Chapter Text
The cafe is slow and nearly empty. Inside, you and Megumi are sitting at a table by the window. He sips at his black coffee while you conquer an elaborate vanilla milkshake. Megumi eyes your drink warily, looking at the pile of whipped cream, caramel syrup, crushed Oreos, and sprinkles.
"Are you really gonna finish that?" he asks dubiously.
You look up, wiping a bit of whipped cream off your cheek. "Are you calling me fat?"
"No, I'm questioning how you can drink that cup of straight pre-diabetes without a problem," he retorts.
"You're drinking shit water right now," you tell him. "I'm not taking feedback from you."
He frowns at you. "It's not shit water. It's coffee."
"What, so you're drinking it for the taste? 'Hmm, this shit water acid tastes simply exquisite!'" you mock. "'Never has been there a drink as fine as this shit water acid!'"
Megumi rolls his eyes. He knows he can't beat you in a bullshit competition. "Quit insulting my taste palate and think about the mission."
Oh, shit.
As soon as you got your hands on a milkshake, all thoughts of curses had flown out of your mind entirely. The two of you are supposed to be on a mission to retrieve a Special Grade cursed object from a local Sendai high school, but you dragged Megumi into a nearby cafe not even ten minutes after getting off the bullet train.
(Privately, Megumi thinks he gives into your whims way too easily.)
"The mission?" you ask, before correcting yourself. "Oh, yeah. Totally. The mission. What're you talking about, Megs? All I think about is my duty to the jujutsu world. We're gonna lock in and get the... Hang on, what was the cursed object again?"
It's silent in the cafe before he groans, dragging his hands down his face. "How do you forget that you're supposed to grab one of Sukuna's fingers?"
You snap your fingers, pointing at him with finger guns. "Right! Sukuna's finger. The big S-Dog."
"Do not call Sukuna 'S-Dog.'"
"It's in the little wooden cabinet, right? The one that Gojo-sensei sent me a picture of?" You shovel more of the milkshake into your mouth. By now, you're more than halfway done with your drink.
Megumi sighs with the exhaustion that people around you often seem to carry for some reason. "Yes. How are we going to get it without being noticed?"
"You're gonna let me come up with the plan?" you ask, brightening and sitting up straight. "Are you serious?"
"No, I—"
"—I'll call Gojo-sensei right now and ask if he can rent a helicopter for us—"
"—meant for it to be a point of discussion." The boy's expression contorts, and he looks at you in disbelief. "A helicopter?"
You've gathered a tiny bit of cursed energy at the tip of your index finger and started drawing on a napkin. The concentration of the cursed energy leaves thin scorch marks on the material, effectively turning your finger into a tiny writing instrument. "Drop in, drop out. Like Tom Cruise, y'know?"
You finish the drawing and show it to Megumi. It's an ugly sketch of you and him descending on a rope from a helicopter. Maybe the triangles I drew on his head to represent his hair are too unflattering.
He slides the napkin back across the table. The expression on his face is obvious: he's amazed that you're becoming a sorcerer instead of pursuing a career in the arts, where you truly belong. "I'm concerned about your cognitive abilities," he tells you.
"But impressed by my artistic abilities?" you ask. "You can keep it, by the way, if you think it's so beautiful."
"I'll pass. If we go get the finger right now, we can make it back to Tokyo in time for dinner."
"You wanna waltz onto campus, pick up a suspicious-looking box, and waltz out in the middle of the school day?" you point out, adding Gojo to your drawing as the helicopter pilot. "Plus, if something goes wrong, there's gonna be way more bystanders."
Megumi wonders why your brain seems to function sometimes and other times is replaced by soup. "I guess," he grumbles. "What're we gonna do until then?"
You tap your chin, thinking. "We can go at, like, nine in the evening or something like that. There's a department store around here. We could drop by."
He glares at you with the strength of a thousand suns.
"Why not?" You pout at him. No way he's still mad about that.
"Last time we 'dropped by' a department store," he grits out, "we spent four hours there. Four hours straight, and I spent two of them in the dressing room."
You snicker. "Oh, c'mon. You looked beautiful, Megs. I'm sure I have a picture of you with the fedora somewhere in my room."
He lunges at you, and the two of you engage in a brief scuffle as Megumi tries to kill you. Nearly a minute passes before a waitress arrives, arms crossed and unimpressed. You separate, finish your drinks meekly, and leave the cafe.
"You almost got us kicked out of a cafe," Megumi grouses as you trek side by side through the streets.
"I almost got us kicked out?" you repeat incredulously, turning on him. "You attacked me! That was a full assault and battery charge, Megumi Fushiguro."
He doesn't look guilty at all. "You baited me into it."
It's funny. Megumi's never been a very playful person, and the idea of publicly humiliating himself by trying to choke someone from across a table is so out of character that it's hard to believe that he really did that. But you always seem to bring out an inexplicable silliness in him — a competitive and childish side that he tries so hard to keep under wraps.
Probably because he'd never be able to keep up otherwise, he supposes as you grab his arm and haul him into another cafe. More than anything, Megumi wants to keep up with you.
"Maaan," you say, stretching your arms as you walk across the grass, "it reeks here for miles out."
Megumi doesn't spare you a glance. "I was wondering when the last time you showered was."
"I was talking about the cursed energy."
"Sure you were."
You're considering a sequel to the coffee brawl when the cabinet finally is visible. The two of you walk over. Megumi looks relieved, but you're a little confused.
"I should be getting a way stronger presence from the cursed object if I'm standing right next to it," you tell him. "But it feels pretty much the same."
He frowns at you. "Are you joking?"
"Why would I be joking? I'm always serious when the situation calls for it," you defend yourself.
"..."
"..."
"...That time when you got trapped under the rubble and I tried to help you out, but you—"
"—Okay, okay. Got it. But yeah, I mean it this time."
You exchange a look with him. Megumi reaches for the cabinet, opening it.
It's empty.
Immediately, both of you scramble to check the area around the cabinet. At some point, Megumi is lying on top of it while you're crawling under it. It's a comical sight, admittedly, but the impending sense of doom that comes with every second you can't find the finger makes it pretty hard to laugh, even for you.
"What's with that position? Do you need someone to crack your back for you?" Okay, apparently not that hard to laugh.
"Not funny," Megumi scolds you as he stands back up.
You slide out from underneath the box, standing next to him. "Yeah, we're fucked. We should probably tell sensei."
"No shit. Hopefully he'll come over and figure it out on his own."
Real likely, both of you think.
You're about to speak again when Megumi's eyes widen and he reaches for you. "Curse! Behind you!"
Something slams into the spot you're standing on, and dirt clouds the air. When the dust clears, you've landed lightly on a nearby tree and a fairly large curse is between the two of you. Megumi's Divine Dogs are already out, and so is your phone. You're typing away at it, texting Gojo.
"Dude, that's gotta be a Grade 2 at the least," you say, leaping out of the tree and vaulting over the curse's tail as it comes sweeping for you again. "It's so ugly. Doesn't it kind of look like that one classmate we had in middle school? Whoops, I made a typo."
"Get off your phone," Megumi calls back, shikigami already surging forward.
"And it's too weak to have the finger," you note. You flick your fingers, blasting it with a ball of cursed energy about half the size of your fist. It blows the left side of the curse apart, leaving it howling and staggering. "Also, you literally told me to let sensei know."
"Not in the middle of a fight, dumbass!"
"C'mon, Megs. This hardly counts as a fight! It's basically exorcised now." You stop to tap at your phone again.
Nuclear Warhead Student!! (*ˊᗜˋ*)
the finger or toe or whatever isnt hewr
*here
sorry getting attacked by a curse rn
Harbinger of Doom Sensei!! (*´▽`*)
Hey Siri respond to nuclear warhead student
exclamation mark exclamation mark. No
respond to nuclear warthog no warhead Siri
are you stupid don't send don't send
Nuclear Warhead Student!! (*ˊᗜˋ*)
bro are u using text to speech afaon
*argai
*again
Harbinger of Doom Sensei!! (*´▽`*)
Hey Siri respond to nuclear warhead student
exclamation mark exclamation mark. Sorry
can't read right now I. only have 2 hands and
they're both full of snacks Siri send Siri send
Siri get your shit together cursed technique
lapse blue
Nuclear Warhead Student!! (*ˊᗜˋ*)
ok i think ur busy so ttyl
ill make megs call u in a sec
He rolls his eyes. "Not yet," Megumi replies evenly. The curse reaches for you, weakened, but his Divine Dogs are eager to tear it apart. And they do, chewing at it joyfully as it disintegrates. "Are you even texting Gojo-sensei, or are you on Uber Eats? Don't leave openings just to make bad jokes."
You stroll over. "What, you mean like the one you just closed for me? It's called teamwork, and we're good at it."
The normally well-behaved dogs yip when you approach, bounding over and throwing themselves at you. You fall to the grass and land with an oomph. They look quite pleased with themselves, rubbing at your legs and licking your face. "Come back, you two," Megumi tells them, but you wave him off from underneath a pile of dog.
"Look how much they love me," you say gleefully, sitting up and hugging them both. "Hi, guys! Aww, yes, I missed you guys too. Aren't I so much better than that asshole over there? What's his name again? Miyuki? Maika?"
They both bark in what you interpret as approval.
"Shut up," Megumi groans, but he can't say that watching the shikigami smother you isn't amusing. "What did senseisay?"
"Oh, right, I texted him. I think he's busy or something. He's also apparently trying to use text-to-speech to respond to messages again. I thought he agreed to stop doing that."
"He can't just be 'busy.' A Special Grade cursed object's gone missing at a school." He glances at the cabinet the finger was supposed to be in. It's a little banged up from the fight a few minutes ago. "Are they stupid or something? Why would they keep a cursed object in there?"
"Do you think we'd have found it if we used the helicopter?" you ask seriously.
Megumi thinks you're stupid. He doesn't dignify you with a response, instead taking out his phone and calling Gojo.
"Hello?" the man asks when he picks up, cheerful.
"It's not here," Megumi tells him, cutting straight to the chase.
"Ehh? What's not there?"
"The cabinet is empty."
Gojo bursts into laughter on the other side of the line. "Are you serious? That's funny! Maybe it's gone out for a little evening jog."
"I'll punch you."
By now, your teacher is used to this kind of thing. "Uh-huh. Is that what I was receiving all those messages for?"
You motion for Megumi to pass you the phone. He does (reluctantly), and you speak into it. You're still hugging the dogs. "Sensei, I thought you blew up your phone."
"Huh?"
"'Cursed Technique Lapse: Blue!'" you mimic, deepening your voice. "Sound familiar? Siri caught it."
"That was... a momentary lapse in judgement," he replies.
You snicker. "'Lapse' in judgement? Cursed Technique 'Lapse'?"
Both of you start laughing. "Good one!" Gojo chortles.
Megumi's eye twitches and he snatches the phone back. "So what are we supposed to do?" he asks, exasperated.
"Dunno! But no coming back home until you find it, 'kay?"
Then he hangs up. You think Megumi might develop a new cursed technique right then and there.
"I'm seriously gonna punch him," he mutters.
You and Megumi wander across campus, eventually arriving at a rugby field. Both of you have swapped to uniforms more similar to those of this school, trading navy blue bottoms for black ones and taking off your jackets in favor of the white undershirts.
"Yikes," you say, scrunching up your nose and waving your hand in front of your face. "That cursed object must still be at the school, because it's seriously fucking things up."
"Yeah, what's with this field?" Megumi questions. "There must be a dead body or something."
You complain, "This sucks! I could be out there enjoying some Sendai desserts. Instead, I'm on a hunt to find some wrinkly fingers. Who decided to cut off his fingers, anyway? He better have had the most beautiful manicure on Earth."
Both of you watch a curse swim through the field and climb up a pole. It squelches and growls. "Another Grade 2," you observe. "Just as ugly."
Megumi groans. He does that a lot. "But who could've moved the finger?"
The two of you walk across the field and up a small set of stairs, ignoring the blockade that declares the rugby field off-limits. Megumi glares at a picture of the cursed object on his phone while you try to focus and locate it. "Ugh, it's pointless. The energy is too strong and malicious. It's making me dizzy, not to mention it means that I can't tell whether we're far or close from it."
He glances at you when you mention the dizziness. "Don't do anything stupid and hurt yourself."
You're about to reply with a super witty and funny comment, but a student runs by, shouting to his peers. "Come over here! Coach Takagi is competing against Itadori from West Middle!"
"Seriously? What are they competing in?" another student asks.
You share a glance with Megumi, and you make the unanimous decision to see what's going on. You both stroll over to another, following the loud cheering and chanting. Hanging back from the crowd, you observe the scene.
"Why's that old fart competing with a student?" you whisper. "He needs a shirt."
The sorcerer shushes you as the teacher throws the shotput. It lands a decent distance away, and a boy in a yellow jacket takes his place.
"Can I just throw this however I want?" he asks.
"Yep. I won't call any fouls, so do as you please. I wanted to demonstrate how serious I am by picking something I know you're not good at..."
The boy named "Itadori" gears up for a long throw, flinging it far. You watch in amazement as it lands on a soccer goal, denting the metal and leaving it smoking.
"...Around thirty meters," a student announces.
"I don't know much about shotput," you tell Megumi, "but I'm pretty sure they're not usually thrown like that."
"He threw it like a baseball," he responds, also astonished.
You snicker. "I could do a thousand meters, easy."
"He doesn't have any cursed energy, though," he points out. "Maybe he's like Zenin-senpai."
"What, a Heavenly Restriction?" you ask. "The only thing restricting him are those jeans. God, they're ugly. We do not need to see his ankles."
"You don't even know the guy."
"Yeah, I don't. Also, I'm pretty sure he's got something to do with our mission. Can you feel the energy coming off of him? That's definitely not his own."
Megumi doesn't respond, and you don't bother saying anything again when the pink-haired boy runs past you. You resist a shudder as he brushes by you and the cursed energy crawls up your spine.
"Hey, you!" Megumi calls, while you're reeling. Everything goes red.
"Sorry, I've got places to be!" he shouts back.
Shit. "Why the fuck is that guy so fast?" You get ready to race after him, but Megumi grabs your arm and shakes his head.
"Probably the jeans," he tells you, but you know what he's actually saying. Give yourself a second. We can track him down in five minutes anyway.
You follow the cursed energy trail, Megumi hot on your heels. Sugisawa Hospital is right up ahead, and you can tell it's the boy's destination. "He's in here," you say.
He nods and points to a familiar figure from where he's talking to a nurse. "That's him."
As if on cue, the student turns and peeks at you both. You then realize how creepy both of you must look, standing in the dark hall and staring at him. "You're Yuuji Itadori, right?" you ask, tilting your head.
"Huh?" Itadori looks at you curiously.
"We're students from Jujutsu Tech," Megumi tells him. "And we need to speak to you. Now."
Itadori looks confused but comes over anyways, and the three of you stand in the waiting room. "Uhh, I'm in mourning right now."
You fight an urge to wince. "We're sorry, but we're kind of in a time crunch. Can you give us that cursed object you've got? It's pretty dangerous for someone to be hanging on to it."
"Cursed object?" Itadori asks. You want to bang your head on the wall. Crap. I forgot he's a civilian. That energy is seriously messing with my brain right now.
Luckily, Megumi takes over. He shows Itadori a photo of the finger and the box it's contained in. "Does this look familiar?"
A look of recognition comes over his face. "Oh, yeah! Uh-huh, I found that."
You and Megumi exchange a look. Itadori continues, "You can have it if you want, but my senpai has it right now. What do you guys mean by dangerous?"
Megumi begins, "The number of explained deaths and missing persons in Japan exceeds ten thousand annually. Those are because of curses. Whether you believe me or not, they're real."
"Curses?"
You can tell Megumi's going to go into an explanation that will be much too long for your liking, so you grab this chance to cut him off. "Okay, listen. Pools of cursed energy are formed by the negative emotions of humans. They become curses, and since places like schools have a lot of those, a lot of them will keep a cursed object to ward away curses. You found one of them."
"So then why is it dangerous if it's protecting us?" Itadori asks.
"Slow down, dude. That 'cursed object' is much more powerful than any other curses in the area. It's a stupid, shitty idea that results in stupid, shitty consequences. The seal weakens as time goes on, meaning it actually ends up attracting more curses. That's our situation, so..."
Itadori shrugs. "Makes sense. I don't have it, though."
He takes out the box, holding it out to you. You take a step back, blinking rapidly, so Megumi grabs it instead. When he opens it, it's empty.
This is starting to feel familiar. A string of curses (not the kind that can be exorcised) falls from your lips. Sukuna is really that strong, huh... Even the box has been imbued with enough cursed energy to trick me and Megs. "Where's your senpai?" you ask.
"At school," Itadori informs you. "Now that I think about it, they were talking about taking the seal off tonight..."
You and Megumi both jerk back in shock. Itadori peers at you both. "Why, is that bad?"
"They're gonna die," you say, keeping your voice calm and light. "Listen, can you lead us to the school? Right now?"
Itadori's just as alert as you two are after being told that his friends are going to die. "Wouldn't taking a taxi be faster?"
You grin at him, but your heart's pumping. "Not for us! Run as fast as you can, I promise I'll be able to keep up."
The wind whips at your face as you sprint alongside Itadori. He is fast — you're athletic, after fighting curses for so many years now, but you have to constantly send cursed energy down to your legs and your core to keep up with him. You're carrying Megumi on your back. He's not pleased, but he knows he'd only slow you both down.
"You are fast!" Itadori echoes your sentiment, watching you in wonder.
"You don't know the half of it," you laugh.
"Shortcut, go right!"
Both of you veer right.
Itadori glances at you and Megumi. "Do seals come off so easily that anyone would be able to do it?"
"Not usually," Megumi explains, propping his chin on top of your head. "It's impossible for anyone who doesn't have cursed energy. But this time, the object is too strong and the seal is too old. It's basically printer paper."
You and Itadori skid to a stop, kicking up dirt and dust. "What floor are they on?" you ask hurriedly, dropping Megumi on his feet.
"Fourth!"
Suddenly, a wave of cursed energy explodes from inside the building. The pressure is immeasurable, and even Itadori reacts. The adrenaline from running here keeps you alert, and you're immediately climbing up the gate and leaping over. Megumi is right beside you.
"Stay here," you tell Itadori, not even glancing at him. Then you're gone.
"Wait, I'm coming too!" he tells Megumi. "You said it was dangerous! I can't just stand by when my friends' lives are at risk."
Megumi shakes his head. "Stay here," he reiterates. The sorcerer disappears into the darkness, leaving Itadori standing alone by the gate.
"There's so many," you exclaim, launching past the lower-level curses on the first couple floors like a rocket. "Megs, it'd be great if you could move a little slower."
"Zip it. Not all of us have a technique as convenient as yours," he snaps back, but soon enough you're both on the fourth floor. Curses crawl all around you, considerably bigger and more dangerous as well as higher in number. The Divine Dogs growl and snap.
"The curse has been unleashed," Megumi gasps out.
"That's not good," you muse. "Someone might even say it's kind of bad. Brace yourself!"
You raise a hand. No technique, no visible form — you release a raw wave of cursed energy so dense that the curses' bodies ripple like boiling water, rumbling before all of the curses in the hallway pop like water balloons. Megumi winces. Even after all these years of fighting by your side, he's never gotten used to the potency of your cursed energy.
Both of you run down the hall.
"Here!" you shout, stopping when you see the biggest curse yet. It's a disgusting blob, covered in eyes. Both students are in its clutches. Your eyes land on the finger, still in the hands of the girl. "Fuck. It's trying to absorb the finger, too!" If the curse gets one of Sukuna's fingers, I don't know if I'll be able to protect all three of the people here and kill it at the same time.
You need to make a decision now. Both civilians are so deeply submerged in the curse that you don't think you can exorcise the curse and keep them unharmed.
If I kill the curse, they'll be injured less in the long run. Cursed energy surges to your hands, but before you can make a move, a familiar yellow jacket and ugly jeans make their appearance as Itadori bursts in through the window. He slams his fist into the curse and yanks out the students, sliding away before placing them both on the floor.
Megumi takes the chance immediately, and the curse erupts before both of his shikigami start to eat its dead body.
"So this is a curse," Itadori says. "Not really what I was expecting."
"What were you expecting, then?" you ask, curious.
Megumi is not having it. "I'd ask what you're doing here, but thanks anyways."
"So uptight," Itadori complains lightheartedly. "What's chowing down on the curse over there?"
"They're my shikigami. You can see them, then."
"Civilians usually can't," you add, going over to pat them lovingly. "Unless you're on the verge of death or in special places like this."
Itadori nods. "Makes sense. I've never seen anything like them before."
"You're not scared?" Megumi asks.
"I was for a little bit," he admits. "But I realized that... people actually do die. So I want the people I know to have proper deaths. Haha, not that I really understand it." He stands up with his friends in his arms, and the finger falls to the ground. Itadori grabs it. "Oh, is this it?"
"Yep," you confirm. You're starting to feel nauseous again, now that you've cooled down and the situation's been handled. "Special Grade cursed object, one of Ryomen Sukuna's fingers. Super gross, actually, but can you give it to me?"
"It's a miracle it wasn't eaten," Megumi comments.
"Why would anything eat it? Does it taste super good?"
You burst into laughter, but Megumi scowls. "Don't be stupid. It'd just give you stronger cursed energy."
"Would not recommend," you tell him. "Best case scenario, you die."
"Got it, got it." Itadori comes over to hand Megumi the finger, but you're not paying attention. A curse's hand crashes in through the ceiling, reaching for Itadori. You manage to shove them in time and duck away, but another curse slams and grabs you while the other grasps for Megumi.
You can't move your arms. You can't move any part of your body, actually. This is so incredibly inconvenient. Sukuna's cursed energy is disorienting, and you can hardly think straight.
Unfortunately for the curse, you're anything but weak. You pull cursed energy from your gut and it mushrooms out of you, disintegrating the curse holding you and rattling the walls. You turn to do the same to the curse holding Megumi, but it throws him out of the building and his Divine Dogs are released.
Another three curses, all of them triple your size, come down from the floor above. Your guess is more Grade 2s. What the hell?! You'd usually just sidestep them and go straight for Megumi, but the civilians are still here and so is the finger. You have to take them out.
Hang in there, you dumb fucks, you pray. You let your cursed energy swirl violently around you, ripping and tearing chunks of the curses out effortlessly before you let it expand and kill them completely. You look for Itadori, but he's gone.
You feel the blood drain from your face. Why didn't he run? You see he's outside of the building with Megumi, trying to defend him from the curse. They're shouting at each other while Itadori jumps and punches intermittently. None of his attacks are doing any damage. You bend your knees slightly, pouring cursed energy into your legs so you can go and help them, but more curses arrive and circle around you.
They're intelligent, you realize. Strategizing. The cursed object is powering them.
Well, strategy doesn't matter if you can just annihilate them. Another tug and they fly apart.
Your vision is not obstructed anymore. You glance out and Sukuna's finger is flying in the air, about to land in Itadori's mouth while he stands on the curse's teeth.
No fucking way.
You're not the type to stand by when things go wrong. Energy flows into your legs, and in a blink you're out of the building and where the two boys are. Your hand is right over Itadori's mouth—
The finger grazes past your fingertips, and he swallows.
If Yuuji Itadori doesn't die right now...
He bursts from the curse's hand and kills it with just a flick of his arm. You're knocked back in the blast, too, flying back hundreds of meters. You think you hear Megumi calling your name, but it's drowned out by the sound of blood rushing through your ears. "Itadori" laughs maniacally, tilting his head back and raising his fists in the air.
"Ah, I knew it! The light feels best in the flesh, doesn't it?" he exclaims, voice completely different. The malicious cursed energy pounds at your senses. You managed to coat yourself in a protective layer of cursed energy before getting thrown, but any attack carried out by Sukuna himself is far more effective than any curse you've fought. Your bones start to crack back into place, but you're not sure which ones.
Whatever. You're not a Special Grade sorcerer for nothing. Your skin is already knitting itself back together, and so are your bones. You're much more occupied by the shitshow happening in front of you.
Sukuna tears Itadori's jacket apart. You want to say that he's doing a favor for the guy, but you don't think that commentary would be appreciated. Itadori has four eyes now, and some kind of cool tattoos. He walks over to the edge of the rooftop, standing on the railings.
"Look at that. Women and children, crawling like ants all over the place. I'll kill them all!" More maniacal laughter. You're tired of it already. You don't know if you've always been this ballsy or if the dizziness is making you insane, but you stand up and raise your hand towards Sukuna. His cursed energy begins to flow towards you.
He senses the drain immediately, looking over to you in equal parts interest and disgust. "What's this? You, a maggot on the verge of death? Your filthy existence, trying to take some of my cursed energy and wield it for your own? You dare?"
Most people would get on their hands and knees to beg for their life. However, you're really fucking stupid. Megumi watches in horror as you spit out blood, grinning while cursed energy surges to your hands once more. "Your ego is a hundred times bigger than your brain and a thousand times bigger than your tiny dick."
Pure and untainted cursed energy swells from your fingertips, firing straight at Sukuna. He's forced to dodge, and the beam vaporizes the spot where he was standing previously.
You're a little excited to see what he'll do, but for some reason he grabs his own face and starts walking to the middle of the roof.
"What're you doing with my body? Give it back."
That's... Itadori's voice?
"How are you doing that?" Sukuna demands.
"Dude, you know it's my body?"
"Don't move." Megumi is kneeling, and your eyes widen in shock when you see his hands curled into fists and the shadows swirling around him. "Under jujutsu regulations, Yuuji Itadori, I will execute you as a curse."
Yeah, not happening. In an instant, you're behind Megumi, and you put a hand on his shoulder. "Do it and I will kill you myself," you warn him, wiping blood off your mouth. He jolts, shadows faltering for a second as he turns to look at you in surprise. Itadori looks just as startled as he puts his hand up in surrender. The tattoos fade from his body.
"Hang on, I'm just fine! But we're all pretty beat up, so let's go to a hospital." He perks up when he sees you. "Ah! You're safe! I knew you were strong enough to... Uh."
You blink. "'Uh' yourself," you say.
He points at the cuts and bruises that are visible on your body. They're fading away and closing up, fast enough for the naked eye to see. "Does that usually happen?"
"Huh?" You look down and figure out what he's talking about. "Oh, right. Yeah. Pretty cool, right?"
"Yeah, that's hella cool! Can you teach me how to do that?"
Megumi shoots you a killer glare. "You don't know if that's Itadori talking or if it's the cursed object!"
You shrug. "I mean, he's complimenting me. Does it really matter?"
"How," Megumi says through clenched teeth, "have you stayed alive for this long?"
"I'm like a cockroach."
Megumi looks murderous right about now. You hope it's being channeled towards Sukuna and not towards you.
Just then, you feel a condensed blizzard of cursed energy arrive on scene. You stumble, and Megumi releases the hand sign in favor of trying to steady you. Right on cue, your sensei has arrived.