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Reki
I lie awake in bed, staring hopelessly at the ceiling like it’s gonna tell me how to fix everything. It’s 4:00 AM and I can’t turn my head off.
I snapped at Langa earlier, we couldn’t agree on how to handle the beef with Adam. It’s funny. It was raining and, as a skater, usually the rain is a huge pain in the ass, but, today, I’m kinda glad that it was able to mask my tears. I trust Langa, I really do, but… I can’t help wishing I never met him sometimes. He’s amazing, don’t get me wrong, but it’s times like these, when we’re both too stubborn to back down, when he gets caught up in something that’s way over his head. My brain takes over and all I can do is sit there and listen to it analyze those memories—and basically my entire life as well.
My brain won’t shut up again. Would things be better if we hadn’t met? I let my eyes fall shut, willing my thoughts to fade away so that I can finally sleep.
They never do shut up, and I’m left feeling like a zombie once my alarm inevitably rings.
Turns out that barely sleeping makes you feel like you died a week ago and have been cursed to an endless amount of work. It’s honestly a miracle that I was able to skate all the way to school without running into anything, I did almost hit a couple people, though.
I was so focused on not falling off my board that I kinda forgot to say ‘hi’ to Langa today. Oh well, I should probably start to distance myself from him anyway. It’ll be better like that, right?
I could barely focus all day, and at this rate, it’s going to be a miracle if I pass math. I ended up staring out the window most of the day in an attempt to stay awake, though I couldn’t help but let my eyes keep wandering back to Langa’s reflection. God, he’s so pretty.
I know I shouldn’t think things like that, I know I shouldn’t care about him this much, but I don’t know how to stop. I should stop, I have to. He’s my friend, we’re both guys, I’m just being weird, that’s all.
—
It’s tough to ignore Langa at work, especially since I’m so used to his company there. Restocking the shelves in silence is kinda lonely now.
“Hey, Reki,” Oka calls from behind the counter, “c’mere for a sec.”
I jump a bit, whipping my head around to look towards the voice. After dropping the wheels I was holding back into the box, I hesitantly walk over to Oka.
“I wanna talk to you in the back, c’mon,” he says, half whispering and motioning for me to follow him. “So,” he says once we’re out of the main shop, “what’s wrong?”
“Nothing, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lied, crossing my arms.
“Uh… huh, and I’m supposed to believe that the awkward tension between both my employees is nothing,” he says skeptically, raising an eyebrow and crossing his arms. “Reki, you two obviously,” he paused, searching for the right words, “…care … about each other, so why are you two acting like you’re strangers again?”
“We’re not, everything’s fine.”
“You could ask anyone and I’m certain they would say that you two are being weird today,” Oka said with a slight bite in his tone. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I just— Reki, it’s obvious that you really care about Langa and I’m just worried about you, okay. You two have been practically inseparable since you’ve met, and—” he sighed again, looking at me sympathetically.
I felt something in me snap. “I don’t care about him, you’re being really weird today,” I grumbled.
“It’s okay, you know. Your feelings are normal, there’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
“Who said anything about feelings,” I scowled, feeling my anger start to bubble up, slowly intensifying.
Oka stood there, playing with his fingers, lost in thought for a while. “You act as if I have no clue what’s going on.”
“Well you obviously don’t based on your rash assumptions,” I spat out. I was getting too worked up over this. I needed to calm down. Damn it, what’s wrong with me?!?
Oka raised both his hands in defeat, “alright, alright, I’ll drop it, but you know you can always come talk to me. About anything, okay? I’m here if you ever need help.”
“Yeah, sure. Can I go back now?”
Oka looked at me worriedly, “yeah, sure kid, you’re free to go.”
I shuffled back into the main shop and resumed shelving the box of wheels, which seemed a little bit emptier than I left it.
I heard soft shuffling from behind me. “Hey, Reki…” A long pause. “What was that? Why were you yelling at Oka?” Langa’s meek voice cut through the silence, almost begging for answers.
I didn’t answer. I wanted to, I really did, but I didn’t know what to say or where this conversation would go. I didn’t want to confront reality just yet, I needed a bit more time.
—
Ironically, I still can’t sleep. Lying here, staring at my ceiling again, I’m starting to accept the fact that my brain will never shut up. I’m starting to contemplate looking up tips on how to fall asleep, but I know that they’ll make it seem deceptively easy. That, and it feels weird to need assistance on figuring out something so simple, something that’s ingrained in our brains, something required for life. It should be easy. Why is this so hard for me? My mind keeps flicking back to what Oka said. Feelings? For Langa? Do I really? Does everybody think that? Should I think that? I cover my face with my elbow.
Maybe I do have a little crush on him… It’s been an hour, maybe two, and this is the only thing that’s been on my mind. But… what does that mean? I sigh, turning on my side and closing my eyes. Now I have to try to get over you…
—
Langa
I have been sat in a booth in Joe’s restaurant doing absolutely nothing for who knows how long. He and Cherry have been giving me weird looks periodically, I just ignore them. I texted Reki yesterday to meet me here, since I really need to talk to him. I need to know what I did wrong, why he’s mad at me, how I can fix things. I need to fix this, I don’t want to mess things up this time. I can’t lose him.
I put my headphones on, turn on some music, and end up snapping my fingers and gently bopping my head to the rhythm of the song. This is a bit more bearable than the deafening silence and hyperawareness of everything, especially the passage of time.
One hour passes, then two. It’s getting harder to get lost in the music now. I’m starting to doubt that he’ll even show up now. Reki, where are you? It’s getting harder and harder to ignore Joe and Cherry’s weird looks, and honestly I just want to go home. I cross my arms on the table and put my head down, willing myself not to cry. I try to focus on the music again, but it’s all in vain.
I heard someone sigh next to me, saying, “what’s wrong, hmm?”
“Huh?” I took off my headphones and looked up, confused, meeting a very concerned looking Cherry.
“What’s got you all mopey today?” he asked again.
“It’s Reki, he’s gone.” I mumbled, looking down and fidgeting with my hands.
“What?”
“Cherry, he’s gone!” I cried solemnly, looking up to Cherry.
“Uhh, what do you mean?” Cherry looked confused now.
“Reki, he hasn’t shown up at the restaurant or S and he’s been ignoring me,” I look down to my hands again, “I don’t know what to do Cherry… he’s gone.”
“Hey—” Cherry started, consolingly.
“He’s gone and skating isn’t fun anymore, nothing is fun anymore… what’s wrong with me Cherry?” I was on the brink of tears, wishing, hoping, that Cherry could help fix this. Help fix me.
Cherry took a deep breath, sitting down across from me and looking into my eyes—or at least trying to. “Look, I know you’re both chaotic dumbasses, but you’ll get through this, you always do.”
I wasn’t sure whether to feel better or worse. “But, still, I just— I want to fix this and I don’t know what to do.” I stammered, frantically searching for answers in Cherry’s eyes, but quickly looking away when I didn’t find them.
“I know my advice might not suit you, or be the answer that you strive for, but just do what feels right, okay? Follow your heart.” He smiled softly before standing up again and walking away.
I was left there, lost and confused, no closer to a conclusion than I was before. After a while, I put my headphones back on and walked out of the restaurant, snapping my fingers to the music.
—
Reki
Wiping my tears, I looked at the time, three o’clock. I groaned, today was not my day, it was absolutely craptastic. And no, I will not elaborate.
I squeeze my eyes shut as a dull searing—almost itching—sensation prickled beneath the skin of my arms. I am not doing this right now. I’m not going to. I’m not going to. You’re fine. Stop. Stop. Stop, stop. STOP. I close my eyes and press the heels of my hands onto my eyelids. I hate days like this.
After a few minutes I surrender to the impulse and get out of bed. I hesitate a bit, the cold sensation on my arm grounding me a little, but that doesn’t last for long. Then suddenly, red.
—
By the time I check my clock again it’s four in the morning, and god am I gonna hate myself so much when the sun comes up.
I decide to put on some music to try to shut my brain off. Though this one song comes on and my mind keeps straying to Langa, how absolutely perfect he is… and how much of a wreck I am. I have to shoo the thoughts away because I don’t need him, I can’t need him. I’m fine without him. I don’t need you here, not anymore. I’m fine without you, I’m better off without you. I have to be. So get out of my head… get out of my heart! I start crying again, frustrated at the realization that these feelings aren’t going away any time soon.
I fell asleep… I think, not sure. I closed my eyes and then my alarm went off—and I don’t feel like death—so I’m gonna say I fell asleep.
—
I felt a presence next to my desk. “Please come to S today,” spoke a voice beside me. I glanced up, wearily, seeing Langa’s messy pale blue hair and immediately looked away. I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t talk to him, ‘cause if I did… I might not be able to keep my distance anymore. I look out the window, a common occurrence nowadays, and my eyes immediately snap to Langa’s reflection.
“Reki?”
He looks sad and he sounds so defeated. I close my eyes, I can’t let my mind wander too far… I’m supposed to work towards us being strangers again, after all. I don’t say anything.
After a few minutes, the teacher arrives and Langa walks away. I‘m left staring at his reflection and feeling like shit. The teacher starts the lesson and I start writing in my notebook, but the words quickly turn into doodles and my brain starts playing a song that reminds me of Langa. I guess I really am hopeless. I said that I’d focus on school and I really am trying, but I just… can’t. Believe me, I hate that my brain does this and I’d love to be able to focus for once, but I don’t think that something like that is possible. I can’t even remember the last time I was able to concentrate on school. One glance at the board and I knew that trying to understand the lesson was a lost cause.
—
I’d love to report good news, but the rest of the day didn’t quite go how I’d have liked it to. I’ve become very aware of how many minutes are in the school day, since recently they seem to last forever. The awkward tension with Langa isn’t really helping, either. I should really stop listening to music at school, because the songs, paired with Langa’s reflection—which I need to stop staring at so often, what is WRONG with me—only make establishing a distance just that much harder. How many minutes are left in today? Whatever the answer, it’s too many.
—
I’m losing him… and I know this is what I wanted, for us to drift apart, but… I don’t know anymore. It’s all I can think about tonight. I can’t sleep—again—and I’m desperate enough to count sheep, stupid as it is. Maybe I really am hopeless.
—
Langa
It’s been maybe a week since Reki has started to ignore me. Maybe I’ve done something wrong, I’m not too sure. I hope not. I really miss him and I’ve been searching around for things that remind me of him. I found this one video of him from June 22nd a few years back, he’d filmed himself learning to Ollie. I couldn’t help but smile seeing him so determined. I love skateboarding, and… I love Reki too.
—
My shifts at Dope Sketch have felt bleak and colorless, dragging on for ages, without Reki’s company. I mean he was there, but… it didn’t really feel like it. He seems down recently, though maybe he just really doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore. Whenever I see him like that my chest feels weird and tight, like my heart’s going down the drop of a rollercoaster. I don’t like that feeling.
Oka’s been calling him into the back nearly every day, I’m not sure why, but I heard Reki yelling once, so I think they’re chatting about something. When Reki leaves for the back I try to help him out a bit and make some more progress on the task he was doing. It’s not that I think he can’t do it on his own, it’s just that I’m worried… he doesn’t have the determined fire in his eyes anymore.
—
I’ve been asking Reki to come back to S for a bit, but he never shows up. I feel stupid when I spend so much time looking for him, only to be again disappointed when he’s not there. Maybe I’m going insane.
—
I quickly tie my shoes before grabbing my board and dashing out the door. Sometimes I condemn S for being a nights-only event, but I understand the thought process behind it. My sleep schedule doesn’t. I’ve kind of given up on Reki showing up at this point, and, honestly, if I didn’t have to skate tonight, I probably wouldn’t be going either. I’m always so tired in the morning after S, and this whole Reki thing has really taken a toll on me. My mom said that I should try to fix what we have—had—but I don’t think she really understood the situation.
I’m lost in thought, barely paying attention, when I feel a drop of water on my head. Rain. The raindrops ground me a little bit, though they are kind of annoying, and I stop trying to force my thoughts away from Reki. It was raining when he last talked to me… the fire wasn’t in his eyes then either. Maybe the rain put it out. And maybe the rain put out my fire too.
—
I can’t help but search for Reki again tonight, frantically darting through the crowd, asking around. So far nobody’s seen him. I’m supposed to be in the front, prepping for my race, but Reki is more important now. A few minutes later, I have to make my way back to the front, and I can’t stop snapping my fingers.
—
The lights start to blink on.
One. I can’t stop thinking about Reki. How I wish he were here, cheering me on, standing by my side and cracking stupid jokes, asking me to tutor him in math.
Two. Reki, where are you? I can’t skate without you, it’s not the same. You’re the one who makes skating fun. I’m in a beef, no matter how badly I want to go home, to scour the whole planet for Reki, I still have to skate. I drop my board on the ground. My heart isn’t racing, it’s aching. I’m not excited, I’m tired. I start snapping my fingers again… maybe this is a nervous habit?
Three. I put my foot on the front bolts and get ready to push off, already dreading the match. I don’t want to skate. I really don’t feel like skating right now.
Four. I don’t need Reki here to skate, I’m fully capable without him.
“You better crush it!” Miya calls from the sidelines. I think he’s distraught about Reki’s absence too.
Five. The lights turn green and we’re off. Despite that, I can’t focus on the beef. I can’t think about skating anymore, not without thinking of Reki, at least.
—
Reki
I managed to convince myself to get out of bed and go to S. Langa’s skating today, so I’ll get to see how much catching up I have to do. Actually, maybe I shouldn’t go… no matter what, I’ll inevitably end up falling so far behind that I’ll never be able to catch up. Maybe I’m not ready to face that reality yet. Though not seeing him makes my heart squeeze, or hurt, or pinch—I’m not quite sure how to describe it… And so I make my way to S, ‘cause this distance is killing me and my heart is incredibly stupid.
—
Once I get to the S doors, I hesitate. Maybe this was a bad idea after all. What if he hates me now and never wants to see me again. What if… I walk in anyways and duck into the crowd, trying my best to blend in. I make my way through the crowd, landing somewhere in the middle, thinking I might be able to just watch on the screen. Though when I look up, I see Langa snap his fingers—something he does when he’s nervous or excited or… why do I know that?—and I know I can’t just stand there. I make my way through the crowd muttering a string of, “uh, excuse me,”s and, “oh, sorry,”s until I find myself in the back, at a turn that’s pretty early on in the race.
There’s a screen here, too, and as the starting lights blink on, my eyes are locked on Langa. He looks hesitant, defeated, even. Oh, that’s my fault, isn’t it? I feel a pang in my chest and I quickly shoo the thought out of my head. I’m here ‘cause I want to cheer on Langa, not have another existential crisis. This might not be the best plan of attack, but it is something, and that’s always better than nothing, right? I focus back on the screen, four of the lights are lit, and I notice Langa snap his fingers again, a lot.
Oh. Oh no. Well, this was fun while it lasted. I have to force myself to stay put and just watch. The lights turn green. The beef has started. Langa pushes off with barely any force. Joe shoots past him. Langa is cruising at a snail’s pace… why is he going so slow?! C’mon, speed up, speed up, speed UP! I know this is my fault, if I hadn’t been so cold to him then he’d be fine, but I can’t change the past now.
Joe comes zooming past. Langa’s nowhere to be seen, and I can only think of one thing to help him. I just have to wait until he rolls past…
Look, I’ve never been very patient, but this wait is killing me. Every second I get more and more anxious, mentally screaming at Langa to snap back into it. I’m just about to run back through the course to find him when he slowly rolls into view. And he looks miserable. What happened to his love for skating? What happened to his drive to win? I hate how defeated and unenthusiastic he looks. “LANGAA!” I don’t care that the person next to me is staring at me like I’m mad. I don’t care.
I don’t care because Langa’s head snaps to me and I can see the fire in his eyes again. I don’t care what anyone says ‘cause Langa’s back in the race. And he looks determined not to lose.
This instance, however, does not do wonders for my brain. He was down because of you. Look at what you’ve done, he’s hurting because of you. I have to stop myself from digging my nails into my arm. I turn my attention back to the small screen by the ceiling. I’m here to cheer on Langa. I’m here to…
I should be happy that he sees so much light in my presence. I should be over the moon that he lights up at the fact that I’m with him. I should be happy that he cares… So why am I hellbent on getting over him? I don’t want to get over him. I want him to stay, be in my life forever, but that’s selfish. I don’t wanna be selfish.
The match is almost over. I should get ready to leave, I don’t want to overstay my welcome… I want to go home, honestly. Langa managed to pull ahead of Joe, so I’m sure he’ll win the beef. I could just go now, yeah that might be better. It is pretty late.
It takes a minute, but I manage to work up the courage to make my way to the back exit—which wasn’t far from where I was standing. As I turn toward the exit, I hear someone running. I ignore it.
“Reki!”
Oh. Langa. I walk faster, thinking that I might be able to make it out before he catches up.
“Reki,” heavy breath, “stop, wait a minute!”
I hesitate slightly, but trudge on. Though I’m stopped by a hand around my wrist. I don’t fight it.
“Reki?” Langa’s voice is in front of me now. “Can we talk… please?”
I don’t look at him, I keep my head down, staring at his pale blue Converse. I can only bring myself to nod, barely holding back tears, and let him lead me away.
—
I recognize the ground: the skatepark we always go to. Langa lets go of my hand right in front of one of the ramps. He sits down facing me. I sit down too. Our knees are touching, but I don’t move away. I don’t say anything either.
Langa breaks the silence. “Reki, I missed you. I missed talking to you and skating next to you and seeing you. You’re one of the most amazing people I know. You’re great at skating, you’ve taught me so much. I couldn’t do this without you.”
I look up carefully, seeing Langa smiling so softly at me, his hair glowing in the moonlight. And I might have been crazy, but I swear he was blushing. “Langa I—”
“And don’t even think about saying that you’re nothing special, because you are. Reki, before I met you I was lost and lonely, but then you showed up and painted color into my life. I’m happy. Really, really happy.” His face broke out into a wide grin and I saw him gently snap his fingers.
I could feel my own face start to heat up, and I raised my arm to block my blush. “I’m— I’m happy with you, too.” I peeked over my arm and saw Langa light up, his snapping picking up a bit.
“I wanna skate with you forever,” he whispered.
I let out a nervous chuckle. “Me too.”
“I want to be with you forever.”
There was a beat of silence and Langa snapped his fingers. One, two, deep breath, nervous laugh.
“What do you… what do you mean by that?”
“I want to be where you are. I want to see you smile. I want to make you laugh. I want to make sure you’re okay. I just… I care about you, a lot.” There was the snapping again.
“I’d like that.” I shrunk back behind my arm again. I could hear my heartbeat, could Langa hear it? Well, shizzlers… he doesn’t care, right?
“Where were you?”
“Huh?”
“You left, why?”
“Are you… are you mad..?”
Langa sat up, looking confused. “Why would I be mad? I was worried, I thought you were mad at me… or you got bored or… something.”
I laughed nervously, not sure how else to react. “I could never get bored of you, you’re amazing, y’know. I was just… jealous of how well you can skate and I…” I looked to the ground, falling silent, not knowing how—or wanting to—explain what I felt.
“You should’ve told me.” His fingers gently brushed over where our knees were touching. “I would’ve told you that you’re still the most important person in my life, the one that makes my heart beat faster, and nothing is gonna change that. No matter what happens you’ll still have a place in my heart, trust me.” And there it was, the snapping of his fingers. One, two, his hand left my knee. Three, he pulled my arm away from my face. Four, five, his hand ghosted over my cheek. “You don’t need to answer now, but I wanted to say that I really like you.” He took a deep breath, and his hand dropped back between our knees. All I could think about was how he looked absolutely gorgeous sitting here with me in the moonlight. We sat in silence for a minute. It was nice, just us two, it felt like nothing else mattered anymore.
“Me too.”
Langa’s face flashed with confusion before breaking out into the brightest smile I’d ever seen. “Can I hug you?”
“Yeah,” I breathed out. I was pulled into Langa’s arms before I’d even finished my response. It was warm and it felt nice, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t start to tear up a little.
“If we’re gonna do this I need you to tell me if you’re uncomfortable with anything… I don’t wanna force you to do anything you don’t want to, okay?” He squeezed me a little harder.
“Okay,” I mumbled into his shoulder.
“I love you,” he whispered, “and it’s okay if you can’t say it back yet.”
We sat there, in that skate park, basking in each other’s embrace for ten minutes.
Langa pulled back from the hug a little. “I kinda don’t wanna sit out here anymore. I don’t want to leave you, though.”
“D’you wanna get out of here and maybe head over to my place for a bit?”
Langa smiled. “Yeah, sure.” He got up, holding out a hand to help me up. “You don’t have your board, right?”
“Nope, I walked today.”
“Okay.” He tucked his board under his arm and reached down to clasp our hands together. “This is okay, right?”
My heart was beating incredibly loud and I could feel my face start to heat up. “Yeah.”
“Cool… lead the way.”
—
I unlocked the front door and stepped inside. “You can put your board down by your shoes,” I said, taking my own shoes off. Langa complied and I led him down the hall to my room.
I closed the door and found him standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, looking around. I sat down on the floor, fidgeting a little, Langa sat down next to me. I laughed nervously, staring at my hands. “Why are we so awkward right now?”
Langa laughed a little. “I dunno. Probably ‘cause things have changed between us and we’re not really sure what to do now.”
I looked up at him, finding him looking at me with a soft smile. “Yeah, that sounds about right. Uhmm, I might… uhh, grab some snacks and then do you wanna play Animal Crossing or something?”
“Sure.”
As I headed to the kitchen to get snacks, I heard Langa start to snap his fingers, and I couldn’t stop the smile spreading across my face.
—
“Alright, I’m back,” I said, arms full of bags of snacks. Langa was inspecting some posters on my wall and turned around as I set the snacks on the floor and went to grab my Switch. I sat down beside Langa, our knees touching yet again, and propped up the Switch, pulling off the Joy-cons. Langa had already broken into a bag of chips. “Do you want to play, or just watch?”
“Hmm, you can play,” he said, grabbing another chip.
“Okay.” I opened up the game and waited for it to load.
“Who do you have on your island?”
“Huh? Oh, uhh..” I pulled up my island map.
Langa studied the map for a second. “Why do you have Sherb? He doesn’t really fit in with everyone else.”
“Oh, uhh… umm— he— he reminds me of you,” I mumbled, eyes glued to the Switch.
“Hmm? What did you say?”
“Nothing.” I exit the map and start to busy myself with catching fish.
“No, what did you say?”
“I said I got him ‘cause I— he maybe might kinda remind me of you.” I misclick and scare a fish away.
“Huh… okay.”
My heart is racing, but I hear Langa snap his fingers a few times and can’t help but smile. I glance over to find him staring curiously at me. “What?” I put the Joy-cons down, turning towards him.
“Why’d you start smiling?”
“You were happy.”
Langa looked at me inquisitively, tilting his head slightly. “How’d you know?”
“You snapped your fingers. You do that whenever you’re excited or nervous.”
“Oh… really?”
“Yeah, it’s… kinda cute.” I looked away, well aware that I was blushing.
“Huh…” Langa thought for a second. “I guess I do…” His eyes snapped back to mine, then he looked a little further down. “I kinda wanna kiss you.”
There was a beat of silence, neither of us really comprehending what was just said. “Oh— oh, I uhh… oh.” I could not for the life of me get any other sound out of my mouth. My heart was pounding, and my eyes kept flicking between Langa and the wall behind him.
“We don’t have to if you’re not ready yet.” He said it so calmly. I wouldn’t have known he was freaking out too if it weren’t for the symphony of snaps.
“No, I… I want to…”
He scooted closer and I started to fidget with my hands, sitting very stiffly. He began to lean in and I could swear that my heart was beating so hard that he could hear it. Our faces were a few inches away, but I leant backward ‘cause I was lowkey really freaking out.
Langa stopped, sitting back. “We don’t have to—”
“I— I know... I want to.”
“Okay. Is there anything I can do that might make it easier?” The snap of his fingers almost matched my heartbeat.
“I don’t… I dunno.” I looked down to my hands.
“Okay… how about I walk you through it, take it step by step. I won’t do anything until you’re ready.”
“Yeah, okay.” I took a deep breath, trying to get my nerves to settle down.
“Can you look at me?”
I hesitantly lifted my head up to look into Langa’s eyes. He smiled when our eyes met.
“Can I come closer?”
“Uhh, yeah…”
Langa leaned in a little bit. I started to fidget with my hands again.
“Heh, I’m nervous too, you know.” He looked away for a second.
That made me feel a little better. My heart didn’t feel like it was going to beat out of my chest as much anymore. “You seem really calm, though.”
“Yeah, well, I’m kind of freaking out about this, too.”
“Really..?” I whisper, leaning closer.
“Heh, my heart is beating really fast right now.”
There were only about five inches separating us now, and I was starting to go a little cross-eyed looking at Langa. I look down to his lips, the butterflies come back full-force.
“You okay?” He sounds hesitant, worried.
“Mhmm.”
“Do you need a minute?”
“No, I— I’m fine…”
He leans back a little, looking over to the Switch for a second. “Would music help? We could turn up the volume on the game or something…”
“Yeah, maybe.”
Langa turned the volume up on the Switch and we were surrounded by a soft, upbeat, instrumental melody. He looked back at me. “Good?”
“Mhmm.”
“Do you want to try again now or do you need some time?”
I took a deep breath. “I think I’m okay now…”
Langa leaned in again, stopping when there were only four inches between us. “Good?”
I nodded.
He reached out and cupped my cheek. “Good?”
“Mhmm…”
He leaned closer, and I could feel his breath on my face. Man, this was terrifying. I squeezed my eyes shut.
“Reki? You okay?”
“Mhmm…” The sound came out more unsure than I’d hoped.
“Can I do it now?” he whispered.
“Yeah…”
It took a second, but I felt Langa’s lips on mine. It was nicer than I’d thought it would be and I found myself kissing back. I wouldn’t say it felt like there were fireworks, but it certainly felt like there was some sort of celebration. Langa pulled back and I was so caught up in the moment that I followed him a little before the kiss ended.
“Good?” He asked, a smile playing on his lips.
“Good,” I said, a smile spreading across my face, too. We sat there, just staring at each other, for a few minutes ‘cause neither of us really knew what to do now. “So,” I started, picking the Joy-cons back up, “how do you feel about maybe adding that into our handshake?”
“The kiss?”
“Yeah.”
He was silent for a few seconds. “Sure.”
“Cool.” I smiled.
“Can I hug you?”
“Yeah, sure… I might play Zelda now, that okay?”
“Mhmm.”
Langa pulled me into his lap and hugged me from behind as I journeyed to save a fictitious princess. That was mildly irrelevant, though because I’d already found my prince. He sat there cheering me on with the snap of his fingers.