Chapter Text
It was a sunny day in the goofy gang smp, birds sang cheerful melodies, the open blue canvas of the sky with fluffy clouds, the wind was calm and settled. It was meant to be a good day…
Cheap sat at his kitchen table, eating his (late) lunch of two sandwiches until a small ding! Came from his pocket, probably a notification from the group chat they all shared. The green-eyed boy held the sandwich in his mouth as he took out his phone, opening the shared group chat.
(Tinymacdude) 2 : 50 pm : GUYSSSSS ME AND ALI HAVE SMTH TO TELL YALLL
(__al1) 2 : 51 pm : YEAH COME TO THE CITY CENTER XD
(Wallibear) 2 : 51 pm : ??? wat
(Creebus) 2 : 52 pm : ok im comin rn
(Estab0k) 2 : 52 pm : what is going on???>
Cheap stared at the little screen in his hands… He already knew what news would await him when he arrived. Still, despite the dreading feeling at the pit of his stomach, Cheap slowly typed out a response with trembling fingers.
(Cheappickle) 1 : 54 pm : COMING :D
…..
Sighing, he put his phone back in his pocket and started heading out the door. The warm air greeted him as he stepped outside into the summer weather. It was a beautiful day, and Cheap knew it. It was supposed to be a beautiful day. He tried to focus on his surroundings, I’ll probably have a panic attack if I don’t, Cheap thought, bringing a slight frown on his face.
The grass beneath him felt awfully slippering, like he could fall down both physically and metaphorically right now.
He knew what the special news was, he already put all the puzzle pieces together. The way they looked at each other, the way they talked, the way they didn’t talk, their expressions, their actions… Something Cheap wished so, so much he would have from Tucker.
After arriving at the city center, he noticed he was last. Probably because Cheap just couldn’t face what was going to happen next, not just yet.
There beside the towering netherrack pillar stood all his friends, unaware of what was about to be spilled.
“What’s up Cheap?” Walli asked, making the green-haired jump, “You seem off? Is everything okay?”
“Y-yeah I’m fine,” Cheap answered, turning to face him and attempting a smile.
Walli sensed something was off.
“Hi guys!!!” Ali exclaimed while wearing a happy smile, a very pretty smile. Cheap knew why Tucker had chosen the blondie over himself. Tall, perfect smile, wings that fluttered ever so slightly.
“Hey Tucker and Ali, why did you guys bring us here?” Esta said with pure confusion.
Please.
"So we have something to tell ya'll...." Tucker began with the widest grin ever.
Murmurs quietly aroused around him, chatter from his anticipating friends.
"WE ARE OFFICIALLY DATING!" Ali and Tucker squealed in unison,
…..
And the world came crashing down onto him.
“CONGRATULATIONS!” yelled Esta, jumping up and down in excitement.
“I KNEW you liked him!” Creebus half laughed, half shouted, “Walli~ You owe me ten diamonds!”
“Dang it!” Walli scowed in defeat but with a cheerful face, “But YAY! Congratulations, I’m so happy for you two!” he smiled brightly, facing Tucker and Ali.
…..
“Um, Cheap?” Esta said, “Aren’t you gonna say something?”
Cheap quickly snapped out of his thoughts. The world felt heavy, it was too heavy, the warm air around him suddenly started to feel suffocating. Cheap could feel the tears behind his eyes already.
“Y-yeah Congrats!” He said while trying his absolute hardest not to cry right here right this moment.
“Dude. I thought you would have a little more excitement?” Creebus said, turning around to face Cheap, “Tucker is your best friend.”
Best friend
Best friend
“N-No, Yeah… I-I am happy for you two!” Cheap said with as much excitement he could muster. Everyone’s eyes were on him now. He didn’t like it. Everything felt heavy on his body. He felt as if his knees could give out any second now.
“Cheap? You were like the biggest Tucker and Al1 shipper.” Walli asked, taking a step towards Cheap.
“I… I gotta go! Sorry, bye guys!” He quickly said, desperate to avoid the stares. The green-eyed quickly bolted away from everyone and to the comforts and safety of his own home. Everything was crashing down on him, the tears already falling as he ran. The air, the air was too thick. The ground was too slippery. You knew it would eventually happen, why are you running away from the truth?
…..
You are unlovable.
…..
And Cheap knew it.
------------------------------
Inside, the walls caved in on him, Cheap was never claustrophobic, but he could be now. He ran past the kitchen, where his unfinished sandwich sat. Fifthteen minutes felt like hours ago, when his world was still intact. Slamming his bedroom door shut, the boy dropped to the floor and curled into a ball. He felt the tears streaming down his face, still, he did nothing to stop it.
Many notifications were coming from his phone, from his friends. They probably hate me now, Cheap thought to himself through the endless waterfall of tears. Why can’t you just be happy for them, why cant you be a GOOD, best friend.
…..
This is why he chose Ali over you… Pathetic
…..
Why did his inner monologue have to be so mean?
Cheap took a peek of his room from the comfort of his own arms, his vision was hazy but he could spot the little green notebook that sat on his desk. The very one he used to journal his feelings because he knew he could never tell anyone. Cheap wanted to rip that thing up, he hoped if he did, all the feelings he ever knew of for his best friend would vanish. Cheap wanted to watch as the writing tore up on the ground, his emotions and thoughts gone and for a good reason.
The small notifications from his phone slowly decreased, as he sat on the floor, bawling his eyes out. Everything was freezing cold and burning hot at the same time. Time was in slow motion yet passing by so quickly as he cried.
Not wanting to just sit on the floor and cry, Cheap grabbed the notebook and a pen with shaking hands. His handwriting was already messy, the tears and shaking hands did not help.
Before he knew it, it was already five in the evening, two hours spent on journeling his STUPID feelings. Everything was numb. Sniffles and coughs could still be heard faintly from his room as Cheap wiped off the remaining tears.
Letting go of the pen, which only now he realised he was gripping so tightly, Cheap plopped down onto his bed. Letting himself sink into the mattress like the reality sinking in, penetrating his heart. The green-eyed wasn’t hungry, he should be after skipping breakfast and having half a lunch… But he wasn’t. He already felt heavy enough from everything that happened today.
The environment must have understood him. The birds' cheerful songs stopped, the clouds seemed a little more gray and the silence was piercing. It wasn’t peaceful silence, the one Cheap loved when it was just him and Tucker in each other’s presence, no it wasn’t that. It was the silence that was as loud as it was quiet.
Suddenly, from the corner of his eye, Cheap spotted the tiny container of pills on his shelf.
WARNING! Do NOT take over the suggested amount!
Such actions could lead to perishing.
Do it. You don’t deserve to live. Do it. Do it. DO IT.
He just couldn’t help himself. He couldn’t take it anymore. Everything hated him and now everyone probably hates him too. Cheap’s whole body operated on his own, he didn’t have control over ANYTHING, anymore.
The pop of the container opening split the air into two, and the silence that came afterwards broke it. He. Was. UNLOVABLE.
----------- Epilogue ----------
“CHEAP. PICKLE! I DON’T CARE IF YOU LIKE IT OR NOT! I’M COMING IN!” Walli shouted, kicking open the bedroom door with Tucker and Ali behind him.
It had been days, DAYS since any of them had gotten even a single word from Cheap… And Walli was sick of it. He cared about Cheap, Cheap should know that.
Walli knew something was off the day Ali and Tucker had announced they were dating. Cheap… He was off. Usually he would be the gangs biggest and most supportive shipper of everyone. He helped get Creebus and Esta together and he always seemed to push the idea of his best friend and Ali as a couple. Why did he act so weird that day? Wasn’t it what he wanted?
Earlier today, the bear-boy had had enough, he needed to check if Cheap was okay. He couldn’t just avoid all of the gang forever! Creebus and Esta were out mining so he gathered who was left - Tucker and Ali - and together, the little trio marched to Cheap’s house to confront him of his isolation.
The front door to Cheap’s house was surprisingly unlocked, so he, Tucker and Ali walked inside. A stale sandwich sat on the kitchen counter, half eaten but seemingly untouched for days. Had Cheap eaten? Walli wondered to himself. The trio searched the house. Tucker in the living room, Walli in the recording office and Ali in the storage room. No signs of Cheap anywhere in those places… There was one room left…
Walli, Tucker and Ali stood at the locked bedroom door, unsure of what to do or how to approach Cheap.
“Cheap?” Tucker asked, knocking on the wooden door. No response.
“CHEAP? You there man?” Ali yelled, through the door crack.
Walli had enough. He was going to break through the door whether Cheap wanted him to or not. Summoning as much strength as he could, Walli ran up to the door and kicked it down. Leading to the current state of shock everyone was in once they saw the room.
There Cheap was, laying still on the ground in the same outfit he wore on that very day. He had an empty pill bottle in hand…No….
“H-He didn’t…Right?” Ali asked, taking Tucker’s arm into his grasp.
Walli walked over with careful steps, in silence. Taking the small bottle in his hands, he inspected the labelling on the sides.
WARNING! Do NOT take over the suggested amount!
Such actions could lead to perishing.
“No….” Walli began, flipping the bottle over and over again, silently hoping wherever he read the label again the words would change. That he read it wrong. But Walli’s good with literature, and the deadly sentence never changed. Looking at the empty bottle, he knew exactly what Cheap did.
“But why?” He whispered in anger and in agony.
Tucker rushed to Cheap’s side, shaking the limp body desperately. Cheap's hair was messy and he looked sleep deprived. Dried Tear streaks ran down his face, wait, he was crying?
“CHEAP? BUDDY? THIS IS NOT FUNNY DUDE?” He yelled, nearly laughing as tears formed at the side of his eyes, “WAKE UP!”
Ali sat beside Tucker and put his hands over where Cheap’s heart was. Cold. No pulse.
“Why? W-why would he do this?” Ali stammered.
While Walli was panicking over his thoughts, an open notebook sat on the messy bed sheets. Maybe this would have some answers?
Walli took the notebook in his hands like it was a priceless artifact, the messy handwriting could only be Cheap's - Everyone knew that. He began reading the latest, and last, entry of the journal.
Hello nonexistent reader,
The first sentence read in messy, blue pen ink.
Today, Ali and Tucker got together. And I know I should be happy…But I’m not, I wish I was. They look so cute as a couple together! :) I just really wish, that could've been me…
Cheap likes Tucker?
But that’s okay, I don’t deserve him anyways. They told us that they were official today after I had lunch, everyone was congratulating them, except me. I tried, trust me I really tried but I couldn’t, I couldn’t bring myself to it. I hate it. I don’t want to hate Ali and I don’t, but I hate what happened… I’m such a bad friend.
They both deserve each other. Tucker is everything I want and Ali is everything I don’t have. :(
That’s okay I guess, :/
Everyone probably hates me, I don’t blame them. What kind of best friend isn’t happy when their best friend is? Apparently I’m just not good at being a best friend. They probably all hate me. I don’t like this.
If someone ever reads this, I apologise for the messy writing, I know, I’m kind of over sensitive but I can’t help it.
Everything hurts. Do I have a reason to live? Do I even DESERVE to live? I don’t know and I’m trying to figure it out too. I guess I am just UNLOVABLE. <3
- Cheap