Chapter Text
Straight hair, straight As, straightforward,
Straight path, I don’t cut corners,
I make a point to be on time,
Head out the student council
September 2nd, 1985.
Alex’s first day of senior year.
This was it- this whole year was going to decide her future, and she couldn’t let any of it go wrong. Her GPA was already 5.0, but she couldn’t take any chances. She had to get into Harvard.
As she strode through the hallways, arms wrapped around her books, principal’s voice blaring over the speakers, she felt at home. She couldn’t bear summer vacation; there was nothing for her to do, no learning, and nothing to distract her wondering thoughts on a daily basis. She had to have some sort of routine in her life.
She picked out her desk for the year, being one of the first in class, and of course chose the seat she’d had since freshman year- second row center. She would’ve been at the front, but she didn’t want to seem too overenthusiastic and feed into the popular girl’s jokes of her being a ‘teacher’s pet’.
She opened her notebook as the teacher started to take attendance, creating a strict study plan for herself to follow for the rest of the semester, pen pressed to her lips as she thought.
“Alex?” The teacher questioned, snapping her out of her thoughts.
“Sorry, what did you say?”
“The school counselor requested for you to see her in her office.”
“Ooooo,” one girl at the back of her class joked.
Casey had always been trouble for her, poking fun at her ever since the start of middle school. Alex flicked her sleek blonde hair behind her shoulder, her side part annoying her as always, before rising from her chair and making her way to the door, not noticing how flushed her cheeks had become from the crude comment.
I don’t black out at parties,
I jam to Paul McCartney,
If you ask me how I’m doin’
I’ll say “Well hmm..”
“Is that all Alex? You know you can talk to me about how you feel, that is what I’m here for remember,” she older woman spoke gently, leaning forward in her chair with a face of worry.
“No really, I just… I don’t know. I didn’t even do much over the summer, I don’t have much to say.”
“You didn’t see anyone?”
“Well…”
“They were working the whole summer? No chance to see them at all?”
“Their work is very important to them. They have expectations and-“
“I’m going to give your uncle a call later. You’re their daughter! I think it would be beneficial for you to see them more often.”
Alex let out a deep sigh, her eyes fixed upon the plain cream wall in front of her. Yeah right, she thought, like a call would make any difference at all.
I was adopted when I was two,
My parents spoiled me rotten.
Often I ask myself “What did I do
To get as far as I’ve gotten?”
She was only a toddler when her father got the promotion to work as Chief DA, her parents deciding not long after that she’d have to be sent to live at her aunt and uncle’s house, as the hours they worked would be too intense to look after a young child. Thus, she’d been living in New Jersey ever since. She loved her aunt and uncle as if they were her own parents, but sometimes she felt a deep pain in her heart that her real parents had chosen a job over her. In recent years, they’d been seeing her less and less, and Alex was starting to question whether they even thought about her anymore.
By the time she was back in class, there was only 15 minutes left before the bell rang out signaling the end of homeroom, the loud teenagers hustling out of the room into the hallway.
Alex stood at her locker and placed her books on the shelves, setting all of her subject books out in alphabetical order, before shutting the door and turning around, her heart skipping a beat as she was met with a new face she that couldn’t remember ever seeing before.
A pretty girl walks by my locker,
My heart gives a flutter,
But I don’t dare utter a word,
Cause that would be absurd behavior for Little Miss Perfect.
The girl radiated sunshine, her gentle smile killing Alex as she watched. Her dark hair was permed and sat just above her shoulders, and she was dressed in a pink and blue polo shirt, which she had tucked into her light wash jeans. People like this never really drew Alex in- she tended to keep to herself instead of talking to the girls in dirty reeboks- but there was something about her that had a real hold on her.
Alex whipped her head around and walked in the opposite direction, away from this new mystery girl whom was now leaned back against a locker laughing with some friends. Even her laugh was enchanting, Alex said in her head.
When she locked the bathroom stall and knew that no one else was in there, she sat down on the toilet seat and put her head in her hands, ignoring the uncleanliness of her surroundings. What was happening to her? This certainly wasn’t normal. She just had to forget about it, ignore this girl and get on with her life. Anyway, it’s not likely they’d have any classes together- the blonde highly doubted she’d be taking criminal law or be in debate club.
However, Alex had been painfully wrong in her assumptions.
She almost passed out when she saw the same girl take a seat in law class, sliding into a seat at the other side of the room. As her eyes wondered over to the brunette, she knew that she would be in for a long year. One year. One year and she’d be out of this school and probably never see her again. She just had to get through the nine months without talking to her, and then hopefully she wouldn’t feel anything stronger than she was now.
The hour seemed to drag on as Alex took notes, or at least it seemed to for her, constantly checking the clock and counting down the singular minutes there was until break.
“Group assignment due for our lesson next Monday, groups of two. I want to see a case study of a trial from the last ten years where bias has played an important role in the final outcome in court. You can choose your own groups.”
Oh fuck, Alex thought.
“Ok, class dismissed.”
Alex hated group work, she always had to be the one in control otherwise she’d totally flip on the other person if she didn’t like their ideas.
The class thinned out as students left. Alex believed she was the only one left in the room, taking her time to place her stuff back into her bag, before a soft voice from behind her interrupted her train of thought.
“Hey,” the voice said, making the blonde jump with surprise before turning to see who it was.
“I’m sorry if I frightened you! My name’s Olivia.”
Alex scrambled to find her words, “N-no you didn’t frighten me, I just thought everyone had left already.”
“Oh, well, I’m new to the school and don’t really know anyone in this class yet, so I was wondering if you’d want to do the project with me?”
Alex was stunned, but it didn’t even take her a second to make up her mind.
“Yes! I mean, yeah, ok.”
“Great,” Olivia laughed, “oh and I never quite got your name?”
“Alexandra, but just Alex is fine.”
“Ok Alex,” she parroted, making her way to the door before turning her head to speak, “I’ll see you around.”
And then she was gone.
Alex couldn’t believe herself.
This could ruin her completely.
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na, no
I can’t risk falling off my throne,
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, love
Is something I don’t even know.
Alex trodded over dead orange leaves scattering the sidewalk on her way home that afternoon, her mind continuously going back to the girl who she now knew was called Olivia. She couldn’t wait for them to work on the assignment together, but at the same time she was really dreading it. It was a feeling she had never experienced before.
She ran up to her room as soon as she was through the front door, shutting her own door before flopping onto her mattress and staring up at the ceiling. It’s just a project, nothing more, Alex thought. The main thing she should be concerned about was how committed and knowing Olivia actually was in law. This shouldn’t worry Alex as much as it was, it mustn’t, should it? No.
Straight hair, straight A’s,
Straightforward, straight girl.
Little Miss Perfect, that’s me.
Friday night- the day Olivia was to come over for them to work on their project. Her room was already clean, as it always was, but Alex kept trying to find things out of place to fix in an attempt to distract herself from what was to come later that evening.
Her heart was going 100mph- Olivia was going to be here in her room in only an hour. It’s just to work on our project, Alex kept telling herself, nothing more. But still, this didn’t stop her palms from sweating just at the thought.
“Lex,” her Uncle Bill called from his office.
“Yeah?”
“I think your friend is walking up to the door now.”
Shit. She wasn’t supposed to be here for another hour. Why was she so early? Alex ran down the stairs, swinging open the door just before Olivia had a chance to ring the bell.
“Oh! Hey,” Olivia smiled, shocked by how Alex already knew she was coming to the door.
“Hi.”
“Sorry I’m so early I just… well my mom uhh… was being a pain in the ass I guess. I hope this is ok?”
“Yeah, no, of course! Um… my room is just upstairs if you’d follow me,”
The two made their way up the stairs, Olivia turning her head to look at her new surroundings.
“Wow, your house is really nice!”
“Thank you,” Alex grinned, “and this is my room. You can sit wherever.”
Her room looked soft in the warm lighting, instantly making Olivia feel comfortable from what Alex guessed. She had put fresh pink floral sheets down earlier that afternoon, which complimented her green floral wallpaper perfectly.
“It’s so clean,” Olivia stated, “you would hate my room if you saw how messy it was.”
Alex chuckled, “I can’t concentrate if it’s not like this.”
One night, my friend came over,
We laughed, and drank and ordered,
Something about her drew me in…
What?! It’s totally platonic!
“Yeah she just totally freaked out- you should’ve seen her face while she was trying to calm the class down afterwards!” Alex laughed, both of them sitting on the bed, facing each other with a can of Bud Light in hand.
Alex’s Aunt and Uncle had gone out for dinner about an hour before, leaving Olivia and Alex home alone to work on their projects together, which they did, for a while anyway.
“Oh hey,” Olivia said, lifting herself up from the bed and walking across the room, “you have a cassette player!”
Olivia didn’t even ask before she pressed the button, ‘If You Were Here Tonight’ by Alexander O’Neal pumping out of the speakers shortly after.
“You have taste Alex,” she giggled, starting to move her body to the beat as Alex simply sat watching her, completely memorized.
She was everything that Alex wasn’t- confident, charismatic, glowing even. The brunette grinned as she moved her shoulders to the song in perfect bliss, lost within the music in an instant.
She moved back to turn it off soon after, smiling at Alex as she sat down.
That night was so exciting,
Her smirks were so enticing,
Hours speed by like seconds, then,
What happens is iconic
“Ok so,” Alex began as she shoved another chip into her mouth, “in conclusion, Washington v Davis is significant in proving the discriminatory bias that the constitution holds against African Americans as…” she trailed off.
“Wait gimme the pen,” Olivia says before taking the pen straight out of the other girl’s hand.
As their fingers brushed, Alex could feel her heart beat out of her chest, exploding with a feeling that she couldn’t even try to describe. Olivia touch was so smooth, so gentle against her milk-like skin.
“What about this?” Olivia asked, turning the paper back to Alex to read.
“Sounds perfect to me! You’re really good at this Liv- I mean Olivia! Sorry- I don’t know where that came from.”
The brunette couldn’t help but laugh a little, “It’s ok, lots of people call me Liv, I like it. Anyways, you’re really talented at law too. Give it ten years and you’ll be a DA somewhere I bet!”
“That is the dream one day. What do you want to do after high school?”
“Police academy for sure; it’s the only reason I’m taking this course, ya know, to get a better understanding of the law and stuff before I do my training.”
“Really?” She exclaimed raising her eyebrows slightly, “what do you want to do in the police?”
“Well I want to work with victims, in New York City preferably.”
“No way! I was born there!”
“Same here!”
“Is that where you moved from?”
“Oh no, that’s um… that’s a long story. I was born in NYC, then when I was 7 we moved to Cincinnati, then after 3 years Wisconsin, then after 4 years we went to Des Moines, and um… now we’re here.”
“Oh wow…” Alex replied, not expecting an answer like that at all, “that is a LOT of moving.”
“Yeah my mom is kinda… yeah… we just move a lot.”
“My parents are complicated too- they still live in the city. I live here with my Aunt and Uncle.”
Olivia took another sip of her beer, tilting her head to the side and furrowing her brows, “How come?”
“They work, a lot, and I guess decided that that was more important to them than I was.”
She takes a sip, I bite my lip,
She cracks a joke, I nearly choke,
She braids my hair,
I sit there blacking out for the first time
Alex suddenly felt very vulnerable. Not in an uncomfortable way, but a safe sort of way, like she could tell anything to Olivia and not feel judged or pitied.
“I’m so sorry Alex, that sounds horrible.”
The blonde shrugged and smiled gently, “It is what it is, and I love my Aunt and Uncle, so it could be worse.”
“You feeling buzzed from the beer already?” Olivia joked.
“Huh?”
“You’re totally flushed!”
Alex picked herself up and examined her face in the mirror- Olivia certainly wasn’t lying.
“Oh my God, ew! Why do my eyes look so big?”
“Never drunk before?”
“Yes. I had champagne at my cousin’s wedding last spring,” Alex admitted.
“But not beer drunk? Trust me, it’s more fun!”
“I didn’t realize you were such an alcoholic Olivia Benson!” Alex sniggered.
Olivia laughed at this; obviously, she thought, Alex had no idea what a true alcoholic was like, seeming as she had to deal with one everyday.
“I’m really not, I swear!” She replied, both of them now chuckling with each other. “Hey Lex, can I braid your hair?”
“Why?”
“I dunno, for fun! I love doing people’s hair sometimes.”
“Ok,” Alex agreed, taking a seat on the floor as Olivia plopped herself onto the edge of the bed and ran her fingers through her honey-like silk hair.
Alex’s stomach felt as if it was doing backflips at the feel of Olivia’s warm hands touching her. Neither of them spoke until after Olivia had finished, tying it safely with one of her power pink velvet scrunchies.
“And voila!”
Alex grabbed a handheld mirror from her bedside table, admiring the braid.
“You look beautiful Alex.”
The blonde set the mirror back on the oak surface- she could hear her heart pounding in her ears as the world around them melted away, and it was just them and their slightly tipsy impulsive thoughts.
Alex watched as Olivia’s eyes trailed down to her lips, Alex following this action as she re-wet her own. And slowly but carefully, without breaking eye contact, Olivia shuffled herself down onto the floor, Alex scooting closer until their bodies were almost touching.
“Can I?” The brunette whispered.
Alex didn’t even need to respond- her eyes said more than words could ever do.
Next thing I know, I lose control,
I finally kiss her, but oh no,
I see a face in my window
“Hey honey, we’re home!” A loud voice belonging to Uncle Bill boomed through the house.
Alex pulled away in an instant, her ming still swarming with the sensation of Olivia’s tender lips pressed against her own. She stood up and moved their assignment papers off of her bed.
“It’s getting late, you should probably head home.”
“Ok,” Olivia nodded, pulling herself off the floor and swing her backpack over one of her shoulders. “And hey, thanks for tonight. I really enjoyed working on the project with you and… you know, talking and… stuff. I’ll catch ya on Monday.”
“Yeah, I’ll see you then. Bye Liv.”
Then my brain starts to go
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na, no
You can’t risk falling off your throne,
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la love
Is something you don’t even know.
Alex lay in her bed that night, her perfect, pristine floral sheets covering her in warmth. She turned on her side to look at her Wham! poster for moral support. Was she supposed to feel guilty? She knew she was, but for some reason, she just couldn’t bring herself to.
There was something about Olivia, something drawing her in completely without mercy that she just couldn’t escape; and after tonight, something she now knew neither of them could ignore.
Yes, she was supposed to be Little Miss Perfect, but with Olivia around? There was no chance even trying to kid herself.