Work Text:
“Parker, did you explain follow up care instruction to the Sawyer family?” Jack asks without looking up from the iPad.
“Yes…” Her quizzical tone pulls his attention, and he finds her studying him, amused.
“That’s not the first time I’ve asked you that, is it?”
“It’s fine, I’m giving you slack today,” she says before her smile goes teasing. “It’s your boyfriend’s first day back.”
He magnanimously allows her to have her fun with the boyfriend comment while trying to ignore how much he aches for it to be the truth. He knows he’s been off all shift, the result of worrying about what state Robby will be in when he arrives. He really should have stopped by Robby’s place yesterday to catch up, but that had felt like something a boyfriend, not a friend, would do. Now he has to deal with seeing Robby for the first time in three months at handoff.
In his bitchier moments, Jack had privately thought the sabbatical would be a complete waste of time, another way for Robby to avoid dealing with his real problems. Maybe Jack was too scared to hope it would be a step in the right direction. He’s thrilled to be proven wrong, or at least he would have been if the feeling wasn’t overwhelmed by the sharp longing that pulls at him when he catches sight of Robby walking in.
He looks well rested, the formerly ever-present frown lines and circles under his eyes dramatically reduced. His shoulders are back in a way that emphasizes the length and breadth of his frame, and a devastating smile stretches across his face as he locks eyes with Jack. He looks so fucking good.
Robby is practically jogging to get to Jack, and when he reaches him, he curls around him in a warm familiar hug.
“It’s so good to see you, man,” Robby exhales out, one arm tight around Jack’s shoulders and the other hand smoothing over the back of his neck. Jack has to steel himself against the shiver that runs down his spine.
“Yeah, same, brother,” is all Jack can manage in reply.
He steps out of the hug to find that Parker has thankfully disappeared. The last thing he needs is an audience right now.
He and Robby start making the rounds, and never in his life has he had to pay closer attention to how often he needs to make eye contact with a conversation partner before it gets weird not to because every time his eyes connect with Robby’s he completely loses his train of thought.
Robby is good enough to wait until the second time Jack drops the iPad to crack a joke about him having med student hands today. There’s an actual twinkle in Robby’s deep brown eyes as he ribs him that prevents Jack’s brain from supplying any sort of comeback, so he just chuckles weakly before heading toward the next exam room.
“Looking good, Cap,” Dana says when they finish back at central. Robby’s answering blush causes an alarming lurch in Jack’s stomach.
Parker chooses that moment to pass behind Robby and make eye contact with Jack with her jaw dropped dramatically. The glare Jack sends her way is clearly not intimidating enough because he can see her shoulders shaking with laughter all the way to the lockers.
A part of him feels reassured that he’s not imagining how much better Robby looks, but mostly he just wants to get the fuck out of here before he embarrasses himself further. He feels far too unstable to be the subject of even good natured teasing right now.
“Alright I’m out, friends. I’ll see you all on Wednesday,” he says to the room at large before turning to Robby with a pat on his arm. “It’s great to have you back, Robby.”
Something flickers across Robby’s face, like a slight dimming of the glow he’s sporting today, gone as fast as it came. He leans in to Jack and tilts his head toward the hallway. “Before you go, do you have a sec?”
Jack nods and leads the way, hoping in vain that a few seconds without Robby in his line of sight will allow him to get his shit together.
“I just wanted you to know,” Robby begins when they’re out of earshot of everyone else. “I spent a lot of time thinking while I was away, and I’ve accepted that I can’t keep going the way I was before. So I actually cut the trip a little short, came back early, and I’ve had a couple of appointments with the therapist your guy recommended. I wouldn’t say it’s been easy getting started, but it feels right.”
Robby rocks up onto his toes with childlike excitement to share this news he knows will make Jack happy. And it does, he’s over the moon that Robby is finally resolved to do the work to feel better. But Jack is also seconds away from destroying their friendship by hauling Robby’s mouth down to his in their workplace, so extricating himself from this situation is priority number one right now.
“That’s awesome, man,” he tries so hard to sound enthusiastic. “I have to head out, but have a great first shift back.”
His sleep had suffered the entire time Robby was gone but nothing like the tossing and turning and jolting awake after only minutes of sleep that the past few hours have brought. It’s one of the body’s cruelest tricks to be this exhausted and still unable to quiet your mind.
It honestly never occurred to him that the last time Robby was in a truly good headspace was back when Jack was still a happily married man and before the discovery that his feelings for Robby ran deeper than friendship. He’s been nursing this crush for years, but it has always been easy to keep in check, a pipe dream, wouldn’t it be nice, sort of thing. Of course seeing Robby healing would be the trigger that opened his Pandora’s box of wanting.
He scrubs a hand down his face before sitting up and throwing off the covers. He puts on his prosthesis and a pair of sweatpants, then heads for the workout equipment in the guest room, setting about a punishing routine to get his mind off of Robby. He’s just about to reach a new pull-up PR when a knock sounds at his front door.
There’s no one it could be but Robby. The only thing preventing Jack from taking the cowardly approach and pretending not to be home is the gnawing worry that Robby’s improved mental state could be more tenuous than it seems. He takes a deep breath and then makes his way to the door.
Jack is equal parts relieved and horrified to see that the shine Robby had this morning hasn’t dulled throughout his shift.
“Oh,” Robby says, blinking in surprise at the state of him. His eyes track down to Jack’s bare chest, rising and falling more rapidly than usual from his workout. Robby’s face briefly contorts into something Jack can’t read before smoothing out again. “I thought I was going to need to apologize for waking you up.”
“Couldn’t sleep,” he explains while gesturing for Robby to come in. “How was the first shift back?”
“As good as I could ask for, largely uneventful. Sorry to stop by unannounced, but I wanted to see you. You seemed off this morning.”
Jack opens his mouth without being entirely sure what was going to come out but thankfully Robby keeps talking.
“I know I left you alone in the shit for a while, and I’m sorry about that-“
“No,” Jack cuts him off. “Don’t ever apologize to me for taking care of yourself.” Damn it, too intense. He softens his tone before he continues. “Besides, we were fine here. Or at least no more not fine than usual.”
“Then why are you so pissed?”
“I’m not pissed, man. Everything’s fine.”
Robby’s hand goes through his hair before he adopts the stance he takes with difficult patients, arms folded over his chest.
“I haven’t seen you in three months, and I missed you a lot by the way, and I come back, and it feels like there’s this huge fucking wall between us.”
There is no good explanation for the disconnect between them besides the truth, and not for the first time, Jack finds himself wishing Robby knew him a little less well.
“Would you put a shirt on for this conversation?” Robby says after he’s met with Jack’s silence, his voice gone a little high-strung.
“Why?” Jack asks, partly out of genuine confusion but also trying to buy himself more time to come up with a reasonable excuse for his behavior.
“For fuck’s sake,” Robby mutters with a head shake, then he crosses the distance between them in two fluid strides.
For a wild moment, he assumes Robby is going to take a swing at him because that makes far more sense than what actually happens, Robby grabbing Jack’s face with both his hands and crushing their mouths together.
Jack responds on instinct, his lips slotting against Robby’s with all the satisfaction of a final puzzle piece going into place. The first brush of Robby’s tongue against his short circuits his brain, and all he can do is grab a fistful of Robby’s hoody to try to ground himself.
Robby’s hands migrate down to his torso, one anchoring him at his lower back while the other skims feather-light down his ribcage and over his abs before tracing a path along the waistband of his sweatpants that pulls an agonized groan from Jack’s throat.
No longer able to withstand the onslaught, Jack goes on offense. He pushes Robby backwards until his back hits the kitchen island. Then he curls a hand around Robby’s neck and uses his thumb to tilt his jaw into a better angle. His other hand slips under Robby’s scrub top, his breath hitching when Jack’s fingers meet bare skin.
“Wait, wait,” Robby gasps. He pulls back just enough to look Jack in the eye. “We should talk.”
“You…” Jack’s panting like he just ran a race. “Want to talk… like, now?”
“I want…” Robby’s eyes scan his face for a moment looking completely helpless before his expression settles into resolve. “I want to do this the right way. This is important to me.”
He nods, a nearly unbearable fondness warming his chest. He presses his forehead to Robby’s temple and takes a slow breath before responding.
“Go get comfy on the couch. I’ll order us some food.”
He starts to move toward his phone before Robby stops him with a firm hand on his hip.
“Don’t put on a shirt,” Robby murmurs, lower than Jack has ever heard him.
Jack’s grin feels feral as he replies, “always wondered what your bedroom voice would sound like.”
He gets yanked back in for another bone melting kiss that heats up quickly before Robby pulls back and whispers, “menace.”
They separate, and Jack is practically floating as he retrieves his phone from his nightstand. He picks a saved order from one of Robby’s favorite spots in the delivery app.
He returns to find Robby has turned on ESPN but is staring so blankly at the TV, Jack would bet he couldn’t answer what sport was on. Robby’s eyes shift over to him, a slow incredulous smile takes over his face, and he shakes his head as if to say, “what the fuck, man?”
Jack just shrugs lightly and then flops more onto Robby than the couch, his back to Robby’s front, thrilled that this casual invasion of space is something he can just do now. Robby catches him with ease, a strong arm wrapping around his shoulders. Jack lets the combination of Robby’s smell and warmth wash over him. They can talk when the food gets here, for now he allows his eyes to drift closed, finally able to rest.