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the singing monsters were not ones to reject a newcomer, let alone a newcomer from the other world, but bbli$zard felt just as rejected in the monster world as he felt in the human world before his... creation. since the prior month he wakes up at the presumed morning in the permanent polar night proper of the cold island and tries a new outfit to... what exactly? hes always yearned for attention and validation, as an artist thats always been the case.
the transition, the change of status has been a welcome one for him but one hard to adjust to, too. his confident self doesnt falter in the other monsters presence though, no. but he realizes it doesnt work to act overfamiliar until they like him. it really doesnt.
he gets up and puts on one of his many flashy pants, foregoing a shirt as per usual. hes always been comfortable with his body, enough to show it off when he feels proud. he opens his window, the freezing wind hitting his scales. he loves the cold. he runs his 3 digit hand over the brunet hair he inherited. thatd probably be a vibe if he was just as hot as before. he might just be.
oh yeah, his anatomy. its only a little uncomfortable that he cant retract his godzilla spines when lying down to relax or sleep, or that he breathes fire and doesnt always control when it just shoots out of him, or that his vision only improved marginally, what with the having one eye thing. it doesnt actively bother him to have 3 fingers now, one would assume it would but its not like theres many uses for them in the monster world now that he thinks about it. its not like the game he barely remembers, hes just supposed to live. and thats it for him.
he has made some friends, though! yeozoh, a young epic strombonin around his theoretical age, was the first to welcome him into the island and pretty much an instant connection. a more unlikely friendship was the one he holds with picasso, a grumpyre from ethereal island he met gaming online... the guy also introduced him to his islands epic wubbox, of the username Aut0h4uNt, who is still distant but willing to game with him. thats...
thats a sad amount, isnt it? its not like he was one to have a big circle either, who cares. he kind of misses the nebulous people in his residual memories, but this is his reality and he just appreciates having friends at all. hes sort of friendly one (1) mammott from his island, the deedges and bowgarts are cool with him, and the werdos are sort of coming around to him being here in the first place. the werdos more than anyone know the nature of their existence, bbli$zard meanwhile doesnt know who theyre supposed to be stand-ins for.
he just wonders if monsters on other islands would welcome him better. yeah, hes not thinking about going back to the human world or nothing. hes a monster and he will stay one, he doesnt think of attending the sporadic monster handler visits either.
in his musings he remembers the only other monster who would get him, the similarly made shugabush. he had heard the rare deedge talking about the guy the other day, and the cold island is close to it; relatively, shugabush island is situated on the rift. is he even liked enough to ask around for a way to go meet him and the shugafam? it... wouldnt hurt to try. even though only some monsters are usually supposed to only be teleported there if they so wish at level 15. which kinda means nothing to him actually.
he looks at himself in the mirror. he shrugs, hes hot. he leaves his suite in the carved frozium castle and exits to find the deedge he remembers. surprisingly no, monsters of the same species dont look all the same. theres differences to them if you know what they are, but again, it was a rare deedge and her name was rooth, from what he heard. he finds her dueting with the epic wubbox of the island. he remembers it being called Iceonox or something.
"yo, rooth!" he calls for her, getting her attention. "thats your name, right? can we talk for a sec?"
rooth purses her lips and nods, dismissing the epic wubbox goodbye. it leaves to talk to other monsters. "alright, yeah, whats up?"
bbli$zard approaches a bit awkwardly. "so-- i heard you say something about shugabush island, ive been really meaning to know that guy. you know a way to get there? i mean, as a monster who cant get teleported."
she puts her hand on her waist. "yeah, ive been meaning to go there too actually! i was just, yeah, saying goodbye to the mons before i will it, and stuff. not sure i can just take you there with me, though, thats not how teleporting works."
"yeah, didnt think so." he mutters.
"but like, maybe if you ask some tweedles nicely? i mean, you look lightweight, and uh, vittorias friends with, ah-- heh, friends," she makes air quotes with a smirk, "with peggie the shugitar. im sure she wont mind the trip."
he puts his hands in his pockets. "so, you think i can just go ahead and ask her or...?"
"well, i can ask her myself, cause she doesnt know you."
"yeah, that works."
rooth nods and calls her over, "hey vittoria! the new guy needs your help." vittoria the tweedle tilts her head for a sec then leaves her fleet. "bbli$zard here wants a trip to shugabush island, and im kinda going there already. you coming with?"
vittoria hums positively, visibly giddy over something. rooth peaces out and wills her teleportation to shugabush island, disappearing into a cool blue vortex before vittoria takes his shoulders into her talons and flies northwest of cold island with him. "alright, off we go!"
she seems to have no issue with his weight, so bbli$zard isnt worried about falling. two monsters helping him no problem, and so quickly. his perceived rejection mustve been all in his head. it is, isnt it? he wants to think so. his human self, hed be lying if he said the hate didnt get to him at least a little. his whole thing, confidence and unapologetic extravagance, it was a character, now its just him. its himself that he feels fundamentally rejected. he didnt think hed keep the baggage. he looks down into the living ocean, sea critters and water element monsters in his sight.
"damn, i hadnt looked outside the island yet..." he mutters mostly to himself.
vittoria makes it a conversation. "ooh, i get it, the stars are beautiful enough its all you wanna see, arent they? hey, you can ask any of us for trips any time, by the way. im an air elemental but im fairly strong!" she speaks, friendly.
"good to know," he answers, polite. "thanks for the flight, i-- i really appreciate it." now honest. "i feel like if anyone understands how i feel, its probably him. this-- shugabush guy, i mean. he would get it, right? hes been here longer than me, he can... help me figure my stuff out..."
"are you... not feeling well? thats okay, you know? happens to a lot of us!" she tries to relate; but well, no, she wouldnt get the experience of a unique legendary. on the other hand, its not like depression or the likes doesnt exist in the monster world.
bbli$zard frowns a little. "i really dont wanna, uh, get into that right now. but its a little weird. with me. im doing fine though, no big deal." okay, it only becomes a lesser deal when he takes his time to rationalize it.
"aww, well, you can always talk to us! and i mean any of us on the island. some of us were still nervous about having a new guy, but were all willing to be friends!" she assures. the monster world is friendly. "including the rare grumpyre, by the way; i know theyre hard to read, but learn to look past that and you might find theyre a good listener!"
"okay! okay, ill keep that in mind. thanks."
how long is it supposed to take anyway... the flight there. he can see it in the distance, sort of. damn his poor depth perception as a cyclops! he would prefer the glasses if he remembered what it was like. maybe. theres probably no use in thinking too deep into that specifically though, hes just being silly now.
"you know, i come to this island a lot. dont be afraid to ask me specifically." she chuckles.
"uh-huh. noted." okay. more fuel for those two having something going on. cute. whatever.
bbli$zards has relaxed into her talons grip by the time they arrive and she drops him off around the natural monsters. he first waves at rooth, who he had just met. she smiles and gives him a thumbs up. vittoria perches on his head and introduces him, "hey guys, heres the new monster ive been talking about!"
"hey, names bbli$zard." he greets them with a confident smile, its honest this time, his tail is up, hah.
the naturals all greet him similarly chill, the pompoms more excitedly while the furcorns went and hid. he knows furcorns are a bit neurotic and skittish though, so that specifically doesnt bother him. theres an epic viveine tending to critters nearby, and he prefers not to bother them. to be blunt, he has no interest in them specifically. whatever. but he hears excited gasps and shouts behind him.
its the shugafam! they all seem excited to see him. he matches their energy by going up to them with a similarly excited smile in his face. in earnest, too. hes happy to be here.
he daps up shugavox who pulls him into a quick hug. "hey hey hey! youre the new kid, huh? thats just swell!" he shakes his hand, bbli$zard just laughs. "im ario! cmon, meet the fam! here, this guy here is shugabass."
"the names gibson, mate! how you doing?" he goes and shakes his hand.
"nice to meet you, gibson, im good."
shugavox nods and presents his next, er, cousin. "now the lassie over here is shugitar."
she pushes the shugabass out of the way to shake bbli$zards hands, too. "whats up, im peggie!"
"hi peggie, i know you from vittoria." he nods.
peggie smiles at him and puts her hands on her waist. "ayeee, the princess! yeah youre cool." not sure what thats all about, probably a pet name between them.
the shugarock comes in next with a hug on the shoulder, shes chiller than the others. a little. "yo! im klein."
"hey klein!"
another shugafam member shakes his hand, the shugajo. "im wyatt! swell to have you!"
oh, this is making his head spin a little. "swell to have you! heh--" hes like. honestly teetering on spacing out by the time pearl the shugabeats and jeremiah the shugabuzz come to greet him till his hand gets sore from all the handshaking (is that mean...?), but hes pulled back to awareness when shugabush himself arrives with a calm, friendly smile on his face. things are okay then.
"hey kid, im shugabush." he extends his hand, bbli$zard appreciates that he gave him the option. he appreciates the shugafams enthusiasm too, but, heres the guy.
he shakes his hand and nods. "im bbli$zard. may have heard about me."
"oh i have! ive heard good things. you got sweet moves and spit straight fire, huh? quite the charming fella is what ive been hearing."
"yeah? ive, uh, i havent gotten the chance to hear about you. but id love to! would be cool to get to know you." he replies, honest. he really doesnt know much about the guy other than hes another unique legendary. "i just know you dont play about that mandolin."
shugabush chuckles, his aged face giving him a gentle. "yup! its my precious. what do you say we talk some over treats?"
"thatd be sick. its why im here, i, i really want to talk to you about something."
"oh, i can imagine. come on," he says, guiding him to the castle with his arm around his shoulder, "what do you like? cake? a big salad?"
"salad sounds good." hes been hitting the gym at the castle on cold island frequently, of course it sounds good to him.
by the time they arrive, the shugafam is already at work on the castle kitchen, just scrambling around for those time bending diamonds to have the treats in question ready as soon as possible. being honest, bbli$zard also feels at home in that environment. everyone hauling ass everywhere. he can almost feel his hair greying like with his human counterpart. almost... its a genetic thing, okay?
he gets to know all of them. all about shugavox and shugitars gossip on previous flings, all about shugabuzz and shugajos anecdotes of things that may or may not have happened, and all about shugabeats's rivarly with one of the deedges on the island. shugabass had to excuse himself early for a reason he did not disclose... okay mon, whatever. theyre generally fun monsters to have around, even if he unusually didnt add much to the conversation and it was only his first time there. he didnt feel out of place this time. so, lunch goes great actually.
everyone is cleaning up after themselves when bbli$zard approaches shugabush. earnest and confident again. "hey man, can we talk? its like, super personal. and, i think you of all people will get me, you know?"
shugabush knows what hes getting at. he finishes cleaning for himself and nods with an understanding smile. "of course, son. lets talk."
the two walk out into the nearest balcony facing the island. the view from all the way up is something bbli$zard has enjoyed since he... well, started existing. so a month ago, again. he can see the natural monsters he barely talked to, and vittoria and peggie chatting close to the rest of the shugafam setting up to sing with everyone. soon the island is playing a sweet bluegrass tune. hes not all too enjoying of the genre, but its a good song. its in his nature to enjoy all of this.
"well? enjoy lunch?" shugabush starts the conversation again.
bbli$zard nods, "everyone on cold island is a bit more individualistic so we dont do those big lunches together. not that i know. i, actually dont eat with anyone. i mean, i have some--" he suddenly burps fire. its a big flame hah. he coughs, the fire taking his own throat by surprise. "crap! i did not-- i didnt do that to show off. i sometimes do, not this time though."
shugabush laughs, "hey, the fam has seen the some flames youve shot all the way from cold island! be careful with those, okay?"
bbli$zard laughs with him, a bit nervous. "yeah, i dont always... control them. they just happen sometimes. anyway, as i was saying... i, i do have some friends in cold island! sort of, uh, zeus the mammott is cool with me, the werdos have been initiating the convos with me, this stromboning dude, theyve been really nice to me. thats not all. obviously. i do have some friends in ethereal island that i met online... its... well, yeah, i mostly just eat alone. just whenever i feel hungry."
he hums. "would do you some good to be more of a team player, dont you think?" he tilts his head, his first advice.
"im trying to! i am. i like, you know, i like being part of this cool song. its like a party everyday and everyone can just, tap in or out and everyones friends with each other. i mean, ive only been here for a month and... maybe ive been a little closed off, sure, but vittoria did say some were, uh, a little apprehensive about me apparently..."
he nods. "hey, i know what thats like. not everyone on plant island appreciated me at first either. but they did come around quickly! my mandolin was just that charming, and i made a great duo with the bowgarts, that helped big time. those guys, woo, theyre popular."
when he thinks about it, the bowgarts do tie the island together. they carry it, even. "oh yeah, everyones friends with the bowgarts on my island too. for... good reason." he... should probably verbalize that. to them.
"is that whats been bothering you? not everyone wants to be friends yet?" shugabush asks, leaning against the balcony. "see, it would really help to--"
"no!" bbli$zard interrupts, he doesnt want to be perceived like that. "its. no. its part of it, but. theres the big... thing, i havent really made peace with." shugabush straightens up a little, he knows. "im a legendary... i was. human. i know what my... what his life was like leading up to my creation. a whole career, a whole life, this whole... persona he projected. that was me, but ive only been alive for like a month. im just supposed to live with that knowledge. im just... like. you know?"
shugabush mutters an answer, reminiscing now on his own experience. "i know." he keeps quiet though, it seems bbli$zard just has a lot more to say.
"and its just like. this innate feeling, you know? like, of this whole life you left behind, but also of how its not even-- yours. not anymore. or never was, its not you. theres a whole guy you were modeled after, and hes out there living a human life and..." hes getting a little heated in the face, but just because its his first time expressing this. "youre-- a monster, whos whole thing is to sing, and-- and it feels right! like, that feels-- right, to me. im playing my part and its fun. okay?
but dude, all the f-- fricking baggage this guy has? it went with me! its still in here," he taps his head, "and even though this world is full of joy and monsters willing to be friends no matter what, it just feels theres still people out to get me and i just have to ignore it. i just have to! like, whats up with that? i just started existing and i have 30 years of baggage and-- context in the back of my mind! it... it sucks! i dont want to feel like monsters hate me for who i am when they dont know. what i know. and im not who the guy im based on. its f-- like, is it all just in my head then? what the fuck do i do!"
hes out of breath at this. hes gripping the stone balcony and hes trembling. like visibly so. but hes finally verbalized this. his distressed expression is softly replaced by something more melancholic, his body relaxing a little. then its shugabushs turn to talk.
"you know, i had a family." bbli$zards eye opens wide. dude, are you kidding? a whole family. he didnt know that and he cant even imagine... how much harder that would be. to know that life wasnt yours, but of someone you were made to look like. someone who gave you the voice with which to sing. theyre fundamentally you, but you arent them. and whats worse is that he still smiles. "theyre all deep in my heart, in the back of my mind. and while my life is in the monster world. im never forgetting... his life, his son, the reason why im here. do you know the reason why youre here?"
he looks away, says a half-truth. to him. "... publicity."
his smile falters. "oh."
"yeah."
"thats fine though." the older mutters.
"right." at the end, it seems he doesnt want to think about the direct process of his own creation. its really not that which bothers him so much. "the worst part of it is i dont even... remember all of it. i dont know why he felt hated in that world. i dont know why i feel hated in this world."
shugabush has to think carefully on how to say this. a life that doesnt belong to him haunts him and he cant see the truth. he doesnt know and doesnt care for the circumstances that led to his creation. but he knows how he went on. "i think you need to learn to love this world. and with that, youll love yourself."
it takes the better part of a minute for bbli$zard to get that statement in his head. has he woken up and looked at his island in awe of its nature? does he appreciate his fellow monsters and has he told them? has he moved on from the songs he never sang and instead embraced the cold song in his heart? theres so much to give back to the world he was born into, and theres so much grace he hasnt extended to himself.
the truth is that he was made with love.
he gives a heavy sigh. and takes a minute to look at shugabush again. "ill think about that. thanks, mon." he only gives a small smile, but its enough for shugabush to know he understands. the smile is met with a bigger one, and a supportive hand on his shoulder.
"anytime, kid." his heart would break if he realized at the moment where this came from.
he stays long enough to hear shugabush himself play in the song, its his, after all. hes an easy crowd and comes around to the genre under no pressure. after their talk though he doesnt really have the energy to chat with anyone else and waits until vittoria is done talking to peggie to finally get back to cold island.
bbli$zard leaves with her, he just says hes really tired and needs a break. its believable from the new guy, and he has all the time in the world to come back and hear this song whenever he wants to anyway. on the way back he enjoys the mist above the living ocean and its slow turn into the snow of his home island, both monsters too lost in thought to make conversation the whole flight. hes really glad hes made friends today. he thinks he can call them that. another smile forms on his lips when the cold environment of his home island touches his scales again, hes relieved. the warmer climate in shugabush island was starting to bother him.
so, hes still not in the frame of mind to talk to someone and goes directly back to his castle room. when he finally lies down on his bed, he takes a tired look at the still open window in front of his bed. a beautiful eternal night. he appreciates being able to see the clear night sky. a shooting star flies by and he forgets to make a wish. yeah, another monster can have it.
hes not done thinking about this. he never will be. but he understands the truth. he doesnt remember the negative comments his counterpart might have taken to heart. he doesnt remember what heartbreak or ailment left him with a scar that he cant see. and he doesnt remember what made it all feel worth it. unless he tries really hard, he barely remembers what this persons name was. but he remembers he loved him. he is here because hes loved. so he chooses to sing to hear his voice, he loves him too.
he will learn to love this world, and he will love himself, and he will be loved.