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There was a dream that Ai often had, particularly after a long night of working on the antidote.
She would slowly sink to the bottom of the ocean. The sound of bubbles and water pressure harsh against her ears, and cloudiness over her eyes. The salt in her mouth erased all other taste. Her senses were numbed, but a part of her liked that. It was quiet. Lonely, but quiet.
Before she could become completely shrouded in darkness, a hint of light would glow, capturing her attention. A small hand not too different from the size of her own would peek out. Dream after dream, she'd swim faster. But every single time, she would wake up before their fingers touched. And this occurence was no different.
There wasn't much change when she opened her eyes. The basement was dim and silent. The delicate bubbles that danced around her had been replaced by labratory glassware, and the heavy salt with the scent of industrial chemicals. Hell, if the police ever found their way down here, they might mistake the professor for some kind of drug lord.
Ai sat up from the couch that he had placed there, given her tendency to fall asleep at her desk. Although, lately, she would come down here solely to use said couch. While she appreciated having a warm bed, some nights just felt easier to sleep in the constricted space.
She slowly went up the stairs, mindlessly dragging her fingers along the wall. She paused for a second once she got to the top, resting her palm against the wall before opening the door.
"There you are!" a young boy called out.
"I should've guessed you were the bothersome noise that woke me up." she yawned. "What brings you here today, Kudo-kun?"
He shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I figured since I was nearby, I could see if-"
"No, I won't be giving you an antidote."
"What I was going to say, is if…" his eyes wandered around, eventually looking down at his watch. "Agasa-hakase could reload my watch! Had another case and needed to give the old man a nap." he chuckled.
"Mm-hm. And how's the other one doing?"
"Huh?"
"The one squatting next door." she motioned her head towards the Kudo residence. "That's where you're coming from, isn't it?"
"Ah… Yeah, he's doing well. If you're interested, I'm sure he wouldn't mind you coming over for some curry."
"Hard pass." she waved off.
The boy let out an amused sigh, quite used to her disdain at this point. As he chatted with Agasa, Ai walked over to the nearby window and stared at the adjoining house. The neighboring man took notice, giving a light nod and a smile. She returned a grimace and buried her head into her arms.
She'd rather chew glass than admit it, but Ai was starting to feel a pang of jealousy towards Okiya Subaru, or whatever his name really was, although she had her suspicions.
Her home was supposed to be their safe haven. An escape from the outside world where they could be themselves without holding back. Lately though, it seemed like he had been running off elsewhere, leaving her with more and more superficial pleasantries.
I shouldn't have been so naive… she subconciously dug her thumb nail into her index finger. That's his real home, after all. This one's just a placeholder.
"Thanks, Hakase!" Conan put his watch back on. "I guess I should head back now."
"Kudo-kun."
"Hm? What's up?" he asked so innocently, she could have actually mistaken him for a child.
"The-" she breathed out. "The Organization. You haven't found anything new, have you?"
"…Like what?"
"You know, anything that would bring us closer to their whereabouts. Are we in any danger?"
His eyes looked up, as if he were deciding how to interpret her question.
"There's nothing to worry about!" he grinned.
That empty reply made her nail dig in even deeper.
"You-"
"Listen, Haibara." he put a hand to her shoulder. "You don't have to stress over anything. Just relax! I'll see you at school tomorrow, okay?"
Ugh! she slammed her hands against her work table. Just shut up and smile. That's basically what he said, isn't it? Well, if that's how it's going to be…
Ai snuck out of her bed that night, moving as quietly as she could to not awaken the professor. She used the flashlight on her watch to poke around his work station, searching for his extra transmitters.
She had attempted to bug Subaru in the past, but to no avail. She'd often try to attach them to his clothes during his visits, but he always caught on. He never once acknowledged them, simply disposing of the devices no matter how well she'd hidden it. That only pissed her off even more. Was he trying to say she wasn't even worth confronting?
If I track Kudo instead, he wouldn't expect-
That thought suddenly stopped her in her tracks. Even if he wasn't being forthcoming, he trusted her, didn't he? Maybe he did have his reasons after all.
But…
She couldn't help but think about his smile. No matter what they were faced with, he'd shine fiercely like the full moon. But at some point or another, one she couldn't really identify, it became harder to see. The only thing left was a condescending smirk as he turned to his new allies.
All she wanted, truly, was to see all of him again. Not some facade shielding her from reality.
The next day at school, Ai speed-walked to the cubby area upon dismissal. Instead of her own belongings though, she reached for the pair of red and white sneakers. She pulled the chewed gum out of her mouth and carefully folded the listening device inside, sticking it underneath the sole. Couldn't we have a less crude method? she grimaced, quickly putting it back in it's exact spot.
"You're fast, Ai-chan!" Ayumi gasped, just barely able to catch up to her, along with Conan, Genta and Mitsuhiko.
"What's the rush?" Conan asked.
"I just have some things to take care of." Ai shrugged, nonchalantly putting on her shoes.
"Eh? I was hoping we could all go to the park together…" Ayumi pouted.
"Sorry. Some other time, okay?"
"Then I guess it'll just be the four of us today." Mitsuhiko said.
"Actually…" Conan paused for a moment as he put on his sneakers. Ai held her breath, nervous that she might be caught already. "I have something to do as well."
"You two aren't going off to have fun on your own, are you?" Genta groaned.
"Not this time." Conan smirked. "Like Haibara said, we'll hang out some other time."
The girl quickly went home, rushing down to the basement so she could listen without interruption. She pulled out the glasses he had given her long ago, remembering what it was like to be by his side. Even if it was terrifying at times, she'd rather go back to those days than be… like this. She couldn't bring herself to put them on, opting to sit them down on her desk as she laid her head down beside it.
For a while, the audio was mostly footsteps. It sounded like he had found a pebble to kick along the way like a soccer ball. Then, he stopped for a moment, tapping his foot as if he were waiting for someone. Most of the noise was drowned out by passing cars, but she could hear him let out a tired sigh. A similar sound escaped her lips, wondering if this risky move would actually result in anything. The feeling didn't linger for very long though, as a familiar voice could suddenly be heard.
"Need a ride?"
"There you are." The raised pitch in his voice seemed like Conan was smiling.
Okiya Subaru. Ai confirmed in her mind. Him again...
"So, have you noticed any strange movements from them?"
His voice somehow changed mid-way, much like how Conan's changes between using his bowtie. This voice was also a familiar one. Although she hadn't heard it in a long time, Ai could remember their conversations like it was yesterday. After all, it was the voice that once eased her worries over her dear sister. "Don't make that kind of face. I'll protect her." she recalled with agitation. As much as the Organization refused to properly explain themselves, she was well aware of the rumors. It didn't take much for her to conclude why they had suddenly taken Akemi away from her. Her boyfriend was a traitor, after all. And she knew better than anyone what the consequences for that were.
Then… he really is…
"Not yet. We better stay vigilant, though. I have a feeling something big is about to come, Akai-san."
Akai…? Not Dai-kun? she let out a breath. Idiot. Of course that wasn't his real name. She quickly put it all together, a mystery that she'd wonder about as she carefully created her capsules within her makeshift laboratory. How did Moroboshi Dai find himself entangled with Kudo Shinichi? Why did he move into his house?
Why? She wanted to ask him every time she saw that poor excuse for a disguise. Why couldn't you keep her safe?
Ai didn't have anything left in her at this point. She could only press her head against the hard edge of the table.
I get it now. You couldn't let me know. Any tears would just get in the way of everything.
And here I thought everything would be different.
She thought that would be the most of this conversation, but the little detective continued on.
"For the time being, I won't mention any of this to Haibara. RUM hasn't been seen at the sushi restaraunt, and he hasn't been to the detective agency in a while either. Who knows what he could be planning if he noticed her presence back then."
Back then?
And it hit her like a wave. That terrible feeling that overcame her body. She decided to push it down and forget about it, trusting that he would have have told her if there was really something to be concerned about.
You were the one... You told me that it was a good thing to not be able to feel their presence anymore. But now it's the only thing that will bring me closer to the truth.
Later that evening, Conan recieved a message to come by Agasa's house.
"Haibara, I got your text. What's up?" he opened the unlocked front door to see the girl sitting in the living room. He looked around, noticing one person missing. "Where's Agasa?"
"He's out having dinner. I gave him a gift certificate for a buffet."
"Wow, you must be in a pretty good mood to give him a cheat day. What's the occasion?"
"Quite the opposite, actually." she jumped out of her seat to stand face to face with him. "I wanted to make sure no one could interrupt us. So you can explain yourself without anyone rushing to defend you."
"Defend?" he raised an eyebrow.
"I know about Akai. And I know about RUM too."
Conan took a step back, surprised by this sudden confrontation. "What do you mean?"
"He's living next door!" she stomped her foot. "And he's the man who was dating my sister? Oh, and don't forget that I was just inches away from the Organization!"
"Haibara-"
"I told you there was something strange about Okiya Subaru. And I told you what I knew about RUM." her head lowered, refusing to acknowledge his expression filled with concern. "In return, you don't tell me anything?"
"Please-"
"I can't even trust you anymore." she muttered.
That last statement hit him the hardest.
"Don't say that." he tried to walk towards her, but she moved away. "You can trust me."
The way she looked at him left a dreadful feeling in the pit his stomach. He'd do anything to make things back to the way they were, but he knew that was no longer an option.
"…How did you find out?"
Her mouth closed shut, suddenly laced with a look of guilt. The slight shift of her eyes told him everything he needed to know. He let out a heavy sigh, shaking his head in dissapointment.
"You bugged me?"
"Th-that's…"
"You're lecturing me about trust, and you go behind my back and do that?"
"You left me no choice!"
"You didn't give me a chance! You could have said something instead of treating me like a criminal."
"Would you have been honest? No, you would have just told me not to worry. You'll just come get me when it's convenient, right?"
"I-" he stopped himself, unable to deny her statement. Maybe he didn't need to. He took in a deep breath, letting down all his defenses. "I just wanted to let things be normal for you a little bit longer. And seeing that pain on your face when you feel their presence… I couldn't stand it. I want to give you a world where you never have to feel that pain again."
"That world doesn't exist." she said bluntly. She quickly continued, not wanting to be misconstrued. "There are some things that will always be painful. You might not think so, but I'm stronger now. I can do this. We can do this together!"
"But…" he sucked in a breath. "I promised you didn't I? I want to protect you!"
"And what if I want to protect you too?!"
The two stared at each other, breathing heavily.
"…Mm." he put a hand to his mouth.
"Quit-" she bit her tongue to hold her own softened expression back. "Quit smiling, we're fighting right now!"
"Sorry, it's just… We both want the same thing, you know?"
"Then why are we on such different pages?"
"Because we're both too damn stubborn." he chuckled. "So, if the world I wanted to give you isn't real, what kind do you want?"
"The world I want to live in… is the kind that Akemi dreamed for me. A world where I don't have to spend every moment of my life obediently following orders and making drugs."
She shook her head, noticing the regret emerge on his face.
"Don't worry, I know the antidote is more important right now. Besides…" her shoulders relaxed a bit, letting go of a weight she had been carrying. "If we don't find one, we'll be stuck like this. This isn't something we can grow out of, Kudo. We'll be children until the day we die."
"…And?"
His nonchalant reaction wasn't quite what she expected after such a devastating blow.
"What, you thought I didn't realize? Come on, Haibara. Not only did I not grow a single millimeter, but you didn't either."
"I didn't tell you that."
He smiled, patting her head. "Every time I look at you, it's the same. My neck is quite used to this angle, see?"
She shooed his hand away. "You really don't care about the possibility?"
"Sure I do! But I'm betting on you, Haibara. I know you can do it, and as long as I do my part, we can figure it out. Besides, even if the 1% chance that we stay like this really happened, I'm sure we could get through that too."
"You know, that percentage goes up every time you take an antidote before it's ready." she sighed. "That 1% has practically jumped to 50 at this point."
"Ah ha, so I still have an equal chance?" he grinned. "Well, my luck's been pretty good so far. I survived the Organization's attacks, and I met the perfect partner to fight them by my side."
"So much for being by your side." she huffed.
"I'm sorry for leaving you out." Conan reached for Ai's shoulder, an action that he had done so many times before, it was like reaching for a sip of water at this point. He pulled her in for a hug, aching to be closer to her. "I know we've been drifitng lately, but we're going to see this through together. I swear."
…Uh oh. she could feel her cheeks become warm. Her mental demands to make it stop seemed to only make it worse. She quickly pulled away, a little harder than intended.
Oh, how she wished she could jump into the sea right now.
"It's fine, Kudo-kun."
"Still being dishonest..." he collasped his head into his hands. "You're practially turning red with rage!"
"Red with-" her quickened heartbeat quickly turned into a headache. Was he really such a brilliant detective, or just an idiot in houndstooth clothing? "So what are we going to do about it?" she muttered.
Conan paused for a moment, deep in thought. Like a lightbulb went off in his head, he rushed to rummage through the nearby drawer. He smiled mischievously, holding up a small key.
"Hey, what are you-"
"First off. We're going to stop thinking about this for a moment." he said as he locked the basement.
"You know I could just tackle you for that key."
"You could!" he put a finger up. "Or… we could have a sleepover."
"What?"
"Akemi-san wanted you to have a break, didn't she? No antidote, no testing or anything. We're just going to let out everything to each other. Is that alright with you?" He put out both hands, one holding the key, and one empty.
She stared at her options for a moment, wondering if it could really be so easy after all this time.
…Damn you. She sighed as she interlocked her hand with his.
He took this chance to swiftly shove the key in his pocket and replace it with his phone.
"…"
"Hello? Ran-neechan, I'm gonna stay at Hakase's tonight!" He put on an extra high pitched voice, knowing how it made her laugh. She held it in, feeling him give her hand a light squeeze as he accepted a scolding for his typical last minute arrangements.
"It's just like our camping trips, isn't it?" Conan said as he unrolled Agasa's sleeping bag. The two were on the rooftop, making use of the little observatory. A bit cramped for two teens, but for them, it was a perfect fit.
"Is it?" Ai rolled her eyes. "I think this is far less enjoyable."
"Yeah, I guess it is more fun with the kids here."
"Speaking of which, let's not mention this little 'sleepover' to Kojima-kun and the others. We'd be branded as liars."
"Agreed."
"So much for honesty." she chuckled.
"Hey, it's a temporary setback." he clarified. "Have you tried out the telescope before? I haven't used it in ages."
"No… to be honest, I don't ever come up here." she looked out at the sky, wondering why that was.
"Hm? Is there a new moon today?" he asked as he adjusted the telescope.
"That figures." she yawned. "Maybe we don't deserve to see it today."
"Oi, don't think like that." he waved her over to come look through the eyepiece. "You'll miss out on all the stars."
Ai hesitanly leaned over to view the gentle specks of light scattered across the night. They reminded her so much of little bubbles, she could practically hear the soothing sound of being underwater. She didn't feel the usual numbing like her dreams, though. It was more like she was floating.
"This moonless night, I think it's actually a great sign." Conan spoke quietly as he took off his glasses.
"For a fresh start?" she said as she continued to gaze through the telescope.
"I'd like to think so." he went in the sleeping bag, shifting to the side to make room for her. "Do you think we're ready for one?"
She said nothing, simply walking over to join him.
A couple hours later, Agasa returned home. "Ai-kun, I brought some food for you!" he reached instinctively for the basement door, since it's where the young scientist was most of the time.
It's locked?
His attention turned to a light noise coming from above, and he curiously crept up the staircase until he could hear better. He was surprised that she wasn't typing away at her computer, and even more surprised that she wasn't alone. He could hear whispers. A giggle, then a cry… and a quiet moment. He smiled to himself, silently retreating to leave them be.
The two ended up staying awake through entire evening. Before they knew it, the sky had turned from pitch black to a gentle blue color.
"We should get some rest." Conan whispered, pulling the blanket over them.
Ai couldn't remember the last time she laid so comfortably. Through the fogginess of her eyes, she noticed a smiling face looking her way. "I can see it." she mumbled.
"See what?" he drawled, unable to keep his eyes open for much longer.
She whispered so softly, he could just barely hear it. "The moon…"
He pulled her in closer, letting her nestle beneath his chin as they both drifted to sleep.
The next day, Conan and Ai left to go to school together.
"Good morning, you two." Subaru greeted them as they stepped outside. "I didn't expect to see you here so early in the morning, Conan-kun."
"It was a nice night for stargazing, so I stayed over."
"I see… That rooftop must have some amazing views." he whistled as he looked up towards the observatory. "Mind if I check it out sometime?"
Before she could respond, Conan shook his head as he reached for her hand. "Sorry, that's a special spot for us."
The girl was thankful for his attempt at sparing her from the man she kept at arm's length, but she had another idea to ease this burden.
"Although-" Ai suddenly said, intertwining her finger's with Conan's. "I think we're overdue for dinner at your place."
Subaru was surprised by her sudden shift in demeanor. He kneeled down to her level, close enough to reveal a familiar pair of deep-set eyes. "You want to?"
"It's more efficient than barging into my place while carrying a heavy pot of food, isn't it?"
"I guess that's true." he chuckled. "I'd be honored to have you as my guest."
"You'll be joining us, right?" she looked over at Conan.
"Eh? Uh, sure…" he tilted his head, silently asking her if she was really comfortable with this arrangement.
Ai nodded confidently. "We need to get to school now. See you then, Akai-san!"
Even more startled by the bold use of his name, he let out a laugh as the two children walked away. He headed back inside the Kudo residence and removed the choker around his neck. I guess I won't need to wear this stuff tonight…
"Are you sure about this, Haibara?" Conan asked as they continued walking.
"It'll be fine." she softly smiled. "I don't have to worry about anything if I have you, right?"
"Of course." he smiled back.
"I'd rather not stay up late again though." she yawned. "Since I'm not working on the antidote today, I'd like to make up for the lost sleep."
"If it would help you rest more often, maybe I could start assisting with the lab work from now on."
"Ha! Do you know how many decorated scientists I've kicked out of my lab? I'd rather you stick to being my human test subject."
"Oi, I'm trying to be helpful..."
"Well, there is a new experiment I want to try after all this is over. You could help me out with that one, if you're interested."
"A new experiment?" his curiosity was piqued. "Is it some kind of medicine?"
"It's more of a social experiment. Akemi recommended I give it a try."
"Oh? What's the subject of it?"
"That, I can't say."
"Just a little hint?"
"It's… something you're not particularly good at."
"…What, you're gonna sing or something?"
"Not quite."
"Come on, I want to know!"
"We have a lot of work to do first." she counted on her fingers. "Taking on the Organization, finding a cure, and you know, not dying on the way… Why don't we just focus on dinner with our colleague first?"
"You know I'm going to be curious about this until I know." he pouted.
"A good mystery for you to solve then, detective" she smirked. "You're welcome."
"Gee, thanks." he chuckled. "So what happens when I figure it out?"
"I guess that would be your choice."
"Is that another hint?"
"Your last one." she sighed blissfully, waving to the three kids that were waiting for them at the entrance. "I'm in no rush though to start it though. There are some things here I still want to take good care of."
"Yeah." he gazed at the girl who looked ahead with adoration. "Same here."