did after a few seconds of hesitation, so Aki made his way into his bedroom with Denji in tow.
Aki got into bed, and patted the place next to him to invite Denji under the covers, who without a second thought made himself comfortable by Aki’s side. He wasn’t crying anymore, but Aki still reached an arm around him for good measure.
Not long passed before they heard steps outside the bedroom door, and soon a horned silhouette in the doorway. Power didn’t question what happened to Denji to have been found in this wretched condition, only laid next to Aki wordlessly when he gestured for her to come over.
They needn’t mention it, because they all knew very well that the past days have been hard for each and every one of them, and Power won’t blame Denji for being under the weather as well. They both suffered through this period, and dealt with its hardships in their own way, helping each other in the process. Denji knew it is nowhere near over, as did Aki, but it is unnecessary for them to be talking or thinking about that right now, when at the moment all three of them were together, pressed against the sides of Aki, listening to his heartbeat and feeling the fall and rise of his chest as he takes steady breaths.
Aki is alive, and they’re going to enjoy his presence while it lasts.